Life in progress


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113. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language

Friday, December 22nd, 5:00pm
Morris (and Andrea)

 

Morris sits at the window. Andrea takes the seat beside him.

Morris: Ugh.

Andrea: Excuse me?

Morris: I still don’t have my Christmas shopping done.

Andrea: And this concerns me how, exactly?

Morris: It doesn’t. I just wanted to …

Andrea: Why does everyone on this freakin’ bus want to tell me their problems? Like, I can’t get a minute’s peace on this freakin’, fucking bus! First I’ve got people flashing me, spitting at me, telling me their problems …

Morris: I’d watch it, if I were you. I’m Santa.

Andrea: (stares at him) You’re what now?

Morris: Santa Claus. And with a mouth like that, you’re not likely to find anything in your stocking, young lady.

Andrea: (frowns) Wait. Didn’t you just say you haven’t finished your Christmas shopping? Doesn’t Santa MAKE the toys?

Morris: No, the elves do that. I have to go out and buy all the supplies.

Andrea: You’re fucking crazy.

Morris: (shaking his head, mumbles) Whatever is the world coming to?

Andrea: (mumbles) Exactly.

 

Next stop: Saturday, December 23rd, 6:00pm

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