Linda G. Hill

Life in progress

113. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

5 Comments

Note: Strong language

Friday, December 22nd, 5:00pm
Morris (and Andrea)

 

Morris sits at the window. Andrea takes the seat beside him.

Morris: Ugh.

Andrea: Excuse me?

Morris: I still don’t have my Christmas shopping done.

Andrea: And this concerns me how, exactly?

Morris: It doesn’t. I just wanted to …

Andrea: Why does everyone on this freakin’ bus want to tell me their problems? Like, I can’t get a minute’s peace on this freakin’, fucking bus! First I’ve got people flashing me, spitting at me, telling me their problems …

Morris: I’d watch it, if I were you. I’m Santa.

Andrea: (stares at him) You’re what now?

Morris: Santa Claus. And with a mouth like that, you’re not likely to find anything in your stocking, young lady.

Andrea: (frowns) Wait. Didn’t you just say you haven’t finished your Christmas shopping? Doesn’t Santa MAKE the toys?

Morris: No, the elves do that. I have to go out and buy all the supplies.

Andrea: You’re fucking crazy.

Morris: (shaking his head, mumbles) Whatever is the world coming to?

Andrea: (mumbles) Exactly.

 

Next stop: Saturday, December 23rd, 6:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.

Author: LindaGHill

There's a writer in here, clawing her way out.

5 thoughts on “113. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

  1. Jake: (sipping at an empty Big Gulp cup) You really Santa?

    Andrea: And who the freaking fuck are you?

    Jake: (pheaux-shocked; he drops the Big Gulp and mimes horror) Language!

    Andrea: Fuck you, tell me what to do–you mockin’ me?

    Jake: Not any more than you’re mocking real speech. Seriously, your dialogue’s atrocious. What, were you written by a college student?

    Andrea: What you talking about, freak?

    Jake: Are you really Santa?

    Morris: Yes.

    Jake: Like, for real?

    Morris: Of course.

    Jake: And you ride the B Route?

    Morris: Yeah. Sure. What’s wrong with that?

    Jake: I mean. If you were really Santa Claus, couldn’t you just “magic” yourself to all the shops? I mean, heck, why not just “magic” all your supplies? What’s the point of–I’m assuming–flying down from the North Pole, hopping on the B Route, buying supplies, hopping back on the B, and flying back home. Seems like too many steps to me, unless–

    Morris: Unless I’m trying to change a woman’s life for the better by refilling her Christmas Spirit.

    Jake: Unless you’re not Santa.

    Morris: You know what? You’re an asshole.

    Andrea: Fuck you, man.

    Morris: Yeah. Fuck you. Get off the bus.

    Andrea: Get out our blog post.

    Morris: Get off our blog.

    Jake: Alright. Okay. Okay. I’m sorry.

    Andrea: Get out of here.

    Jake leaves.

    Morris: What a jerk.

    Like

  2. Pingback: Shout out | NOT MY SECRET…overcoming the shame of sexual abuse

  3. Great story. Happy holidays!

    Like

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