Linda G. Hill

Life in progress


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79. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Saturday, November 18th, 8:00pm
Drommen (and Edward)

 

Drommen sits at the window. Edward takes the seat beside him.

Drommen: What the hell are you doing back?

Edward: I’ve decided to forgive you.

Drommen: (laughs) You’re joking.

Edward: No. I’ve forgiven you because it’s obvious you’re not trying to kill me. Not like some people.

Drommen: I don’t want to kill you. I just want you and your plastic fangs and your sparkles off my bus.

Edward: (hisses, showing his plastic teeth) They’re not plastic. They’re all mine.

Drommen: I have no doubt they’re yours. Where’d you buy them from – Dollarama?

Edward: I got them from the dentist. After someone knocked my real fangs out.

Drommen: Your real fangs?

Edward: His name was van Helsing. Do you know him?

Drommen: Yeah, I know him. He was from Dracula.

Edward: Dracula? No way. Dracula was a myth. I’m the real thing.

Drommen: Pfft. You’re just a teeny-bopper wannabe.

Edward: I am not! Do you want me to bite your neck and prove it?

Drommen: (glares for a moment) You. Wouldn’t. Dare.

Edward stares, uncertain. He stands, holding the skirt of his trenchcoat up to cover the lower part of his face. He hisses, then runs to the door to dramatically wait for the next stop.

 

 

Next stop: Sunday, November 19th, 1:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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78. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Friday, November 17th, 7:00pm
Candice and Sandi

 

Candice: I can’t believe you’re coming back to work.

Sandi: Yeah, hell, I’ve got to make a living, right?

Candice: Doesn’t the preacher make enough?

Sandi: Jeff’s suspended from work.

Candice: (looking shocked) Because you guys got married?

Sandi: Yep. Apparently him marrying someone who worked in a dungeon is too much for the church to handle.

Candice: So what is he gonna do?

Sandi: Take it to the higher-up.

Candice: You mean …

Sandi: Yep, the big guy himself.

Candice: Damn.

Sandi: Let’s hope not.

 

Next stop: Saturday, November 18th, 8:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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77. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language

Thursday, November 16th, 6:00pm
Michael (and Wanda)

 

Michael sits at the window, reading a book. Wanda takes the seat beside him.

Wanda: Do you mind if I paint my nails?

Michael: (without looking away from his book) Nope.

Wanda: (takes a bottle of nail polish out of her pocket) Nasty outside today.

Michael: (without looking away from his book) Yep.

Wanda: (singing) Oh the weather outside is frightful. (speaking) Shit. (singing) But the fire is so delightful. (speaking, etc.) Shit. But as long as you love me so.  Shit.  Let …

Michael: (regards her for the first time) Why do you keep saying “shit”?

Wanda: The bus keeps ruining my nail polish when it goes over a bump.

Michael: So don’t paint your nails on the bus.

Wanda: Mind your own business.

Michael goes back to his book.

Wanda: (singing) Let it … Shit. Let it … Shit. Let it … Shit.

 

Next stop: Friday, November 17th, 7:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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76. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Adult theme

Wednesday, November 15th, 6:00pm
Donald and Robert

 

Robert: So what now? You can’t live on the street.

Donald: I’ll just have to move in with you.

Robert: (raises eyebrows) I beg your pardon?

Donald: You’re the one who got me into this mess in the first place. It’s the least you can do.

Robert: If I remember correctly, it was you who came on to me.

Donald: Well I wouldn’t have if you weren’t gay. Now I’m gay too.

Robert: I didn’t make you gay.

Donald: Didn’t you?

Robert: NO!

Donald: So you’re not going to let me move in with you?

Robert: NO!

Donald: Fine. Then you’re fired.

Robert: You can’t fire me because I won’t let your sorry ass move in with me!

Donald: Try me.

Robert: Okay then. Fire me and I go to YOUR boss and tell him you’ve been blowing me every chance you get.

Donald: You wouldn’t!

Robert: Damned right I would. And you know what the school board is going to think of that, Mr. Principal!

Donald snorts and crosses his arms over his chest.

Robert: Look, you can stay with me for a couple of days until you find a place.

Donald: (smiles) Thanks.

Robert: You can sleep on the couch.

 

Next stop: Thursday, November 16th, 6:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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75. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Tuesday, November 14th, 5:00pm
Drommen (and Hillary) (and Sean)

 

Drommen sits at the window. Hillary takes the seat beside him.

Hillary: Hi Jake.

Drommen: Hi there, Jessica.

Hillary: You’ll never guess what I saw on the bus yesterday.

Drommen: What was it?

Hillary: A flasher.

Drommen: (frowning) A flasher? On my bus?

Hillary: Yep.

Drommen: How dare he! Flashing a young lady like you! What did you do?

Hillary: I laughed at him. He got off the bus.

Drommen: Huh.

Hillary: I’d heard about him before. A lady on here told me there’s a habitual flasher on the bus. She said his name is Drummin or something. That must have been him.

Drommen: No it wasn’t.

Hillary: (lifts an eyebrow) How are you so sure?

Drommen: Well … um … You said he just flashed you, right?

Hillary: Yeah.

Drommen: I heard this other guy is much more polite. He asks first.

Hillary: (laughing) A polite flasher? Now I’ve heard everything.

Drommen: It’s possible.

Hillary: Riiight. The day I see a polite flasher is the day I change my name to Hillary.

Sean gets on the bus.

Sean: (as he passes in the aisle) Hey, Hillary.

Drommen smiles.

 

Next stop: Wednesday, November 15th, 6:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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74. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Adult theme

Monday, November 13th, 7:00pm
Villem (and Andrea, Zoey, Donald, and Hillary)

 

Villem sits at the window. Andrea takes the seat beside him.

Villem: Afternoon.

Andrea: Good afternoon, what’s up?

Villem: Me. (exposes his penis)

Andrea: Ew! Ew! Ew! What is it with guys these days?

Andrea moves to another seat. Several stops later Zoey sits beside Villem.

Villem: Hey.

Zoey: Hey.

Villem: Look at this. (exposes himself)

Zoey: (stands and lifts her foot, then puts it back down) Oh what’s the use?

Zoey moves to another seat. Several stops later Donald sits beside Villem.

Villem: Nice evening.

Donald: Not really. I’m depressed.

Villem: Why’s that?

Donald: My wife just left me for another woman.

Villem: Another woman? You mean, you’re a woman?

Donald: (sighs) No, but apparently I’m gay too.

Villem: (smiles) Have I got a treat for you! (exposes his penis)

Donald: (stares for a moment) Nope. Does nothing for me. (sighs) This is so confusing.

Several stops later Donald gets off the bus, and Hillary sits beside Villem.

Villem: Well, hello there!

Hillary: (flatly) Hi.

Villem: I’d like to introduce you to Willie. (exposes his penis)

Hillary: Seriously? Is that all you got? (laughs hysterically)

Villem excuses himself and gets off the bus.

 

Next stop: Tuesday, November 14th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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73. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language

Sunday, November 12th, 10:00am
Kyra and Jade

 

Kyra: I drank waaay too much last night.

Jade: Oh fuck, me too. I don’t remember nothin’. I woke up on the floor with Richie pretending to be asleep while he groped me.

Kyra: Prick. That’s not too bad. I woke up with your big fat tit in my face.

Jade: No way. Where the hell did we go? I remember walking to the bar.

Kyra: I kinda remember walking home. Next thing I knew I was sitting in some dude’s kitchen, watching him stitch up a cut in his arm. Fuckin’ fucked up.

Jade: I ain’t never drinking again.

Kyra: Me neither.

Jade: Too bad. Richie’s havin’ a party tonight.

Kyra: We gotta go.

Jade: Fuckin’ A.

 

Next stop: Monday, November 13th, 7:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.