Linda G. Hill

Life in progress


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264. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language. Also, don’t read this whilst eating.

Tuesday, May 22nd, 5:00pm
Andrea (and Ralph)

 

Andrea sits at window. Ralph takes the seat beside her.

Ralph: Good afternoon.

Andrea: Yeah? What’s so good about it?

Ralph: Oh I don’t know. I’m feeling pretty good.

Andrea: Good for you! I’ve had a lousy day. First of all my alarm clock, like, doesn’t go off on time? And I have to take a taxi to work, then I get there and the coffee pot’s, like, broken so I have to wait ’til lunch time to get a dose of caffeine, and then I come back and, like, this new guy? Who just started working? He won’t shut up with the innuendos. You know, like, comin’ on to me and shit. I’m like dude, you’re like more than thirty years old!

Ralph: Sounds like a rough day.

Andrea: (snorts) You could say that.

Ralph: I just got out of hospital. I started shitting green stuff and before I knew it I was …

Andrea: (holds up hand) Please, don’t go on.

Ralph: … puking up all this brown crap, and I hadn’t been eating anything brown …

Andrea: (gags) Please.

Ralph: … so it was like my puke was coming out of my ass and sh …

Andrea: (stands, hand over mouth) Excuse me.

Ralph: … it coming out of my …

Andrea: MOVE!

Ralph: … throat.

Andrea stands at the door retching, waiting for the bus stop.

Ralph: (calling out to her) Hope you have a better day tomorrow!

 

Next stop: Wednesday, May 23rd, 6:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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263. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Monday, May 21st, 8:00pm
Lily (and Edward)

 

Lily sits at the window. Edward takes the seat beside her.

Lily: Oh, thank the Master you’re here.

Edward: What’s wrong?

Lily: I hooked up with this guy the other night, and he literally took a bite out of me. (lifts sleeve to show shoulder wound) Look.

Edward: (cringes) That’s nasty. I hope you bit him back.

Lily: Of course! But that doesn’t help this. (points to wound) And the worst part is I think I’ve got hair growing out of my ears now.

Edward: Do you think he’s a werewolf?

Lily: Holy Garlic, I hope not. What kind of monster would that make me?

Edward: Same kind as him if you bit him too. Let me look in your ears.

Lily brushes hair out of the way and tilts head.

Edward: Hmm …

Lily: What?

Edward: What colour is our ear wax supposed to be?

Lily: Vampires don’t have ear wax.

Edward: We don’t? (sticks finger in ear, pulls it out and studies it) You’re right. Well, the good news is I don’t see any hair.

Lily: The bad news?

Edward: I can see out the window through there.

Lily hits him, then doubles over in pain from shoulder wound.

 

Next stop: Tuesday, May 22nd, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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262. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Sunday, May 20th, 11:00am
Trevor and Gloria

 

Trevor: You know what tonight is, right?

Gloria: Oh no, what now?

Trevor: It’s 70s night.

Gloria: Lovely.

Trevor: I found you the perfect pair of bellbottoms.

Gloria: No.

Trevor: And platform shoes.

Gloria: I said no.

Trevor: And heart-shaped glasses.

Gloria: And don’t tell me – an Afro wig.

Trevor: Oh yes.

Gloria: (sighs) You’re killing me softly.

Trevor: Gonna play that funky music.

Gloria: My sweet Lord.

Trevor: Gonna walk on the wild side.

Gloria: Dream on.

Trevor: Imagine!

Gloria: Let it be!

Trevor: Fine. Go your own way.

Gloria: (stares out the window) I will survive.

 

Next stop: Monday, May 21st, 8:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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261. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Saturday, May 19th, 8:00pm
Simon (and Lily)

 

Simon sits at the window. Lily takes the seat beside him.

Lily: Hey, good lookin’.

Simon: (smiles) Well, hello there.

Lily: Nice night to be out on the prowl.

Simon: It is, indeed.

Lily: Wanna go out for a bite?

Simon: Funny you should ask that. I was going to say I’d like to eat you. Whole.

Lily: (grins widely, showing a mouthful of fake fangs) Beauty.

 

Next stop: Sunday, May 20th, 11:00am

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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260. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Friday, May 18th, 5:00pm
Miles (and Drew)

 

Miles sits at the window. Drew takes the seat beside him.

Drew: Nice afternoon after all that rain we had yesterday.

Miles: Uh huh.

Drew: Makes me think of the age-old question, why did the duck cross the road?

Miles: Shouldn’t that be a chicken?

Drew: It makes more sense that it should be a duck, don’t you think? A duck is a wild animal and more likely to be waiting at the side of a road, rather than a chicken, which would be penned up on a farm.

Miles: (stares at him for a moment) Do you have any toilet paper?

Drew: Hmm … (contemplates the question and nods slowly) I see what you’re saying.

 

Next stop: Saturday, May 19th, 8:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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259. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Thursday, May 17th, 5:00pm
Aaron (and Rachael)

 

Aaron sits at the window. Rachael takes the seat beside him.

Rachael: (combing her wet hair back with her fingers) Whew, is it ever raining out there!

Aaron: Great day, isn’t it?

Rachael: Sure, if you’re a duck.

Aaron: Or if you’re me. I’m going to see my kids.

Rachael: Been a while?

Aaron: Yeah. My ex has been keeping them away from me. The whole lawyer thing, you know. I’m finally seeing them for the first time in a year.

Rachael: You must be excited.

Aaron: I am. One of them just had an operation.

Rachael: Oh dear. Nothing too serious I hope.

Aaron: Nah. He was just neutered.

Rachael: Wait … I thought you said they were your kids …

Aaron: They are.

Rachael: Oookaaay…  (nods slowly and looks away)

 

Next stop: Friday, May 18th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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258. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Wednesday, May 16th, 5:00pm
Drew (and Zoey)

 

Drew sits at the window. Zoey takes the seat beside him.

Drew: (points out the window) There is a bird in a tree.

Zoey: I’m sorry?

Drew: There is a bird in a tree … Or is the tree simply there for the bird?

Zoey: I think the bird …

Drew: (holds up a finger) You are going to say that because the bird moves and the tree does not, that the bird is the one who must be the subject, the one who provides the action, and the tree is merely awaiting the bird’s arrival. BUT! Does not the tree live longer?

Zoey: (nods slowly) It does …

Drew: So again, I ask, is the bird in the tree or does the tree exist for the bird?

Zoey: Errr … Both?

Drew: (frowns) I must contemplate this further.

Zoey: You’re welcome.

 

Next stop: Thursday, May 17th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.