Linda G. Hill

Life in progress


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101. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Sunday, December 10th, 10:00am
Ralph (and Kyra)

 

Ralph sits at the window. Kyra takes the seat beside him.

Ralph: (after several stops) Have you ever had such a bumpy ride?

Kyra: (with arms crossed over her stomach) No. And I’m so hungover.

Ralph: Hungover, eh? (chuckles) Those days are long past for me. I do remember ’em though.

Kyra: Yeah, well, I’m never drinking again.

Ralph: ‘Til next week, I expect. (winks)

Kyra: Yeah, maybe.

Ralph: You should be careful about that. Pickled my liver, I did.

Kyra: Huh.

Ralph: Yep, ended up with a lump the size of Manhattan.

Kyra rocks, arms tight over her stomach.

Ralph: Now when I throw up, it comes up all bloody.

Kyra changes seats, retching.

 

Next stop: Monday, December 11th, 8:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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100. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Saturday, December 9th, 4:00pm
Trish (and Justin)

 

Trish sits by the window. Justin takes the seat beside her.

Justin: (turns head nonchalantly, then raises eyebrows) Don’t I know you from somewhere?

Trish shakes her head vigorously and leans away.

Justin: Sure. You’re that girl I saw at Dave Brown’s party last week.

Trish: I don’t go to parties.

Justin: No way. Really?

Trish shakes her head.

Justin: I coulda sworn … (stares down the aisle for a moment, then turns back to her) Hey, d’you want to go to a movie with me?

Trish: No.

Justin: Coffee?

Trish: I don’t drink coffee.

Justin: What do you do?

Trish: I’m a Mormon.

Justin: Can I at least get your number?

Trish: No.

Justin: (shakes head) Jeez, sorry, I forgot. Mormons don’t have phones.

Trish rolls her eyes and looks out the window.

 

Next stop: Sunday, December 10th, 10:00am

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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99. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Friday, December 8th, 9:00pm
Jade (and Doug)

 

Jade sits by the window. Doug takes the seat beside her.

Jade: (staring at Doug) What are you, a stripper or something?

Doug: (looks down at himself and then at her, confused) No, I’m a fireman.

Jade: (snorts) Do you wear your uniform all the time?

Doug: No, only when I’m going to a fire.

Jade: (smiling) You’re going to a fire … on a bus?

Doug: Yes. It’s raging as we speak.

Jade: (laughs) Where?

Doug: Downtown. (strains to look at the bus driver) Can you hurry it up?

Jade: Seriously?

Doug: (to the bus driver) There’s a fire downtown. You don’t want to be responsible for people dying, do you?

Jade: Hey! He can’t go any faster. There’s traffic.

Doug: And why do you think there’s so much traffic? There’s a fire!

Jade: (laughs) You’re a stripper, aren’t you.

Doug: I’m not a stripper. I’m a fireman. And there’s a fire.

Jade: Well then why don’t you run? You’d go faster than this bus is.

Doug: That would be violating my … fire code regulations.

Jade: What “fire code regulations”?

Doug: It states that I must arrive at the fire in a city-owned vehicle. I missed the fire truck so I’m on a bus.

Jade: (stares at him for a moment) I’ll give you twenty bucks if you drop trou.

Doug: (hesitates) Make it fifty and you’re on.

 

Next stop: Saturday, December 9th, 4:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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98. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Thursday, December 7th, 6:00pm
Lily (and Phil)

 

Lily sits at the window. Phil takes the seat beside her.

Lily: Hi.

Phil: (sighs) My car broke down.

Lily: Aww, that’s too bad.

Phil: Yeah. I’ve got to get rid of that piece of crap and get something new. I hate taking the bus.

Lily: I’ve got something for sale.

Phil: Yeah? Is it Japanese?

Lily: Nope. It’s all Transylvanian, baby. (smiles, running her tongue across her fake fangs)

Phil changes seats.

 

Next stop: Friday, December 8th, 9:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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97. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Adult theme

Wednesday, December 6th, 6:00pm
Robert and Donald

Robert: It’s time.

Donald: For what?

Robert: For you to get off my couch. You’re going to have to make a decision.

Donald: Between what?

Robert: Either move into my room or get the hell out. I haven’t gotten laid in more than two weeks.

Donald: (sighs) What will everyone at work think?

Robert: They’re already talking. They know we go home together every night.

Donald: (straightens and stares at him) You mean they know we’ve … coupled?

Robert: (laughs) Coupled?

Donald: You know what I mean.

Robert: If by a couple of blow jobs …

Donald: SHHH!

Robert: (crossing his arms) You’re not ready. I think you should find another place to stay.

Donald: Hmph. And where do you propose I go?

Robert: Go find yourself a nice girl.

 

Next stop: Thursday, December 7th, 6:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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96. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Tuesday, December 5th, 1:00pm
Felicia (and Zoey)

 

Felicia sits at the window. Zoey takes the seat beside her.

Felicia: Nice day, huh? …wait. Why is the sun on THAT side of the bus?

Zoey: Errr …

Felicia: Are we going west?

Zoey: Yeah.

Felicia: Damn it! I’m supposed to be going the other way.

Zoey: Are you on your way to something you don’t want to go to?

Felicia: (stares at her) How did you know?

Zoey: Just checking out the theory that there’s no such thing as an accident.

Felicia: Wow. I guess you’re right. I’m on my way to a new job, and my ex-boyfriend works there.

Zoey: (smiling) For the best?

Felicia: (shrugs) I guess so. Only he’s kept me broke for years. Nothing changes. (sighs and stares out the window)

 

Next stop: Wednesday, December 6th, 6:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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95. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Monday, December 4th, 5:00pm
Drommen and Francine

 

Drommen: You know you can just quit your job.

Francine: And what, have you look after me?

Drommen: Of course. You know I’ll do anything for you.

Francine: I can’t let you do that. I’ll just stay put.

Drommen: Well, at least promise me you’ll look for something else. I can tell you’re getting stressed out.

Francine: (sighs) You’re right. I look around.

Drommen takes her hand and pats it.

Francine: I don’t know what I’d do without you.

 

Next stop: Tuesday, December 5th, 1:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.