Life in progress


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#SoCS – Framing things

Not sure if you’ve noticed this about me, but I tend to frame my statements with questions, especially when I’m not sure whether someone is going to agree with me. In social settings, it helps me to suss out where people stand on issues. A properly placed question will usually tell me whether someone is serious or being sarcastic, whether they feel strongly about something, and generally how receptive they might be to my sense of humour. Because it’s rare that I have a conversation–almost any kind of conversation–without humour infused into it.

Take the phone call I got from my doctor’s office yesterday. They’re sending me for all kinds of tests because of my eyes, including an MRI. (We’ll see how long that takes and whether there’s any truth to the mythical long wait times in Canada for healthcare. But I digress.) The nurse from the doctor’s office called me to ask a bunch of questions that needed answering before she could send the requisition for the MRI, including whether I had any metal implants (pacemaker, etc.), and a bunch of other stuff including whether I had any shrapnel or bullets in my body. The question was so unexpected, I started laughing. And then she started laughing. And we laughed, and we laughed, and I said no, I don’t have any of that stuff.

All this to say that if you look at life with a shallow enough perspective, you can find funny in just about everything.

Don’t you think?

SoCS badge by Pamela, at https://achronicalofhope.com/

This post is brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click the following link to find all the other posts in the comment section, and join in. It’s fun! https://lindaghill.com/2019/07/19/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-july-20-19/


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#SoCS – Social Responsibilities

I think social media might be ruining me.

Okay, I’ve never really enjoyed the idea of going out and being sociable, unless it was with close friends. And even then, the path of least resistance–staying home in my pjs–often felt more comfortable than going out. Usually, I’m okay once I get there. It’s the idea of going.

But now, I’m getting so used to typing my sociability rather than being forced to speak, I’m getting lazy. You know, with having to come up with the first thing out of my brain and being stuck with it. Because when I’m speaking, it’s out there. When I type it, unless I hit send by accident, I can reword it until it’s right.

But you know the one thing I’ve always hated? Waiting for my turn to introduce myself to a group. You listen to people say their name and their position/relation/whatever, and it’s getting closer and closer to your turn and you start rehearsing what you’re going to say in your head because you don’t want to screw it up, and by the time the guy beside you is finished, you sputter and spit out your reply so badly that you wish your shoes could swallow you or that the power could suddenly go out, giving you a chance to escape when nobody’s looking.

Or maybe it’s just me.

I suppose there’s the odd person who actually revels in the opportunity to speak, but nah, that ain’t me.

I’m a lot better at it, though, now, than I used to be. When I was a kid, I HATED speaking in public. Now I still hate it, but at least I don’t really care what people think of me when I do. I hate it now in lower case.

There’s a difference.

SoCS badge by Pamela, at https://achronicalofhope.com/

This post is brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday! Click the following link to find all the other awesome posts listed in the comment section, and join in! It’s fun! https://lindaghill.com/2019/06/14/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-june-15-19/


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273. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Thursday, May 31st, 10:00am
April and May

 

May: (pointing out the window) Isn’t that June?

April: (looks over May’s shoulder) Is it?

May: I think it is. I wasn’t expecting her ’til tomorrow.

April: Probably not her then.

May: (sits back) Huh. So what are your plans?

April: (shrugs) I shouldn’t even be here.

May: True. What do you say we go on holiday?

April: Sure! We’ll come back when Robin does.

May: Here’s hoping. For you, at least.

 

Next stop: Friday, June 1st, 9:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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270. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Monday, May 28th, 5:00pm
Jules and Francis

 

Jules: This is so far below me.

Francis: It’s a bus: a glorified limo.

Jules: With people I don’t know in it!

Francis: So … meet them!

Jules: (stands) Hello, fellow travellers! I’m Jules!

Jules waits for a response for a few moments.

Jules: (sits) They’re all mute.

 

Next stop: Tuesday, May 29th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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268. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Saturday, May 26th, 4:00pm
Crystal and Jasmine

 

Crystal: So I’m, like, sitting in the coffee shop minding my own business, right?

Jasmine: Uh huh.

Crystal: And this guy comes up to me and asks me if he can sit down and I’m, like, ‘there’s plenty of other seats in here’ and he’s, like, ‘well I thought I could sit with you. You’re really pretty.’

Jasmine: No. Way. So what did you do?

Crystal: Like, exactly what anyone would do. I threw my coffee at him.

Jasmine: I hope it was hot.

Crystal: (smiles) Straight out of the steamer.

Jasmine: Serves him right.

Crystal: Right? Oh my God. Some people.

 

Next stop: Sunday, May 27th, 9:00am

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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266. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Thursday, May 24th, 4:00pm
Drew (and Sean)

 

Drew sits at the window. Sean takes the seat beside him.

Drew: Have you ever wondered at the delicacy of the connection we have with society on the world wide web?

Sean: No.

Drew: Think about it. We’ve become so reliant on this service, this technology. And yet it is what it is: a web. Strong and yet so precarious. We stomp along the spokes, hopping around what is essentially the world, and yet what if it should break?

Sean: Snail mail?

Drew: Indeed. You’re very smart, young man. Where do you get all that intellectual prowess from?

Sean: (shrugs) I saw a street address on the back of a cereal box once, for people who don’t have the internet.

Drew: Really?

Sean: Count Chocula, I think.

Drew: Fascinating.

 

Next stop: Friday, May 25th, 6:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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264. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language. Also, don’t read this whilst eating.

Tuesday, May 22nd, 5:00pm
Andrea (and Ralph)

 

Andrea sits at window. Ralph takes the seat beside her.

Ralph: Good afternoon.

Andrea: Yeah? What’s so good about it?

Ralph: Oh I don’t know. I’m feeling pretty good.

Andrea: Good for you! I’ve had a lousy day. First of all my alarm clock, like, doesn’t go off on time? And I have to take a taxi to work, then I get there and the coffee pot’s, like, broken so I have to wait ’til lunch time to get a dose of caffeine, and then I come back and, like, this new guy? Who just started working? He won’t shut up with the innuendos. You know, like, comin’ on to me and shit. I’m like dude, you’re like more than thirty years old!

Ralph: Sounds like a rough day.

Andrea: (snorts) You could say that.

Ralph: I just got out of hospital. I started shitting green stuff and before I knew it I was …

Andrea: (holds up hand) Please, don’t go on.

Ralph: … puking up all this brown crap, and I hadn’t been eating anything brown …

Andrea: (gags) Please.

Ralph: … so it was like my puke was coming out of my ass and sh …

Andrea: (stands, hand over mouth) Excuse me.

Ralph: … it coming out of my …

Andrea: MOVE!

Ralph: … throat.

Andrea stands at the door retching, waiting for the bus stop.

Ralph: (calling out to her) Hope you have a better day tomorrow!

 

Next stop: Wednesday, May 23rd, 6:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.