Linda G. Hill

Life in progress


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100. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Saturday, December 9th, 4:00pm
Trish (and Justin)

 

Trish sits by the window. Justin takes the seat beside her.

Justin: (turns head nonchalantly, then raises eyebrows) Don’t I know you from somewhere?

Trish shakes her head vigorously and leans away.

Justin: Sure. You’re that girl I saw at Dave Brown’s party last week.

Trish: I don’t go to parties.

Justin: No way. Really?

Trish shakes her head.

Justin: I coulda sworn … (stares down the aisle for a moment, then turns back to her) Hey, d’you want to go to a movie with me?

Trish: No.

Justin: Coffee?

Trish: I don’t drink coffee.

Justin: What do you do?

Trish: I’m a Mormon.

Justin: Can I at least get your number?

Trish: No.

Justin: (shakes head) Jeez, sorry, I forgot. Mormons don’t have phones.

Trish rolls her eyes and looks out the window.

 

Next stop: Sunday, December 10th, 10:00am

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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99. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Friday, December 8th, 9:00pm
Jade (and Doug)

 

Jade sits by the window. Doug takes the seat beside her.

Jade: (staring at Doug) What are you, a stripper or something?

Doug: (looks down at himself and then at her, confused) No, I’m a fireman.

Jade: (snorts) Do you wear your uniform all the time?

Doug: No, only when I’m going to a fire.

Jade: (smiling) You’re going to a fire … on a bus?

Doug: Yes. It’s raging as we speak.

Jade: (laughs) Where?

Doug: Downtown. (strains to look at the bus driver) Can you hurry it up?

Jade: Seriously?

Doug: (to the bus driver) There’s a fire downtown. You don’t want to be responsible for people dying, do you?

Jade: Hey! He can’t go any faster. There’s traffic.

Doug: And why do you think there’s so much traffic? There’s a fire!

Jade: (laughs) You’re a stripper, aren’t you.

Doug: I’m not a stripper. I’m a fireman. And there’s a fire.

Jade: Well then why don’t you run? You’d go faster than this bus is.

Doug: That would be violating my … fire code regulations.

Jade: What “fire code regulations”?

Doug: It states that I must arrive at the fire in a city-owned vehicle. I missed the fire truck so I’m on a bus.

Jade: (stares at him for a moment) I’ll give you twenty bucks if you drop trou.

Doug: (hesitates) Make it fifty and you’re on.

 

Next stop: Saturday, December 9th, 4:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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98. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Thursday, December 7th, 6:00pm
Lily (and Phil)

 

Lily sits at the window. Phil takes the seat beside her.

Lily: Hi.

Phil: (sighs) My car broke down.

Lily: Aww, that’s too bad.

Phil: Yeah. I’ve got to get rid of that piece of crap and get something new. I hate taking the bus.

Lily: I’ve got something for sale.

Phil: Yeah? Is it Japanese?

Lily: Nope. It’s all Transylvanian, baby. (smiles, running her tongue across her fake fangs)

Phil changes seats.

 

Next stop: Friday, December 8th, 9:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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92. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Adult theme

Friday, December 1st, 8:00pm
Lily (and Eric)

 

Lily sits at the window. Eric takes the seat beside her.

Lily: Hi.

Eric: Hello.

Lily: Are you nice?

Eric: I think so.

Lily: (giggles) I need a nice guy.

Eric: Errr … okay. I’m married.

Lily: Oh. That’s too bad. I was going to ask you if you wanted a blow job. (smiles, showing a mouthful of fake fangs)

Eric: (smiles warily) That’s okay. I’ll pass.

 

Next stop: Saturday, December 2nd, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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91. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Thursday, November 30th, 7:00pm
Michael (and The Darkness)

 

Michael sits at the window, reading The Left Hand of Darkness by Ursula K. Le Guin. The Darkness takes the seat beside him.

The Darkness: (looking back and forth between the book and his own left hand) I am The Darkness.

Michael: (glancing at The Darkness) I beg your pardon?

The Darkness: (snatches the book away) I am the Darkness!

Michael: Hey, give me my book back!

The Darkness: (stands, holding the book up) I AM THE DARKNESS!! I AM THE DARKNESS!!

The Darkness gets kicked off the bus. With Michael’s book.

 

Next stop: Friday, December 1st, 8:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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90. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language

Wednesday, November 29th, 5:00pm
Monica (and Justin)

 

Monica sits in the window seat. Justin takes the seat across the aisle.

Justin: Hey, don’t I know you from somewhere?

Monica: Who, me? I don’t think so. I came here from out west.

Justin: Oh yeah? Whereabouts?

Monica: Calgary.

Justin: Calgary! You must know Jimmy Schrodinger!

Monica: Errr … no …?

Justin: How about Dave Brown?

Monica: I do know a Dave Brown, but …

Justin: Long blonde hair? Really skinny?

Monica: (shakes head) No. He has short black hair and he’s pretty big.

Justin: Weird. My name is Justin by the way. What’s yours?

Monica: (scoffs) Fuck you.

Justin: Well that’s nice. Are all people from Calgary like you?

Monica: Ask Jimmy Whatever, asshole.

 

Next stop: Thursday, November 30th, 7:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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87. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Sunday, November 26th, 5:00pm
Andrea (and Thomas)

 

Andrea sits at the window. Thomas takes the seat beside her.

Andrea: (batting her eyelashes) Hi.

Thomas: Hey there, good lookin’ lady. (spits on the floor in the aisle)

Andrea: EW!!

Thomas: What?

Andrea: EW! EW! EW! EW!

Thomas: (spits on the floor again) What?

Andrea: EW! EW! EWWW!!!!

Thomas gets up, shaking his head, and moves to another seat.

 

 

Next stop: Monday, November 27th, 6:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.