Life in progress


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Hoarding and the ‘I Told You So’s

I’m a hoarder. There. I admitted it.

That’s not to say that my house is full of stuff I’m never going to use. In fact I love throwing things away. Keeping my life as simple as possible, by not buying what I don’t need and not keeping what I haven’t used in years is something I strive for.

No, my hoarding is reserved for my technological devices. I keep everything, sent and received. Thank goodness for online resources, because I don’t own enough hard drive space to store everything I keep by a long shot.

Why do I keep everything? Some of it is obvious. Pictures, for example, are not easily replaced when they are of family. And stories – I have some as old as ten years and more. Looking back I can see what I’ve done to hone my skills… or at least I like to think I have.

However, it’s my stash of emails that I find the most useful and fascinating. I’m continually moaning about what modern technology has done to disintegrate social interaction: it has become easier and more efficient to email or text than talk to one another. But that’s where the beauty lies.

I remember having arguments with people about what they said or didn’t say. Sometimes these conflicts would last hours, days, even months, and they could never truly be resolved because it was one person’s word against the other. You see where I’m going with this, right?

Now, not only can we retain proof of what was said, a well organized collection of communication can even make it easy to find what we’re looking for, and at the click of a button, we can obtain a proof-positive record of exactly what went down. Not only that, we can record with ease, pictures of the point we’re trying to prove. Say, for instance, you have a friend who ALWAYS does something – take that funny face they make when they’re concentrating for instance – but they are convinced they don’t do it. With technology at our fingertips, all we have to do is whip out that handy phone, snap a pic, and Voila! Told you so!

You didn’t tell me you were going to meet me at 8pm on Thursday for drinks? HA! Here’s the text that proves it!

So there you have it. The reason I hoard everything; because I never know when I’m going to want to prove a point.

And possibly why I don’t have very many friends. 😉


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Emptiness

Last week I found this:

Empty Bug2

Empty shell

It is the empty shell of what I believe is a June Bug. I didn’t even realize they shed their skins, but there you go. [Edit: It’s a cicada.] The thing is, I’ve been contemplating these remains for the past week, and how they  relate to my life.

The fact is, I am full. It would be easy for me to say I need to shed my skin and let out the real me, but that isn’t quite the case. For many months I have felt oppressed by a relationship in which I felt unable to speak my mind. In those months, feelings, thoughts, visions, and opinions have built up which I have repressed, for fear of pissing someone else off. It’s no way to live, especially for a writer who lives to put to paper her every inspiration. It’s difficult to function in every facet of life, for me, when I am unable to express myself.

There’s a teaching in Taoism, in which the example of a full cup of water is used. At first glance, a cup filled to the brim with water may be considered a positive thing. And yet, a full cup holds no potential. The usefulness of a cup is its empty space… When I’m full of thoughts and ideas, I’m also of no use to anyone.

My problem now is twofold. Although I’m out of the relationship that caused me to keep quiet, I am so full of the things I want to say, I don’t know where to start.  The other part of it is that I know the person involved may be reading my blog. So, do I say to hell with it and speak my mind, the other person’s feelings be damned? Or do I continue to tread cautiously?

I found, in examining the second of two pictures I took of this bug, there is something that looks like a face inside it. This picture is not doctored. But the face inside the empty bug shell, I think, may be me, still afraid to come out.

Empty bug

Look closely to see the face


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Adventures on my Paper Route – All about living

Sometimes we have happy hour,

Dregs

and sometimes (apparently at 9pm especially) we have sad hour.

We all have to work, in some capacity, to feed ourselves

Bee and flower

but I’m reminded by my son that every once in a while we just have to stop

Smell the flowers

and smell the flowers.

(Preferably the ones without bees.)

Oh! Oh! Can I play?

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noughtsandcrosses (1)


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Adventures on my Paper Route – Angry Birds and a Plucking

It’s been a while since I last had anything to post about on my paper route. Of late my walk around the block has been lacking in anything adventurous… but now I have two things to report!

First, one of my customers has a robin’s nest tucked into the corner of the overhang above his front door where the mailbox is located. Every day I’m dive-bombed by an anxious male robin when I try to deliver the paper. Who knew male robins could be so aggressive? I would never hurt it, but it flies so close to my head that all I would need to do is raise my hand and I could knock the silly thing out of the air.

In other news, they trimmed Nosehair!

Before

Before

After

After

I’m not sure if Nosehair is pleased with his freshly plucked proboscis… I, on the other hand, am considering a new nickname for my leafy friend. Any suggestions?


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Research successful

Well, I’m back from doing research for my novel in Kingston. I took this picture of the Inn I stayed in, at dusk, after I turned the lights on in the turret where my room was situated.

DSC00437

Turret

It was a long way up. 41 steps to be exact, not counting the stairs outside to get to the front door and the ladder to get to the top part of the turret.

DSC00376

But my biggest find in all of Kingston?

Can you find him?

Can you find him?

 


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Monarch and Milestone

I haven’t had anything interesting to report on my paper route lately, so I thought I’d share with you a picture I took last year. I’m quite proud of it, considering it was taken with a crappy cell phone on the spur of the moment.

Monarch[1]

In other news, I reached a new milestone in blogging today. Thanks to Franny Stevenson I now have 400 followers! Thanks Franny, and all my other wonderful followers for making this possible! 😀


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Happy Canada Day!

Canada Day

Today, all my fellow Canadians, enjoy a beer and a poutine (or a Pepsi and a Jos. Louis if you’re Quebecois,) and know there will always be a Tim Horton’s just up the street.

Have a wonderful 146th Canada Day!


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Ah, a weekend to edit

As a writer I need time to myself. I need the opportunity to be able to think and imagine without distraction. I have to say it’s even more difficult now that I’m working on the second draft of my novel; the writing, when I was fully into it, could sometimes be done even amidst the chaos that is my children.

Every other weekend, typically, I have this time alone when the children are with their father. What I think annoys me the most is that it takes me a day to simply wind down from the twelve previous days I’ve had to take care of them. They leave on Friday night, but it’s usually not until sometime late Saturday afternoon that I am in a state of mind where I can sit and concentrate.

So why am I not working on it now? I’m coming up to a major edit and this post has been bothering me, niggling in my brain to be written.  This is me, getting it over and done with. At least that’s what I’m telling myself.

I also wanted to say that, writing a novel makes me feel a bit like this guy:

The Eye, by David Altmejd

The Eye, by David Altmejd

Disturbing, isn’t he? I found him at the Museum of Fine Arts in Montreal two weekends ago. The hands are my characters, wrapping themselves around my brain and wanting to get out; the hole is the feeling I have as I pour forth my entire being into my writing, onto the pages.

I hope my writing talent is worthy of such sentiment. If it is, I’m sure to be successful.


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Adventures on my Paper Route – Warm and Fuzzy

It was so warm today when I delivered my papers I began to wonder if my vision was blurring.

Fluffs (1)

Looking closely at this picture however, I can tell that it was due to the minute filaments of the tree I was looking at. I thought it was kinda neat.

Fluff2

Just in case you’re wondering what’s going on in the saga of Nosehair , no news has been good news. It does seem that he was as surprised as I was to discover it was actually two of his neighbours that were cut down three weeks ago.

gasp2

Gasp!!!