Life in progress

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Writing, But Not Writing

You have to love it when your utility company sends the most gorgeous man on the planet over to your house to upgrade your internet speed. Needless to say, as my day has progressed it has gotten better.

I’m currently procrastinating over picking up my manuscript. Oohh, a muffin!

Despite what I said yesterday – wait, was it yesterday? I’ll go check. No, it was Thursday, in this blog post. Anyway, despite what I said in Thursday’s post, procrastinating when it means completely putting off something is detrimental. Allowing my mind to wander whilst doing something mindless, as a break from hard work is nothing like what I’m doing now.

It brings to mind an excellent article that my new blogging friend, Angie, shared with me in my comments. In it, she cites the well proven fact that sometimes we procrastinate for fear of failure. What if we finish what we’re doing (such as writing a manuscript) just to have it rejected? It’s silly, really, to think that way. Why begin something in the first place if you’re never going to finish it?

I wrote the novel I’m editing as a NaNoWriMo project in 2011. When I started it, I was writing it for myself. I needed a distraction from the chaos that was my life at the time. Had I not written it, I probably wouldn’t be here right now – I’m sure I’d be in a padded cell, plucking my arm hairs out one at a time and tying them into the rope which would become my escape – one way or another. By the time I finished my manuscript, I knew I wanted to share it with the world. And so, editing began… and continues. It’s a huge project and is going to take many more hours of work before I’ll even allow it into the hands of beta readers.

So why am I typing a WordPress post instead of working on the manuscript I can’t wait to get out? I’m up for suggestions.

You can find Angie’s article here: http://familyanswersfast.wordpress.com/tag/procrastination/ Fascinating stuff.

Off to work. Really. And I’m not going to stare off into space and think about that telephone installation guy AT ALL.


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SoCS (Stream of Consciousness Saturday) – An Amount

When one has nothing to write, where does one start? Is it with a single word? Or a sentence?

I like to start with a statement, or a question. Once I have that first sentence however, I can either fly like an eagle or sink like a stone, the latter of which I feel as though I’m doing now. But I’ll plow on, because this whole SoCS thing was my idea to start with, and so I’d better show the world that it CAN be done, even when I’m not in the mood to write.

It’s 10am on the Saturday of my day off and the day is already screwed up. The person who delivers the newspaper to me, so I can take them to the individual houses of the people who subscribe to them only showed up this morning with half my papers. They’re supposed to be delivered to the customer by 9am. So I got up from my potential lovely lay-in for nothing. It’s freezing drizzle outside right now, I haven’t had a coffee yet and I have to stay in all afternoon to wait for my internet service provider to come over to fix something (proactively) that’s not broken. Hopefully I’ll get some editing done in there.

So now that I’ve spent my Saturday bitching about my Saturday. I think I’ll end there, put a cap on this, and say, what a waste of blank screen this was.

Can’t win ’em all I guess. At least I wrote something, right?

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Please join in! To see the prompt for this week for “Stream of Consciousness Saturday” click here: https://lindaghill.wordpress.com/2014/03/07/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-march-814/

The rules:

1. Your post must be stream of consciousness writing, meaning no editing, (typos can be fixed) and minimal planning on what you’re going to write.

2. Your post can be as long or as short as you want it to be. One sentence – one thousand words. Fact, fiction, poetry – it doesn’t matter. Just let the words carry you along until you’re ready to stop.

3. There will be a prompt every week. I will post the prompt here on my blog on Friday, along with a reminder for you to join in. The prompt will be one random thing, but it will not be a subject. For instance, I will not say “Write about dogs”; the prompt will be more like, “Make your first sentence a question,” or “Begin with the word ‘The’.”

4. Ping back! It’s important, so that I and other people will come and read your post! The way to ping back, is to just copy and paste the URL of my post somewhere on your post. Then your URL will show up in my comments, for everyone to see. For example, in your post you can copy and past the following: “This post is part of SoCS: (https://lindaghill.wordpress.com/2014/03/01/socs-stream-of-consiousness-saturday-the-rules/)” Also, you can come here and link your post in the comments. The most recent comments will be found at the top.

5. Read at least one other person’s blog who has pinged back their post. If you’re the first person to ping back, you can check back later, or go to the previous week, by following my category, “Stream of Consciousness Saturday,” which you’ll find right below the “Like” button on my post.

6. Copy and paste the rules (if you’d like to) in your post. The more people who join in, the more new bloggers you’ll meet and the bigger your community will get!

7. Have fun!


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A Blogger’s World

Have you ever considered that, when you started your blog you created a world for others to visit? You gave it an atmosphere with your chosen theme, with your words and your pictures you provide it with a feeling – is it like coming home? Or does it give the sensation of exploring a strange planet? Is it exotic, or down-to-earth? Has it changed since you began?

I started my blog, naively perhaps, with the intention to showcase my work for potential employers. I was going to write only long, well-thought-out articles and people would visit and “like” my posts and comment with words like, “Nice article,” or “Good job.” At first I hung on every click of the like button, and sponged up the positive feedback like it was a clear spring in the middle of the desert. In short, I had no clue what a blog could be.

It took me a while, but I started to make friends of the visitors to what I thought of as my little room. I found out that, even better than “likes” and faint praise, there could be actual discussion in them thar comment boxes. The “Nice work!”s transmuted from overgrown paths leading into my blog to highways full of people who related to what I was saying. And as they came back again and again, and we got to know each other, my room expanded. It evolved. It became a world.

With the expansion of my world, so too have my ideals. I appreciate this community so much that I want others to share in it. Rather than long, dry articles, I revel in the fact that I’m able to help people connect through their relatable experiences. I realised the potential that WordPress holds when I joined Dylan Dailey for “Every Damn Day December,” where I discovered how pingbacks work and how participating in a prompt can aid in the discovery of other bloggers – and in being discovered.

I launched “Just Jot it January” in a bid to keep the connections going between other bloggers, and I recently started “Stream of Consciousness Saturday” (SoCS) in order to keep the ball rolling.

It seems the more I perpetuate these connections, the more my blog evolves. A comment regarding the crappy little posts that I’ve been writing of late which seem more to bring in “likes” and less content, caused me to examine my reasons for blogging. Sure, I’ve given up the lofty goal of always writing awesome posts – but in doing so I’ve come to do what is more authentically me, and part of my nature, and that is to help people. I’ve realised in the last year that I don’t have the ability to write, much less come up with, long yet entertaining articles on a daily basis. I’m a novelist. For now, that’s what I want to concentrate on. That’s not to say my crappy little posts aren’t beneficial to me – I pay attention to views to see which opening lines get people’s attention, which is something I’ve been advised is essential to selling a novel.

By writing short posts that encourage involvement from my audience, I hope people are discovering one another. All they have to do is look around themselves in my comments – a warm, caring community is that close.

Welcome to my world. Feel free, anytime, to talk amongst yourselves here.


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It’s For Your Own Good! A Rant

What are you striving for? Is it within your reach? Yes? Then go for it. You want to lose weight? Stop eating cupcakes. You want to write a novel? Get off Facebook and Twitter and spend more time writing. You want a better job? Make more of an effort to get one than bitching about the one you have.

Is what you want not within your reach? Then stop spending so much energy wanting it. You want to be taller? Too bad. You want to live on a yacht the size of an apartment building but you’re on welfare because you’re too lazy to work? Give it up. You want to be younger? Ain’t gonna happen.

I’m so tired of listening to people complain, who aren’t able to either live up to or define their limitations.

How did we end up being a society of whiners? Is it Facebook and that tempting sweet spot–the box asking us, “What’s on your mind?”–that taunts us to write whatever we’re thinking and share it with the world? Is it the message, “You can be anything you want to be,” that’s expanded people’s heads so that they barely fit on their pillows? “Dream big!” they say.

“Wake up!” I say.

Enjoy the life you are cut out for. Know your limitations! You’ll be much happier.

End rant.


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SoCS (Stream of Consiousness Saturday) – The Rules

For some reason, I always have a hard time coming up with a blog post on the weekends. So I’ve been doing something for the past month, (in case you’re new here–HI! by the way *waves*) called “Stream of Consciousness Saturday.”

I’ve decided to try to make it a “thing,” to see if people want to join in. By doing so, you can link your post back here, or to my post on any given Saturday, and other bloggers will be able to see it and read.

Here are the rules:

1. Your post must be stream of consciousness writing, meaning no editing, (typos can be fixed) and minimal planning on what you’re going to write.

2. Your post can be as long or as short as you want it to be. One sentence – one thousand words. Fact, fiction, poetry – it doesn’t matter. Just let the words carry you along until you’re ready to stop.

3. There will be a prompt every week. I will post the prompt here on my blog on Friday, along with a reminder for you to join in. The prompt will be one random thing, but it will not be a subject. For instance, I will not say “Write about dogs”; the prompt will be more like, “Make your first sentence a question,” or “Begin with the word ‘The’.”

4. Ping back! It’s important, so that I and other people will come and read your post! The way to ping back, is to just copy and paste the URL of my post somewhere on your post. Then your URL will show up in my comments, for everyone to see. For example, in your post you can copy and past the following: “This post is part of SoCS: (https://lindaghill.wordpress.com/2014/03/01/socs-stream-of-consiousness-saturday-the-rules/)” Also, you can come here and link your post in the comments. The most recent comments will be found at the top.

5. Read at least one other person’s blog who has pinged back their post. If you’re the first person to ping back, you can check back later, or go to the previous week, by following my category, “Stream of Consciousness Saturday,” which you’ll find right below the “Like” button on my post.

6. Copy and paste the rules (if you’d like to) in your post. The more people who join in, the more new bloggers you’ll meet and the bigger your community will get!

7. Have fun!

I’ll put the prompt in the title of my Saturday post every week in case you miss my Friday reminder post.

This week, the prompt will be: Start with a verb. Begin your Saturday post with any verb – make it the first word.

I’m looking forward to seeing who joins in. Let’s have fun with this!


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Making Everyone Happy

They say you can’t make everyone happy. But what if you can’t help trying?

I’m okay to a point. I can say no to people if I feel that what I’m saying no to is in most people’s best interests. Or if what they’re asking for is impossible. Take Alex, my youngest son, for instance. He asks me to take him to the toy store a minimum of ten times a day, every weekend. I tell him I don’t have the money to buy him a video game every weekend and I stick to it… mostly. On average he somehow ends up with about six a year.

On Friday my mother moved into a retirement home. She is of course not happy – I’m told that it’s rare anyone is, for the first little while. If she lives alone it will be up to me to get her groceries, take her to her appointments, make sure she’s safe and healthy, and all this from the other end of town. Granted, it’s not a big town. But when I’m faced with dragging a kid around who may or may not be hooked up to a feeding pump and leaving my Autistic son, Chris, at home alone for an indeterminate period of time, it is a big deal for me.

Having her in the home where she can be supervised 24/7 is a huge worry off my shoulders, both because I know she’s safe and I know she’s eating well. And yet I can’t stop thinking, What’s one more thing? I can handle it… make her happy and let her live alone.

How do I convince myself that I matter in all this? I have to stay strong.


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I Don’t Want to Intimidate You, but…

Do you remember how you felt when you started on WordPress? If you’re fairly new here, I would imagine it’s pretty fresh in your mind. Even I consider myself a bit of a newb, but after just a little more than a year I’ve come to feel comfortable here; I’ve found a great community, some wonderful friends, and plenty of people who I can joke around with.

What stands out most in my mind from when I started, however, is how intimidated I felt when I stumbled across a popular blog and I wanted to comment. Should I? They seem like such a tight bunch of people, bantering about things they’ve learned about one another…

So I was considering this, and I wondered if people who are just starting out feel that way when they stop by to read my blog.

In light of my pondering, I decided to change my comment box prompt from “Leave a comment” to what it is now.

How do you make newcomers feel welcome? How do you encourage them to join in the discussion?


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Awareness

Child abuse is a subject that keeps coming up around me of late, and not only because I’ve recently re-released my semi-biographical story, “Boy Series – One through…” A few minutes ago a glimpsed on Facebook a photo which made me want to throw up. I refuse to describe it – it’s one of those things that once seen cannot be unseen, and I’m sure I will have nightmares because of it. It’s worse in my mind than anything I could have imagined by myself, and in many ways, so is my series.

I’ve made the decision for a few reasons, to reveal the man behind the story. It’s not a big secret, and I don’t claim to be the one-and-only person to know… but I think having all the information that I’ve researched in one place will make the true story that much more interesting. I’ve been working, therefore, to compile links to interviews and decide what of his work might be most relevant to the story of his life. Strangely, something he said in one of the interviews I read last night cemented the decision in my mind to do this – it was almost as though I received a sign to say that it’s okay to go ahead.

The excerpt from the interview spoke of a song that he wrote about the tragedy of war. He has written several. He said that, (paraphrased) although there is little we can do about it, just spreading awareness that it exists and what it is like for those who are a part of it, whether it is their own decision to be or not, might cause someone to act differently.

And so I believe it is the same for my story of abuse. The more we are aware that it happens, even in our own neighbourhoods, the more we may look for the signs. Though we may not be able to help all of the children everywhere who suffer, if we can be kind to a child who we think may be abused, it might mean the world to that one child.

To Nav, John, Willow, and to all the people who had a hard time reading my series, I thank you for your perseverance. It was as heartbreaking to write as it is to read, just as it was for me to hear of it originally. I hope you’ll all stick around to learn the truth; to see that the man who was the boy has done well for himself despite the odds, even though he still bears the scars of his own, wretched war.


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Missing the Magical Switch

Greater, more successful writers than myself (not a stretch) state that in order to be a writer one must dedicate one’s effort into writing: a writer must write. Here lies my conundrum.

I have no qualms over calling myself a writer. It’s what I do constantly – if I’m not physically typing on a keyboard or writing little notes, I’m composing something in my head with hopes that I’ll remember it.

But being a single mom, 80% responsible for two kids (meaning that I get to sleep 15% of the time and the other 5% is when their dad takes care of them) and having to be always within calling distance of my own mother, I don’t have time to write. What might take me three months more of full-time editing on my novel to render it publishable is, at the rate I’m going, bound to take me three years. Frustrated doesn’t begin to describe it.

I imagine there is, somewhere in the universe, a switch that can be flicked which could cause me to be able to stop merely calling myself a writer and become one. I realize that I cannot expect to ever take on a full-time job; my life is with my children, and taking care of them is apparently my job and mine alone. Would I want it any other way? Absolutely not.

Yet writing is also my life. I don’t live for my children – anyone who says they do, in my opinion, is in for a huge let-down when their kids leave home for good. I live for myself and I am a writer. I have a story that I feel needs to be told, of a world where I hope one day people will be able to escape, as I have. It’s inside me, it’s on my screen and it’s on paper, and all it wants is to be polished to a bright, shiny tale that many will love.

If only the magical switch to make it all come true wasn’t so far out of my reach.


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Seriously, I’m an Author in Real Life

There are reasons why unpublished authors don’t walk around telling people they’re writing a novel. First and foremost is the puzzled, glazed-over expression that immediately comes over the other person’s face, as they think to themselves, What kind of a flake am I talking to? Then quickly on the heels of that comes the hasty change-of-subject or the hands-behind-the-back stroll-away as they whistle and hope the author doesn’t follow them all the way home.

But it comes to something when an novelist’s family members don’t even take him/her seriously.

Are you a novelist? Do you ever hear your significant other say, over the phone, thinking you’re not listening, “Oh yeah, it’s just a hobby,” regarding your writing? Does the person supposedly looking after your kids allow them to come and ask you questions while you’re trying to work? Do people wander in to ask you if you’d like coffee while you’re trying to write?

It’s said that marketing a book is harder than writing, but on some days I seriously wonder. It takes a great deal of concentration to write something as complicated as a novel. There are many things to keep track of, characters to write and to get into, believe it or not. Getting into a character’s head so that his or her voice comes through well takes time.

So if you walk in on a working author to ask if he/she wants a cup of coffee (the answer is no) and he/she turns to you slowly and asks you in return if you’d care to have your fingernails removed with a screwdriver, chances are the author is in the middle of a torture scene and it has nothing to do with you. Still, back away with your hands behind your back and try to remember next time, IT’S NOT JUST A HOBBY!

I’M AN AUTHOR – IN REAL LIFE!

End rant.