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Made You Look!

Now that I have your attention, let’s conduct an experiment together!

Since I wrote my last article on how to get and keep followers on WordPress, I’ve been thinking a lot about what really gets a reader’s attention. Part of my musings are in light of a comment I received that many blogs attract their audience by being “acerbic, critical, cynical,” (thank you bethbyrnes) but I think that’s really only the half of it. Opinionated Man, for example, gets his following from not only writing excellent, easy to read posts, but he keeps his following by being friendly and generous with his advice. Despite what he might say about not expecting anyone to re-visit his sites here and at HarsH ReaLiTy, we do.

But what really grabs people’s attention in the first place? A little of it is site design (and that can work both ways – I rarely stay on a page that takes more than twenty seconds to load) but most of it is what immediately stands out – the post title and opening lines. Those are what people see in their reader, after all.

What sort of content attracts us? Certainly something that promises to be helpful. But human nature dictates most of what we will click on. These are the three things I narrowed it down to:

Kittens, car crashes, and nudity.

Sex has been used in advertising for around a century, according to Wikipedia. It’s almost everywhere, whether overt or subliminal. From experience I can say that erotica gets noticed.

Car crashes: rubbernecking is the number one reason for slow-downs on the highway. In the blogging world I would equate an auto accident to just about any sort of bad news that makes me think to myself, “It could happen to anyone, and that’s a scary thing,” or “I’d never do that! What were they thinking?!?” If you’re into that sort of thing–talking about the news, or just relating a story about what happened to yourself or someone you know (which is something I often do)–then you’ll probably find you received a fair bit of attention for it.

Kittens, as well as puppies and bunnies of course, are what the internet was made for, wasn’t it? 😉

I’m sure there are many more examples of things which gain plenty of attention: giveaways and contests; awards; rants; articles that deliberately make people angry or raise their eyebrows … care to add to the list?

Here’s your part in the experiment: I want you (yes, I’m looking at you) to write below in the comments, the title of your most popular post other than your about page. What was your opening sentence? Heck, go ahead and post a link to it. Let’s see what really gets the most attention, shall we?

This might be something we can all learn from! 😀

Originally posted at A Good Blog Is Hard To Find Apologies if this is a repeat post.


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Listen Up, WordPress! How to Get and Keep Followers

Originally posted at A Good Blog Is Hard To Find Apologies if this is a repeat post.

I consider myself a fairly observant person. I’m certainly aware of what works and what doesn’t, most of the time. It’s taken me a year on WordPress however, to figure out a few things concerning how to go about getting followers, and how to keep them engaged.

Some of my recent realisations came about as a result of Opinionated Man’s posts and the comments we’ve shared between us, and also because of my struggle to get people to read and follow my fiction blog. It’s here: http://lindaghillfiction.wordpress.com/ by the way, in case you’re interested.

I think half the key to building a following on WordPress is in the comments themselves. Commenting will let people know you’re invested in what you write, and that you care what people think about what you write. It’s what separates your blog from other media – newspapers and the like – which give little chance to allow the reader to express his or her thoughts on the topic. So what is the other half?

This is where I’ve picked up what I think is the problem I’m having with my fiction blog. It’s the content. Not that my fiction is necessarily bad, mind you, (go to http://lindaghillfiction.wordpress.com/ to decide for yourself) but unless you’re looking to read fiction, you’re not going to look up that particular blog.

I was advised when I first began at WordPress to decide on a theme for my blog. I started out, nevertheless, with a mish-mash of parenting, articles about life in general, as well as fiction and poetry. I didn’t notice much of a difference in who followed my blog after I started my fiction blog (at http://lindaghillfiction.wordpress.com/ ), but even though I let people know it existed, people rarely visited it. The realisation I’ve come to is that my fiction is probably not going to change anyone’s life.

When I write about the trials and tribulations of parenting, particularly two special needs children, people want to know what I’ve learned. When I talk about being part of the sandwich generation, people out there can relate. My readers come to me because they’re hoping to share something. They’re hoping they may be able to offer suggestions (the comments again) or they’re looking to find a fellow sufferer in me, to possibly allow themselves to feel less alone.

My point in all this is, when I blog, I have an audience. Who my audience is will depend on what I write. If I blog about something no one can relate to, I can’t expect to have anyone follow me; I can’t expect comments, and comments are what keep people engaged.

My fiction blog? It’s another kettle of fish altogether. Fiction, without a cover blurb, is an unknown entity until people begin to read it. On top of that, I probably could have chosen a better title. I’ve learned that a blog’s moniker can seriously narrow an audience. A title like “Dark Fiction of the Occult” (not mine) isn’t going to catch the attention of people looking for chicklit. The title on my blog doesn’t say anything about fiction whatsoever. I’m currently in the middle of posting a series (which is really great – you should go read it at http://lindaghillfiction.wordpress.com/ ) but as soon as it’s finished I will perform a complete revamp. As it is, it could easily be mistaken as a foodie site.

Go ahead and learn from my mistake. I’m humble enough. But most of all encourage comments and write in a way that relates to your audience. If you want followers, don’t talk about yourself in a way that narrows your post so much that it can only possibly relate to you.

WordPress is a wonderful, interactive site if you want it to be. If you want followers, give them something they want to follow – and for goodness sakes, follow them back and comment on their sites too!

(Note: All mentions of my fiction blog in this post are strictly in the interest of humour. In no way was this post written in order to promote http://lindaghillfiction.wordpress.com/ . Thank you for reading.)

Linda


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Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Fe1/14

Someone, not that long ago, asked me what the difference is between blogging and journaling. I had to think about it. I love blogging because it allows me to put in black and white my thoughts, my feelings. I can show you (my followers) what I see, both by description and in pictures. I can share as much or as little of my life as I wish.

It’s like having a box – a full box – that only I can peek into. I can release the contents of my box or I can keep them hidden. There are things in my box which I will never tell – that’s one of the drawbacks of using my real name. But if I was to go undercover of a pseudonym, would I share then? Maybe. Maybe not. Sometimes I think about saying a certain thing and I’ll even sometimes type it. But then I’ll see it in the preview and I’ll cringe, or I’ll just shake my head and go back to remove it.

I think that’s the difference between blogging and journaling. If I was writing a journal I might leave it all in. All the dirt, the stuff that makes me red in the face and the things that I don’t want my friends and family to read. Whether it’s personal to me or personal to them, I don’t want them to know everything I’m thinking. Who would?

I also love my audience. Not necessarily because I want to be read, but because I enjoy the interaction. I don’t blog for likes (I know I’ve mentioned this before, but this is stream of consciousness – shoot me), I blog for our shared experience. I write to know I’m not alone and to let others know they’re not alone in our experiences of life.

We’ve all felt cold, we’ve all known pain, whether it be physical or emotional – we all know what water tastes like. Can we explain it all? No. But if enough words go out there, maybe, just maybe, a sentence or two will connect with us, and so we can say to one another: Yes! That’s exactly it!

That’s the best feeling of all.

I’m glad I blog. I have a journal as well on LiveJournal, which only about three people read. It’s also fun. It’s more personal – but I don’t have to worry about anyone I know coming across it.

I love my followers here. I wouldn’t give them up – not even for a journal.

P.S. I’m not online today, but I’ll answer all your comments when I come back tomorrow night.

P.P.S. Don’t forget to read my fiction blog posts daily, at http://lindaghillfiction.wordpress.com/ . Thanks!


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JusJoJan 29 – Shit Happens

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When I came across this statement (above) on Facebook it made me think. And then it made me think some more.

My first reaction was to recognize that I say this all the time: Everything happens for a reason. And while I do believe somewhere deep inside that it does, I believe even more the two word statement, everything happens. The other saying I often use is, Shit happens and there’s nothing anybody can do about it, which is probably the more accurate of the two. I don’t say it often to anyone but myself however, since it’s not very consoling.

Saying everything happens for a reason is a way to make me feel like I’m in control of a situation I have no control over. By considering what happened, whatever it is, and going through everything that happened as a result can be comforting, especially if the results were in some way positive. And let’s face it – you can always find something positive in something awful if you look hard enough. While it may not make up for the bad thing that happened, it’s better than nothing.

I have to realize, in the end, that there are things that are beyond my control. Whether I look for the good in them or not, they happen. Am I lying to someone when I console them with the statement above? I don’t think so, not if I can help them to find a glimmer where there would otherwise be a lack of hope.

Whether or not everything happens for a reason, you can decide for yourself. But to me it seems that simply saying “Everything happens,” is freeing.  It takes the burden away of trying to control that which is out of my hands.

I’ll still look for silver linings, and I probably still won’t be telling people that shit happens and there’s nothing they can do about it. But I’ll be thinking it, now more than ever.

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1. It’s never too late to join in, since the “Jot it” part of JusJoJan means that anything you jot down, anywhere (it doesn’t have to be a post) counts as a “Jot.” If it makes it to WordPress that day, great! If it waits a week to get from the sticky note to your screen, no problem!
2. If you write a JusJoJan post on your blog, you can ping it back to the above link to make sure everyone participating knows where to find it.
3. Write anything!
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Now, Where Were We?

It must be incredibly frustrating to lose one’s memory. We’ve all been there. It’s like when you’re having a pleasant conversation with a friend and something happens to distract you, and when you turn back to continue talking, you can’t remember what you were discussing.

For my mother, at almost 84 years of age, it’s gone far beyond. It started with the memory, then progressed to logic. For instance, last weekend I came down the stairs to find her trying to drag Alex into the next room by the hand. When I asked her what she was doing, she said he’d been bugging the hell out of her, screaming in her ear but now she was trying to get him into the next room to hook him up to his feeding pump.

“It doesn’t matter what I do,” she said. “I try ignoring him, but whenever I walk away he follows me.”

“So, why are you trying to drag him?” I asked.

“Because when I ask him, he won’t come with me,” she answered. “He won’t do anything I ask him.”

“So just walk away… he’ll follow you…”

I waited for her to get it, but she didn’t–not even when she walked into the room where his feeding pump was, and he followed her.

Most of the time, all I can do is roll my eyes.

Now, however, she’s in the hospital with pneumonia. They’re talking about letting her out on Wednesday, but her memory has begun to get so bad that she can’t remember what day it is. Not a good combination when she has meds to take.

I’m going to have to seriously start looking into retirement homes, before I end up in the hospital, sick with stress. That I’m going to have to figure out a way to look after her is precisely why I wanted to have more than one child: I didn’t expect two of them would probably never be independent, let alone unable to help with my care when I get to my mother’s age. Government and community run home care is going to be an even worse state than it is now; I’m at the tail end of the baby boom, and resources and funds will surely be depleted.

Now, where was I? Oh yes. Memory. If I leave my mother on her own I’m afraid she’ll under- or over-medicate herself. Just last weekend, she forgot it was still Saturday and she took Sunday’s pills as well. She needs supervision. There’s no way Alex would let her get a moment’s rest here – so what do I do? I’m only one person. I can ask my friend, John, to help out, but he has a life and a job. I need a babysitter for my mother.

The sandwich generation strikes again.


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JusJoJan 26 – Asking for Help

I’m my own worst enemy in a few different ways, but none more than the fact that I have a hard time asking for help. Actually, let me be a little more specific: I’m okay asking for small favours, but if I think I might put anyone else out of their way, I usually do whatever it is that needs to be done myself.

I think this is a common problem with many people. For some it’s because they wish to be independent, and there’s nothing wrong with that – unless it gets to the point where they are stretching themselves too thin. Then there are the jobs to be done that are so complicated that it takes longer to explain how to do them than to do it ourselves. That, too, is an understandable reason not to ask for help.

Then there are people who are already stretched too thin, like me. When I think about asking someone else to help me, I tend to put myself in their shoes, which makes me ask myself, what if they were asking me to do this task? Being over-worked and overwhelmed already, I might think it a burden to be asked to do more. Consequently, many times I don’t ask for help.

I’m learning though. Since the father of my kids moved away, I’ve had an average of only one weekend out of every three without the kids. I do, however, have a very good friend who constantly offers to help me out, and most of the time I say yes. Although he says he doesn’t feel taken for granted, I still feel bad for not doing more for him in return. Again, there’s the ‘stretched-too-thin’ thing pulling me mentally if not physically in every direction.

I’d like to say a very public ‘thank you’ here to him, for all that he does for me. Thank you, John. I truly don’t know what I’d do without you. I know you say I should feel free to ask when I need help … know that I’m doing my best. And next time I stomp down the stairs in a very bitchy mood, know it’s only my own shortcomings – it’s not you, it’s me.

Back to addressing the rest of the people reading this.

I’m sure there are other people out there with problems asking for help. Do you try to overcome it? Have you succeeded? If so, how? I’d love some feedback on this.

Thanks.

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Post on your site, and join Just Jot it January. The rules are easy!

1. It’s never too late to join in, since the “Jot it” part of JusJoJan means that anything you jot down, anywhere (it doesn’t have to be a post) counts as a “Jot.” If it makes it to WordPress that day, great! If it waits a week to get from the sticky note to your screen, no problem!
2. If you write a JusJoJan post on your blog, you can ping it back to the above link to make sure everyone participating knows where to find it.
3. Write anything!
4. Have fun!


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JusJoJan 18 – Dodged a Bullet

It’s both a blessing and a curse having a child who enjoys going to the hospital. Obviously it’s nice not to have to fight with Alex every time he gets sick – he gets sick a lot. He enjoys the attention he gets there; he loves to charm nurses and doctors alike, and to him, it’s an adventure. The downside is, he’ll pretend to be sicker than he is and then beg me to take him to see a doctor. And what better way, at this time of year, to actually catch something nasty, than sitting for hours in an emergency waiting room?

Last night he almost managed to convince me that he’d aspirated food into his lungs again. He complained of pain in his chest, that he was feverish, (he wasn’t) and he was just plain miserable, the same as he was on Christmas Eve. I suspected he might have been exhibiting symptoms from the flu shot he received the day before yesterday, so I decided to call Telehealth Ontario, a service we have here so that we can talk to a nurse, so see if our symptoms are worth taking to the emergency room.

The nurse asked me all the protocol questions before she would talk to me about Alex – is he responsive, is he in pain etc etc. I answered as honestly as I could. Yes, he was complaining of chest pain, yes he was turning blue around his lips (I explained he always does whenever he’s upset – it’s due to his heart condition) but no, he doesn’t have a fever. Finally she asked me a question that was relevant. When did he last eat? It was three hours ago. She told me that if he’d aspirated, the symptoms of that would have shown up earlier.

So while I was relieved, she was telling me to call 911 and have an ambulance take him to the hospital because of his blueness and his chest pain.

Why didn’t I? It was the sparkle in his eye that told me all he really wanted to do was visit his beloved nurses. Today there’s not a thing wrong with him.


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Balance

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Life is all about focus. Some of us focus mostly on how we feel within ourselves. If we are unwell, it’s the only thing on our minds, unless there is something more important going on outside our illness. When we are well, some of us focus on what is closest in our lives – our family and friends, our homes – and some of us set our focus to our jobs, the weather, and even what is happening in the world. We’re all different that way.

We focus on what makes us happy, and depending on our circumstances, what makes us sad.

In other words, we tend to focus on things that stir our feelings. But what if we could focus on contentment? Balance: that which makes us feel nothing at all. That fine line in which everything is perfect. Nothing is particularly wrong, or right. Everything just… is. The middle ground.

It takes practice, but it can be done.


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JusJoJan 13 – What Blogging has Taught Me About Subtracting

From this:

With the door closed it was very quiet in the room apart from the sound of birds cooing. Herman went to the window in search of the source. A line of tall, thick trees at the perimeter of a vast lawn surrounded the house. Daffodils and tulips poked up through the soil as close to the house as she could see without putting her forehead against the glass. Beyond the garden a cobblestone walkway, wide enough for two people to stroll side by side wound it’s way past a patio sat off to the left. To the right was a small brick building with six or eight sides, she couldn’t really tell from her vantage point. It was made of the same colour brick as the house and had many small windows near the top. It looked to be about two stories high. A shed, or a coop perhaps. She turned her back to the window see if the room appeared as domestically normal as the garden. The walls were paneled with dark wood and the furniture was antique, upholstered with red velvet. Along one wall, to her right, either side of the door hung pictures of landscapes rather than family portraits. The wall opposite the door was covered in fragrantly old books. A computer with a the large flat screen perched upon a heavy ancient-looking desk was the only evidence that she hadn’t stepped back in time.

To this:

The sound of birds cooing beckoned Herman to the window in search of the source. A protective line of tall, thick pines stood like sentries around at the perimeter of a vast lawn, and daffodils and tulips poked their heads up through the soil as close to the house as she could see. Beyond the flower garden a cobblestone walkway, wide enough for two people to stroll side by side wound it’s way past a patio off to the left. To the right stood a small red brick building with six or eight sides and a dozen small windows near the top that reflected the gloomy April sky. A shed, or a coop perhaps. She turned her back on the peaceful scenery outside, to see if the room appeared as domestically serene as the garden. The dark paneled walls were adorned either with painted landscapes or covered in bookshelves containing fragrantly old books, lending the student in her warm comfort. A computer with a the large flat screen perched upon a heavy ancient-looking desk was the only evidence that she hadn’t stepped back in time.

Above is first the original NaNo 2011 version of the beginning of Chapter 5 of my manuscript, and second is what I edited it down to this morning. What do you think?

I see this as the result of two years writing experience and endless blog posts which have forced me to write to be publicly read. I see this as the result of two very wonderful people who have critiqued my work and told me in no uncertain terms that I have to put the character in my descriptions. (Thank you so much, Janice and Connie. Honest critique is the most valuable thing a writer can receive.)

In all, I see the second version as something that a publisher might actually look at. But that was one paragraph out of 524 pages.

Back to work!

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JusJoJan 8 – What Facebook Keeps Teaching Me

If Facebook is good for nothing else, it’s an excellent way to have motivational sayings come across your desk every once in a while. I’ve seen this one a few times before, but with my birthday coming up it made me think. Contemplate life, even.

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It’s so easy to fall into the psychological trap of mourning one’s youth. As the years pass we find we’re not able to do the same things we used to, both physically and mentally. We wake up in the morning with new aches and pains, we find gray hairs in places we never imagined would go gray, and skin wrinkling in places reserved in our minds only for someone’s grandparent. Yet one thing is true – if you’re reading this, you’re alive, no matter how old you are.

Whether or not you consider this a privilege, it is what it is. You are alive now and have the potential, for at least another little while, to affect someone else’s life. I may just be affecting yours as I write this.

I think if I could leave behind any legacy at all, it would be to remind people of this: our shared human experiences and our emotions know no cultural nor religious boundaries, and each and every one of us has the ability to affect another of our species. So be good to one another.

We’re all connected, if by nothing more than Facebook, and by nothing less than being human.

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