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Category Archives: advice


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Just Jot It January 8th – Honorable

I’ve been procrastinating long and hard on this post. It’s not that I don’t want to write it, it’s more that I want to get it right. But I want to get some sleep at some point tonight (I haven’t had a night off without kids since my last one in Japan, on November 29th) so here I am just writing it.

Honesty, honour (I managed to eke out one American spelling for the title; sorry Tasha, that’s the best I can do), and ethics, to me, are the most important qualities in a person. I’m no harder on anyone else on these points than I am on myself. I demand them of myself constantly. I come by it honestly enough.

The Golden Rule was drummed into me as a child to the extent that I’ve developed a love/hate relationship with it. Yes, it should be followed always, but it seems a no-brainer. While many people consider it a purely ethical teaching, I can see an equal amount of logic in it. Like Newton’s third law (every action has an equal and opposite reaction), “do unto others as you would have them do unto you” simply makes sense. I’ve begun to see it in action on a daily basis, now that I have a puppy in the house.

Alex is on a feeding pump at home for at least a few hours every day. The pump (which is like an IV pump) has a tube running through it which attaches to a valve in his stomach; it delivers his formula directly. There is about three feet of tubing between his belly and the machine, so if he walks away from the device, the tube sits on the floor. Alex is deathly afraid of the dog grabbing and pulling on the tube, so every time the pup comes near, he screams and pushes him away. The puppy, being a puppy, thinks this means he wants to wrestle. Which makes the situation so much worse than if he quietly held the dog at arm’s length until it got bored and walked away.

Golden Rule or Newton’s Law? Or both?

While my example doesn’t really have a lot to do with behaving ethically, honourably, or honestly, it’s a prime example of why we must react to and treat all humans and creatures as kindly as we can, with as much understanding as we are able to muster. Wouldn’t the world be so much better if puppies weren’t pushed away from enteral feeding devices? And we all just got along quietly and calmly?

The “Honorable” prompt is brought to you by Tasha at Corner Of Confessions. Please click on the link to visit her blog, and follow her if you aren’t already!

JJJ 2016

To find the rules for Just Jot It January, click here and join in today. It’s never too late! And don’t forget to ping back your January 8th post here!


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Don’t get fined for “free” use of photos on WordPress

Copyright infringement is a serious issue, and one we’re all, apparently, at risk of inadvertently committing here on WordPress. There’s so much more to free usage of Creative Commons material than meets the eye, and no one understands that better than author and blogger, D.G. Kaye.

In her article, she explains how it happened to her and what to look for in the fine print for what appears to be free-for-all-to-use images. You can read it  Listen Up – 5 Tips to Protect Yourself from Copyright Infringement by clicking this link.

Benefit from her experience before it happens to you!


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Writing vs. Parenting: A Handy Comparison

Everything is connected.

One of my favorite quotes comes from the illustrious Neil deGrasse Tyson:

We are part of this universe; we are in this universe, but perhaps more important than both of those facts, is that the universe is in us.

The underlying truth? The molecules, the bits and pieces that make you up, were present at the moment of the universe’s creation; they’ve just been rearranged millions of times over to cast you as the imperfect robot that you are. And that means, in a sort of beautiful way, that all things are connected. And if all the things are connected, that means all the things we do are connected.

Here, then, are 11 ways that writing is like parenting, and — more obviously — 11 ways in which they aren’t alike at all. Why 11? Why not just pick the top ten and go with those like a normal, order-conscious human?

Because this list goes to eleven.

 

Writing is like Parenting a Toddler

  1. You birth your creation, for all intents and purposes, out of sheer will and a bit of sweat.
  2. Either one is a good way to find out who you really are.
  3. Your creation will occasionally wake you up in the middle of the night for a bit of attention.
  4. You will find that your creation wanders into your thoughts without prompting at all hours of the day, regardless of whether you’re directly involved with it, or if it’s even around at the time.
  5. You will spend an inordinate amount of time cleaning up messes that your creation has made: dangling or unresolved plot lines, refrigerator empties onto the floor, characters behaving badly, toilet paper unspooled all over the house and watered with cranberry juice…
  6. Sometimes the best thing to do for your creation is to take it for a walk and get it some fresh air.
  7. Pretty much anybody can write a story or become a parent just by deciding they want to do it. Or sometimes even by accident.
  8. But writing a good story, much like raising a good kid, requires a heck of a lot more planning, thought, and hours than you can probably conceive of at the outset.
  9. Your story, like your toddler, will seem to have unexplainable mood swings all its own; you have to learn how to weather the storm.
  10. When it’s going well, you feel absolutely bulletproof.
  11. When it’s going poorly, you feel eaten by sharks.

Writing is not at all like Parenting a Toddler

  1. It’s pretty unlikely that any problem involving your child can be solved with any amount of ink or word processing power. In fact, adding ink to a situation involving your child is probably a recipe for disaster.
  2. Your story will never literally barf in your shoes.
  3. Or dunk your favorite tie in the toilet.
  4. Or paint with salsa on the carpet.
  5. Society is pretty forgiving to writers who drink. In a lot of cases, writers are almost expected to drink; it’s part of their craft. Parents, on the other hand…
  6. New parents get a free pass to show off pictures and talk about their kids at every opportunity. Nobody wants to see or hear about a writer’s unfinished story.
  7. If your story gets on your nerves, you can shut it down and forget about it entirely for a few days.
  8. Your story will only grow and improve with your active participation. Your kid will grow and learn things entirely on her own. (Usually the wrong things, if you’re not careful.)
  9. Your story probably won’t throw a tantrum in the toy aisle of the Target, earning you the sympathetic glances of fellow writers and the disapproving stares of non-writers.
  10. You only get to pick your kid’s name once.
  11. If you screw your story up, you can throw it out and rewrite it from scratch as many times as you want.

There you have it. A perfectly scientific comparison of two things that totally make sense together. Bear this information in mind when you’re deciding whether you would rather be a writer or a parent. Because you obviously can’t do both at the same time.


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One-Liner Wednesday – The Best Season

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Ten thousand flowers in spring, the moon in autumn, a cool breeze in summer, snow in winter. If your mind isn’t clouded by unnecessary things, this is the best season of your life.

~ Wu-men ~
Found here: http://cookdingskitchen.blogspot.co.il/2015/08/internal-martial-arts-explained.html

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Anyone who would like to try it out, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Have fun!


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#SoCS – Describable

This is a post I’ve been procrastinating on all day, because … there is nothing to describe. It is, of course, about the attacks on Paris. The attacks all over the world, but understandably it is Paris we relate to because if it can happen at a concert somewhere in the “civilized” Western world then it can happen in our own back yards. But that’s not where my mind is going. Where my mind is going is how do we stop it.

I’ve spent the day considering how a follower of Tao, as I am, would handle this and the only thing I can come up with is this: teach by example. We must teach our children tolerance. We must be tolerant. Human suffering goes on everywhere. Yes, some suffering is more … extensive? That’s not really the word I’m looking for. Prolonged. Yes, prolonged. But suffering is a human condition. And until we can teach our children that we are all equal, whether we are disabled, or have different languages, or colour of skin, the truth is we are all human and we all feel the same things… until we can teach our kids that THAT is what is important and not what we believe is out there in the cosmos, or what might have created us or guided another human being to write a book – until we can teach our children that what really matters is that whomever our neighbour is that they feel the same things we feel and dream of the same happiness we dream of, until THEN, there will be wars and intolerance and discontentedness and hurt and pain in the name of that which only matters within the confines of our own minds and our own homes.

All lives are precious. ALL of them. This is not indescribable. It does not defy description. It transcends it.

SoCS badge 2015Join in today: https://lindaghill.com/2015/11/13/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-nov-1415/ Stream of Consciousness Saturday is for everyone. 🙂


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NanoPoblano Day 9 – Please ignore this post

This is a post to say that I won’t be posting today. Please ignore this.

nanopoblano2015dark

https://rarasaur.wordpress.com/nanopoblano-2015/


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NanoPoblano Day 3 – Where am I?

Getting lost in Japan, as you know if you’ve been reading this blog for a while, is one of my favourite things to do. Knowing this even before I went there last December, I learned what I thought was a helpful phrase:

Koko desu ka? (ko-ko dess ka)

Where am I? Or, directly translated, means “where is here?” Since it is assumed when speaking in Japanese that you’re speaking about yourself, the “I” is not necessary. Makes sense so far, right? HA! I have had more strange looks asking this question than I got that time I told someone “I have woman” in French.* Ask a Japanese person “Koko desu ka?” and you will invariably be blessed with a facial expression that says, “Is this a trick question?” Perhaps it’s because people there don’t walk around carrying maps, though I seriously doubt it considering how difficult it is to find anything. Actually, the Japanese love maps. Probably because they can’t find anything.

Conclusion: Carry a GPS.

*In French, if you’re hungry, you say “J’ai faim” which directly translated means “I have hunger.” If you pronounce the word “faim” as “femme,” which means “woman,” people will look in your backpack.

Nano Poblano is fun! Check out some more posts at Rarasaur’s blog!


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#SoCS – Living

Living is really only part of what we do on this planet, isn’t it? When you think that most things (and if you ask some, they’ll say all things) we do affects something or someone else, our “living” goes beyond just existence. Our attitude has a lot to do with how we affect other people … and other things. Are things any less important than people? It depends. The rock you kick down the street because your bored and you’re walking (have you ever kicked a rock all the way home from school or a friend’s house? I used to do it all the time as a kid) may not seem like much of a big deal. But if you get mad and kick it and it breaks a window, your attitude has affected a person, not just a thing. Unless the window is attached to an abandoned house, in which case it probably won’t matter to anyone. But what if you kicked every stone out of someone’s gravel driveway? Okay, I’m pushing it here, aren’t I?

So I’m making up a new word. We don’t just “live,” we “attitude.” Like it or not, my new word is “attituding” as in “Stop attituding!” Feel free to use it any time. My treat.

(Half a point for making up a new word?) hehe

This deep yet rambling post has been brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click the link and join in today! https://lindaghill.com/2015/10/09/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-oct-1015/

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#SoCS – Expectations

Is it possible to write stream of consciousness style when there’s someone screaming in your ear, stealing away your focus? I’m about to find out.

“Never expect anything and you’ll never be disappointed.” it’s a phrase I live by. I had hoped – half expected – to get this weekend away, but my ex came down with some kind of a bug so here I am with a disgruntled kid who doesn’t want me to pay any attention to anything but him. I had a back-up plan – his older brother – but he’s sick too.

It’s funny. I spend so much energy attempting not to promise the kids anything until I’m positive it’s going to happen but I don’t always put it into practice myself. But it’s really the same thing, isn’t it? I allow them to hope by saying maybe, or wait and see, but I don’t allow them to expect anything, and so if it doesn’t happen, they’re not too disappointed. It’s good advice, no matter whether you’re doing it yourself or doing it for someone else. Yet I don’t know if I’m actually teaching them anything…

It’s particularly important for someone like my son who is Autistic not to have unexpected events happen. Or for plans to go awry. Although I find as he gets older (he’ll be 20 next month) he’s getting better with change – more able to accept it. Still, there are certain things that can not, in his mind, be tolerated. God forbid anything ever happens to his computer.

I like surprises. Good ones at least, and most of the bad ones I’m able to roll with. Then again, I try not to expect too much.

This full-circle ramble is brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click the link and join in today! https://lindaghill.com/2015/10/02/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-oct-315/

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On Publishing – The Highlights of a Masterclass

Yesterday I was lucky enough to be one of the fifty new authors who attended a Masterclass, presided over by Daniel Wells, owner and founder of Biblioasis, a publishing company which runs out of Windsor, Ontario, Canada. Advertised as a “Writer’s Studio Round Table,” the event was hosted at the Holiday Inn by the Kingston Writer’s Fest, in a room half filled with chairs lined up for the audience and a podium at the front. I learned a lot: here are the highlights.

Mr. Wells, Dan as he likes to be called, came off as personable and approachable. Indeed, he allowed for about half of the allotted time as a Q & A, the “Qs” coming from us, a subdued and awed crowd of 99% (traditionally) unpublished authors of various genres. Dan spoke about the role of a publisher in the relationship between writer and printer/flogger. He gave us tips on how to get noticed by people in his field of expertise. First, (and I had an idea of this) he told us that a whopping 90-odd percent of his writers were NOT people who sent in queries out of the blue. He explained that he found most of his authors via the literary magazines in which they’d been featured and via recommendations by the authors whose work he has already published. For me this put in perspective how important it is to get my work out there – really get my work out there, not just here on WordPress and other social media sites. Having said that, the second point he brought up that I want to mention here is the fact that a publisher does take into consideration how much networking an author does. A majority of a publisher’s work goes into promoting his books – no publisher in this age of networking and social media wants an author who will simply sit back and hope for the best. Dan strongly advised that we immerse ourselves in the communities for which we write. Get to know people, writers and readers alike, and gain contacts.

Dan spoke about self-publishing as well. He mentioned the “gatekeeper” theory that if a book is traditionally published it stands to be of better quality than if self-published. He said this isn’t necessarily true, but that what it comes down to is a matter of trust in the community at large. For instance, if he goes to a national paper and requests a review of one of his books, he’s much more likely to get it than, say, the guy down the street who paid to have his book published. (My example.) He also used this point to suggest that when we read reviews in our local newspapers, look to see who the publisher is. It’s a good gauge to see who is on the ball… not all publishers are created equal, nor will all of them go the extra mile to get an author the exposure he/she deserves.

The final point of note which surprised me to no end was the tally of books which had to be sold in order for a book to make the bestseller’s list in Canada. For some of us this is good – a fantastic label to have on the front cover – but for those of us wishing to quit our day jobs to become bestselling authors, it’s a bit of a disappointment. The number? 3,000-5,000 copies. That’s all it takes.

In all I walked away from Daniel Wells’ Masterclass with a renewed sense of enthusiasm. It was extremely informative and it gave me a few new ideas on how I want to proceed with my querying. In the meantime, I’m researching literary magazines. And hoping for the best.

For Biblioasis’s website, click here: http://biblioasis.com/

If you’re interested in literary magazine contests that are currently running (Fall 2015) click here: http://blog.magazine-awards.com/2015/09/22/your-guide-to-fall-2015-magazine-writing-contests/