Life in progress

Tag Archives: humour


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One-Liner Wednesday – Psych!

I haven’t left the cranberries in my fridge since Christmas dinner to conduct a science experiment. They’re there for a psychological experiment, to see which of my family members will get sick of seeing them there first and throw them away. On the other hand, maybe they’ll grow a brain and a spine and leave on their own. My money’s on the cranberries.

help-me

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If you would like to participate, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do,
you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our very cool badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

#1linerWeds badge by nearlywes.com

#1linerWeds badge by nearlywes.com


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One-Liner Wednesday – Rock is Dead, Yippie!

My new fridge magnet:

img_20170221_231027

rock is dead – long live paper and scissors

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If you would like to participate, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do,
you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our very cool badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

#1linerWeds badge by nearlywes.com

#1linerWeds badge by nearlywes.com


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One-Liner Wednesday – A Momentary Lapse of Reason

Whilst in the grip of apparent madness, I allowed Alex to take a picture of me:

madness

Linda G. and Winston Church

I’m the one on the left.

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If you would like to participate, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do,
you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our very cool badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

#1linerWeds badge by nearlywes.com

#1linerWeds badge by nearlywes.com


by 31 Comments

One-Liner Wednesday – To Pooh a Villain

I often come up with a line for something I’m writing — a novel, a story, a blog post — when I’m not near my computer, so I jot it down on my phone. However, my phone has this predictive text thing that remembers what I’ve written, and I don’t want it to remember any questionable words: you never know when you’re going to text someone the wrong thing by accident.

On this particular occasion, I wanted to write down a line that’s perfect for the villain of the novel I’m writing. With the change of a couple of letters, I was able to give my phone a good word to remember and still remember my badass villain’s line:

screenshot_2017-02-07-21-48-41

Being right gets me honey.

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If you would like to participate, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do,
you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our very cool badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

#1linerWeds badge by nearlywes.com

#1linerWeds badge by nearlywes.com


by 47 Comments

One-Liner Wednesday – Creepy or Comforting?

You wake up from a disturbing dream and go to the kitchen for a glass of milk; on the fridge you find this

nightmare

Creepy or comforting?

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If you would like to participate, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do,
you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our very cool badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

#1linerWeds badge by nearlywes.com

#1linerWeds badge by nearlywes.com


by 5 Comments

Just Jot It Jan 30 – History

Everyone knows the saying, Those who forget history are doomed to repeat it (not necessarily the exact quote – it’s too late at night to look it up).  When we hear it, it’s usually said in the context of the history of the world. Things like when Germany voted in Hitler… that sort of stuff.

But it’s true on a much smaller scale. We get it every time we learn something by experience. From falling in love with the wrong person, all the way down to walking into the corner of the damned bed frame every time we enter the spare bedroom. *rubs bruise* Hell, even Pavlov’s dog learned from what had happened before.

That’s just one direction though. I’ve been thinking about this for a while, and I’ve come up with a theory. (It’s probably not new, but if someone else has already thought of it, I’m not aware.) You’d better be sitting down for this one.

What if our whole world is some higher power’s history gone wrong for the umpteenth time? What if whoever built the pyramids went through all the same crap we’re going through, and all they lacked was something other than the pyramids themselves to prove they existed? What if… what if the best thing we have to prove we were here is plastic? That would make the pyramid people better than us! That would mean we’re a worse, more throw-away version, of someone stubbing their toe on the furniture than… than the dinosaurs!!

Yeah, I need more sleep.

compromise

 

Thanks go to KL Caley for our prompt today, “history.” Check out her blog here: https://new2writing.wordpress.com/about-me/

And don’t forget it’s still not to late to join in the Just Jot It January challenge! Click here for details: https://lindaghill.com/2017/01/29/jusjojan-daily-prompt-jan-29th17/


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Just Jot It Jan 24 – Elusive

“Any word you have to hunt for in a thesaurus is the wrong word.” ~ Stephen King

I used to agree with this wholeheartedly. I still do agree with the gist of it; if it’s not a word you regularly use in your everyday vocabulary, then you’re writing outside of your own voice. And your authorial voice is, arguably, the one thing people read you for. You as opposed to the thousands of other authors who write in the same genre, the same tropes over and over again.

But now? Now that I can’t remember my kids’ names half the time and I often get stuck on a word I know I know, but I just can’t spit it out? The thesaurus has become my favourite book. Can’t come up with that word I use all the time that means “thingamajig”? Look it up in the thesaurus and there it is. It’s a “doohickey”!

Sorry, Mr. King, but I can’t live without my thesaurus. And no, it’s not the wrong word. It’s just the word that went for a stroll. The one I can’t find. You know, the “elusive” one. Yeah, that’s the word.

compromise

Thanks to Evelyn of Eclectic Evelyn for today’s prompt word, “elusive.” You can find her latest post here: http://www.eclecticevelyn.com/welcome-snapchat-wordlesswednesday/

And an enormous thank you to Judy, the hostess with the mostess for the last few days. I can’t express how much I’ve appreciated her help. You can find Judy’s elusive post here: http://www.edwinasepisodes.com/jujojan-january-24th-elusive/ Let’s have a big round of applause for Judy!! 😀

And finally, here’s the daily post with today’s Just Jot It January prompt. Click and join in! https://lindaghill.com/2017/01/23/jusjojan-daily-prompt-jan-24th-elusive/


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Just Jot It Jan 19 – Rubbish?

I always used to think it was a myth — rubbish — that someone’s hair could turn grey overnight. But guess what? I looked in the mirror this afternoon and I’m almost positive my hair is greyer than it was yesterday. Or even this morning. Either everything has caught up with me, finally, or there’s something in my Pantene 2 in 1.

Don’t you just love the word “rubbish,” though? It sounds so much better when you call something inaccurate or that you don’t agree with rubbish rather than garbage. The English have such lovely curse words. It’s not even a curse… I looked in the online thesaurus to see what else I could call it and came up with some interesting words. “Whammy”? “Obloquy”? “Naughty words”? Oh, here we go, “expletive.”

Let’s go back to obloquy. Look that up and I get… “animadversion.” I HAVE to look that up. And it means… “blame.”

I blame the bloody rubbish!

Now that was satisfying.

jjj-2017

Thanks very much to Wendy for today’s prompt, “rubbish.” Please visit her post for today and say hi! You can find it here: https://waffle-with-wendy.blogspot.ca/2017/01/jusjojan-day-19-rubbish.html

And don’t forget, even if you haven’t been participating in Just Jot It January up ’til now, it’s not too late to start! Click here for details and to read the other amazing posts: https://lindaghill.com/2017/01/19/jusjojan-daily-prompt-jan-19th17/

 


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One-Liner Wednesday & #JusJoJan 18/17 Prompt – For Fun

Do you have this problem?

15965780_10208822502219404_472783683066921617_n

I’m trying to give up sexual innuendos… but it’s hard… so hard.

NOTE: If you participate in this prompt, you do not have to follow in this week’s potentially sticky theme.

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The rules for Just Jot It January are as follows:

1. It’s never too late to join in! Here, we run on the honour system; the “jot it” part of JusJoJan means that anything you jot down, anywhere (it doesn’t have to be a post, it can even be a grocery list) counts as a “Jot.” If it makes it to your blog that day, great! If it waits a week to get from a sticky note to your screen, no problem!

2. The prompts will be posted every day at 2am my time (GMT -5). You don’t have to follow the prompt word, but this will be where you leave your link for others to see. Make sure you link your post to the correct day’s prompt. There will be a post like this every day except Wednesday, when the prompt is simply my One-Liner Wednesday, and Saturday, when you’ll find the prompt on my usual Friday Reminder post for Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS).

2a. Since today is Wednesday, I challenge you to make your JusJoJan post a one-liner. If you don’t care to, or if you’ve already written your post, no problem. Remember, with One-Liner Wednesday you can write anything – it’s only a prompt to write one line, not necessarily to keep to the same theme as mine. The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

(i) Make it one sentence.

(ii) Make it either funny or inspirational.

(iii) Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

(iv) Have fun!

(v) Use our One-Liner Wednesday badge!

#1linerWeds badge by nearlywes.com

#1linerWeds badge by nearlywes.com

3. As long as your blog is on WordPress, you’ll be able to link via pingback. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL from the daily prompt post, and paste it anywhere in your post. Check to make sure your link shows up where you want it to, and go back occasionally to see other bloggers’ entries – the more you visit others, the more they’ll visit you! If you’re participating from another blogging host, just drop a link into the comment section. Note: The newest pingbacks and comments will be at the top.

4. Tag your post JusJoJan and/or #JusJoJan.

5. Write anything! Any length will do! It can even be a photo or a drawing – you’re going to title it, right? There’s your jot!

6. The prompts are here both to remind you and to inspire you to write. However, you don’t have to use the prompt word of the day. You can link any kind of jot back here. Even your shopping list. Note: If it’s 18+ content, please say so in a comment with your link.

7. If you’d like to, use the JusJoJan badge (above) in your post so that others can find your post more easily.

8. Have fun!

If you’d like to look ahead to see the upcoming prompt words, click this link: https://lindaghill.com/2016/12/31/just-jot-it-january-2017-rules/ You can always write your post ahead of time and schedule it to come out on the appropriate day.

jjj-2017


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Just Jot It Jan 17 – Complaint

Let’s see, what haven’t I complained about this year yet?

We had a snow day again today–actually, it was a freezing rain day–but I’ve already complained about those. Seems like a Tuesday thing.

Alex was so upset about not going to school today, he came into my room this morning and started smacking me because of the weather. Then, fifteen minutes later, I picked up the cat to stop him from going outside and he turned around and scratched me. And to top all that off, I was sitting on the couch about fifteen minutes after that, and I sneezed on the dog whilst reaching for the tissue box, so the dog pounced on me because I made him jump.

It’s been a rough day. But not my first this year. I’m sure I must have complained about one of those already, so I can’t do that again.

What else, let’s see… I didn’t go out today. I need to get out more. …aaand I’ve already complained about that.

Next!

I haven’t run out of wine yet, so I can’t complain about that. Oh, wait! I ran out of coffee!!! …but I found some more in the cupboard that I must have bought when it was on sale.

Nope! Sorry. Can’t think of anything new. I guess I’m going to just have to be happy, damn it!

jjj-2017

Thanks very much to our very own Willow for today’s prompt, “complaint.” You can visit Willow and read her own JusJoJan post here: https://willowdot21.wordpress.com/2017/01/17/just-jot-it-jauaryday-17-complaint/

And a very special thanks once again to Shan for hosting Just Jot It January for me! Let’s all give her a round of applause!! And make sure you visit and follow her at her blog here, where you’ll find her latest JusJoJan post: http://shanjeniahslovelychaos.com/lovely-chaos-blog/2017/1/16/i-am-penetrable-mindfulmonday-and-jusjojan-day-16-shanjeniahs-lovely-chaos

Don’t forget to check out all the other posts here, and see how you can join in too! https://lindaghill.com/2017/01/17/jusjojan-daily-prompt-jan-17th17/