I didn’t want to go to bed tonight without saying at least a broad thank you for all the congratulations on my blogaversary, and to all those who visited my fiction site and read the first installment of my story. I’ll be back tomorrow to say thank you in person… yes, I will be knocking at your door. đ
I’ve been away from the computer today because I was busy retrieving my mother from hospital after a five day stay with pneumonia. Trust me, pneumonia is not a nice thing to stay with. After that, I had to drag 124 newspapers through the snowbanks around my neighbourhood to get them delivered. The good news is (apart from my mum being well enough to come home) I got a picture of the same old house I posted a photo of last week, but at night.
Today is unofficially my one year blog anniversary!
I joined WordPress in July 2012, wrote one post and promptly forgot about my blog. Then, on January 30th of last year, I began what has grown to what you see here. I had no idea what to expect at first. I remember being both thrilled and confused when I received my first ‘like.’ Who could possibly like me? I thought. How would anyone even know I exist?
The more I explored my reader and found people with similar interests, the more I learned. And then one day I took a chance. I made a joke in a comment on someone else’s blog. He was fairly new at the game as well and, as it turned out, he seemed as amazed as I was at how many people had noticed him. Granted, at the time I only had ten followers (he was one) and he had already 300. It won’t surprise some of you that that fellow blogger was the one and only Opinionated Man. I’m so grateful to him for teaching me so much about blogging, and especially how to form friendships here in our WordPress world. Thank you, Jason, my dear.
In celebration of my anniversary, I’m re-posting my first post. I’m putting it up on my fiction blog, since my foray into blogging started with my semi-fictional series about a boy: a poor boy who survives abuse and rises up to become a star.
While it’s not fireworks; nor anthems; nor parades, it means something to me. I hope you’ll go today, and each day to read it and to celebrate with me the life of a character I care so much about.
1. Itâs never too late to join in, since the âJot itâ part of JusJoJan means that anything you jot down, anywhere (it doesnât have to be a post) counts as a âJot.â If it makes it to WordPress that day, great! If it waits a week to get from the sticky note to your screen, no problem!
2. If you write a JusJoJan post on your blog, you can ping it back to the above link to make sure everyone participating knows where to find it.
3. Write anything!
4. Have fun!
When I came across this statement (above) on Facebook it made me think. And then it made me think some more.
My first reaction was to recognize that I say this all the time: Everything happens for a reason. And while I do believe somewhere deep inside that it does, I believe even more the two word statement, everything happens. The other saying I often use is, Shit happens and there’s nothing anybody can do about it, which is probably the more accurate of the two. I don’t say it often to anyone but myself however, since it’s not very consoling.
Saying everything happens for a reason is a way to make me feel like I’m in control of a situation I have no control over. By considering what happened, whatever it is, and going through everything that happened as a result can be comforting, especially if the results were in some way positive. And let’s face it – you can always find something positive in something awful if you look hard enough. While it may not make up for the bad thing that happened, it’s better than nothing.
I have to realize, in the end, that there are things that are beyond my control. Whether I look for the good in them or not, they happen. Am I lying to someone when I console them with the statement above? I don’t think so, not if I can help them to find a glimmer where there would otherwise be a lack of hope.
Whether or not everything happens for a reason, you can decide for yourself. But to me it seems that simply saying “Everything happens,” is freeing. It takes the burden away of trying to control that which is out of my hands.
I’ll still look for silver linings, and I probably still won’t be telling people that shit happens and there’s nothing they can do about it. But I’ll be thinking it, now more than ever.
1. Itâs never too late to join in, since the âJot itâ part of JusJoJan means that anything you jot down, anywhere (it doesnât have to be a post) counts as a âJot.â If it makes it to WordPress that day, great! If it waits a week to get from the sticky note to your screen, no problem!
2. If you write a JusJoJan post on your blog, you can ping it back to the above link to make sure everyone participating knows where to find it.
3. Write anything!
4. Have fun!
I’m really amazed at how these turned out. The colour seems to depend on how much light is in the frame when I take the shot. Taken with my LG Smart Phone, through the window; these are basically pictures of where I was standing when I took the photo the other night of the icicles on my house. Taken tonight:
I came across an article today which drives home the importance of editing and putting out one’s absolute best work when self-publishing. I would have re-blogged, but that wasn’t an option.
This: http://terribleminds.com/ramble/2014/01/28/follow-up-on-self-publishing-readers-are-not-good-gatekeepers/ is the article, by Chuck Wendig. In it, he explains how self-publishing is becoming a decent and viable option to traditional means, and how that could change if self-published authors present sub-par efforts to the reading public. It’s an excellent article. You should read it, even if you’re not an author.
Before I started writing poetry, I hated reading it. Half the time I found it boring, and the other half I simply didn’t ‘get.’ It was unexciting and confusing. When I came across it in the middle of a novel (Lord of the Rings is a perfect example) I skipped over it or skimmed it.
What I realized, however, the first time I wrote a poem, was that it’s a way of drawing a mental image on paper. Unlike fiction, in poetry anything goes and no one is going to question whether or not a heart can sing, or a colour can have a scent. Good poetry can connect people on a deep level: through senses.
In my experience with poetry since I started to write it, I’ve never managed to accomplish writing in any of the dozens if not hundreds of forms, other than a couple of haiku. The idea of following a rhyming scheme or a particular metre hurts my brain in ways that cease to make the writing of a poem pleasant. Occasionally I’ll write something that actually rhymes, and I do try to keep to some type of rhythm – mostly I’m scribbling to the beat of my own drummer – but the importance, to me, is getting the mood and the sensation across to my reader.
There are people out there who won’t read free verse poetry; some even believe that it’s hack writing, and turn their nose up at it. There are those who will read it and enjoy it, but never practice writing it.
I’ve learned that poetry, like music, is a universal. Well written, it can convey the human condition in ways that no other art form can. It speaks to our emotions, our senses, and connects our life experiences.
I’d like to know what you think: what is most important to you? What is your criteria for reading poetry, or for writing it? Is it the feeling, or making sure it rhymes? When you come across it in the middle of a novel, do you skip it, or do you read it and re-read it to get the full meaning?
Expound at will, and feel free to illustrate your thoughts in poetry, in the comments! Or just tell it like you see it. I want to hear from you!
1. Itâs never too late to join in, since the âJot itâ part of JusJoJan means that anything you jot down, anywhere (it doesnât have to be a post) counts as a âJot.â If it makes it to WordPress that day, great! If it waits a week to get from the sticky note to your screen, no problem!
2. If you write a JusJoJan post on your blog, you can ping it back to the above link to make sure everyone participating knows where to find it.
3. Write anything!
4. Have fun!
It must be incredibly frustrating to lose one’s memory. We’ve all been there. It’s like when you’re having a pleasant conversation with a friend and something happens to distract you, and when you turn back to continue talking, you can’t remember what you were discussing.
For my mother, at almost 84 years of age, it’s gone far beyond. It started with the memory, then progressed to logic. For instance, last weekend I came down the stairs to find her trying to drag Alex into the next room by the hand. When I asked her what she was doing, she said he’d been bugging the hell out of her, screaming in her ear but now she was trying to get him into the next room to hook him up to his feeding pump.
“It doesn’t matter what I do,” she said. “I try ignoring him, but whenever I walk away he follows me.”
“So, why are you trying to drag him?” I asked.
“Because when I ask him, he won’t come with me,” she answered. “He won’t do anything I ask him.”
“So just walk away… he’ll follow you…”
I waited for her to get it, but she didn’t–not even when she walked into the room where his feeding pump was, and he followed her.
Most of the time, all I can do is roll my eyes.
Now, however, she’s in the hospital with pneumonia. They’re talking about letting her out on Wednesday, but her memory has begun to get so bad that she can’t remember what day it is. Not a good combination when she has meds to take.
I’m going to have to seriously start looking into retirement homes, before I end up in the hospital, sick with stress. That I’m going to have to figure out a way to look after her is precisely why I wanted to have more than one child: I didn’t expect two of them would probably never be independent, let alone unable to help with my care when I get to my mother’s age. Government and community run home care is going to be an even worse state than it is now; I’m at the tail end of the baby boom, and resources and funds will surely be depleted.
Now, where was I? Oh yes. Memory. If I leave my mother on her own I’m afraid she’ll under- or over-medicate herself. Just last weekend, she forgot it was still Saturday and she took Sunday’s pills as well. She needs supervision. There’s no way Alex would let her get a moment’s rest here – so what do I do? I’m only one person. I can ask my friend, John, to help out, but he has a life and a job. I need a babysitter for my mother.
Why is Mickey Mouse Clubhouse playing on my television screen?
Because it’s a snow day.
Why is it a snow day?
Because the plows haven’t been out yet, so the buses aren’t running.
Why haven’t the plows been out? This is Canada!! We get snow!!!
Purportedly, the town I’m in hasn’t seen a real winter in five years. I haven’t been here that long, but I can say that out of three green Christmases I’ve experienced in my lifetime, two have been here in the last four years. So, okay. I get it. They probably didn’t budget for a real winter here this year.
But come on! The equipment is there – I’ve seen it. It came by yesterday. The staff has been hired … look out the window, city snow removal people! There are kids who really REALLY want to go to school! I can tell by the completely-absorbed-in-tv-and-computer-look on my little darling’s face that he can’t wait…
1. Itâs never too late to join in, since the âJot itâ part of JusJoJan means that anything you jot down, anywhere (it doesnât have to be a post) counts as a âJot.â If it makes it to WordPress that day, great! If it waits a week to get from the sticky note to your screen, no problem!
2. If you write a JusJoJan post on your blog, you can ping it back to the above link to make sure everyone participating knows where to find it.
3. Write anything!
4. Have fun!
I love photography. Good photography. I wish I had the talent I see in so many others.
But I’ve been told by one of the best I know that it’s okay to post my amateur attempts, so here is mine for today.
Alex and I were out shoveling at dusk tonight when I took this picture of my house. There’s just something about the quiet of this particular time of day, when it’s snowing softly as it was. There was very little wind and the air, though cold, was pleasant. Snow insulates: noise is muffled, and the blue of the sky reflects off the snow and creates a feeling of enclosure, as though the sky is resting upon the shoulders of the world.
I’m my own worst enemy in a few different ways, but none more than the fact that I have a hard time asking for help. Actually, let me be a little more specific: I’m okay asking for small favours, but if I think I might put anyone else out of their way, I usually do whatever it is that needs to be done myself.
I think this is a common problem with many people. For some it’s because they wish to be independent, and there’s nothing wrong with that – unless it gets to the point where they are stretching themselves too thin. Then there are the jobs to be done that are so complicated that it takes longer to explain how to do them than to do it ourselves. That, too, is an understandable reason not to ask for help.
Then there are people who are already stretched too thin, like me. When I think about asking someone else to help me, I tend to put myself in their shoes, which makes me ask myself, what if they were asking me to do this task? Being over-worked and overwhelmed already, I might think it a burden to be asked to do more. Consequently, many times I don’t ask for help.
I’m learning though. Since the father of my kids moved away, I’ve had an average of only one weekend out of every three without the kids. I do, however, have a very good friend who constantly offers to help me out, and most of the time I say yes. Although he says he doesn’t feel taken for granted, I still feel bad for not doing more for him in return. Again, there’s the ‘stretched-too-thin’ thing pulling me mentally if not physically in every direction.
I’d like to say a very public ‘thank you’ here to him, for all that he does for me. Thank you, John. I truly don’t know what I’d do without you. I know you say I should feel free to ask when I need help … know that I’m doing my best. And next time I stomp down the stairs in a very bitchy mood, know it’s only my own shortcomings – it’s not you, it’s me.
Back to addressing the rest of the people reading this.
I’m sure there are other people out there with problems asking for help. Do you try to overcome it? Have you succeeded? If so, how? I’d love some feedback on this.
1. Itâs never too late to join in, since the âJot itâ part of JusJoJan means that anything you jot down, anywhere (it doesnât have to be a post) counts as a âJot.â If it makes it to WordPress that day, great! If it waits a week to get from the sticky note to your screen, no problem!
2. If you write a JusJoJan post on your blog, you can ping it back to the above link to make sure everyone participating knows where to find it.
3. Write anything!
4. Have fun!
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