Life in progress

EDDD 8 – ‘Tis the Season

41 Comments

I have a love/hate relationship with Christmas. The decorations are great, the coming together of family, the big dinner (which I have to cook, but I don’t even mind that), the joy and the caring community – *needle screeches across record* – wait, what was that? Caring community? HA!

I live in what I expect is the politest little city in the world – eleven months a year. But on that twelfth month, you’d better watch out!

If I lived in Whoville and the people from here could be called Whovillians for most of the year, come December they can only be considered Whovillains. The claws come out in the shops and they’re in such a hurry, they’ll run you down with their cars as soon as look at you. Gone is the interminable wait at a four way stop for everyone to say, “No, you go first.” Now it’s every man, woman and child for themselves.

It seems Christmas brings out the worst in people when they’re out in public – it makes  you wonder if those same people are as thoughtless at home as well, or if they’re just taking out their frustrations on people they don’t care about. Either way, it’s the most horrible time of the year to have to go out shopping!

‘Tis the season to be surly, fa la la la la, la la la la. Sing with me!

Deck your friend and plow your neighbour, fa la la la la, la la la la

 
Blog post of December 8th, in honour of Every Damn Day December. Check it out!

Author: Linda G. Hill

There's a writer in here, clawing her way out.

41 thoughts on “EDDD 8 – ‘Tis the Season

  1. Pingback: Move Over Bitches, It’s Christmastime | A guest post at HarsH ReaLiTy | Hey Sweetheart, Get Me Rewrite!

  2. This won’t shock anyone who has read my blog, but I do all of my Christmas shopping online. http://lisarpetty.com/2013/12/11/the-most-social-time-of-a-hermits-year/

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  3. Pingback: Move Over Bitches, It’s Christmastime | HarsH ReaLiTy

  4. Merry Christmas to you and your family. Some people are decorating only outside for the holidays and leaving the inside filled with daily problems. We can only try to change them with more joyful spirit. Happy holydays !!!

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    • Merry Christmas to you and yours as well, Adrian! That’s a very nice way to think of it – decorating on the outside – and you are so right.

      Let’s keep smiling, shall we? 😀

      Thank you very much for your thoughtful comment 🙂

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  5. Pingback: Baddest Santa And His Minions Present: Whovillians In Town | Myas - A Tragic Lady But No TB

  6. I don’t know if I should laugh or grimace. Luckily I am spared at that since Japan does not really celebrate Christmas the same way as the rest of the world and yes I will be working on Christmas day since it’s just a regular day here.

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    • Oh, laughter is the only way to deal with it. Otherwise I’d be bashing people over the head, and that wouldn’t be good. haha

      I thought they did celebrate over there – I guess it’s just not as big? Or was I totally wrong and it’s not recognized at all?

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      • They have a sort of celebration but it is not considered holiday. As far as I can tell , Christmas felt more like valentines day here. Restaurant for couples , cake shop and kfc will be very busy 🙂

        Yes tis the season of JOY !! let’s just laugh it all about 🙂

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  7. When you said ‘on the twelfth month you better watch out’ I lost control and thought ‘ don’t waste your time and cry, you’d better watch out, do I have to tell you why, Whoville-ill-ans are all over town’ . Now if you want we can collaborate and write a Bad Santa Christmas song … 😀

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    • Haha! That’s great! How about you write it and I’ll sing it. hehe

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      • OK… so, that would make it an ‘Above And Beyond The Call Of Duty EvDaDaDec –

        AbAnBeThCaOfDuEvDaDaDec

        I’m on it! Stand by…

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        • I’ll be here, tapping my toe! 😀

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          • Ok… I didn’t expect to get it done so quickly but here it is. If you want to present it as a dual effort, I’ll be more than happy to reblog it. I wrote it with the traditional tune in mind but there’s one pert that breaks into a rap – beginning with Oooh, buhff… and then goes back, however you as the singer can interpret it any way you like, so let the creative juices flow!

            Whovillians Are Coming To Town

            You’d better watch out
            Don’t waste your time and cry
            He decked your friend cold
            Do I have to tell you why
            Who-ville-ill-ans are all over town

            Grasping lists in their fists
            They’ve checked them once or twice
            They’re getting there first
            No one plans to be nice
            Whoville-ill-ans are all over town

            They bare claws when they’re shopping
            They’re surly everyday
            Plow over your neighbor before your eyes
            Keep your children home and safe

            Oooooh! Buhff! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!
            No! Wait! That’s Mine! Boof! Oh!
            Here First! Were Not! Thwap! Crack!
            Please Wait! Get Lost! Thwap! Slap!

            Soooooo

            You’d better watch out
            Don’t waste the time to cry
            Christmas brings out their worst
            Damned if I can tell you why
            Whoville-ill-ans are all o-verrrr town!

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  8. Oh, man. I was on my way out for a holiday dinner with Cordelia when I read this post. Now I have that song stuck in in brain! I’m sure I’ll be singing it to the other drivers on my way to the restaurant (as opposed to what I usually “sing” to them, so that’s a good thing). Thanks for making me laugh today.

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  9. “‘Tis the season to be jolly…” *chubby navigator wears a Santa spandex bodysuit* *thinks he’s Rick Emmett of rock group Triumph* *prances about living room with careless abandon* *thinks upside down broom is microphone* *caterwauling of ear searing falsetto male voice* *crystal wine glasses shatter* *too much rum & eggnog* *major XMAS rock event reality TV* *gyroscopic instability in progress* *perilously close to XMAS turkey*

    NAV DOWN! NAV DOWN! XMAS emergency, MAYDAY, MAYDAY, over.

    After you, Madam Linda, and a merry online blogging Christmas to you.

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  10. It sounds as if the Grinch arrives in your town every December.

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  11. Yikes. I saw some of that when I worked retail in Florida. Why do people get so irritable around a holiday where the greeting includes ‘Merry’?

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    • I wish I knew, Charles.

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    • I remember I’d mentioned this somewhere, wish I could remember where, but a bunch of years back when I worked at Barkers, a department store no longer in business, our manager almost got crushed behind the doors he was opening. A mob of women had gathered outside the store for a sale we were having, these I described back then as wearing t-shirts with cigarette packs rolled in their sleeves and cigars hanging out of their mouths elbowing each other and grumbling, and as soon as he turned the key they shoved their way through . We were all standing back a safe distance but he had to literally jump out of the way or he would have been crushed and what remained of his body if it collapsed to the floor as opposed to being pinned behind the door would have been trampled. After that I think our security guard used to stand outside and make everyone stand back until the doors were unlocked and the manager in charge was safely out of the way.

      You get the picture…

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      • I’m near that area where a Wal-Mart employee was crushed during Black Friday a few years ago. I avoid the malls around this time of year. It’s too dangerous, which is a sad thing to say.

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        • It is sad we have become desperate Christmas shoppers who are no-holds-barred murderous toward our fellow man. RIP peace on earth. When these super sales come around, I stay at home myself. I value life, mine especially.

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          • I know a few people that thrive off this. Every year they tell me stories of getting the deals. One person was proud about knocking people out of her way to get a new plasma TV. I had fun at her expense by complaining about how one of the corners of the TV was cracked and it made it impossible to enjoy whatever was on. 🙂

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