How it should have gone:

Geek Squad Mike: How can I help you?

Me: I’ll start at the beginning, shall I? Here we go. In April, or maybe even March, I came in with my laptop because the battery was shutting the machine off at 70% power. You took it and you “fixed” it, but the battery was still fucked. So your manager promised me a new battery. Last week–yes, 7 or 8 months later–I finally got my new battery. I’d like to know if you can put it in for me. …oh wait! I can answer that question for you. NO! You can’t put my new battery in because you ordered the wrong one!

Geek Squad Mike: I have no idea which idiot ordered the wrong battery for you: here’s a new laptop, free of charge!

 

How it actually went:

Geek Squad Mike: How can I help you?

Me: I got the wrong battery.

Geek Squad Mike: What’s your phone number, I’ll look that up for you.

Ten minutes later:

Geek Squad Mike: (who has been joined by Geek Squad Dillon) We can order the new battery for you. I’ll leave you with Dillon: he knows more than I do. He’s the computer genius.

Me: Yes, he’s the computer genius who ordered the wrong battery for me last time.

 

For some reason, Geek Squad Dillon didn’t think that was funny.

True story.

 

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