Life in progress

Category Archives: Funny


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One-Liner Wednesday – Too Much Computer

You know you spend too much time on the computer when you wake up at 4:04 am and say to yourself, that can’t be good.

 

If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our lovely badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!


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#SoCS – Worm of the Ear that Bit Me

I used to always get rid of earworms by listening to the song that was bugging me. It worked most of the time. It’s kind of like drinking to get over a hangover, which is where the completely nonsensical title of this post came from. Use it at will. It would be nice if one of these silly things I come up with becomes popular. Someone came up with the word “earworm” after all.  I guess the next step to fame for something like that is when the little squiggly red line underneath it disappears because it’s been added to the dictionary.

Is “earworm” in the dictionary? Yes. I just checked. The popular meaning doesn’t have a date mentioned in Merriam-Webster online, but the other meaning–corn earworm–has been around since 1802. Check it out. https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/corn%20earworm

You learn something new every day.

Getting back to songs. With the number of earworms I get on any given day nowadays, I’d be looking up songs to get over them all day. The worm of the ear that bit me would be a constant occupation … I don’t know why I get so many songs stuck in my head. Maybe it’s my brain’s way of trying to get me to stop thinking of everything all the time, and concentrate on one, as annoying as it may be.

I mean seriously. I can hear a lawn mower while I type this–this is how bad it is–and my mind just went to “Mow, mow, mow your boat,” so now that’s stuck.

But I’ll get over it with another song.

Maybe one I write myself.

You’re welcome.

SoCS badge by Pamela, at https://achronicalofhope.com/

This highly annoying post is brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click the link to find all the other participating blogs in the comments, and join in yourself. It’s fun! https://lindaghill.com/2018/09/07/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-sept-8-18/


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One-Liner Wednesday – Limp Biscuit?

Seriously, Milk Bone?

(Photos depict a Milk Bone dog biscuit bent at about a quarter of the way to the end, giving it a rather interesting appearance.)

If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our lovely badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!


by 26 Comments

#SoCS – Noticed?

You might have noticed that I am, once again, late for my own party. Two weeks (has it been two, or three?) in a row I’ve posted a Stream of Consciousness Sunday.  Today’s excuse is all about editing. There’s a new anthology coming out in October that I’ll also (as well as copyediting it) have a story in. Paranormal romance … so exciting!

(By the way, anyone studying this post for grammar mistakes–the rules include NO EDITING for SoCS posts. Don’t judge me by this post.)

This is the raw me. The unedited me. Have you noticed how … conversational Stream of Consciousness Saturday posts seem? That’s what I love about them. It’s that not-being-able-to-take-it-back-once-it’s-out-of-your-mouth thing. (Spellcheck really didn’t like that.) Where was I? Oh yeah.

Wine. Wine is good. I’m having a glass now after a full day of work. I can’t edit and drink, which is doing wonders for my weight sobriety. Not that I have a problem with staying sober. But wine is good, isn’t it?

Speaking of sobriety, I found a bag of potatoes today that was slowly but surely becoming vodka in my cupboard. Only it smelled more like fish. Not a good scent for potatoes, I thought, so they’re in the garbage now. *hic*

Speaking of gross things, my next sip of wine tasted like dish soap. I don’t know if it was the fact that the wine had had a chance to dilute whatever wasn’t washed out of the glass the last time it was washed, but I had to get rid of the rest of it.

So I opened a new bottle. *hic*

Where was I?

Oh yeah. There’s no way I’m going to get my colouring project done for the month of August. So I’m going to be late for that party too. I’ll still post the prompt, but with an unfinished page. I suck.

But wine is good.

SoCS badge by Pamela, at https://achronicalofhope.com/

This *hic* post is brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday Sunday Saturday. Join in, won’t you? *hic* https://lindaghill.com/2018/08/24/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-aug-25-18/


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One-Liner Wednesday – When you read it wrong every time

Whenever I see the words “Power Outage,” I wonder how anyone could get so angry over electricity.

If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our lovely new badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!


by 46 Comments

One-Liner Wednesday – Snail Mail

I got home yesterday to find I have snail mail.

(Pictured: a snail slithering across the lid of my mailbox.)

If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our lovely new badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!


by 45 Comments

One-Liner Wednesday – Who? Who, who, who, who?

Backstory: the dog escaped the back yard and my son didn’t know because he was sleeping, so before I went out, I put a note on the door to warn him not to let the dog out back. When I got home, I put the gate up on the deck–the only place safe for Winston to go out. I couldn’t resist taking the picture, just so I could write the title of this post.

If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our lovely new badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!


by 27 Comments

#SoCS – Tea, no matter what

When, as a child, I questioned the wisdom of drinking hot tea on a hot day, my parents told me that it made you sweat, which is better. Back then we didn’t have an air conditioner in the house. They weren’t really a “thing” in my neighbourhood, at least outside of public buildings. We never had a window unit and didn’t get central air until the late 70s, early 80s.

My parents came from the UK–let’s get that out of the way. They HAD to have their tea. So even when it was 90 degrees outside, we’d be sitting with our cuppa, vying for a spot where there was a bit of a wind to cool off our sweaty skin. All stiff-upper-lip/do-it-because-it-feels-good-when-you-stop behaviour.

But that’s turned out to be a good thing. I can’t stand iced (or cold) coffee, but I’ve been conditioned to bear the heat of summer AND a scorching hot drink. I’ve learned to appreciate that extra layer of perspiration that cools me off when I come in contact with even the slightest of breezes.

Or I drink it in an air conditioned room.

Because who needs a stiff upper lip when you have A/C?

BUT, having said that, I still take my cup of tea upstairs to bed with me every night. I have a fan on my bedside table that blasts me with cool air.

Ingenuity is the boon of all that ails.

 

This post is brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click the following link to find all the other posts in the comments, and the rules to join in too. It’s fun! https://lindaghill.com/2018/07/27/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-july-28-18/


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#SoCS – Gimme some skin!

Skin is an organ, right? Sure it is. (Looked it up because I was only 99% sure.) You know what else I looked up? The phrase “give me some skin.” That was exactly what I thought it was too. But I was surprised at how many “give me some …”s there are in the Urban Dictionary. Many surprised me. Some even include other organs! Look if you dare.

Give me some skin is such a friendly one, though. As long as you don’t mind sharing your organs. Of course, some people go much further and share their kidneys. Not both, of course. That would be fatal. Potentially. Still, you don’t see people going around saying “gimme some kidney …” *Checks Urban Dictionary … OOh, if you click on the last one on the list, you get more. But no, there’s cabbage, but no kidney.

Then there’s the exchange of organs–an eye for an eye. That doesn’t make much sense, does it? Unless you jip someone out of an eye that has 20/20 vision when yours is less. Haha! Gotcha! But then you have the potential difficulty of having two eyes that don’t match in colour. How awkward! (I have one blue and one green … it’s really not that awkward. But you know, stream of consciousness and no editing …) I’m using a lot of ellipsis in this post. I don’t usually.

Anyhoo, lots to do. There are a couple of actual blog posts I’ve been meaning to write. *gasp! So much to do.

This silly post is brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click the link to find lots of other posts to read in the comment section, and join in yourself. It’s fun! https://lindaghill.com/2018/07/20/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-july-21-18/


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#SoCS – How?

How am I supposed to do this? I’m asking myself that a lot lately. Between the advertising methods I need to learn, affiliate codes and links and landing pages … GDPR? Don’t even get me started. I need a privacy policy now just to have a newsletter … have you actually read one of those things? (A privacy policy, not a newsletter.) They’re pages of mumbo jumbo. But I have to get all this done soon because … I can’t say. Just know that there’s a big announcement coming  very soon. Maybe tomorrow.

I wonder if Shakespeare had to deal with all this stuff.

Thou’st are not compliant

Fie upon your dogg’d insistence!

Mine eyes cast daggers on thy curs’d GDPR!

Yeah, I doubt it. And no, Shakespeare I am most definitely not.

This short, sweet, archaic post is brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday! Click the following link and join in today! https://lindaghill.com/2018/07/13/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-july-14-18/