Life in progress

Category Archives: Funny


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Just Jot It January 25th – Prestidigitation

Funny story: When I saw “prestidigitation” suggested as a prompt by my friend, the lovely Pamela, I have to admit I cringed a little bit. There’s a mouthful, I thought. I wonder what it means? Regardless of my initial reaction, I was looking forward to writing a post on it. It’s a fact that I work better under pressure, at least when writing is concerned. I believe in this fact so much that I forced myself to wait until I was ready to write this post to look the word up in the dictionary. When I did, I had to laugh at myself.

You see, as it turns out I have been writing about prestidigitation quite constantly, quite vigorously, and quite intently, for more than four years without realizing it. My novel, which took eighteen months to write and is on its seventh revision, is about a magician. Prestidigitation means to perform magic.

…

How did I not know this?!?

So thank you, Pamela. The word “prestidigitation” will find its way into my novel. And that page will be dedicated to you!

Speaking of prestidigitators, you may remember I met a very nice magician last summer and requested an interview with him, both for my own research and to share with the public. I’m quite embarrassed to say I still haven’t managed to use that interview anywhere, but I haven’t given up. I plan to try pitching it to a few more places but, if I’ve had no success by the end of March, I’ll post the interview here. Please look forward to it!

The “Prestidigitation” prompt is brought to you by Pamela at Butterfly Sand. If you don’t already know her, please click on the link and have a read!

JJJ 2016

To find the rules for Just Jot It January, click here and join in today. It’s never too late! And don’t forget to ping back your January 21st post here!


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One-Liner Wednesday – It’s not what you think

On Saturday, I went to a Japanese restaurant. It reminded me of the last Japanese restaurant I ate in, which was a Mister Donut.

In Tokyo.

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Anyone who would like to try it out, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.” However, if you’d like to combine One-Liner Wednesday with Just Jot It January, go right ahead!

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Have fun!


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One-Liner Wednesday – This may become a regular “thing”

I came into the kitchen to find this.

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“kgb got me help!” written on the fridge door.

This is what happens when your kids can spell.

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Anyone who would like to try it out, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.” However, if you’d like to combine One-Liner Wednesday with Just Jot It January, go right ahead!

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Have fun!


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Just Jot It January 9th – Title #SoCS

To cheat or not to cheat? (I’d say, “that is the question,” but I’ve already gone the Shakespeare route this week, so I won’t. But it’s stuck in your head now, isn’t it? Ah ha!)

I was going to write about how hard it would be for me not to cheat on this prompt, since I have no idea what movie title popped into my head when I decided to make that the prompt. I was doomed to fail from the start. I missed out on the element of surprise because it’s hard to surprise yourself. BOO! Nope. Didn’t work. See? Try it at home. It’s safe.

Where was I going with this? Oh yeah. An earworm. Have any of you ended up with one due to this prompt? Because an earworm doesn’t have to just be a song played over and over in your head after hearing it once. It can be a line. A line that becomes a mantra. And then you get stuck on it and it’s like there’s a broken record playing in your head. You hear the line and then the little “blp” that means the needle has jumped the grove and then there’s that line again. I really love vinyl (I know I’ve mentioned it before – I even wrote a post on it) but it can be very fragile and can become unreliable. Not that CDs can’t. I remember being told when CDs first came out that even if you broke them, they’d still play. What a load of crap. My son ran a CD over with his lion (it was a little four-wheeler toddler scooter type thing that he sat on) and it completely destroyed my disc.

Where were we? Oh yeah. The Lion King. “It’s the circle of liiiife…”

You’re welcome.

 

The “title” prompt is brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click here to join in, and leave your link for everyone to see!

SoCS badge 2015

JJJ 2016

To find the rules for Just Jot It January, click here. Join in today! It’s never too late! And don’t forget to ping back your January 9th post here at this post.

Note: If you combine SoCS and JusJoJan in one post, make sure you ping back to both this post and the Friday Reminder post.


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Just Jot It January 7th – Robust

Robust isn’t a word I use often. If I did I would perhaps say that I enjoy a robust wine, or blend of coffee. By that I would mean extremely flavourful. But. (There’s always a “but” in there, right?)

I looked up “robust” in my trusty Thesaurus and came up with some very interesting synonyms. Among them are: athletic, hard-headed, lusty, realistic, rollicking, straightforward, and unsubtle.

… How…? I mean how do you describe, say, a person as having all these qualities?

“The athlete rollicked straightforwardly into a lusty yet realistic dance, with an unsubtle hard-headedness. Because that’s who he was.”

Or even worse:

“The wine rollicks over the tongue with an athletic, lusty twist before heading straightforwardly to the belly warming your insides in an unsubtle, hard-headed… really… I don’t even.”

Who knew the word “robust” could mean so many things? For a six-letter word, it’s got to be the most confusing one in the English language.

This “Robust” prompt is brought to you by Michael at Morpethroad. Click on the link and have a read, and tell him I said hi! And thank him for the crazy prompt!

JJJ 2016

To find the rules for Just Jot It January, click here and join in today. It’s never too late! And don’t forget to ping back your January 7th post here!


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One-Liner Wednesday – Enough Said

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“no coffee no workee”

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Anyone who would like to try it out, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.” However, if you’d like to combine One-Liner Wednesday with Just Jot It January, go right ahead!

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Have fun!


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Just Jot It January 5th – 2016 (My Bucket List)

For the 2016 prompt I’ve decided to take a page from Opinionated Man’s book and write my 2016 Bucket List. Here we go:

  1. Finish my novel and get it published. (I cringe to think how many times this has already drowned in my bucket.)
  2. Get paid for something I write. (It might even be my novel!)
  3. Have a weekend to myself. In my house. Alone.
  4. Teach the dog sign language as well as voice commands so Alex can communicate with him.
    5. A boy and his puppy

    A boy and his puppy

  5. Get my house spotlessly clean top to bottom. (Look for this one on the list every year for the next ten years … a girl can dream.)
  6. Do something with the pot hole that is my back yard. (Okay, it’s not that bad, but it’s not that great either.)
  7. Keep the weight off that I’ve already lost. (This is starting to sound like a list of resolutions. 😛 )
  8. Finish writing the novel I said I was going to finish by Christmas. (My bad.)
  9. Get inspired some more!

What’s on your bucket list for this year?

The “2016” prompt is brought to you by Fiona at Fiona’s Favorites. Click on the link and have a read!

JJJ 2016

To find the rules for Just Jot It January, click here and join in today. It’s never too late! And don’t forget to ping back your January 5th post here!


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Just Jot It January 4th – Dachshund

Yes, my prompt for today is “Dachshund.” It’s the most challenging prompt so far – it may just end up being THE most challenging prompt for me. Thanks, Bee. 😉

I’ve lived with a few different breeds of dog in my life – my first dog was a black lab. We had him for only half a year because my parents kept saying he was “too big for the house.” As a five year old I could never figure out what that meant. The dog was much smaller than the house.

So the next time we got a dog it was a black miniature poodle. We named her Cindy. Cindy had seven pups – I wanted to keep them all but my parents would only let me keep one. Perhaps seven (or eight with Cindy) was equal to the size of the lab and would be “too big for the house.” Who knows?

My mom still had Cindy and the pup (her name was Gigi, because what else do you call a poodle?) when I moved out. I got married to my first husband and the first thing we did when we moved in together was bought George from the pound. Guess what kind of dog George was? Yes, a Saint Bernard. He was a fantastic dog. So well trained, he even knew sign language – we could make him lay down past shouting distance. Strangely enough, I never thought he was “too big for the house.”

George was the last dog I owned until I got Winston, just two weeks ago. He’s a beagle mix – the vet thinks he may have some basset hound in him. He’ll be ten weeks old tomorrow; even though he’s just a puppy he has quite the character already. The cats think he’s “too big for the house,” but we humans think he’s just right.

So what does this all have to do with Dachshunds? Only that I’ve never owned one.

The “Dachshund” prompt is brought to you by The Bee at Just Fooling Around With Bee. Please check out her blog!

JJJ 2016

To find the rules for Just Jot It January, click here and join in today. It’s never too late! And don’t forget to ping back your January 4th post here!


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One-Liner Wednesday – On Taking a Joke

A conversation between my best friend, John, and I:

Me: I need Tylenol.

John: Where’s the pain?

Me: My head, my shoulder, my hips, my ass.

John: (smiles)

Me: But that last one I’ll have to give you Tylenol for.

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Anyone who would like to try it out, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Have fun!


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Tuesday Use It In A Sentence – Festoon

I hope you appreciate how far I had to go for this one:

It’s Fez, tuned.

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It’s Tuesday Use It In A Sentence! Click here: https://fortyandfantastique.wordpress.com/2015/12/07/tuesdayuseitinasentence-festoon/ and join in today!