My Deaf son, Alex, loves to play jokes on people. Seeing surprised expressions is one of his joys in life – it’s why he loves watching “The Price Is Right” and “Just for Laughs Gags” so much. One of his favourite things to do is hide from us, and then pop out to scare us. Except he doesn’t realize that he needs to be quiet. So it’s not uncommon to walk into a room and hear Alex either giggling his head off or screaming with excitement, knowing he’s about to frighten someone. Of course we all play along, shading our eyes and dramatically looking around while signing, “Where’s Alex?”
It’s the same when he and his friends play hide and seek. There’s no such thing as sneaking around quietly – as long as they can’t see each other, they’re golden.
It just makes me laugh. 🙂
You can watch the video with the sound off – the audio is just music and a laugh track. Worth the watch.
My A to Z theme concerns the joys and challenges of being the hearing mother of my Deaf son, Alex. To learn more about his beginnings in life, click here to go to my first A to Z entry.
As the parent of two hearing children I’m cognizant of the need to quell my verbal outbursts when I am not best pleased. I’ve been known, when they were younger, to come out with words such as “schnozzle” after having stubbed a toe, or “fruitcake” having noticed that the thing I wanted to wear hadn’t made it into the laundry. But now that they’re older, and the one child I have left too young to hear the more expressive me can’t hear, I have fewer qualms.
However, (and there’s always a however, isn’t there?) flipping someone the bird after they cut me off in the car remains out of the question. But, (yes, there’s a but as well as a however) there are also accidental signs. Take, for instance, the sign for “very,” which is close to the sign for “fuck.” For “very,” you make a letter “v” (just like a peace sign) with both hands, put the tips of the four extended fingers together and move your two hands away from each other. For a visual, click here: https://www.signingsavvy.com/sign/VERY/7162/1 The sign for “fuck” is the same handshape (the “v”) with both hands, except the movement is different. For this sign, the knuckles knock together… the same as the word “meet,” only with that only the index finger is up. A visual for “meet me”: https://www.signingsavvy.com/sign/MEET%20ME/3877/1
It’s easy to see why you wouldn’t want to mix either “very,” I had a very good time at the fair, or “meet,” There’a a playdate at the park. I’m going to meet my best friend’s husband there, with the word “fuck.” No matter who you’re talking to. Especially your best friend’s mother.
Saying the right thing around Alex can be complicated. The struggle is real.
My A to Z theme concerns the joys and challenges of being the hearing mother of my Deaf son, Alex. To learn more about his beginnings in life, click here to go to my first A to Z entry.
Anyone who would like to participate, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.
As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.
Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”
The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:
1. Make it one sentence.
2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.
3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.
4. Add our new, very cool badge to your post for extra exposure!
The first time I heard Yellow Ledbetter, I absolutely loved the music. The lyrics, on the other hand, I would sing for years before I finally looked them up on the internet. In the meantime I, like probably millions of people around the world, sang in the car at the top of my lungs (when I was alone) what I thought they were.
Here they are:
“Yellow Ledbetter” Pearl Jam
Unsealed on a porch a letter sat.
Then you said, “I wanna leave it again.”
Once I saw her on a beach of weathered sand.
And on the sand I wanna leave it again. Yeah.
On a weekend I wanna wish it all away, yeah.
And they called and I said that “I want what I said” and then I call out again.
And the reason oughta’ leave her calm, I know.
I said “I know what I was the boxer or the bag.”
Ah yeah, can you see them out on the porch? Yeah, but they don’t wave.
I see them round the front way. Yeah.
And I know, and I know I don’t want to stay.
Make me cry…
I see… Oh I don’t know why there’s something else.
I wanna drum it all away…
Oh, I said, “I don’t, I don’t know whether I was the boxer or the bag.”
Ah yeah, can you see them out on the porch? Yeah, but they don’t wave.
But I see them round the front way. Yeah.
And I know, and I know. I don’t wanna stay at all.
I don’t wanna stay. Yeah.
I don’t wanna stay. [x2]
I don’t… Don’t wanna, oh… Yeah. Ooh… Ohh…
Now that you’ve read them, here is the song… with one of the most priceless sets of misheard lyrics I’ve ever come across. After you’ve watched/listened to the video, let me know which set you prefer.
My A to Z theme concerns the joys and challenges of being the hearing mother of my Deaf son, Alex.
Though Sign Languages are as different as spoken languages worldwide, one thing is consistent; they all rely heavily on body language and facial expression. I’ll never forget the first time I was shown the sign for “not yet.” I actually laughed at my teacher, thinking he was joking. There was a mortifying moment. “Not yet” is exactly the same hand-sign as “late,” only with the tongue stuck out. (For a visual: http://www.lifeprint.com/asl101/pages-signs/n/not-yet.htm ) Anyway, by the time my son Alex started to learn American Sign Language I pretty much had my own face and body under control. Unless I’m angry, which is another story altogether. But when we go out in public, the results of people doing things without realizing it can range from amusing back to mortifying. For me. Alex has a blast.
For instance, almost any time I take him out, someone speaks to him. He’s a very engaging little boy. He smiles at people all the time. Invariably they ask him questions, and when they do, they smile back and usually nod their heads because they’re asking a positive question that they want him to agree to:
“Are you looking forward to going back to school?”
“Do you like Spiderman?” (Because he’s always either holding or wearing something to do with Spiderman.)
Alex sees them nod and smile and he nods back. He doesn’t need to hear the question. Which always puts me in the awkward position of having to decide whether or not to tell them he’s Deaf. Unless they ask him another question to which he would have to answer, for instance, “How old are you?” I don’t tell them. Why not, you ask?
People are embarrassed when they get caught talking to a Deaf person. It’s like they feel like they’ve suddenly made a fool of themselves simply by being friendly. When there comes a point at which I have to explain that the reason he’s not talking to them is he’s deaf, they either:
a) say, “Oh,” and walk away, pretending they didn’t speak to us in the first place;
b) say, “But he can lip-read, right?” because obviously he knew what they asked him. He answered the way they wanted him to! (I then say, “Yes, a little,” to ease their minds);
or c) whisper to me, “I’m sorry.” Depending on how I’m feeling on that particular day, I’ll either, say, “That’s okay, he’s just happy to interact,” or, “That’s okay,” and think to myself, Don’t feel guilty about it. It’s not your fault.
I sometimes wonder if, on some level, people know he has a good idea of what they’re thinking. Much of our body language is unconscious. We know we’re doing it, but we don’t always know when, or whether or not we’re controlling it well. And if that doesn’t make you feel self-conscious around a Deaf person, I don’t know what will.
Alex’s ability to read expressions gets embarrassing when he laughs at people. And he does, loudly and with great delight. Take, for instance, a scenario in which you’re out for dinner with someone you’re trying to impress, and you put something in your mouth that you discover you don’t like. You’re turning green at the gills but you’re trying to downplay it, so you grin and bear it while you continue to chew and swallow the offending piece of food. Meanwhile, at the next table, there’s a kid absolutely killing himself with laughter at the subtle expression you’re trying to cover up, while his mother, red in the face, attempts not to giggle at her offspring’s reaction.
All I can really do is try to distract him. I can’t say to the person, “He’s Deaf, and you look like you just put a live bug in your mouth.” It’s amazing how quickly people cease to be charmed by him in these situations. And they happen all the time. Of course I try to explain to Alex that it’s rude to laugh at people, but first, my vocabulary isn’t fantastic in Sign, so when he asks why, I’m at a loss. And second, how can I explain to him that he needs to suppress this wonderful ability to read subtleties that goes flying over the heads of most of the population? So I take it case-by-case and do my best to make everyone happy.
Anyone who would like to participate, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.
As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.
Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”
The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:
1. Make it one sentence.
2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.
3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.
4. Add our new, very cool badge to your post for extra exposure!
I have a week off without my youngest son. Balls of fun, right? Yeah, except I have so much to do I’m stuck with what-do-i-do-first-itis. You know that feeling, right?
So I was going to sit down and start reading SoCS posts this morning with my coffee. But then I thought, I don’t really want to do that before I write my own, because then I’ll know what everyone else is writing about and I’ll try to avoid those topics. And how many topics can you come up with from the word, “ball”? I suppose there are a few.
Like the puppy’s, for instance.
Winston
I’m thinking about getting him neutered. He’s started humping on a daily basis, pretty much anything he can get his front legs wrapped around. Which is natural. But before it gets to be too much I’m going to have to make a decision. I still have time – he’s only four and a half months old. But I hesitate, first, because he’s already been through major surgery and I don’t want to put him through it again, and second, because he’s such a good-natured, laid-back animal that I think the world deserves more like him. Would I find anyone who would want to mate their bitch with him? He who is a mix of beagle, possibly basset hound, and only god knows what else? Maybe not. I should probably look into classifieds for that sort of thing. But who would look for stud services and where would they look? Craigslist comes to mind…
Dating sites for dogs?
I can see it now: Bitch wanted. Must have shots.
Stud Muffin for hire – his name is actually Muffin.
Wanna get lucky tonight? Look at these puppies.
Well-hung and energetic. What? I was talking about my jowls?
Wanted: tail. Prefer long and fluffy.
Okay, you get the picture. We’re here ’til Thursday. Try the veal. Milk bone for dessert…
Good news are on their way!
I’ve found my calling: fortune cookie editor! My motto will be, “Making your Chinese food grammatically tastier, one line at a time.”
Anyone who would like to try it out, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.
As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.
Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”
The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:
1. Make it one sentence.
2. Make it either funny or inspirational.
3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.
4. Add our new, very cool badge to your post for extra exposure!
It seems to me that, though life in general is made up of them, there are weeks when little annoyances build up rather substantially. Or perhaps I’m just less tolerant of them. During weeks like these, it’s important to keep a sense of humour lest I end up totally bonkers due to the stress of it all. Failing the ability to laugh at my woes in the privacy of my own closet (which is where the men in the white coats SHOULD NOT LOOK FOR ME!! IGNORE THE GIGGLES COMING FROM THE CLOSET!!!) this blog enables me to share my madness with all of you. Aren’t you lucky? Here we go.
My Top Ten List of Annoying Things for This Week
Having a fantastic idea for a blog post that’s so freaking good that I didn’t need to write it down.
Famous last words.
Getting all ready to have a shower and then realizing I need to wash my clothes first.
Snow days. All one of them.
Firefox crashing every evening at about 7. What’s up with that?
Having a to-do list that’s longer than there are hours in a day.
Meat in the fridge that won’t wait just one more day before it expires. C’mon, meat! Have a bit of decency!
Not being able to get more fridge magnet letters from Toys ‘r’ Us.
on the bright side, the accent is correct
Chocolate. More specifically, orange Kit Kat. Why does it have to be so mouth-wateringly delicious?!
Not being able to come up with ten annoying things, damnit!
That’s what I wanted to say to a teenager today as I walked past her. She was recounting some story or another to two of her friends and I swear, this is what her speech was like:
So he was like, “what?” like I don’t, like, know and it was like, “haven’t you ever like, liked someone before?” and he was like, “no,” and so I like…
and on and on it went. I seriously almost stopped to ask her if she could utter three sentences without saying the word “like” once. But I didn’t in case doing so caused her to have, like, a seizure or something.
It’s similar (see what I did there?) to listening to a hockey player give an interview.
And uh, I did my best out there, and uh, I think we played a great game, and uh…
Makes you wonder if they teach it in hockey school. Luckily they don’t hesitate to shoot the puck the way they pause between clauses.
And then there’s those who can’t seem to help dropping the f-bomb (I really hate that phrase – f-bomb) between every third and fourth word. Yeah, I won’t – don’t need to – write an example. Do I? Nah. We’ve all heard it. It can get very uncomfortable too, depending on who you’re with. Chances are there’s no point asking the f-‘ing person to stop – they’ll probably do it all the more because what are they doing it for in the first place other than to get attention?
I suppose we all have our speech patterns though. I think I see mine when I write, which makes me more aware of them. I catch my characters sounding like me… I wish they wouldn’t.
This, like, post is brought to you by, like, Stream of, like, Consciousness Saturday. You can, like, click here to join in. Do it, like, now, okay?
lindaghill.com 