Life in progress

Category Archives: Opinion


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The Perfect Place to Live

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We’re having a snow day. It’s the third one since school started in September. I swear, all there has to be is the slightest whiff of the white stuff and the school buses are canceled. So I’m home with Alex today, doing my best to keep him entertained instead of doing what I need to do. For instance, getting out of my pyjamas. …okay, maybe I don’t really need to do that, but you get the picture.

For many of us in Canada, snow and cold weather is something to be dreaded. Reasons vary; some of us northern dwellers only hate snow because it’s a pain the ass to drive in, some can’t stand it when they walk outside and their nose hairs freeze with the first breath (okay, most of us hate that), and some, like me, simply don’t like having cold feet all the time. But we Canadians live with it because overall, Canada is a great place to live.

Earthquakes, tornadoes, and extreme heat are just a few things that make Canada and other places on earth unpleasant at times. Yet they are, in most cases, worth suffering through to stay where we are. Is there any such thing as the perfect place to live? I mean, we all have something where we live that makes life unpleasant, or even downright terrifying at times, don’t we? .

What forces of nature make your country/state/province/island a great and yet not-so-great place to live?

After you comment, please head over to vote in Cover Wars for my book cover. You can vote once every 24 hours. Here’s the link: http://authorshout.com/cover-wars/ Both Belinda, my lovely cover artist, and I appreciate it! We’re way behind and we’ve gotta catch up!

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The War is On!

It’s official! For one week only, I’m in competition for the best book cover on Author Shout’s Cover Wars. Please head over and vote for my amazing cover, designed with love by the equally amazing and lovely Belinda Borradaile of https://idiotwriting.wordpress.com/

Here’s the link to vote: http://authorshout.com/cover-wars/ Even better, you can vote once a day for the next week. Do it now! 😀 Thank you!

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#SoCS – I Can’t Bare It

I know, I know. The right phrase is “I can’t bear it.” But it can be amusing at times what comes out of the mistaken spelling. “Bare with me,” is another. Quite inappropriate. But I try not to laugh. I’m not one to criticize people’s grammar, and it actually annoys me when people feel the need to correct every single mistake, especially when there are so many in a sentence that it’s obvious the person is, at the very least, trying their best to say something when they’re not used to writing. Or English is their second language. I’d be delighted not to have to look up the correct spelling every time I try to write in French or Japanese.

Because I just got off the phone with my dear friend James Justin from Microsoft (he’s been calling me all week, but I asked him specifically to call me this Monday coming. I think he’s starting to get annoyed that his little scam keeps getting put off). He told me today that we were going to see what’s behind my licensing issue this time. Before it was why my computer keeps freezing. I wonder what it’ll be by Monday. Anyhoo, I’m now trying to figure out if there’s any way I can get the police involved, since he’s supposed to call at 10am Monday precisely. Most times he’s called it has come up on my phone as a “Private Number,” but Tuesday, I think it was, he didn’t hide the ID. The number was 516-795-2411. I think James Justin might get fired over that oversight. Anyway, I’m going to look into it. Apparently, according to the Google search I did, the number is from New York.

It’s the time of year when I’m starting to think about whether or not to host Just Jot it January again. I had so much fun with it last year, especially with the prompts I had from all of you. I’m not sure if I’ll have enough time to keep up with it this year though. I’ve thought about getting co-hosts this year. Anyone interested? I think I know how it could work, but I’d have to nail down the details.

I’ve barely followed the prompt this week…

OH! I did want to mention the anthology I’m in is coming out this week. December 15th. I think it’s going to be a great book. I’m part of the publisher’s group on Facebook, and it seems to me I’m one of the least educated and least published of all the authors. There are university professors, lawyers, teachers… and little old me. Don’t forget to look for the After the Happily Ever After anthology!

And hey, if you’re interested in my fiction, buy my book too! 😀 Thanks!

All Good Stories

This post is brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click the following link and join in today!

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS Dec. 10/16


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How to Live When You Want to Save the World

I’m at a loss. The constant flood of news stories coming in through my Facebook feed about discrimination, hate, fear, war and people fleeing from it, protests that go nowhere, threats to freedom and civil liberties–the list goes on and on–are keeping me from living my own life. It distracts me from all the things I should be doing for myself and my family. I’m not functioning because I’m worried, both about my own future, my kids’ future, and that of the ones I can’t help.

Yes, I can hear it already. Poor me, sitting on my privileged white heterosexual ass in a nice warm house, wringing my hands but doing nothing. It’s true. I don’t feel as though I do enough, yet what can I do when I’m shut in my house up here in Canada? I want to help. I want that more than anything. It’s why I’m so obsessed with what’s going on. So far I’ve shared, I’ve given my opinions and I’ve tried to make sense of what’s going on. I’ve tried to help others put it in perspective. To encourage them to do what they can. I write because my words are the best weapon I have. I give consolation when I’m able, but to what effect? It all inevitably falls flat because I am not living it.

On the contrary, I’m not looking to be absolved for having a good life and I don’t want anyone to tell me it’s okay, that I can just go on with my life and not think about what’s going on in the world. I know I need to look after myself. I’m just not sure how to go about it.

I don’t think I’m alone in this. I’m sure there are others out there who live with this worry, and this survivor’s guilt and sense of helplessness. How do you cope when there’s nothing you can physically do? How do you separate yourself from it all, to do what you must to live your own life? We don’t help anyone, least of all ourselves, when all we do is sit at home and read the reports and wring our hands.

I fear this is the way it will be for the rest of my life. I can’t save the world, and I certainly can’t shut it off and ignore it. Perhaps I need to take a break from it though. At least long enough to care for my own family.

But I’ll never stop asking why peace is too much to ask for.


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#SoCS – Meme + Memory

Sitting at the dinner table yesterday with my 22-year-old son, I mentioned the spider meme ( https://lindaghill.com/2016/10/12/one-liner-wednesday-i-thought-we-were-roommates/ ) I came across months ago that I found very funny, and he laughed at me. When I asked why, he said I was too old to be saying words like “meme.” So today I decided to look up the origin of the word.

Turns out it was first coined by Richard Dawkins in his book, “The Selfish Gene” in 1976, but he shortened it from the Ancient Greek word, mimeme, meaning “imitated thing.” (Wikipedia link: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Dawkins#Fathering_the_meme ) HA! I can now say to my son. Though if I’m too old to say the word, how old does that make me? Still feeling a little weird about that.

Getting older is weird though. We have memories which give us the wisdom not to repeat our mistakes (with any luck) and yet our memory, or our capacity to remember, decreases with the shrinking of our brains. As much as I don’t like this, it’s inevitable. I either accept it or I fight it – fighting it takes so much more energy.

Having said that, I can fight it to some extent by continuing to learn and challenge myself. I wonder, often, if people who refuse to change their mindsets, form new opinions, or think they already know everything worth knowing lose their memories faster. I had an aunt who was very set in her ways. When she made a decision, she stuck with it no matter what. It might have been that she just hated making decisions so she got them over and done with as quickly as possible. But her decisions also were very predictable, because she never changed her preferences. She was stuck in a certain time, probably her childhood or early adulthood. I’m not sure I was born when she stopped trying new things. I always knew her as completely focused on the way things should be.

And, of course, the memories she shared never changed. The stories we all hear from our older family members are inevitably told as though they’ve never been told before. The polite thing to do is sound surprised, no matter how many times we’ve heard them. I wonder if people who are closed-minded have a narrower memory. Something my ever-learning mind will likely look into one day.

Now that I’ve veered totally off-course from my original intent for this post, I’ll have to go back and change the title. Coming up with titles for posts is hard, isn’t it?

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Stream of Consciousness is for everyone! Click the link to see how you can join in today: https://lindaghill.com/2016/11/11/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-nov-1216/

 


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For You, For Us, For Humanity. Please Share

On this, November 11th, the day we remember the people who have given their lives  for their countries, I find the disparity between the ultimate in self-sacrifice and the continuing reports of disrespect and lack of empathy discouraging. I had a discussion on Facebook this morning with a man who told me that his daughter-in-law had been verbally accosted in a store while holding her 18-month-old child; there are so very many reports such as this and even worse coming in, it almost makes me want to hide. But I won’t, because there is something I can do.

For all the people who lack empathy in the world, I believe there are more who understand that we all have our struggles. And whether we deem them bigger than ours or not, a struggle is a struggle. An exhausted single mother washing her own dishes in an effort to control something, a rich man wanting to protect his children from bullying, the only true perspective is in the circumstances of the individual.

Let us show that there are more of us who care. That there are greater numbers of those who would rather give than receive. I challenge you today and every day to show love and kindness to a stranger. Find a way to go out of your way to help. Even a smile could make a difference in someone’s life, but especially now. Especially today, when we face the very real imbalance between selflessness and hate.

Please share this. We may not have the power to fix the world, but we possess the ability to communicate. And with this amazing means, we can help make the world a better place to live. Let this go viral. At this point I don’t even care if you copy and paste these words and pretend you wrote them yourself. What is important is that we can make a difference for the good of humanity.

For you, and for all of us.


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Anxiety in Children

I thought it would be better by now, but it’s just getting worse. My son, Alex, as most of you know, is Deaf, and he hates masks. Anyone dressed in a costume is an extreme cause of stress for him, from the Easter Bunny, to Santa, to his school mascot. I believe it’s mostly because he can’t see their facial expressions, and thus can’t determine whether or not they are friendly or threatening. Whatever it is, Hallowe’en is the worst time of year.

This morning, getting him to go to school to spend the day with his friends was difficult, to say the least. He doesn’t seem to understand that the people he knows are inside the costumes. He’s sixteen years old physically, but at a mental age of six or seven. It’s not likely to get any better from here.

My concern is that I’m perpetuating the problem. Today I drove him to school so I could be there to reassure him everything was okay. He was nervous (he’s been having anxiety attacks every night before bed for the past week) even though he was able to explain to me himself that masks and scary costumes were not permitted at school. So okay, he needs support. I think there’s a fine line between coddling him and reassuring him when his fears are legitimate. But should I be the one supporting him at this point in his life?

I’m not going to be around forever. As he becomes an adult, there will be a time when he can no longer run to Mommy when there’s a problem. I believe he needs to start, at some point, (soon?) to rely on society to feel safe.

I’m at a loss. Any suggestions are welcome.


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Song-Lyric Sunday – Cities In Dust, The Mortal (Cover)

The theme for this week’s Song Lyric Sunday, a prompt from the lovely Helen Espinosa, (find her post here and join in today! https://helenespinosa.wordpress.com/2016/10/30/song-lyric-sunday-the-devil-in-i-by-slipknot/ ) is “scary.” The song I’ve chosen isn’t really scary, as such, but it’s about as Goth as you can get.

Originally written and recorded by Siouxsie and the Banshees in 1986, Cities In Dust may arguably be one of the most popular Goth songs of all time. Still haven’t heard it? Well here’s your chance.

I’m so excited to be able to share with you The Mortal’s cover of the song. Sakurai Atsushi, the vocalist, translated the verses into Japanese for his version of it. In my opinion, the arrangement of the song is even better than the original. Add to that the fact that I WAS ACTUALLY AT THE CONCERT in the video:

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My name is on the ticket!

and it’s even more awesome. The video was filmed at the NHK Hall in Tokyo, in November, 2015.

Here’s the video (subbed in English), and below are the lyrics.

Courtesy of A-Z Lyrics:

Cities In Dust

Water was running, children were running
You were running out of time
Under the mountain, a golden fountain
Were you praying at the Lares’ shrine?
But oh, your city lies in dust, my friend
But oh, your city lies in dust, my friend

We found you hiding, we found you lying
Choking on the dirt and sand
Your former glories and all the stories
Dragged and washed with eager hands
But oh, your city lies in dust, my friend
But oh, your city lies in dust, my friend
Your city lies in dust

Water was running, children were running
We found you hiding, we found you lying
Water was running, children were running
We found you hiding, we found you lying
Your city lies in dust, my friend
But oh, your city lies in dust, my friend

Hot and burning in your nostrils
Pouring down your gaping mouth
Your molten bodies, blanket of cinders
Caught in the throes
And oh, your city lies in dust, my friend
Oh, your city lies in dust, my friend
Oh, your city lies in dust, my friend
Oh, your city lies in dust, my friend
Your city lies in dust, my friend
Oh, your city lies in dust, my friend…

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#SoCS – Screen

“Experience is the screen through which we see the world.” ~ Linda G. Hill

I just came up with that. Someone else probably has as well, but just in case I’m not subconsciously plagiarizing it, I’ll leave it up there all by itself.

It’s always been true, I think. The whole nature vs. nurture thing may be something we’ll never all agree on – I believe there’s a balance there somewhere. There’s no doubt our experiences shape us, whether to turn us into what we’ve seen or give us the determination to be the opposite. Either way, our experiences colour how we perceive things, how we judge things to be true or false, comforting or scary, acceptable or not.

If the above statement has always been true, isn’t it more literally true now? When almost all we see of the world is through a physical screen, compounded by opinions that read as facts, and facts that are difficult to believe, it’s no wonder we’re often confused. Or maybe I just speak for myself.

With the world on the brink of change (if my screen is to be believed), we are witnessing history, close up and from afar at the same time. Will we always have this medium to express our thoughts and connect with one another? Loss of this is what I fear the most.

Note: I looked up my “quote” – this is the closest I came to it: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/483575-we-don-t-see-the-world-as-it-is-we-see So I’m sticking quotation marks around it and calling it mine. I’ll await the claim of whomever beat me to it.

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This post is part of Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click the following link to join in: https://lindaghill.com/2016/10/14/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-oct-1516/


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#SoCS – Awkward

Don’t you hate awkward exchanges between yourself and a stranger? They talk to you and the conversation finishes but you’re not sure how to walk away? I’ve had a couple of those this weekend. It’s been an exhausting one, mentally and emotionally. I’ve cried, I’ve laughed, I’ve learned, I’ve read my work out loud (something I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to do), and I’ve met some people who’ve inspired me. In all, I’d say it has been a good time. But now I’m about ready to shut down.

I had an awful conversation by text with my ex. If you know my pseudonym, you can find my rant on that blog. The rant helped, but the conversation helped to drain me. I think now I’ll go look for something to just zone out with. I’ll write more about my weekend later, if I have a chance.

Thanks again to Joey for hosting this week. Please, everyone, stand and applaud. She won’t think it’s awkward AT ALL. 😀

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This post is brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday: https://lindaghill.com/2016/09/30/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-oct-116/ Click the link to join in!