Life in progress

Category Archives: Opinion


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Starving my child for kicks

I had the pleasure today of going out for lunch with my son, Alex. For those of you who are new to this blog, Alex is Deaf and he is tube-fed. He nibbles a little, drinks even less, and has never eaten a meal in all of his thirteen and three-quarter years. However it’s fun for both of us: I get to treat myself to a meal and he gets to people-watch, which is his favourite thing in the whole world.

So we went into Montana’s and sat down in a booth and the waitress came over to ask if we wanted anything to drink. I ordered him a glass of water without ice (I’m won’t pay for something he won’t drink – he did end up sipping about a half-teaspoon of it though) and I ordered myself a beer. A few minutes later she came back with that and took our order. We had agreed on a salmon salad – Alex liked the picture – so I asked for it and he pointed to it.

“Just one?” she asked.

“Yes,” I answered.

“Shall I get him a plate?” she half-whispered, I suppose so as not to embarrass me.

“Sure,” I said.

She looked at me briefly as though she was assessing how cheap I must be and left the table. Five minutes later she came back with not one, but two small plates. I mean seriously, SURELY I was going to split the salad evenly. I did manage to not tell her to go fuck herself however – I said thank you instead.

When the salad came she put it in the middle of the table. Of course I immediately moved it in front of me and gave Alex a nibble on his plate. After two miniscule bites of salmon he was full.

The thing is this: every time this happens I’m tempted to lift up his shirt and show the waitress his g-tube button, permanently implanted in his stomach, and explain why I’m not feeding him. But then I think, why should I have to? What I do in a restaurant, as long as I’m being polite and paying for my food, shouldn’t matter. Yet how much do you want to bet she went home and told her husband, “There was this woman who came in today and ordered herself a beer and a salad and let her kid starve, blah blah blah…” Actually, it’s kind of funny, when you think about it.

Would you explain to people why you’re not feeding your child? Or would you just allow them to judge and tell everyone about it who will listen?


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Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Time

I read an article yesterday that talked about what is important to us and how we spend our time doing things that aren’t important. The article went on to say what you do is what you are.

To a certain degree I agree. I write, I am a writer. I take care of my family, I am a mother. But what do I do that makes me simply a human being? I spend time thinking about what I can do to help others, I try to spend time relaxing and even more time attempting to be inspired by something that I would like to write. I don’t think it’s possible to ever really be doing nothing. Even when we’re playing mindless games or watching crappy television programs, our minds are active.

The article stated also that if we laze around doing useless things then our lives are useless. If we spend all our time working for things we think we need (extras, that is) then we’re probably even worse off, especially if our goal in life is to provide for our family. A family we rarely see.

Anyway, it got me thinking about what I spend my time doing. I often say I’m doing nothing, and it’s true that many days little gets accomplished that I can actually see with my eyes. The dishes pile up, the dusting and vacuuming don’t get done. But in all, my children are happy and I’m pretty content. Sitting with Alex, even if we’re both on our laptops, keeps him happy and avoiding Chris unless he wants something – and then being available to talk to him when he does – makes for a peaceful household. The dishes, the dust, the vacuum cleaner – they don’t really care what I do with my time.

This post is part of SoCS. Find this week’s prompt here and join in! https://lindaghill.wordpress.com/2014/08/15/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-august-1614/

Badge by: Doobster at Mindful Digressions

Badge by: Doobster at Mindful Digressions

P.S. Here’s the link to the article: http://www.cracked.com/quick-fixes/the-60-second-guide-to-bullshit-free-life/


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One-Liner Wednesday – Now

If there is ever enough money there won’t be enough time, and vice versa; before you know it, time will have run out – do it now!!

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Anyone who would like to try it out may feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post. If you do, please ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday, if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet. It’s a great way to meet new bloggers!

The rules that I’ve made for myself for “One-Liner Wednesday” are as follows:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Make it either funny or inspirational.

Have fun!


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Distraction and Randomness

Am I the only one who is incredibly distracted by all the articles on Robin Williams? I think it’s the vast contradiction between the man who made us laugh and the exceptionally sad circumstances of his death that have me reeling so much over the news. I’ve tried to write more on the subject, but no matter what I write, it just makes no sense.

In other news, I went upstairs to go to bed the other night (it must have been more than a week ago by now) and Alex was talking in his sleep. Keep in mind that he doesn’t speak – he only signs. I actually walked to my room to the sound of applause. I’ve seen him do it before though. It’s quite funny to watch him have a conversation with someone in his dream. He giggles a lot as well.

When I was at the Museum of Nature in Ottawa I saw a Splitfin Flashlight fish. Try saying that three times fast.

Don’t forget to get your entries in for the badge design contest tomorrow!

That’s really all I can come up with at the moment. (See first paragraph.)

Blah.


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The Most Important Thing in Fiction

The mark of an excellent novel, in my opinion, is made by how much I fall into the story and its world and how much I care about the characters. There’s really nothing quite like a book that I don’t want to put down. You know the kind – they’re the ones that leave you sad when they end.

I was thinking about the elements that go into such a story and it occurred to me that for me, it’s the author’s ability to leave things out. Description, in too much detail, takes away my need to imagine them. But having said that, it’s only certain things I don’t want described to me.

If a land, for instance, is extremely foreign then I need as much detail as I can get. But certain actions… Take sex scenes for instance. I find them much more erotic if they are sparsely described than if they are laid out like a users’ manual, unless there is something particularly unusual about the scene. Another one for me is the description of characters. Even if someone is described in minute detail, I tend to get my own impression of their appearance and I think a lot of what I imagine has to do with their character itself, for instance whether they are a villain or a lover. It’s like when I talk to someone on the phone on a daily basis – I get an idea of what he or she looks like based on their voice and the way they talk. It’s usually a shock to see what the person actually looks like!

The point is, it’s the lack of description in many cases that makes me think–makes me imagine more–and this is what draws me in. If I’m able to place a modicum of my own experience into a world I’m reading about, it becomes mine. It becomes a place I love to be, populated with people I can truly envision.

What do you like left out of the stories you read? Do you have a favourite thing you like to envision for yourself?


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The Editing Process

It occurred to me this morning as I was working on what will probably be the second-last edit of my novel The Great Dagmaru, that editing is an inherently ugly process. When I read my novel as a whole, it’s like taking in a picturesque landscape, with rolling hills, still lakes and vividly coloured birds, twittering and flitting from branch to branch.

But as I edit it, sentence by sentence, all I can see are the caterpillars, munching on the leaves and weaving themselves gauzy tents where they squirm like maggots. My job, of course, is to get them outta there looking like pretty butterflies.

It’s easy to get discouraged when I’m gazing at my work under a microscope. I agonize over single words; I look at them sometimes until they cease to have meaning. I forget how phrases go together in natural speech because I’ve contemplated them for too long. Thankfully this only happens occasionally. There are also parts which I can read through and not want to change a thing, except to delete a word here and there.

Today, however, the ants are crawling with the spiders and the worms are aerating the ground to allow for new growth. And I’m seeking oxygen to keep going.


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What do you believe?

We humans have some weird beliefs. I’m not talking about religion, or any type of organized superstition, as such. Can superstition even be considered “organized”? Hmm… that may be another blog post.

What I’m contemplating are those little things I feel so strongly about that I make them part of my everyday life.  And I know I’m not alone in this, because I’ve talked to people about this before.

For instance, when I have a feeling something bad is going to happen, I don’t tell anyone, lest it come true. On the other hand, if I feel something good is going to happen, I don’t tell anyone lest it not come true. Such a contradiction, isn’t it?

Then there are those things that I really want to do, that are possibly against the odds, (such as successfully selling a million dollars’ worth of books) but I talk about it over and over because I think that maybe the universe will make it true. Again, a contradiction.

There are so many of these little beliefs that people, not only me, hold dear.  What comes around, goes around can be linked to both the Golden Rule and Karma, but there are people who just simply believe it. Another common belief is that certain sequences of coincidences are a sign of something to come.

And how about our superpowers? So many people have them. Ever since I was a little girl I’ve sometimes been overcome by the feeling that I was going to get caught doing something I shouldn’t, and I’ve learned to always trust it. For instance when I was a teenager, if I had a friend from school over who wasn’t allowed in the house, I knew precisely when to get them out the door, even if my mother showed up unexpectedly early. Now I apply it more to getting caught speeding… not that I do so often, but I always manage to slow down long before I come across a speed trap. And no, they’re never in the same place. I’ve met people who know when the phone is going to ring, and people who can predict changes coming in their lives, and of those who are close to them.

All of these things require a certain amount of belief to cause them to keep coming back to us.

Do you have any odd beliefs? Superpowers? Please share!

 


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Playing the “Dumb” Card

I admit it: sometimes when I want something I’ll play stupid to get it.

Take for instance the laptop battery that I’ve been waiting for since May from Best Buy. They screwed up once and in return promised me a free battery, but it’s taking forever to arrive. I’ve called them countless times on the matter but it never seems to go anywhere. There comes a point when I just get tired of explaining myself to everyone I talk to. Eventually my answer becomes, “I don’t know.”

When did we first order the part? the Geek Squad guy asks.

I don’t know.

I’ll look it up.

This, from my perspective is a good thing because a) it forces them to admit they’ve screwed up somewhere and b) it means they’re actually looking at the problem rather than just listening to me complain while they gaze around the store at the pretty girls looking at iPads and/or pick their noses.

Then there’s my newspaper, which was cut off today because I got a new credit card and didn’t call them to give them an updated expiry date.  So I call them to ask why my paper didn’t come.

It looks like all we need is your payment information. Did you not get a notice in the mail?

I didn’t see one. (I’m of course lying.)

Oh, well I’ll update that for you today and  get a paper out to you right away. I’m not sure why your carrier didn’t mention it to you.

I don’t see my carrier. (Again, blatant lie. I AM my own carrier. I don’t, however, have a lot of mirrors in my house…)

Sorry for the inconvenience.

Don’t let it happen again. (Okay, I didn’t really say that, but what fun it would have been!)

I’m not a liar when it comes to anything else, but I’m certainly not beyond acting like an idiot when it comes to dealing with company’s bureaucracies. There’s nothing more annoying than being brushed off when you pay good money for a service: you shouldn’t have to fight for it if you’re paying for it!

Am I alone in this practice? Tell me you’ve done something similar. Please.

 


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Readers and Writers: Opinions Wanted

I had an idea: I doubt it’s a unique idea, which is why I one of my questions to you, dear readers and writers of fiction, is whether or not you’ve ever seen this done before.

Imagine being able to have a conversation with Anne Rice’s Lestat, Stephenie Meyer’s Edward Cullen, Stephen King’s Annie Wilkes, or J.R.R. Tolkien’s Galadriel. Would you want to? If an author gave voice to one of his or her characters in an interactive medium, would it be just plain weird for that character to be removed from the world the author created for them? Or would it be a thrill-ride to be able to ask all the questions you have about their lives before they showed up in the story you love? Would you enjoy flirting with your favourite fictional character? Would you like to get more insight on a villain’s inner thoughts?

I’ve seen blog posts where authors interview their characters, but to let them out in public–to relinquish control over what they might have to reveal–is a different scenario.

So I ask you, apart from the question have you seen it done before, would you want it? Or is it better to let them stay put in their story?


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And a Royally Spectacular Time Was Had By All

…and spectacularly happy I am that Queen and Adam Lambert decided to make last night’s final North American concert stop at Toronto’s Air Canada Centre.

As a long-time fan of Queen’s guitarist, Dr. Brian May, I made sure to secure seats at stage left. Not since March 2006 have I seen a more exhilarating show and that was, you guessed it, Queen with Paul Rodgers. Adam Lambert adds a whole set of unique talents to the concert however. His sense of style is so very much like the late, great, Freddie Mercury’s and yet different enough that I didn’t get the impression that he was trying to step into the fondly missed singer’s shoes. Instead he managed to make the show his own, even as he sang the songs faithfully as we all know them so well from hours and hours of listening.

The set list covered many of their most popular tunes, and some of the lesser played favourites. I had the feeling that quite a number of the younger members of the audience (and there were quite a number!) didn’t recognize the older tunes, though that didn’t seem to suppress their enjoyment. Included here were “The Seven Seas of Rhye” and “In The Lap of the Gods…Revisited,” both of which I’m honoured to have heard live. I was thrilled when Brian began to hint that “’39” was coming up as it’s my personal favourite from the album A Night at the Opera.

Dr. May’s guitar solo, as always, was truly amazing. The things that man can do with a guitar are nothing less than astounding. There are few guitarists on this planet who play with such heart and pitch that their music can pierce the soul and bring tears to the listeners’ eyes. Brian May is indeed one of them. And speaking of tears there was, of course, his solo performance of “Love Of My Life.” Enough said.

In the end, the show was made in the performance of the final three songs. “Bohemian Rhapsody” was powerful, and heart-wrenching as well when a video of our beloved Freddie was shown on the big screen, singing and playing the piano. For the encore, the band played, “We Will Rock You” and “We Are The Champions.” Anyone lucky enough to experience these three songs live… To attempt to put it into words: it’s spiritual; like being surrounded by a sense of all-encompassing love in the form of heavenly sound and to know that the very hands which played THAT MUSIC–the songs you’ll always remember where you were and what you were doing the first time you heard them–are standing before you in the same room, is just incredible! There is the a reason Queen are referred to as rock Gods. This is it.

If you ever have a chance to see Queen perform live, do it. No matter what the monetary cost, no matter how far you have to travel. It’s an experience you’ll never forget.