Life in progress

Category Archives: Parenting


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JusJoJan 9 – Power Outage Paranoia

It was 5:37pm last night. I had just finished my dinner and settled Alex in front of the computer. I breezed into the kitchen to retrieve a glass of wine (because that’s how I move about my house – if I’m not breezing, I’m flitting. Unless I’m tired, in which case I trudge) when the lights flickered and …poof!

I said a bad word. Then I put my wine glass down on the counter and went back to get a screaming Alex out of the computer room. (Yes, I have a computer room. It used to be a bedroom, but six bedrooms seemed to be overkill.)

After I felt around for the barbecue lighter in the cupboard, and lit a couple of candles, I checked out my front window. Exactly what I thought: no rain, no snow, no wind … no reason for a power outage. But there I was on a dark street but for the soft glow shining through my neighbour’s curtains – they too had lit candles.

When I looked out my back window on the other hand, my back door neighbour’s house was lit up like a Christmas tree. I could see them looking out of their back window and I could imagine them saying, Oh look, that entire street is out of power! Then they probably poured themselves a nice steaming cup of coffee from their electrically charged coffeemaker and proceeded to laugh at my powerless plight.

Meanwhile, Alex was getting restless. You should have played a game with him! you’re all saying to yourselves. But I had other fish to fry. Or would have, had my stove been working. My cell phone was fully functional however. My next door neighbour seemed to be in a panic, texting me things like OMG and The power’s out! I asked her if she was okay, and if she’d like to come over but she assured me she was fine. Oddly enough, she texted me for the entire hour and a half that the power was out and then abandoned me to other pursuits as soon as it came back on. (If you’re reading this, Nancy, you’re the best neighbour I’ve ever had! Let’s do coffee soon!)

Forgotten by Nancy, I found my other son, Chris emerging from his room where had surely been shivering under the covers – he hates the dark. He announced that although the lights were back on, he would forgo his shower and take it in the morning instead.

You never know when the power’s going to go out, after all.

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JusJoJan 6 – Vacations Are Fun

I’m at a crossroads, of sorts, in regards to my son, Alex, and his behaviour. Keeping in mind that it’s 5:46am and I’ve had two hours of sleep all night, I’m writing this here as both a way to get it in black and white so I can see the problem from a different perspective, and to put the conundrum out there in hopes that someone else has gone through something similar. My hopes aren’t too high.

First, the history: To say that Alex has a hard time making decisions is a gross understatement. When trying to choose, for instance, between staying home to play a game or come with me to the grocery store, he’ll change his mind at least a dozen times. He’ll get dressed and then completely undressed; he’ll whine, cry, scratch his head a lot – it’s utter torture. I have, however, reduced it from a half hour ordeal to, “I’m leaving, if you want to come with me, be ready before I walk out the door.” As a result the process now only takes five minutes.

He also suffers with the occasional insomnia, and for the past week he’s been combining the lack of decision-making skills with lack of sleep. The fact that there are two single beds in his room has never been a problem before. When my mother comes to visit on the weekends, she sleeps in his room and he’s quite happy with that deal. Only for a week now he can’t decide which bed he wants to sleep in. At approximately 2:30 every morning since before New Year’s Eve, he’s been doing the whining, crying, head-scratching routine. It’s torture for both of us, and it goes on for a couple of hours each night. I tried hanging a calendar in his room and striking up a deal with him that he sleeps one month in one bed and the next in the other. That worked for one night – coincidentally it was the same night he didn’t have a choice because Nanny was in the other bed.

So. I’m faced with a dilemma. Do I go to all the trouble of taking the extra bed out of his room?

On the surface it seems to be the logical thing to do.

Except: there is still the communication barrier thing going on. Not being completely fluent in my own son’s language – American Sign Language – I never really completely know if he understands the consequences of his actions before they happen. It’s always that one word I’m missing: “If you don’t get ready now, I’m leaving without you.” I will temporarily lose from my addled brain the sign for ‘without.’ Or, “If you don’t stay in one bed all night, I’m going to move the other bed out.” Is he getting that I’m going to move the bed? Or does he think I’m going to let him sleep in another room? Even if I turn the sentence around and keep it positive, I have the same problem. Aside from sleeping in his room, which is exactly what he wants me to do and will ensure that I’ll never sleep in my own bed again, I can’t keep him in bed at night. In the past I’ve been able to demonstrate what I mean. Like during the period when he decided to turn the television on in his room at 2am. I tried to explain to him that if he didn’t leave it off I’d take it out of the room, and when that didn’t work, I took it out of the room. He got it after that. Moving a bed, box spring and mattress down four flights of stairs is a rather more difficult undertaking.

So, my next thought was, tip the bed on its side and leave it where it is. Only that would be an all new brand of hell for my little darling and his OCD.

I know I need to ask his school for help. At this point his teacher is already practically living my life for me in regards to making sure he does as he’s told at home. They, unlike me, know how to explain things to him in no uncertain terms. It’s easy to see how vacations from school become nightmares at home.

Before you ask, there is no support for hearing parents to learn sign language for their Deaf children in the area.

Oh, and I just found out there’s no school today because of flash freezing. Oh joy.

Any suggestions, hugs, or paid-in-full Caribbean vacations can be left in the comment box and will be gratefully received.

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JusJoJan 5 – Keeping It Together

I can always tell when my youngest son, Alex, is ready to go back to school after having time off – his behaviour is intolerable. Right now I’m trying to ignore him while he plays a game on his Wii U and screams and claps louder than one would think is humanly possible. The alternative is to shut him in his room until tomorrow morning, in which case he won’t get the nutrition he needs because he’ll unplug his feeding pump.

If tomorrow is a snow day I may just kill something.

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JusJoJan 4 – I Spy

“I spy with my little eye…”

It started out with colours, when I was a small child and progressed to “…something that begins with…” a letter of the alphabet when I was old enough to spell. It was a great way to pass the time on long drives.

I have since graduated from that delightful little game however. Sure, I played it with the kids when they were little. But around the time when my eldest son was born, my ex and I started playing another game in the car. The first one to guess the name of the band playing the song on the radio got a point. The game would start when we got in the car and wouldn’t end until we arrived at our destination. New trip, new game.

Since then I’ve started playing it with my eldest. At nineteen years of age, he’s almost able to beat me, especially when the music is of the newer variety. It’s taught him to appreciate the music that is the same age as he is and older, which is great as far as I’m concerned. I thank heaven to this day he’s never been interested in rap – possibly because of years of listening to his dad and I play “The Game.” It’s amazing how far a little competition can go.

When was the last time you played a silly game with your family and/or friends, and what was it? Let’s have some fun today, and teach each other a game or two!

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EDDD 31 – 2013, It Was Good To Know Ye

2013 has been a year like no other for me. It’s been a year of beginnings, and a year of finalities. From friendships to my figure, from anonymity to zealous writing, I’ve seen it all.

I’ve stayed in a house where I was haunted by my own characters, I’ve grown – not only by the twenty or so pounds I gained since Hallowe’en – but as a writer. I’ve finished two novels and have two blogs of my own, as well as having been included in two of the best sites on WordPress – The Community Storyboard, which will be up and running again in the new year, and by my dear dear friend, THE Opinionated Man on HarsH ReaLiTy as a guest.

But most of all I’ve had my dream come true. I’ve gone from a woman isolated from society by her life’s circumstances, to a blogger with connections worldwide, with people I have more in common with than I could have dreamed, and a few true friends as well.

2013 has blessed me with the discovery of community, and the privilege of having spent yet another year with the most loving three children a mother could wish for.

Every year I make resolutions which I never keep. This time around I realize their importance and will do my utmost to uphold them – not to mention this is the first time I’ve ever declared them in public. I have face to save!

To lose above mentioned twenty pounds is just the start. My intention is for this to be the year I come into my own as a writer and to get something published, whether it by my epic novel (my first choice) or an article for which I am paid. And finally, I wish to bring calm and love to those I hold dear – the one thing I strive for always.

A happy, healthy, wealthy, and peaceful 2014 to everyone!

Linda
xxx

Blog post of December 31st, in honour of Every Damn Day December. Please join in next year!


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EDDD 27 – Random

It’s taken me twenty seven days to run out of things to say, which isn’t bad I don’t think. Okay, so I cheated for a couple of days when my dear friend Navigator1965 posted for me. But I would have come up with something excellent to blog about. Honest.

One little bit of good news – the kids are being picked up by their dad for the weekend, so I’m getting some time to myself, for the first time in four weeks! This will be my fifth weekend off since August. I want to spend as much time reading my manuscript as I can, since I haven’t looked at it for almost two months. I wanted to give it time to rest. Apart from that, I think sleep will be a priority.

And wine and chocolates. I have a box of Godiva truffles to wade through, which is nice, as I have insanely expensive taste in chocolate. Hey, go big or go home, right? The wine is a different story. I’m going to save the good stuff for a grand occasion, like when someone’s book hits the best-seller list. Which it will. You know who you are.

What else? Oh, I went back to delivering my papers today for the first time since my accident. It went well – not too much ice underfoot, nor any branches dropping on my head. No giraffe encounters either (Joey), nor did I see Megan Fox (Paul), so it wasn’t a perfect outing.

My next door neighbour lost his back fence to a fallen tree that stood about five feet tall laying down (the trunk’s diameter), so that was pretty exciting. I missed it actually falling, but I was sitting at the kitchen table when it happened, so I caught the cloud of ice dust that surrounded it when it hit the ground. It missed the other neighbour’s shed by inches. I’m glad I wasn’t standing under that. Surprising, considering my luck this holiday.

Alex seems to be doing well. I’m not sure why the doctor only treated the symptoms of his pneumonia and didn’t mention removing the piece of food from his lung. Maybe it’ll dissolve? I can’t find any information online one way or the other.

Here’s some more ice, in case you haven’t seen enough this week.

iceice

 

 Blog post of December 27th, in honour of Every Damn Day December. Check it out!


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EDDD 26 – Boxing Day

Why do they call it Boxing Day anyway? Is it the day you get rid of all the boxes from the gifts you received? Or find a spot to put all the ones you have to keep because if the devices that came in them prove to be defective, the guarantee is void if said device goes back without its original packaging?

Is it the day you put all your Christmas decorations back in their boxes? (Or in the case of Christmas lights, tie them in a ball so that next year you’ll have as much fun cursing yourself for not doing a better job packing them away as you did this year?)

Is it the day you go out to the sales and gather even more boxes because finally everything has gone down from it’s pre-Christmas over-inflated price?

For me, Boxing Day is a time to recover from the Christmas frenzy, and has nothing to do with boxes at all… unless you count staring at them, hoping they’ll throw themselves in the recycling bin. I won’t even mention the damned twist-ties that are strewn all over my living room floor. Oh, wait…

What does Boxing Day mean to you?

Blog post of December 26th, in honour of Every Damn Day December. Check it out!


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EDDD 25 – Trust Your Instincts

‘Twas the night before Christmas
And all ’round the kitchen
There was choking and coughing
My son, he was bitchin’

…that his head ached, he was dizzy, tired, and everything hurt. It was about half an hour after dinner. Within the next fifteen minutes he was asleep on the couch and his breathing was fast and shallow.

I started looking to the internet for solutions as to what could be wrong. All day he’d been active, happy, and looking forward to opening his presents. On a hunch I looked up ‘aspiration.’ Bingo. I checked his temp. He was burning up.

Fifteen minutes later we were at the hospital. By midnight he’d had an x-ray – they found a piece of food lodged in his right lung. It took one hour for him to go from fine to having aspiration pneumonia. He’s at home now, happily playing with his new Wii U, on antibiotics.

I’ve said it so many times and I’ll say it again. A mother knows her child much better than any doctor can. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been in a position where I’ve had to tell a doctor flat out that he or she was wrong. I’ve demanded a second opinion from a pediatrician more than once.

This wasn’t the case last night, however this post is to say that if you are a mother, always trust your instincts over a doctor’s opinion.

Had I not trusted my instincts, the scenario right now could have been much much worse. Apparently the chances of survival for this sort of thing depends on early detection.

A Christmas miracle indeed. Merry Christmas everyone!

Blog post of December 25th, in honour of Every Damn Day December. Check it out!


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EDDD 24 – All I Want – Giving

For the seventh and final edition of “All I Want,” I decided to save the best for last. Giving, after all, is what the season is all about. Interesting how circumstance would have me posting this on Christmas Eve, instead of Sunday.

Christmas Eve is special to many people. For myself, it’s a time to finish wrapping presents, to stuff stockings, and to enjoy the anticipation of my children as they climb off to bed with thoughts of what they will wake to in the morning. A little glass of Baileys always goes down well, also. 🙂

But if I could give anything at all to the ones I love, it would be to give my children perfect health. To Chris I would give complete access to that brilliant mind of his – to unlock it from the constraints that autism places on his abilities to process his thoughts. And to Alex I would give the gift of music – a revelation to his deaf ears; the chance to fill his taste buds with the wonder of flavours, where now he eats through a tube; and finally I would give him a perfect heart, to replace the one he was born with, that beats precariously in his chest.

So, finally, I ask you, my readers. If you could give anything at all to the ones you love, what would it be? Dream big, my friends.

Happy Christmas Eve.

 

 

 Blog post of December 24th, in honour of Every Damn Day December.


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Is It Just Me?

Is it just me or does it seem like this is the worst time of year for colds? Every year at Christmas time, someone in my family gets sick. It’s awful when it’s me, because I’m the one everyone counts on to do all the shopping, the wrapping, and the cooking, on top of everything else. This year (knock on wood) it’s not me though. It’s Alex, my little guy.

If it’s just a cold, I’ll be able to keep him home. It’ll be rough, with sleepless nights and plenty of whining, but we’ll make it. If it’s the flu, off to the hospital we’ll go for a nice leisurely stay (for him, he loves the hospital) and for me it’ll be running back and forth for this and that, because they don’t have the equipment to feed him, they can’t get the formula he drinks, and they can’t make up his medicine without the recipe. They also don’t have his size in diapers. Oh, and of course they don’t have sign language interpreters, and none of the nurses, nor any of the doctors (so far) know American Sign Language. It’s loads of fun for Alex – he laughs at them when they try to sign to him – unless he’s very sick, and then I receive phone calls in the middle of the night asking for translations.

But I’m getting ahead of myself, aren’t I? I certainly hope so. Wish us luck!