Life in progress

Tag Archives: Humor


by 17 Comments

#SoCS – Things that are nuts

My list of things that are nuts:

1. Me for deciding to put my clocks back before midnight and declaring this post on time. (It’s still Saturday, damn it!)

2. Buying “mixed nuts” which, nine times out of ten, are 90% peanuts. Peanuts aren’t nuts, damn it!

3. My mother’s smoking habit. Or rather, the decision that was recently made by the management of her retirement home to charge old ladies with dementia $100 a pop for smoking too close to the building. That’s $30,000 per month if she forgets ten times a day!!!!

4. Nuts. Nuts are nuts. (Does not contain peanuts.)

5. NaNoWriMo. Which I am participating in this month. Or at least I used to think it was nuts to do it. But now that I’ve figured out how to write 1,667 words per day easily (sprints, particularly whilst depriving myself of my morning coffee until I’ve written 900 words), it doesn’t seem as nuts as it used to.

6. #5 is nuts. I shouldn’t have added it to the list.

7. Living somewhere where it gets cold in the winter. Then again, at least we’re not on fire. (Thinking of California, where things are really nuts. Take care of yourselves, Californians!)

8. Christmas carols and ads on the first of November. Calm down, damn it! We’re not going to forget it’s coming!

9. Wracking my brain in the attempt to come up with more things that are nuts when I really should be writing. Or sleeping!

2019-2020 SoCS Badge by Shelley! https://www.quaintrevival.com/

This nutsy post is brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday. (It’s still Saturday, damn it!) Click the following link to see how you, too, can join in the fun! https://lindaghill.com/2019/11/01/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-nov-2-19/


by 57 Comments

One-Liner Wednesday – The Halloween Spirit

Winston is getting into the spirit.

If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our lovely badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

Badge by Laura @ riddlefromthemiddle.com


by 12 Comments

#SoCS – Oh, really?

Oh yes. I’m really sorry about the mess I made of the SoCS badge contest by not realizing the comments were turned off. I haven’t had a chance to look at any of the entries, but there are sure to be some amazing ones there. Because of the screw up, I might end up accepting more than ten … I’ll see tomorrow. I hope.

Because if tomorrow is anything like today, I’ll have my hands completely full with Alex. What a horror story that was. He’ll be nineteen years old on Wednesday, and at this point, I’m starting to doubt the behavior issues will ever stop.

The good news is the swelling in my neck seems to have subsided a bit.

Oh. You know what else? I’m getting really sick of complaining all the time. So, you want some good news?

I managed to get out tonight to see the Downton Abbey movie and it was amazing. I think the thing I really enjoyed the most was just revisiting the characters. It could have gone on for four hours and I wouldn’t have complained a bit.

And now it’s quarter to two in the morning and I think it’s time for bed. I really have to put an end to these late nights. Half the time, I look at the clock and realize how much the time has gotten past me.

As Homer Simpson would say …

SoCS badge by Pamela, at https://achronicalofhope.com/

This unfinished post is part of Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click the following link to see all the other posts in the comment section and join in! It’s fun! https://lindaghill.com/2019/10/18/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-oct-19-19/


by 48 Comments

One-Liner Wednesday – Hey, this is fun!

The following sentence is brought to you by Merriam-Webster’s Time Traveler tool:

I’m a semipornographic Norfolk terrier at a loosey-goosey garage sale.

Go to the following link and plug in your birth year to find your favourite words from the year you were born. Make a sentence out of them!

https://www.merriam-webster.com/time-traveler/2017

If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our lovely badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

Badge by Laura @ riddlefromthemiddle.com


by 16 Comments

#SoCS – Grounded

My prompt has me thinking about all the ways my kids keep me grounded.

When my mind takes off on flights of fancy, into fictional realms,

my kids bring me back.

When I think perhaps I’m meant to be rich–maybe even famous,

my kids cost me money and remind me I’m just Mom.

When I want to go out …

I realize I’m actually grounded, unable to leave the house.

Now if only they’d send me to my room.

SoCS badge by Pamela, at https://achronicalofhope.com/

This short and sweet post is brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click the following link and find out how to join in. It’s fun!  https://lindaghill.com/2019/10/11/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-oct-12-19/


by 47 Comments

One-Liner Wednesday – My dog, the scarf

When there’s no room on the loveseat, Winston jumps up on the back of it and lies across my shoulders. I swear he thinks he’s a bird.

If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our lovely badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

Badge by Laura @ riddlefromthemiddle.com


by 11 Comments

#SoCS – All the wrap

Hey! I know what you’re thinking–Linda made it to her own party (SoCS) on time for once! No? Okay, just humor me. That’s what you’re thinking, okay?

I’m writing early because I’m off to a concert tonight. No, it’s not rap. Going to see The Glorious Sons in their hometown of Kingston. I’m not sure how late I’ll be home, and I may be exhausted, so here I am. Wrapping my post up in a neat little package.

I do like wrapping things up. The feeling of completeness that comes with wrapping things–the neatness of it–is satisfying. I can’t stand wrapping presents, though. Don’t tell my family.

Especially at Christmas, because I always leave it to the last minute, at which point it feels like a bit of a waste of time. But if I wrapped the gifts and put them under the tree early, the dog would eat them. He loves eating paper. And the last thing I want to see is gift-wrapped poop sitting in the snow in my back yard.

On the other hand… wouldn’t it look better?

K, off I go. Peace, my friends.

SoCS badge by Pamela, at https://achronicalofhope.com/

This post is brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click the following link to follow along! https://lindaghill.com/2019/09/20/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-sept-21-19/


by 48 Comments

One-Liner Wednesday – Same thing

Funniest thing I heard over the weekend: from Adam, the adult son of my best friend, John.

When you go to confession, is that like a friarside chat?

If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our lovely badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

Badge by Laura @ riddlefromthemiddle.com


by 47 Comments

One-Liner Wednesday – Like one of your French Girls

Draw me like one of your French girls.

Photo depicts Winston, my beagle/Basset hound, in a half-lidded pose on the couch.

If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our lovely badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

Badge by Laura @ riddlefromthemiddle.com


by 10 Comments

#SoCS – Sofa, so good

Sitting on the couch, writing this and eating chips, it occurred to me that if I put a chip on the seat beside me, it would literally be a couch potato.

Couch–such a versatile word. As a verb it can mean how you phrase or word something … how you couch it.

The advice goes that if you want to write a book, you’ve got to get your butt in the chair.

But I sit on the couch to write.

Which means I can couch it “get your butt on the couch.”

Which is what I’m doing now: writing with my couch potatoes.

Sofa, so good.

I think it’s about time I couched myself in bed.

SoCS badge by Pamela, at https://achronicalofhope.com/

This silly post was written for Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click the following link to find all the other posts linked in the comments and join in! It’s fun! https://lindaghill.com/2019/08/30/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-august-31-19/