Life in progress

Tag Archives: Humor


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Master – #JusJoJan Jot #6

I am not master of my domain.

No, I’m not talking about in the Seinfeld sense, so you can please just wipe that idea from your brain right away. I’m talking about my house. My home. The place that rather than hang my hat, I usually toss it on a piece of furniture because there’s some crisis or another taking shape the second I walk in the door.

Someone once said to me that a perfect house in which children live is a house with miserable children. I’m not sure that’s true–maybe there are parents who are just that organized. If so, and if you’re out there, tips are welcome.

Or maybe I just really need a hat rack.

This very short, very late post was brought to you by the prompt word “master,” given us today by Sadje! Click here to find her Just Jot it January post and say hi!

To see how you, too, can join in, click the following link. You’ll find all the other participants’ links in the comment section. Try it–it’s fun! https://lindaghill.com/2019/01/06/jusjojan-2019-daily-prompt-jan-6th/


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#SoCS & #JusJoJan Jot #5 – Sip

As I sip my morning coffee I wonder if maybe I’m a sap for thinking I could pull off a family supper tonight. Maybe I can find a sop to make it SEP.

Wow, that was a stretch. Bonus points to me! Thanks, Dan.

I had planned a family supper tonight but I don’t have any food yet. I had no idea that “sop” was a synonym for “bribe,” and of course if you clicked my link in the prompt, you’ll know “SEP” is an abbreviation in the urban dictionary for “somebody else’s problem.” Chances of making MY family dinner somebody else’s problem are pretty slim.

My eldest son, having developed an interest in cooking, has been making all our big meals of late, but he worked all night, so I assume he’s sleeping.

Our family supper was supposed to be on New Year’s Day, as it always is, but with Alex just freshly out of the hospital and still coughing, I didn’t want to take the chance that he’d pass something on to my mother who would take it back to her retirement home and thus make me responsible for an outbreak.

I’m terrified of doing this every time I bring her out. Because you never know what germs are lurking. You know, the sorts of germs that you pick up but you don’t know you’ve got until a cold settles in three days later.

It would be handy if we could get sick immediately after picking up a virus, wouldn’t it? It would help prevent the spread. But viruses are sneaky. They work with our bodies’ immune systems–take advantage of it for their own ends.

Okay, this post is going downhill, isn’t it?

Where did I start? Oh yeah. Coffee. Nectar of the gods. Time to pour another cup.

SoCS badge by Pamela, at https://achronicalofhope.com/

This post is part of Stream of Consciousness Saturday and Just Jot it January! Click the link to see how you, too, can join in! https://lindaghill.com/2019/01/04/the-friday-reminder-for-socs-jusjojan-2019-daily-prompt-jan-5th/


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My 2018 and my 2019 – Jot #1

Is it bad that I have no idea what I’ve been doing for the last year? Yeah, probably.

I know I’ve been working a lot. Writing a bit, and spending far too much time sitting. My FitBit is threatening to leave home without me.

On a positive note, I did give away a stunning 25,000 copies of The Magician’s Curse. That number still astounds me.

And my kids are all still here with me, which is something I am grateful for every minute of the day.

I think I’ve already mentioned that I’d like to publish at least three books in 2019, and I hope to learn how to effectively sell them. I want to get off my butt and get more exercise … catch up to my FitBit before it finds a more active wrist to attach itself to.

And I’d like to hang on to my kids. Even if they decide to move out, I’ll be happy as long as they’re still in the world with me.

This post is part of Just Jot it January! Click the link to find the rules and see how you can join in the fun! https://lindaghill.com/2019/01/01/jusjojan-2019-daily-prompt-jan-1st/


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Update on Alex #2

I woke up from nine hours of sleep this morning and called the hospital before I got out of bed. The nurse I spoke to was a nice lady named Heather who introduced herself as someone who used to work at Alex’s school, so she knows a bit of sign language.

She told me he had a good night and was up early, out of bed, and following his nurse (the one on shift from last night) around in the corridors. He got tired of his IV, probably when another IV pole with his feeding pump was added to the mix, so he unhooked the IV. They left it off.

When Heather came in at 7:00, he took one look at her and knowing she had the ability to tell him off in ASL, he went back to bed.

“That was a couple of hours ago though,” she told me. “Now he’s following me around.”

He was doing okay, so I decided to have a shower and take my time getting to the hospital. Only to immediately be told to go home when I got there … by Alex. I sent this text to my best friend, John:

At the hospital waiting to see the doctor. Alex wants me to go home. I’m cramping his style. Sitting alone in his room while he hangs out with the nurses.

To which John replied:

I can sympathize. It’s hard to woo a nurse with your mom around.

So he’s obviously feeling better. But they wanted to keep him one more night for observation. His oxygen levels are still very low when he’s laying down, his heart rate is still through the roof, and he’s still working to breathe.

Hopefully he’ll be home tomorrow and all the heart issues will have arisen from the combination of the pneumonia and the extra drugs. And hopefully the antibiotics will work their miracle.

Thank you again for all your awesome well-wishes. I appreciate each and every one.


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One-Liner Wednesday – More appliance humor

Conversation between me and my oldest son …

Me: Are you going to eat supper with me tonight?

Son: No, I’m already unthawing some sausages.

Me: You know “unthawing” means freezing, right?

Son: …

Me: That’s it. From now on it shall be known not as the freezer but as the unthaw-er.

Son: Yeah, yeah.

I have way too much fun at my kids’ expense.

If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our lovely badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

#1linerWeds badge by Cheryl, at https://dreamingreality646941880.wordpress.com/

 


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#SoCS – Hairier than expected

Thought I wasn’t going to show up, didn’t you?

For a day that was supposed to be filled with writing, editing, maybe a little Christmas shopping, and a whole other lot of productive stuff, it kinda wasn’t.

Because I’m kinda looking after Alex again. For the sixth weekend in a row.

His dad was going to pick him up Friday night. He really was going to. But he got stuck on the highway for two hours, waiting for the fire department to put out a truck.

Source: Twitter-OPP EAST

So he turned around and went back home the moment he had the chance.

And I will be seven weeks without a break. Or maybe eight. I dunno. I never know.

So it’s been a hairy day. Doing stuff with Alex that he’d been expecting to do with his dad. Like playing Wii Party.

Yes, we had fun. But I didn’t get much writing done, nor much editing. And I didn’t get to the store.

I really have to start my Christmas shopping soon. Do you ever wish you could leave it all until everything goes on sale after Christmas? Do things go on sale after Christmas in the US? Here we have Boxing Day sales. Boxing Week sales. A hairy time in retail. It’s the Black Friday of Canada. AND, there’s no Christmas music. Bonus.

And no hairy-chinned guy in a red suit, which means Alex isn’t afraid to go to the mall. Now there’s a real bonus. 😉

SoCS badge by Pamela, at https://achronicalofhope.com/

This very very late (almost 2 in the morning) post is brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click the link to find all the other hairy posts and join in! https://lindaghill.com/2018/12/14/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-dec-15-18/


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One-Liner Wednesday – It’s a Friendly Appliance

Every time I broil something on maximum in my oven, I’m overwhelmed with the urge to say “hello” to it.

*photo shows oven on “hi.”

If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our lovely badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

#1linerWeds badge by Cheryl, at https://dreamingreality646941880.wordpress.com/


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#SoCS – It’s the Most Musical Time of the Year

Is there a more musical time of year than Christmas time? Whether you’re Christian or not, whether you celebrate the holiday or not, if you go shopping, you’re subject to the music of Christmas.

I worked in a department store one year–Eaton’s!–for the holiday season as a temp. Drove me around the bend. I loved working there, though. My helpful side is never brighter when I have someone to help and engage in small talk with in person.

There are always a few songs I hope to hear, but most of them are sooo overdone.

Did I talk about this last year? I think I did. My bad.

The only other time of year I think of as remotely musical is the summer. Certain songs, whether they’re actually about summer or not, remind me of summers past. I think it has to do with listening to the radio a lot more when I wasn’t in school, when I was a kid. I only listen to the radio in the car now. It’s funny that I often know the latest songs before my son does.  This is the last song I introduced him to.

Apparently I’m the cool mom.

At least I like to think so.

You try listening to “It’s Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas” after that one.

Heehee.

SoCS badge by Pamela, at https://achronicalofhope.com/

This “about to get heavy” post is brought to you (early!) by Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click the following link to find all the other posts in the comments and join in yourself. It’s fun!! https://lindaghill.com/2018/12/07/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-dec-8-18/


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One-Liner Wednesday – #writerslife

The definition of what it is to be a writer:

Needing to pee in the morning and running to the bathroom thinking “the pressure is intense,” and then wondering if you can write an entire novel about a woman who needs to pee all the time.

Nothing is without potential.

If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our lovely badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

#1linerWeds badge by Cheryl, at https://dreamingreality646941880.wordpress.com/


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#SoCS – Playing with Matches

It has occurred to me that many board games, both electronic and oldies but goodies like finding the same two cards, actually encourage playing with matches.

Think about it.

Honestly, I had no idea how many words start with “ma” until I sat down to write this post. I was like, how do I choose?

So I enjoyed writing my NaNo novel so much that I’ve decided to write a sequel to it. I started it today. I’m hoping to get it finished, slowly but surely this time, by the end of January. If all goes well, I’ll be able to come up with a third book to make it a trilogy. My eventual goal is to publish at least three books per year. I know I have them in me. And I think I’ve found the trick to finding the time to write them. Every day at breakfast. Writing less than 900 words a day–that’s half an hour per day–I can write six novels per year.

Finding time to edit them, on the other hand, is a bit more of a challenge at this point.

What I really need is more exercise. I have to try to get out and walk. Fortunately, Christmas is coming. Lots of walking to be done at the mall.

I bought another colouring calendar. I’m a glutton for punishment.

Okay, it’s one in the morning. I’m a day late again for my own prompt. Not only that, but I just realized I didn’t even get my own bonus points.

I have management issues. Obviously.

SoCS badge by Pamela, at https://achronicalofhope.com/

This totally random post is brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Sunday Saturday. Click the following link to find all the other posts in the comments, and join in! It’s fun! https://lindaghill.com/2018/11/30/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-dec-1-18/