Life in progress

Tag Archives: Humor


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One-Liner Wednesday – Lemons

“If life hands you lemons… make lemonade. Then… try to find someone to whom life has handed vodka…”
― Les Edgerton

 

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If you would like to participate, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do,
you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our very cool badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

#1linerWeds badge by nearlywes.com

#1linerWeds badge by nearlywes.com


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#SoCS – Project-ing

I hadn’t realized until now how much time I was spending on the project I just finished. It was an awesome 150,000 word urban fantasy novel that I enjoyed working on immensely, but the energy it took? Maybe I need to learn to self-regulate a bit.

I mean, I’m sitting down now drinking a bottle glass of wine (no editing, honest 😉 ), and it occurred to me that this is the first time in almost two months that I’ve allowed myself such a luxury. Through all this time I’ve spend editing this novel, I’ve held back from relaxing — not even listening to music — in case I had an hour to work. I’ve worked on it at breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and right up until I’ve gone to bed at midnight. Not that whole time, but for what adds up to four to sometimes eight hours in a day.

In exchange for all this, I have experience. I have a better idea of how to project the amount of time it will take me to edit a novel of this size. Of course it all depends on the level of editing involved too, but I won’t bore you with those details. Suffice to say its given me a better understanding of my chosen career. You know, the one other than being an author, which may or may not earn me millions of dollars and scads of loyal fans. Haha.

I know I have a while to go before I can make any serious money in the editing field… and perhaps stream of consciousness writing that I’m morally obligated not to edit isn’t the time to talk about an editing career… but what the hell.

Cheers!

socsbadge2016-17

This somewhat tipsy post is part of Stream of Consciousness Saturday, written Friday night and scheduled for early Saturday morning when it’s still a decent time to be drinking wine and not yet coffee. Here’s the link https://lindaghill.com/2017/03/03/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-mar-417/ Join in today! It’s fun!


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One-Liner Wednesday – Psych!

I haven’t left the cranberries in my fridge since Christmas dinner to conduct a science experiment. They’re there for a psychological experiment, to see which of my family members will get sick of seeing them there first and throw them away. On the other hand, maybe they’ll grow a brain and a spine and leave on their own. My money’s on the cranberries.

help-me

 _____________________________________________________________________________

If you would like to participate, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do,
you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our very cool badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

#1linerWeds badge by nearlywes.com

#1linerWeds badge by nearlywes.com


by 34 Comments

One-Liner Wednesday – Rock is Dead, Yippie!

My new fridge magnet:

img_20170221_231027

rock is dead – long live paper and scissors

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If you would like to participate, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do,
you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our very cool badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

#1linerWeds badge by nearlywes.com

#1linerWeds badge by nearlywes.com


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One-Liner Wednesday – A Momentary Lapse of Reason

Whilst in the grip of apparent madness, I allowed Alex to take a picture of me:

madness

Linda G. and Winston Church

I’m the one on the left.

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If you would like to participate, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do,
you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our very cool badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

#1linerWeds badge by nearlywes.com

#1linerWeds badge by nearlywes.com


by 31 Comments

One-Liner Wednesday – To Pooh a Villain

I often come up with a line for something I’m writing — a novel, a story, a blog post — when I’m not near my computer, so I jot it down on my phone. However, my phone has this predictive text thing that remembers what I’ve written, and I don’t want it to remember any questionable words: you never know when you’re going to text someone the wrong thing by accident.

On this particular occasion, I wanted to write down a line that’s perfect for the villain of the novel I’m writing. With the change of a couple of letters, I was able to give my phone a good word to remember and still remember my badass villain’s line:

screenshot_2017-02-07-21-48-41

Being right gets me honey.

_____________________________________________________________________________

If you would like to participate, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do,
you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our very cool badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

#1linerWeds badge by nearlywes.com

#1linerWeds badge by nearlywes.com


by 47 Comments

One-Liner Wednesday – Creepy or Comforting?

You wake up from a disturbing dream and go to the kitchen for a glass of milk; on the fridge you find this

nightmare

Creepy or comforting?

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If you would like to participate, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do,
you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our very cool badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

#1linerWeds badge by nearlywes.com

#1linerWeds badge by nearlywes.com


by 5 Comments

Just Jot It Jan 30 – History

Everyone knows the saying, Those who forget history are doomed to repeat it (not necessarily the exact quote – it’s too late at night to look it up).  When we hear it, it’s usually said in the context of the history of the world. Things like when Germany voted in Hitler… that sort of stuff.

But it’s true on a much smaller scale. We get it every time we learn something by experience. From falling in love with the wrong person, all the way down to walking into the corner of the damned bed frame every time we enter the spare bedroom. *rubs bruise* Hell, even Pavlov’s dog learned from what had happened before.

That’s just one direction though. I’ve been thinking about this for a while, and I’ve come up with a theory. (It’s probably not new, but if someone else has already thought of it, I’m not aware.) You’d better be sitting down for this one.

What if our whole world is some higher power’s history gone wrong for the umpteenth time? What if whoever built the pyramids went through all the same crap we’re going through, and all they lacked was something other than the pyramids themselves to prove they existed? What if… what if the best thing we have to prove we were here is plastic? That would make the pyramid people better than us! That would mean we’re a worse, more throw-away version, of someone stubbing their toe on the furniture than… than the dinosaurs!!

Yeah, I need more sleep.

compromise

 

Thanks go to KL Caley for our prompt today, “history.” Check out her blog here: https://new2writing.wordpress.com/about-me/

And don’t forget it’s still not to late to join in the Just Jot It January challenge! Click here for details: https://lindaghill.com/2017/01/29/jusjojan-daily-prompt-jan-29th17/


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Just Jot It Jan 27 – Incomplete

The word “incomplete” has been running around in my head all day. Somewhere at the back, where it hasn’t been in the way much. I’ve been trying to figure out what, in my life, is complete. The final conclusion is nothing. But why?

Well, if I really think about it (in the front of my head), if something is complete, I usually set it aside. And sometimes I forget it. This is a good thing, of course, if the complete thing is not a thing I wanted to keep anyway. So what of the things I do wish to hold onto?

I wouldn’t want a relationship to be complete, because what would be the challenge after that? Things that aren’t challenging become boring. Take games, for example. An unchallenging game, like playing Crazy Eights against myself, would quickly turn into a game of 52-card pickup. For me at least. That’s why they invented Solitaire. I’m convinced of it.

And even worse, who would want someone else to complete them? Oh yeah, the end of Jerry Maguire is romantic and all. But just imagine it. Being completed. You wouldn’t need to get up in the morning.

“Honey, breakfast is on the table!”

“Not coming down today, Sweetheart.”

“But, I made pancakes! And coffee!”

“Nope! I’m done. You did me!”

That would be awful! I’m so glad I’m incomplete.

compromise

Many thanks go to Cyn for our prompt today, “incomplete.” You can check out her latest post here: https://cynk.wordpress.com/2017/01/27/fitness-friday-secret-identity/ Go say hi!

And Just Jot It January is still a fun challenge, even if the month is almost complete. Why? ‘Coz you can join in any time! Click here for details and to read all the awesome posts: https://lindaghill.com/2017/01/27/jusjojan-daily-prompt-jan-27th17/


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Just Jot It Jan 24 – Elusive

“Any word you have to hunt for in a thesaurus is the wrong word.” ~ Stephen King

I used to agree with this wholeheartedly. I still do agree with the gist of it; if it’s not a word you regularly use in your everyday vocabulary, then you’re writing outside of your own voice. And your authorial voice is, arguably, the one thing people read you for. You as opposed to the thousands of other authors who write in the same genre, the same tropes over and over again.

But now? Now that I can’t remember my kids’ names half the time and I often get stuck on a word I know I know, but I just can’t spit it out? The thesaurus has become my favourite book. Can’t come up with that word I use all the time that means “thingamajig”? Look it up in the thesaurus and there it is. It’s a “doohickey”!

Sorry, Mr. King, but I can’t live without my thesaurus. And no, it’s not the wrong word. It’s just the word that went for a stroll. The one I can’t find. You know, the “elusive” one. Yeah, that’s the word.

compromise

Thanks to Evelyn of Eclectic Evelyn for today’s prompt word, “elusive.” You can find her latest post here: http://www.eclecticevelyn.com/welcome-snapchat-wordlesswednesday/

And an enormous thank you to Judy, the hostess with the mostess for the last few days. I can’t express how much I’ve appreciated her help. You can find Judy’s elusive post here: http://www.edwinasepisodes.com/jujojan-january-24th-elusive/ Let’s have a big round of applause for Judy!! 😀

And finally, here’s the daily post with today’s Just Jot It January prompt. Click and join in! https://lindaghill.com/2017/01/23/jusjojan-daily-prompt-jan-24th-elusive/