Life in progress

Tag Archives: Humor


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What Type of Believer Are You?

There are different types of believers in this world. Those who are religious (or not) are usually the first to come to mind. Some believe devoutly in one political party over another, others are positive there are aliens hovering, just waiting for the right time to be taken to our leader (which may or may not have something to do with the example before). But none of these have anything to do with my ponderings, nor my question to you.

This morning, while I was preparing my son’s tube-feeding, I started thinking about the difference between people who believe in superstitions versus those who swear things that happen which are related to one another are mere coincidence. And then I thought about Murphy’s Law. You know, the one that goes something like, “Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.” I then started to wonder if there’s any correlation between the pessimistic old Irishman and the half full/half empty glass.

Keeping in mind the fact that I was thinking all this at 5:30am, I’m sure you’ll bear with me through my semi-conclusions to this riot of contemplation. Right? Okay. Here we go.

If a person believes in Mr. Murphy’s doom and gloom prophesy, he (using male pronoun for no other reason than ease) is more likely to be superstitious. Why? Because it’s his only defense against a probable negative outcome. It follows then (or at least it did in the wee hours of this morning), that superstitious people are glass half-empty people. So, Murphy = superstition = pessimist.

Alternatively, if a person does not believe the infamous Mr. Murphy had a leg to stand on, then she (see above pronoun explanation) is more likely to believe that relatable happenings are coincidence. Why? Because why not. This happens, that happens, chances are if we do it right in the first place then it’ll be okay. You see where I’m going next… she is the glass half-full person. The coincidence believer. No Murphy = coincidence = optimist.

All cut and dry, right? It is until I take into account that I believe in some superstitions and most of the time our dear old Murphy AND I’m an optimistic glass half-full type. What to do with this confusing information… Hmm… Oh I know! Ask my wonderful friends in WordPress land! Where do you fit in to all of this gobbledigook?

To make it easier, I’ve created a poll.

Please answer it as best you can.

Further to the poll, I’d love to hear your thoughts on this. Am I way out to lunch? (Or breakfast, as the case may be.) Should I keep my 5:30am thoughts to myself? Let me know. And don’t forget to vote! This is science, people!

 


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One-Liner Wednesday – I’m driving here!

Last night, as I was driving down the main laneway in a parking lot, an entire family stepped out in front of me. I stopped rather close to them by necessity and the woman yelled at me through my open window, “We’ve got kids here, you could wait your turn!” I hmphed and drove away. When I got home, my adult son told me I should have retorted, “I’ve got a car here, you could wait yours!”

From now on I’m not leaving home without my 21 year old son. I’m sure he’ll be pleased with that arrangement.

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Anyone who would like to try it out, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Have fun!


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Envy me if you must…

This is the sort of thing I wake up to in the morning:

Minion stuck in a roll of paper towel

Minion stuck in a roll of paper towel

It’s a hard life.

Happy Thanksgiving to all my Canadian friends!


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Creepy or Convenient? Part 2

Google is at it again, reading my gmail. You might remember the first time, when Google noticed I had written the word “attached” in the body of my email but I hadn’t attached anything. This time it waited until the right time to pounce.

I received a notification yesterday to let me know the good people (computers?) at their organization had added the flight information for my upcoming trip to Tokyo to my Google calendar. So I won’t forget I’m going, I suppose.

So I have decided: If I receive an email suggesting that I drink less before I go to bed so I won’t have to get up to go to the bathroom at 1:37 am, 3:03 am, and 4:26 am again the next night, I’m going offline permanently.


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#SoCS – Living

Living is really only part of what we do on this planet, isn’t it? When you think that most things (and if you ask some, they’ll say all things) we do affects something or someone else, our “living” goes beyond just existence. Our attitude has a lot to do with how we affect other people … and other things. Are things any less important than people? It depends. The rock you kick down the street because your bored and you’re walking (have you ever kicked a rock all the way home from school or a friend’s house? I used to do it all the time as a kid) may not seem like much of a big deal. But if you get mad and kick it and it breaks a window, your attitude has affected a person, not just a thing. Unless the window is attached to an abandoned house, in which case it probably won’t matter to anyone. But what if you kicked every stone out of someone’s gravel driveway? Okay, I’m pushing it here, aren’t I?

So I’m making up a new word. We don’t just “live,” we “attitude.” Like it or not, my new word is “attituding” as in “Stop attituding!” Feel free to use it any time. My treat.

(Half a point for making up a new word?) hehe

This deep yet rambling post has been brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click the link and join in today! https://lindaghill.com/2015/10/09/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-oct-1015/

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One-Liner Wednesday – Tastes like Steve!

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Butter Lovers Flavour Popcorn! Taste varies from person to person.

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Anyone who would like to try it out, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Have fun!


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Who Needs Glue When You Can Sniff Fruit Flies?

I’m completely and utterly discouraged tonight.

I had a weekend off but had very little sleep, but that’s not why I’m discouraged.

I got barely any work done on my novels, but that’s not why either.

I have a sink full of dishes that I haven’t the energy to do, but that’s not entirely what’s got me down.

I killed a fruit fly this afternoon by breathing it forcefully (by accident) up my nose and blowing it back out into a kleenex – that was actually the highlight of my day.

I want to go to bed but I have to wait for kids to go to sleep, but that’s not what’s really killing me.

I have so much to do that I don’t know where to start, but that’s not the worst of it.

What really has me discouraged? It’s all of the above combined. Except the fruit fly thing. That’s just funny.

How was your weekend? Please tell me it was better than mine.


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One-Liner Wednesday – Because seriously, no one wants to be around me

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You know you’ve finally made it to the party of life when you get insulted by a fortune cookie. Thanks, Confucius.

 

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Anyone who would like to try it out, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds!

4. Have fun!


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SoCS – Distemper

Distemper, datemper… which temper do you want? You know, sometimes you just want to edit. But you can’t. So here we go.

I’ve been sitting here for the past fifteen minutes trying to come up with a word with “temp” in it that doesn’t mean it will soon go away: temporary, CONtemporary (new now, old tomorrow), tempus fugit (time flies), temperature (when does that ever stay consistent?) (okay, if you live in the desert maybe it pretty much does), template. Template! It’s something you use so that you can recreate the same thing over and over – without changing it!

Now what?

I suppose I can still talk about how things change, but that’s so depressing, isn’t it? Unless I’m sad, then I want things to change for the better. Contentment is so rare though, isn’t it? When I am content I try my best to stay in the moment, to remember details, and to enjoy it to the fullest. Contentment scares me though. I have to say I’m pretty happy with the way my life is at the moment. All three of my kids live at home, and they’re all relatively healthy (Alex has a lingering cough, but it’s nothing life-threatening) and they’re all relatively happy as well, and busy with their lives. It all makes me wonder what’s going to happen next. I try not to speculate. Again, stay in the moment. Just stay in the moment, Linda. Enjoy it. Even when I’m being kept awake at 2 am by a coughing kid… Yeah.

Sometimes enjoying my contentment is more of a challenge than others.

I have a hard time staying seated. When I’m writing or editing I have to get up at least every half an hour or so. I sometimes walk into the kitchen, see that there’s really nothing to munch on (because I’ve been smart enough not to buy anything to munch on) and go back to the computer empty-handed. That’s a good thing. I could so easily gain a hundred pounds without even trying if I gave in to all the temptations. Hey, there’s another word that’s not temporary… or is it? I suppose if temptations were constant they’d grind us down so much that they would no longer be temptations but reality instead. So yeah, temporary.

I’m going to temporarily leave reality now… (which means temporary unconsciousness… stream of unconsciousness Saturday… SoUS… French for suck… this really sucks, doesn’t it? Hahahahahahahaha!)

This ramble has been brought to you by SoCS: https://lindaghill.com/2015/09/11/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-sept-1215/ Join in earlier than I do next week and have some fun!

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SoCS – Making Light

I wonder when the phrase “making light of a situation” began to take on a mostly negative connotation. I try to find the positive in most things. Making light of them induces, in me at least, the idea that all is not always dark. That there is always a light at the end of a tunnel… that nothing is absolute. But then it’s so much easier to see darkness, isn’t it?

Light can blind us. Imagine being so happy that you can’t see any possibility of misery in the future. But then misery hits and things are never darker. Does it mean that we should look for darkness in the light as well as light in the darkness? Perhaps.

But back to my first thought – I have to wonder if the coming of our politically correct society caused the increase in seeing “making light” a bad thing rather than good. Everywhere I go these days, people are getting up in arms about this or that. Finding insult in everything under the sun. I sometimes wish we could just all “be,” without constantly being criticized for what we are and things we do and say. We’ll never please everyone, but what happened to Thumper’s old line, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all”? “Nice” is such a rarity these days, isn’t it? In society in general I mean.

And so it’s become the norm for me to make light of situations only when I’m at home, where the people I know and love know me, and know that I mean no harm. Occasionally I’ll take a chance when I’m commenting on a blog or on other social media, but I’m always nervous that there’s someone out there who will take offense and make me feel like an awful person.

People need to lighten up.

This post is part of SoCS: https://lindaghill.com/2015/09/04/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-sept-515/ Anyone can join in the fun – click the link to find out how!

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