Anyone who would like to try it out, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday, if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.
The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are as follows:
I never did like averages. When they say, “the average age is between (this) and (that)” it always made me think about those who made the average what it is. For instance, the average is between 25 and 50. What about the 10s and the 75s? Nobody ever thinks about them, because they’re not in the average – but they’re just as important in making the average as anything else.
In sports I always root for the underdog. It’s why I’m a Toronto Maple Leafs fan. You remember them? The famous golfers? They’re always the first out on the greens every season. Haha. (They’re going to win the cup next year, by the way.)
I can see the appeal in being considered average. Having two special needs kids, the word “normal” has a unique set of meanings to me – and no, my kids are not average. In some ways they’re far above.
And I certainly don’t want my epic novel to be average. It’s gonna shine.
So what’s the opposite of the word “average”? Is it unique? Is it special? Is it simply “outside the norm”? Underdog? Is there one?
A werewolf and a vampire go into a bar. The vampire orders a glass of red. The werewolf eats the bartender. The vampire says, “Next time, I’m buying.”
I have no idea where that came from, other than somewhere inside my (opposite of average) brain. Thank you very much.
As many of you may remember, I fell while delivering papers last December during an ice storm (I’m stupidly dedicated to my job) and received a concussion when I hit my head on a concrete step. (That was a fun post: you should read it.) When I went down that fateful day, I also landed with a concrete step across my shoulders. Since then, I have suffered with shoulder pain.
You might be wondering by now what the title of this post is all about.
I have a hard time sleeping because of my right shoulder. If I lay on it, it hurts. Same thing when I lay on my back – and that’s not a comfortable position for me anyway. If I lay on my left side, I have to try to keep my right shoulder straight. If I leave my arm resting on my body, it falls off. If I prop my side up with my hand on the mattress, my wrist hurts, and if I put my arms together with my elbows touching, my shoulder still isn’t straight enough.
I finally figured out the solution this morning. A sleeping companion!
No, not a man. Get yer minds out of the gutter.
What I need is, a teddy bear. One big enough that if I keep it close to my chest it will keep my shoulders straight. Seems the perfect solution! So today I’m going to go through the boxes from my failed garage sale of a few weeks back and dig out an old stuffed animal. I have an appointment with the doctor on Monday. Hopefully a more permanent fix is somewhere in my future. I’ll let you know how it goes.
My dad had a fantastic sense of humour. Very dry, very British. One of his favourite things to do was string people along with a story. He once, at a party, had one of his friends convinced that he had an awful disease, only to deliver the punchline minutes later that it was the “Dreaded Lurgie.” It’s a wonder anyone ever took him seriously. He also had a habit of making me spit my tea through my nose on a nightly basis. My mother wasn’t impressed.
It’s something I inherited–that sense of humour–though I don’t tend to torture people. I love making people laugh. I’m actually pretty good at delivering some kind of punchline just before I walk out a door. Always leave ’em laughing. And so naturally my kids have inherited it too. My ex, their father, has a great wit about him. My eldest son, Fred, was on the improv team in high school and the other two, with all their special needs, are sometimes the funniest people I know. Chris, as a matter of fact, just last night was singing “Hellfire” from the movie Hunchback of Notre Dame in the voice of Mickey Mouse, liberally replacing odd words with the words, “chicken” and “clubhouse.” He ended up sounding like Ethel Merman.
Alex is just a ham. This isn’t him at his best, but you get the idea. Especially the bit at the end. It’s a pirate hat, by the way.
Often I use their sense of humour to my advantage. Before a situation can get out of hand I’ll try to make them laugh, and usually it works.
Badge by: Doobster at Mindful Digressions
Stream of Consciousness Saturday is open for everyone to participate. Learn how, here!
Anyone who would like to try it out, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday, if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.
The rules that I’ve made for myself for “One-Liner Wednesday” are as follows:
I realize many of my current followers weren’t around for the introduction of Nosehair–or actually The Tree Formerly Known As Nosehair–so I’ll provide a little background.
It all started with a tree that I walk past daily on my paper route who has a face. This is Nosehair when he actually had a nosehair:
Since that time the neighbourhood has been mostly quiet. I have a little chat with The Tree Formerly Known As Nosehair most days as I walk by. I’m sure the people who live in the house he stands in front of think I’m a little nuts, but the squirrels like me.
So where is this all leading to? The news! The Tree Formerly Known As Nosehair has his first tooth!
His first tooth!
Doesn’t he look handsome? *sniff sniff* My baby’s growing up!
What’s the best (or rather, worst) backhanded compliment you’ve ever received? If you can’t think of any — when’s the last time someone paid you a compliment you didn’t actually deserve?
Anyone who would like to try it out, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday, if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.
The rules that I’ve made for myself for “One-Liner Wednesday” are as follows:
Anyone who would like to try it out may feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post. If you do, please ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday, if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet. It’s a great way to meet new bloggers!
The rules that I’ve made for myself for “One-Liner Wednesday” are as follows:
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