Life in progress

Tag Archives: psychological


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SoCS – Ever Ready

The word “ready” has been tiptoeing around my head all day. Doing a ballet, actually. Unfortunately the pirouettes caused me to have to pop a couple of Tylenols, but I had them at the ready. So that was okay.

“Ready,” I’ve decided, should be an emotion. It’s an abstract sort of thing – ready isn’t something you can touch. It’s not something you can do. It’s the cusp of doing something… the edge of an action. When you’re teetering you may take the plunge before you’re ready just to find that you were ready after all. The opposite can be disastrous.

A machine can be ready but it still takes a human being (most of the time) to make it do what it’s ready for. Is the human ready? What decides us if we’re ready? Desperation, definitely. It’s a gathering of the emotions, isn’t it? Sometimes the gathering is slow – a culmination of years of want, of desire, of need. Sometimes the choice comes upon us suddenly, as in “it’s now or never!” Regardless, we take logic into account (sometimes), but in the end, “ready” is a feeling.

So next time you ask someone how they feel, give them the option: are you sad? happy? scared? content? ready?

And yeah, they’ll probably look at you with their eyebrows scrunched up in the middle and say, “Ready for what?” To which you may reply, “It was just something I read somewhere.”

This tired example of stream of consciousness writing is part of SoCS: https://lindaghill.com/2015/07/31/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-august-115/ Be sure to join in next week!

Badge by: Doobster at Mindful Digressions

Badge by: Doobster at Mindful Digressions


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One-Liner Wednesday – Throw ‘Em a Pool Noodle

You can’t save someone who lacks the desire to have an active role in his or her own rescue.

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Anyone who would like to try it out, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Make it either funny or inspirational.

Have fun!


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X is for eXecute

I’m already cheating once, by not using an actual “X” word and I refuse to cheat again by not using the second-last word on the left hand page that I turned to in my thesaurus as I stated I would at the beginning of this challenge. However. Both the second-last and the last words are the same – there are so many different synonyms for “execute” to mean decapitate, electrocute, and generally put to death, and “execute” meaning to carry out, implement, and generally put into effect, that they separated them. Guess which one is second to last? Yes, I get to talk about beheadings today. This is bound to get gruesome… Go me!

You have to wonder how much they must pay executioners. Can you imagine doing that for a living? I suppose there are some people out there who would enjoy the idea of putting people to death, but I wouldn’t imagine they actually hire those sorts of people. Anyone who relishes the idea of murder enough to actually carry out the act is probably on the other side of the bars anyway. So then who gets to do it? An individual who believes so faithfully in the justice system that he (or she–I’m going with “he” for the remainder of this post) can justify the task in his own conscience? Someone who’s being paid a fortune?

Still, I’m trying to picture the sleep patterns of a person who has enough money to buy anything he wants because of this high-paying “dream job” only the one thing he can’t buy out of is the image running through his mind as he lays his head upon the pillow each night.

How much would you demand to do the job? They couldn’t pay me enough.


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V is for Verity – and SoCS

I’ve heard the word “verity” before but it’s not one I was familiar with. But what a wonderful word it is! According to my thesaurus it’s a noun, synonymous with actuality, authenticity, truth, and truthfulness, among a few others.  Here’s the link to the dictionary definition: http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/verity

Verity, as it turns out, is a huge factor in my life. I strive to live as authentically as I can. I’m not one who has ever seen the point in telling untruths – they serve no one from what I can see. Another of the synonyms is “validity.” How can one verify the validity of an untruth? Okay sure, the occasional white lie so as not to hurt someone is an exception, but things like telling people that I’ve done something in the past that I actually haven’t done; sure I’ve been bungee jumping! I’ve even jumped out of a plane! No. Just no. I have had enough adventures and experiences without making any up. (Just to clarify, I have never, nor will I ever jump off anything high enough to warrant safety equipment. Eighteen inches is plenty, thanks. And even then, I’m afraid of straining an ankle.)

Not that I’m judging people who do create their own adventures in their minds. I’m sure they have their reasons; I understand the desire to impress someone I’m meeting for the first time. I suppose for me part of it is the fear of being caught out in a lie. That’s an awful feeling, isn’t it? I remember, vaguely, the first and only time I lied to someone to impress them. I was a child at the time, maybe around eight years of age. I felt guilty immediately and vowed never to do it again.

There are many ways to live with verity apart from being truthful to others. Being true to one’s own nature is another. I found that having a friend–a manipulative, narcissistic friend–who once upon a time convinced me to do things and act in ways that were against my true nature was one of the darkest times in my life. I began to not trust myself–my own feelings and my authentic actions–and I did things that simply weren’t me. Thank goodness I’m away from such an influence now.

In the story that is our lives, verity is a great thing to have and to hold on to, not just for ourselves but for the people around us and especially our children. How do you strive for verity in your life?

This post is loosely related to the SoCS prompt, found here: https://lindaghill.com/2015/04/24/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-april-2515/ Click on the link and join in today!

Badge by: Doobster at Mindful Digressions

Badge by: Doobster at Mindful Digressions


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T is for Titter

Another fun word thanks to my thesaurus and the page I flipped to today! 😀

Titter means laugh, but I always imagine it more to be done from behind a hand, hidden lest anyone should catch you doing it. It’s a sneaky laugh, a giggle caused by something that shouldn’t be laughed at, or something just plain naughty.

It reminds me of my dad who once, while putting up curtains over the kitchen sink, fell in – why he was up there when the sink was full of water I have no idea. I was a child at the time. But for years we talked about “that time my dad fell in the kitchen sink.” He was the sort of person who loved to laugh at himself, so there was no tittering going on there.

There are people we can laugh at when they do something stupid or hurt themselves and there are people who would just as soon hurt us back if we were to laugh at them openly. I wonder what it is in a person’s psyche that makes them one way or the other. Is it childhood experience – being bullied for instance? Is it what we grew up seeing how our parents reacted to being laughed at? One way or the other, I always try to gauge another’s sensitivities before I laugh at them. Sometimes it’s not easy to hide that little teehee…

What kind of person are you? I know it depends on the circumstance sometimes, but generally, do you mind if a loved one laughs at you? How about someone you know but don’t know well?


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B is for Bemused

Bemused… not to be confused with amused. I must admit, I used to think they meant the same thing but they don’t.

Bemused is what I am much of the time. As a writer, when I get caught up in something I’m working on, I often become absent-minded, dazed, distracted, and befuddled. (Don’t you just love a good thesaurus?)

Stress can cause a certain amount of bemusement. Once I have something stuck in my noggin that is causing me anxiety it’s like everything else around me ceases to matter. Stuff I’m actually physically doing gets done with the least amount of thought, much to the detriment of dry sleeves, clean floors, healthy toes, and undented fenders. No, I haven’t gone there yet, at least not because I’ve been distracted, but I’ve come close. What driver hasn’t? It’s a real eye-opener when it does almost happen though.

A good end to bemusement.

Being bemused is the cause of walking into a room and having no idea why I’m there. Or losing something I had in my hand only a second ago, making me wonder if I’m losing my mind… which I am, to bemusement.

According to this wonderful book I have sitting beside me, it’s also a synonym for tipsy and half-drunk. There’s something I can relate to, though not as often as I’m simply lost in my thoughts.

And so I try to focus; live in the moment, stay aware of my surroundings and what I’m doing. It’s harder than it seems and takes quite a bit of practice. We live inside our minds as much, if not more, than we live inside our bodies. Take reading, or watching a movie for instance. When we’re really into something, the rest of the world disappears. Ceases to exist. Until someone taps us on the shoulder or spills popcorn in our lap. But then that’s not bemusement. It’s concentration. Isn’t it?

No, I believe bemusement is more introverted. It’s self-absorption that can rise to a most dangerous level.

Which is not amusing in the slightest.


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Bedside Manner at the Dentist

I need your opinion on an important matter. First, the back-story.

Earlier this year I went to the dentist. I don’t like the dentist – this is something you need to know to truly understand where I’m coming from. In fact, “don’t like” is really a mild way of saying I’m a wuss.

It was my first time at this particular dentist and my first time in a long time at any dentist. I needed a filling. It all started great but then the dentist noticed my tooth was cracked. It needed some special attention. I, being who I am, let the dentist know in no uncertain terms that I wasn’t happy about what he was doing in my mouth. Suffice to say I said, “ouch” a few times.

It had already been determined that I needed two more fillings on the other side. The dentist suggested, quite strongly, that I should go to another dentist and get a general anaesthetic. I told him fine, I’d check and see how much it would cost.

Whoa.

So, I went back to the first dentist (to get a cleaning this time) and when I saw him I told him that I wanted him to do the other two fillings. He didn’t think this was a wise choice.

“But I can’t afford a general anaesthesia,” I told him.

“Well, you were in a lot of discomfort last time,” he said. “And besides, we have the other patients to consider…”

The other patients? I didn’t think I was that loud.

Dentists, even ones who don’t put you under, are expensive. The cleaning alone cost me hundreds of dollars, not to mention the fillings which were more costly. So here’s where your opinion comes in:

A) If you’re emptying your wallet at the dentist, do you have the right to be as loud as you want?

or

B) If you’re emptying your wallet at the dentist, do you have the right to a peaceful visit without someone in the next room wailing like a banshee/complaining that the dentist is trying to kill her/saying ouch?

or

C) Would you trust a dentist who had separate soundproof rooms?

or

D) All of the above.

or

E) None of the above.

Here’s a poll:

Please vote and add your two cents (or five, if you’re Canadian) in the comments. I need an answer to this conundrum!


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An Imitation Game

I was reading some of The Daily Post entries today, as I sometimes do, and a good number of them refused to play along with the prompt. Today’s prompt was this: Write a post about anything you’d like — in the style of your favorite blogger. (Be sure to link to them!)

I’m not sure if the participating (and I use that word loosely) posts I read were a good cross section of all of them (I perused about 15% of them) but a great majority of those I read said they didn’t want to imitate anyone, for various reasons. Some simply ignored the prompt and linked anyway, some said they couldn’t find a favourite, and some said they were too happy with their own writing “voice” to be bothered. One even thought it was creepy.

The whole thing reminded me of my high school drama class. We were given an assignment and had a few days to research it before we were to come back to class and demonstrate what we’d discovered. The assignment was to observe the way different people walk and imitate them. Not really a difficult thing to do, and yet no one in the class would do it. We all stated that it was too uncomfortable – we felt like we were making fun of people. I don’t remember if I refused to do it on those grounds or if I was too self-conscious to be the only one who did do it.

It seems strange to me in the blogosphere that people wouldn’t participate in such a thing as an imitation game. Is it really that hard to mimic another writer’s style? Is it that distasteful?

Would you do it?


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Pain is a Great Motivator

I’m truly amazed at what I’ve learned as a response to the pain in my right shoulder. What I’ve accomplished leads me to believe that perhaps pain is responsible for the entire evolution of man.

Okay, maybe not… but just maybe.

For all of the fifty-one years I’ve been on this earth I’ve been right-handed. Apart from holding a fork, and even then only when I have a knife in my right, I’ve never done much with it. Oh, and touch-typing of course. But even then, I can’t manage to hit the space bar with my left thumb without seriously thinking about it. Doing so slows me down considerably, so I’ll stop trying.

But now! now I’m able to do almost everything except write with it. And why? Why do I use my left hand now without even thinking about it? Because for most things, using my right is excruciating. Eating, drinking from a cup, brushing my hair, reaching for things, even wiping my butt; I’ve suddenly become ambidextrous. Pain has taught me how to do all these things at more than half a century old!

So I got to thinking about the evolution of man and how pain might have helped us get to where we are. Think about technology for instance. Imagine how many blisters we’d have and how wrinkled our skin would be if we actually had to walk and then swim to another continent! Not to mention being eaten by fish with numerous rows of teeth! And what about grocery stores. How much hunger would we have to endure if we had to wait for, say, a potato to grow. Or a cow. With the invention of aisles upon aisles of ready-grown food we don’t have to worry about that!

So I conclude that pain must be the greatest motivator in the world. Can you think of one better? I think not!


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SoCS – Relatives

I think, sometimes, about the fact that when my mother passes away I will have no relatives here in Canada other than the ones I made – my three kids. When I think about it I feel alone. I realize that should my eldest son ever have children, I will have more relatives. The other two of my boys will likely never have families.

So where will be my legacy? I wonder if maybe that’s why I write… to ensure there will be something left of me, even if it’s not a blood relative. I used to think about this in regards to my father. As an only child, and a girl to boot, the only chance of my father’s name being passed down was if I kept it. But I didn’t, in regards to my children. They have their father’s surname. So at this branch of the family tree, the name Hill will end… or will it? Again, if I publish my novels perhaps it will live on, at least as a concept if not a warm body.

As the generations pass on we are all eventually forgotten in everything but name. Wouldn’t it be nice if we could be somehow remembered though? Words go a long way.

This post is part of SoCS: https://lindaghill.com/2015/02/20/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-february-2115/ Check it out and join in the fun!

Badge by: Doobster at Mindful Digressions

Badge by: Doobster at Mindful Digressions