I came into this book not quite knowing what to expect. I knew it would involve ?mushy stuff,? and that it was liable to be more lighthearted than my usual fare, but beyond that I didn?t have much to go on.
Let me say that I am glad I took the trip. Sometimes whim and chance lead us to things that we would not otherwise have come across, and in those moments we should be thankful.
The technical portion of the program is well done, and while in the first few chapters you might be prone to thinking it childish or a little over-the-top, it becomes clearer towards the end and you start to see how it all fits together. The final whammy – and the opportunity to read the central story that…
My novelette, All Good Stories is on sale today! It’s a romantic comedy, complete with pirates, a parrot, and a Viking. What could possibly go wrong? Lighthearted and fun, it’s perfect to enjoy over a lunchtime or two. It’s available for the low cost of 99¢, or the equivalent in whichever country you live, on both Amazon for Kindle here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01JQWMQAE
The Kobo site has a preview of the book. I plan to figure out how to set one up on Amazon soon. In the meantime, here are the first two chapters:
Aarin, The Topless Pirate
Jupiter bounded into my book store with an extraordinary spring in her step.
“I finished it!” she proclaimed, beaming much like the ray of sunshine that fell upon the counter every fair morning at this time of year.
“Finished what?” I asked. As if I didn’t know. She’d spent months bemoaning the grueling process of editing her novel.
“Stop it, Xav.” Jupiter had a peculiar way of shortening my name when she was annoyed at me. Her eyes narrowed and her lip lifted crookedly at the ‘V’ as she elongated it. She was very cute when she did it, which made me want to annoy her all the more.
“Wait, let me guess. Your novel?” I teased.
“YES!”
I wished, not for the first time, as she bounced up and down in her spring jacket that we were more than just friends.
“Does that mean you’re finally going to share it with me?” Leaning forward on the counter, I rested my chin in my hand to affect nonchalance. Deep down, I was as excited as she was.
“Of course I’ll let you read it.” She dug through the suitcase she called a purse. After a moment, she pulled out a bound stack of papers. “Aarin, The Topless Pirate,” she announced as she plopped it down in front of me.
“Sounds promising.” I glanced at the title page, which stated only the title, then back to my best friend. “What’s it about?”
“It’s um… It’s about a pirate who goes to sea.”
“And is the pirate topless?” I sat up straight. Visions volleyed around in my mind of breasts bared to the slightly chilled ocean breeze.
She smiled wickedly. “You’ll have to read it to find out.”
I picked up the manuscript and slid it onto the shelf behind the counter. “I’ll read it later.”
She stared, wide-eyed. “You’re not serious.”
“It doesn’t sound that interesting. It can wait.”
“But…” She didn’t look as though she was going to cry, exactly, but the distress on her face was enough to make me waver.
“Sell it to me,” I said.
“What do you mean?”
“Make me want to read it. Tell me what it’s about.”
“It’s about a pirate. A topless pirate. Who goes to sea.”
“…and?”
“And what? Isn’t that enough?”
“Is there sex? Is there a sunburn involved?”
“Fine! Don’t read it then.” She turned sharply and stalked out of the store.
Feeling bad about my little April Fool’s Day joke, I watched until she disappeared around the corner before I pulled the manuscript back out. I turned back the title page fully expecting to be properly titillated, only to find a photocopied picture of a crusty old pirate with his back facing the camera. He wore nothing but a three-cornered hat.
That we share the same sense of humor makes it no wonder Jupiter and I have been best friends since elementary school.
Bob The Blogger
Bob was a novelist. He was also a blogger. To round out the combo, to make it a trio (because Bob adored the number three), he referred to himself as a Serial Alliterator, which meant he loved alliterations. His blog profile sported a selfie of a previously pencil-thin Bob in the bathroom mirror, wearing nothing but a wicked grin. Though he stated in his profile that he loved the outdoors, since his foray into blogging he had seldom seen the sun. Secretly, he called himself Blob the Blogger.
Today, Bob is excited because yesterday he met Jupiter online. They met on Bob’s blog after Bob blogged about writing a novel. He and Jupiter spent three hours commenting back and forth. Jupiter was single, and she was writing a novel as well.
Tomorrow, if he wasn’t too tired from using the treadmill, Bob planned to write Jupiter three poems. His poems would employ many uses of alliteration; they would contain the letter ‘J’ as often as Bob could manage. They would not contain the first letter of Jupiter’s best friend’s name. As far as Bob was concerned, he needed no excuse to leave the letter ‘X’ out of Jupiter’s joyous poetry. No justification at all.
It’s been an interesting time to get to this point, and someday I’ll write about it. For now, I’d like to introduce you to my amazing cover, designed by the even more amazing and lovely Belinda Borradaile, to whom I’d like to express my profound thanks. You can find Belinda’s stunning artwork and her amazing writing at https://idiotwriting.wordpress.com/
All Good Stories is a romance novelette that was begun as a project for the A-Z April Challenge in 2014. It was originally written entirely off the cuff and posted on my fiction blog unedited.
As best friends, Xavier and Jupiter have always been supportive of each others’ romantic relationships. But when Jupiter meets Bob online, Xavier can’t help but feel he needs to come to her rescue. There’s just something about Bob. In the process of preventing Bob from wooing Jupiter away, Xavier realizes he’s been in love with her all along. Can he keep her safe and win her heart? And will he ever get to read her manuscript?
Join Xavier, Jupiter, and a quirky cast of characters in this fun romantic comedy novelette with a twist you won’t see coming.
A few kind comments from my beta readers. With sincere appreciation:
“You got a couple of laughs out of me, and seriously, I do not laugh when I’m reading.” ~ Maggie Wilson, Writer/Blogger
“A lot of fun!” ~ Bee Halton, Blogger/Poetess
“A fun, easy read. It had me chuckling many times.” ~ Jeanne Owens, author of Kismet and Tell, and Chronicles of Riss.
Since All Good Stories is less than 50 pages in length, I’ve decided not to print a physical copy. The release date is Wednesday, August 10, 2016. You can pre-order your eBook for just 99¢ at Amazon worldwide for automatic delivery to your device on that day. Please find it here:
Once in a while I go to the bookstore and pick up a few books from the sale racks. This one turned out to be an amazing read. It took me no time at all to fall in love with the characters, who are written not only with incredible depth, but with such ease that I didn’t realize I was becoming immersed until I couldn’t put down the novel. If you enjoy a good love story with imperfect but perfectly lovable characters, you’ll love Faking It. I can’t wait to read the sequel.
This week’s Cosmic Photo Challenge prompt is “Quest for Fire.” I decided to go with a picture I’ve posted on my blog before, except this time it’s modified. At the time I shot it, I actually shot three as I often do, so I can be reasonably sure one of them is good. The first is a modified version of the one you may have seen before. I heightened the saturation to bring out the colour of the fire.
In the second one, the camera, for whatever reason, picked up the flame’s aura above it. I’m guessing it was due to the angle of the lens. I kind of like the black and white version.
The third and final one was out of focus. I call this the drunk version:
I am very thrilled and delighted to show you my beautiful, shiny new book! Chris at The Story Reading Ape has done an absolutely brilliant job of designing the perfect cover for it too. He was so helpful and accommodating to me, despite my inexperience in these matters and problems with my e-mail!
At the moment, it is available at CreateSpace, but by tomorrow, it should be available on Kindle and shortly afterward Amazon.
As I mentioned in my earlier post, I had been encouraged to publish a collection of my poems, and now I have finally done it! I do love to rhyme things and this book is pretty much a compilation of some of my favourites! I have even included some of the raunchier ones to add a little extra spice!
This just in: Boroughs Publishing Group has just announced a contest for writers of Romantic fiction that is ethnically diverse and/or LGBTQ. If your fiction fits into this category, check out the link!
Description: A silly, satirical romp into the land of romance novels and pirate adventures, full of romance clichés and humour. This book is a short novella, just over 10k words.
Have you ever wondered what goes on in the minds and hearts of romance novel heroes and heroines? No? Good, because this book won’t be helpful with that at all.
If romance clichés drive you mad and you like Monty Python style humour, this may be the perfect book for you.
From the twisted mind of a sometimes writer and lifelong reader, you are certain to have less brain cells than you started with after reading this book.
Captain Stormy is the typical romance hero/villain archetype. He follows the Romance Hero Handbook to the letter, but he is about to figure out that nothing in his guidebook is going to prepare him…
It’s a phrase we hear all the time. Songs have been sung, people pass it off as words of wisdom to the forlorn and the heartbroken. I found it in my horoscope today. The sentence before it stated that my emotions must not be ignored.
As advice, it sounds pretty. It lends to the imagination the idea that our hearts speak to us and can guide us on which way to go when we are unsure. But when we listen to our hearts, must we necessarily go in the direction we really want? Or does it mean that we should do what we know is right?
I wonder if cardiologists everywhere roll their eyes whenever they hear the phrase spoken aloud?
Thump-thump, thump-thump, thump-thump…
Blog post of December 6th, in honour of Every Damn Day December. Check it out! It’s not too late to join in!
With all this recent talk about doing research, I’ve decided to do some of my own. Actually, I decided a week ago, but I’m jumping on the bandwagon with those who have blogged about it.
Hochelaga Inn, Kingston Ontario
When I first decided to set my novel in Kingston, Ontario, I looked around the internet for historic houses there and found this one. As luck would have it, it’s a Bed and Breakfast. So next week, guess where I’m going to stay…? Yep, I’ll be right up in the tower room, which is complete with a ladder to the roof from the inside. I have described, using only my imagination, every nook and cranny of this glorious mansion. But now, I’ll be able to do so from the inside. 🙂
In the three days I’ll be spending there I plan also to both drive and walk around town, getting a real feel for the atmosphere. And who knows, maybe I’ll even meet my main character while I’m there. He’s sure to be in residence, after all. 😉
All Good Stories by Linda G. Hill
lindaghill.com 