Linda G. Hill

Life in progress


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318. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language.

Sunday, July 15th, 11:00am
Andrea and Lacey

 

Andrea: Ugh. I’m covered in mosquito bites.

Lacey: I thought you liked blood-suckers.

Andrea: Fuck off. Speaking of blood-suckers, it’s been, like, a week since I saw my Eddie.

Lacey: How’d it go last time you saw him?

Andrea: (cocks head) We talked a bit. Then he said he had to run. I think we hit it off okay.

Lacey: I think you should just forget about him. Find someone nice.

Andrea: What do I want “nice” for? It doesn’t matter – they start off nice but then I find out they were dicks all along. Might as well go for someone I know is badass in the first place. Save some time.

Lacey: You’ve got a point.

 

Next stop: Monday, July 16th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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315. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Thursday, July 12th, 5:00pm
Miriam, and Ursula

 

Miriam: I’ve GOT to tell you about this place I stayed on the weekend.

Ursula: Not good?

Miriam: Oh the place wasn’t bad. It was the shower. The water pressure! Way too much. You want the good news first or the bad news?

Ursula: Give me the bad news.

Miriam: (takes off her hat) It uprooted half the hair on my head.

Ursula: No! What’s the good news?

Miriam: It ironed out my wrinkles for about two hours.

 

Next stop: Friday, July 13th, 7:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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314. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Wednesday, July 11th, 5:00pm
Devin and Dale

 

Devin: So I was late for work this morning.

Dale: Oh yeah? How come?

Devin: I forgot to turn the dishwasher off before I left the apartment, so I had to turn around and go back.

Dale: Doesn’t your dishwasher turn itself off?

Devin: No. If he runs out of dishes at our place he goes to the neighbour’s.

Dale: Errr …

Devin: My husband’s a little compulsive that way.

Dale: So how do you turn him off?

Devin: Hand him the vacuum. He’ll still be doing it when I get home tonight.

Dale: You must have a very clean apartment.

Devin: (sighs) Yeah. Especially if I don’t watch him on garbage day.

 

Next stop: Thursday, July 12th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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313. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Tuesday, July 10th, 5:00pm
Jocelyn and Jody

 

Jody: Mommy?

Jocelyn: (tiredly) Yes?

Jody: Can I be a rocket when I grow up?

Jocelyn: No, you can not be a rocket when you grow up.

Jody: Why not?

Jocelyn: Because a rocket is a thing, and you are not a thing. You’re a person.

Jody: But that new kid Jackie said his dad says he’s gonna send Jackie’s mom to the moon. How can Jackie’s mom go to the moon if she’s not a rocket?

Jocelyn: (thinks for a moment) Jackie needs to keep his mouth shut.

Jody: Jackie said his dad says that too.

Jocelyn: Does your daycare worker know?

Jody: (shrugs) Prolly. Jackie’s mom is my new daycare worker. She doesn’t look like a rocket. But Sammy says her tits look like torpedoes.

Jocelyn: Jody!

Jody: Well that’s what Sammy says.

Jocelyn: I think we need to look for another daycare.

 

Next stop: Wednesday, July 11th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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312. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Monday, July 9th, 5:00pm
Waylon and Zoey

 

Waylon sits at the window. Zoey takes the seat beside him.

Waylon: Hey, do you know your way around this town?

Zoey: Pretty much. I’ve lived here most of my life.

Waylon: I need directions. I’ve been every way but upwards, and I can’t seem to find any good restaurants.

Zoey: Oh, you’re going to wrong way. You need to get on the southbound bus.

Waylon: Great. I’ll do that on the morrow. I’ve already got breakfast lined up.

Zoey: So you’ll be looking for lunch then?

Waylon: Yep, and thanks to you, in all the right places.

 

Next stop: Tuesday, July 10th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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310. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Saturday, July 7th, 9:00pm
Bella and Alice (and Edward)

 

Bella: I know he’s gonna be there tonight. I just know it.

Edward: (pops up in the seat behind them, making them jump) You mean me? I’m here.

Bella: No, I don’t mean you. And if you do that again, I swear…

Edward: Don’t swear, Bella. It doesn’t become you.

Alice: If you have to know, she means a guy that…

Bella: (interrupts) I’m in love with. And he’s in love with me. So go blow it out your ear.

Edward: Blow what out my ear? (shakes head)  I’m here to give you one last chance, Bella. Be with me. You know you want to.

Bella: As much as I’m tempted I think I’ll pass. What, you got other options?

Edward: I’m considering leaving town.

Bella: No!

Edward: You’re sad. I’m sorry. All you have to do is agree to marry me, and I’ll take you with me.

Bella: I’ll survive.

Alice: Why the change of plans? As if I really want to know.

Edward: There’s a woman stalking me. I believe she means to try to kill me.

Alice: (under her breath) Well there’s an idea.

Edward: She approached me last night and pretended to be you, my Bella. You but changed to be like me. A vampire. I could smell her a mile off.

Bella: You know, you’re kind of ripe yourself.

Edward: So what do you say, Bella? Will you come with me? It’s really not safe here.

Bella: I’ll be fine. Go without me.

Edward: Parting is such sweet sorrow. Good-bye then my love.

Edward stands and waits for the next bus stop.

Alice: Good riddance.

Edward stares at Bella.

Bella: You’re not going to hypnotize me into going with you.

Alice: (to Edward) Seriously?

Edward: Fine then! (gets off the bus)

Bella: (reaches out toward the door) Oh no! He’s really gone!

Bella and Alice look at each other and crack up laughing.

 

Next stop: Sunday, July 8th, 11:00am

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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309. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language.

Friday, July 6th, 7:00pm
Andrea (and Drommen)

 

Andrea sits at the window. Drommen takes the seat beside her.

Drommen: Hey. You changed your hair.

Andrea: Yep. I went blonde.

Drommen: What’s the occasion?

Andrea: I’m hoping to meet Edward tonight. Do you think he’ll like it?

Drommen: You’re not serious. The guy’s a nutcase.

Andrea: (frowns) He’s just, like, a bit misguided.

Drommen: And you’re going to guide him in the right direction?

Andrea: Fuck yeah.

Drommen: Well I’ll give you one thing: you’ve got something in common. You’re both persistent.

Andrea: (smiles, showing a mouthful of fake fangs) That’s not all.

 

Next stop: Saturday, July 7th, 9:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.