You know when your toddler learned a new word a few days ago and then tries to say it again, but can’t quite pronounce it? Even though you ask him or her to repeat it, a lot of the time you still can’t figure out what he or she is trying to say, right? It’s like that for me every single day.
The Deaf school that my son, Alex, attends is a godsend in many ways. But he comes home with a heightened vocabulary that I just can’t comprehend. And it’s not as though I can look it up. I can find words I want to sign because I know how they are spelt. But finding a sign in the dictionary when you don’t know what the sign is, is like trying to figure out what written Chinese means.
So Alex dumbs it down for me. For instance, he was trying to explain to me the other day that his friend had invited him over to his place to play. But I didn’t know the sign “invited.” I got the friend’s name, (which is a task all on its own, because names are invented by Deaf people on a person to person basis) and I got the sign for “go” and “house.” While I was trying to tell Alex he couldn’t go, he was signing, “I was invited.” Seeing that Mom wasn’t understanding him, yet again, he went the long way around.
Alex: [Friend’s] mom talked to [friend], told me fine, [friend] asked me to go to his house.
Me: [Friend’s] mom said okay you go?
Alex: Yes.
It’s like living with a game of charades.
My A to Z theme concerns the joys and challenges of being the hearing mother of my Deaf son, Alex. To learn more about his beginnings in life, click here to go to my first A to Z entry.
It’s been a while since I said thank you to all of you who visit my blogs, and all who participate in my prompts. When I started out, I said thank you in the comments of every participating post. Then I figured eventually everyone must be getting sick of saying, “You’re welcome,” so I stopped. One thing I haven’t meant to stop doing is visiting every post that’s linked on the day it’s posted, but I have. And I regret it, but I haven’t been able to keep up.
Truth is, I’ve been pretty tapped lately. Between the kids and all their issues, my mother who is losing it a bit more every day, problems with my house, the puppy, trying to edit my books, trying to actually get off the couch to stop the spreading of my ass, housework, appointments, shopping, endless paperwork for my kids’ services that never seems to get done… oh, and blogging. But the thing is, THIS is important to me. It feels as though it should be at the bottom of the list, but the truth is this place is one of the main things anchoring me to sanity. It’s the only writing I do, and I need to write.
And what’s wonderful about my blog that isn’t true of writing novels, is that I get to talk to all of you. You who inspire me. You who keep me going. You all who never ever let me down, who I can count on to make me smile.
So again, thank you for being here. Thank you for making my prompts a success. Thank you for your support.
Phonics. They’re a wonderful thing, aren’t they? Unless you’re Deaf. From what I understand, a Deaf person learns words by recognition, sort of like how we see a picture of something and associate it with what it means. Yet it’s not as simple as you’d first think. For instance, we can see a picture of a house with the word “house” below it – easy, right? But what about the word “concept”? How do you explain that word with the definition of it, and expect anyone to remember it? Just the amount of memory it must take for a Deaf person to be able to spell words on sight is phenomenal!
We’re supposed to be able to teach our children the things we understand, especially the things we know most about. Words are my thing. And even though my son, Alex, is learning English, it’s as though it’s a foreign language to me. It’s frustrating that I have no idea how I could possibly go about teaching him how to read. I thank heaven that there’s a school and teachers who can do it.
My A to Z theme concerns the joys and challenges of being the hearing mother of my Deaf son, Alex. To learn more about his beginnings in life, click here to go to my first A to Z entry.
I know I’ve mentioned before what it’s like when I visit Alex’s school for a special event. Walking down a hallway, jam-packed with students from Kindergarten to Grade 12, all of them chatting animatedly without a sound but the scuffing of shoes on the floor, is an experience not many hearing people are likely to have. I want to add that the shoe-scuffing is decidedly loud, however. I think that may be because Deaf parents aren’t constantly telling the kids to stop dragging their feet already, like the rest of us do. But I digress.
Unlike the above point, I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned the first time I went with Alex for a playdate. It was back when we lived in the Ottawa area. We only went to a couple, hosted by a Deaf mom, for her kids and some of their friends, all of whom were Deaf. I was lucky to have found them: I was pointed in the right direction by one of my American Sign Language teachers.
My first impression at the playdate, once we got the kids organized and sitting around a table with building blocks, was how eerie it was. If I remember correctly, there were four adults and five or six children ranging in ages from two to six, and the room was dead quiet. What I remember the most was how happy Alex was. At the age of six, Alex was probably more fascinated watching the adults sign and the kids communicate with one another without excluding him than he was with the actual playing. It was at that moment that I realized these were his people and I was not. As happy as I was for him, and still am, that he’s part of that wonderful community, being unlike him is one of the most heartbreaking things I have to endure as his mother.
It’s very strange to give birth to someone whose first language isn’t the same as yours.
My A to Z theme concerns the joys and challenges of being the hearing mother of my Deaf son, Alex. To learn more about his beginnings in life, click here to go to my first A to Z entry.
I just talked to someone at WordPress support, and they said the problem only seems to be affecting custom sites. That means, if you have .wordpress in your site’s address, you shouldn’t be affected. If you pay for your site and you don’t have a .wordpress.com site, and your pingbacks don’t work, please let support know.
Proof that they’re doing something: I got a pingback tonight. Problem was, it was from Margret’s post here:
Though my son, Alex, observes much more than most of us in the family do, there’s at least a quarter, if not half, of what the rest of us perceive that he misses, being Deaf. While we hear things that go on around us without having to see them, (right now there’s a car going by with a rattling trailer on the back, and my other son, Chris, is coughing upstairs in his room) Alex’s world is quiet. He only knows what is in front of his face. I know this, because I often accidentally sneak up on the poor kid and scare him out of his erps.
I think of him in his own little world, not knowing what’s going on around him, and I find it natural that we end up calling him, “Your Majesty.” He’s self-centered in a way that makes sense. And yet he still finds a way to be in tune.
That he has compassion, even though I’m not able to explain to him what compassion means, tells me that teaching by example goes so much further than speaking. Openness begets openness, caring begets caring, and love begets love. This, unfortunately, can also be said for close-mindedness, rejection, and hate. To me, it speaks in volumes about how we all need to behave around our children.
Kindness is as often shown in gestures as it is in words. We can express kind words to one another without meaning them, but the sincerity of a smile cannot be faked. Nor can the act of opening a door, or handing back a lost item that a person doesn’t know he or she has dropped. I’m happy to have not only been able to demonstrate these qualities to my son, but I’m grateful to have been able to expose him to other people who have as well.
My A to Z theme concerns the joys and challenges of being the hearing mother of my Deaf son, Alex. To learn more about his beginnings in life, click here to go to my first A to Z entry.
I contacted WordPress support yesterday to find out what was going on with the pingbacks. All the Happiness Engineer was able to tell me is that it’s just me. Everyone else’s are working. Mine are, in fact, not working in either direction – I pinged back to Dale’s site yesterday for the photo challenge and he never received my link.
So it seems WordPress doesn’t like me; your guess is as good as mine as to why. At the moment I’m still waiting for a developer to get back to me. I’m not holding my breath that it will happen before 2am when I post my next prompt, so if you plan to participate in One-Liner Wednesday tomorrow, I’m afraid you’ll have to manually enter your link in my comment section, so I and everyone else will see your post.
Apologies for the inconvenience. Hopefully this will get sorted out before Saturday and SoCS rolls around again.
I remember the first time someone called me using TTY plus Telephone Relay Service. The way it works is, the telephone company has a hearing interpreter with a TTY (teletype) device between the hearing person and the Deaf person. On the Deaf person’s end, they are either watching the interpreter sign on screen, or reading on the device. In between, the interpreter is listening and signing or typing, and on the hearing person’s end, he or she must speak and then say, “Go ahead,” when finished. It’s a complicated, and at first awkward, but effective method of communicating.
I also remember the first time I spoke to a Deaf person through an interpreter face-to-face. Again, awkward. First, I wasn’t sure where to look. When the Deaf person signed to me, I was able to watch and listen to the interpreter at the same time. But when I spoke, the Deaf person watched the interpreter. I wasn’t sure who I should be looking at. I’ve since gotten a bit more used to it. Second, I never know how fast to talk. I get caught up in watching the signs, and when I catch one I know, I realize how far behind the interpreter is, so I slow down. …or is he/she behind? There’s the backwards grammar to take into consideration too.
I didn’t have to deal with any of this until we moved to Ontario and Alex was enrolled in a Deaf school. Appalling anecdote, that was part of what actually led me to move:
It took about a year to finally have a speech and language pathologist visit Alex at school. It was a regular, English-speaking public school in the Province of Quebec. He had a wonderful EA working with him there, by the name of Lise. She was with him all the time. She spent her lunches tube feeding him and playing with him, and she actually came out of town to visit the Deaf school with me before we moved. Lise is hearing, however, and was at about the same level of American Sign Language I. We both knew it wasn’t enough for him to grow, so enter the speech therapist to advise on whether or not the school should fund an interpreter for him. The pathologist’s final assessment, after watching him in class a couple of times was that he couldn’t benefit from an interpreter, because at his current level of ASL, he wouldn’t understand the interpreter.
…
It’s like saying adults shouldn’t speak to hearing toddlers because they won’t understand anyway. How does one learn a language unless they are taught by someone who knows more, and is able to expand their vocabulary by example? And this from a woman whose job it was to teach language!
So we moved.
Since then, I’ve been muddling along, learning from what Alex brings home from school more than anything. We learned together, him by being exposed to ASL daily, and me from being exposed to my son. But we’re slowly getting back to needing an interpreter, and I don’t think it will be long before I have to have one at doctor’s appointments. He can now understand most things that are said in the adult world. At fifteen years of age he is still quite far behind mentally, but he’s a teenager. One of the most difficult things for me is knowing where his actual level of understanding lies. I have to rely on teachers for that. It’s like hosting a foreign student who I gave birth to, sometimes.
My A to Z theme concerns the joys and challenges of being the hearing mother of my Deaf son, Alex. To learn more about his beginnings in life, click here to go to my first A to Z entry.
When I had only just started blogging, and I had something like 30 followers, I came across Wes’s blog – Nearly Wes. I loved it so so much and right then I decided to put this on my bucket list – “To garner 125 followers on WordPress”, because that was the number Wes was on. I’m pretty sure he’s moved waaaay ahead now, but the 125 has stuck with me and still remains my goal.
Today I realised I am just 25 followers away from getting a check on my bucket list. Yes, I have one hundred WordPress followers 🙂 Woohoo! Yippee! Yay!
And who knows I might wake up tomorrow and find 25 “New Follower” notifications. Fingers crossed so bad that they are now entangled 😛
PS: Another reason to say Yay – Just 9 days to go for my engagement partyyyy!
There are a little more than four hours left to get your entry in for the One-Liner Wednesday Badge contest, as of the publication of this post. The contest ends tonight (Sunday February 14th/16) at midnight, EST.
We have four more entries for everyone to look at, for a total of seven so far. The new ones that weren’t part of the last reminder post are:
Please check them out early! The voting will begin sometime tomorrow; the poll will close Tuesday at noon, to give me time to announce the winner before Wednesday’s prompt is published.
lindaghill.com 