Linda G. Hill

Life in progress

#SoCS – Volition

30 Comments

Gah! Why do I struggle so much to write something positive these days? To write something – anything – of my own volition? I swear, if it wasn’t for these prompts, I might not write at all for weeks on end. Which is strange, really, because when I start, it’s natural. It just goes. Before I go off on a tangent, I want to say thank you. To all of you who help me keep going with my prompts. Because though they may originate here, if it wasn’t for all of you reading and participating in them, I’d have no motivation to keep it up some weeks. Thank you. πŸ™‚

I’m not going to get this posted on Saturday, but I’m happy I at least started it with a minute or two to spare. I’ve spent the day working and occasionally tending to my son Chris’s needs.Β  And talking to my mother on the phone about half a dozen times, allaying her fears that there really is nothing to worry about when she finds a note in her room that she wrote about something she was trying to remember to do three years ago. I swear sometimes it would be best to go through her room when she’s not there and empty it of every scrap of paper once a week. She’s always been a worrier. Now she finds something to worry about and with her dementia, she can discover it for the first time ten times in the space of an hour.

I actually tried not giving birth to an only child, as I am, so that only one child would be stuck looking after me as I age. As it turns out, my eldest will likely be stuck with both me and his two disabled brothers. Life just isn’t fair.

Gah! Why do I struggle so much to write something positive these days? (Yes, I copied that.)

So I was at the hospital with Alex the other day, and I was amazed at how many people I recognized from when he was there for the first eight months of his life. Not only that, there were so many of those people who recognized me. I must have made an impression. Or Alex did. He was admitted for a night after vomiting as he came out of anaesthesia and they were afraid that he may have aspirated. He spent the night with the nurses at the desk, apparently, hanging out and flirting. He didn’t want to leave the hospital when it was time to go. I remember one time he was in ICU after having a second surgery in the space of two days. He’d had sleep apnea and the first surgery wasn’t as successful as they’d hoped. Even after all that, he managed to wrap every nurse in the ICU around his little finger. I’ve never seen so many nurses drop what they were doing (in the bloody ICU!) to wave goodbye to him as they wheeled him on a stretcher out the door and back up to the ward where he would spend another few days recovering.

He gets it from his dad, I’m sure. I’m simply not that charming.

But soon we won’t have that particular hospital to go to anymore. It’s a children’s hospital, and Alex will turn seventeen in five weeks. I fear the adult hospital may not be as good.

Gah!

Alex’s first day of school, Sept. 5, 2017.

 

Check out the Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt at the following link and read all the other posts. And join in too, if you’d like. It’s fun! https://lindaghill.com/2017/09/15/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-sept-1617/

Author: LindaGHill

There's a writer in here, clawing her way out.

30 thoughts on “#SoCS – Volition

  1. I enjoyed the images of your son wrapping nurses around his finger. I’ve always loved my kids and would give my life for them. But in the hardest times, I thought I would enjoy them more if I was not the one responsible for them and worrying about them. Maybe our kids are stronger than we think. I have a feeling Alex is going to continue to draw good people to him. You are a good mom, Linda.

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    • Thank you, JoAnna. Yes, as much as I worry about him any time he has to stay in the hospital, sometimes I sleep better.
      And yeah, he does tend to bring out the happy in people, which means those with the capacity to be happy are the ones most drawn to him. πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Hope he won’t have to go a hospital. πŸ™‚

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  3. Reblogged this on HarsH ReaLiTy and commented:
    Check out and join SoCS!
    Note: Comments disabled here. Please visit their blog.

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  4. I’m glad to hear you are both home now.

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  5. Sometimes I struggle to write happy things, too.
    I wanted a larger family because I always felt so alone as an only. I’m not saying there aren’t perks, but sometimes I really wanted a sibling, and always envied those who had them.
    Now, as an adult, I can say that I have never wanted a sibling more. With the loss of my father, I hated that there was no one, not a soul, who understood my position as his child. I like knowing that my kids will have one another. There’s power in numbers and all that.
    Maybe you won’t need the same kind of care your mother does. Maybe it’ll be a lot better than you imagine, for all of you. Even if it’s hard, there’s a lot of love ❀

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I have a lump in my throat just like Cage. For good reason. I agree that we are all connected through our emotions. Thanks really goes to you. You’ve creating a welcoming spot for all of us to come and share.

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  7. I see what you are saying. I feel like you but for different reasons. Life a bitch and then she bites you. All we can do is smile, keep our heads above water peddling and pray things get better!πŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œ

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  8. I really enjoy the SoCS posts, Linda as I find the prompts often reveal so much more of the person, I like that.
    I am sure that Alex will continue to charm the nurses: Some people have it, and some don’t!
    Anyway, thanks for keeping on with the prompts and writing even when you don’t feel like it. I am loving your Second Seat on the Right stories too, please keep them coming!!! πŸ’–πŸ’–

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  9. I’m sure Alex will be able to charm the next wave of nurses. You are one busy lady. I think I’d understand if you missed a post. I’m so glad you find the time to keep the prompts coming.

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    • Thanks, Dan. πŸ™‚ Yeah, I suppose they aren’t all going to be jaded. I do see a difference when I have to take him to a regular hospital though. Maybe they’re just not as run off their feet at the children’s one. :/

      Liked by 1 person

  10. While I’m sorry about the stress you must endure when kids are ill, and with your mother–it sounds like you and the kids, especially, have great strong spirits, and personalities which attract lots of people.

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  11. Bless you Linda. xxx

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  12. My best wishes to you and your family,
    Thanks for sharing,
    Nahla

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  13. There’s a choking lump in my chest, no one’s fault, but it’s there, and it needs to be there so I can share some of this pain. It won’t help, it never does, but to know people can share some emotional connection for the journey of our lives, however difficult or strange or hard or puzzling, is what I wish to show you.

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