Note: Strong language
Friday, December 22nd, 5:00pm
Morris (and Andrea)
Morris sits at the window. Andrea takes the seat beside him.
Morris: Ugh.
Andrea: Excuse me?
Morris: I still don’t have my Christmas shopping done.
Andrea: And this concerns me how, exactly?
Morris: It doesn’t. I just wanted to …
Andrea: Why does everyone on this freakin’ bus want to tell me their problems? Like, I can’t get a minute’s peace on this freakin’, fucking bus! First I’ve got people flashing me, spitting at me, telling me their problems …
Morris: I’d watch it, if I were you. I’m Santa.
Andrea: (stares at him) You’re what now?
Morris: Santa Claus. And with a mouth like that, you’re not likely to find anything in your stocking, young lady.
Andrea: (frowns) Wait. Didn’t you just say you haven’t finished your Christmas shopping? Doesn’t Santa MAKE the toys?
Morris: No, the elves do that. I have to go out and buy all the supplies.
Andrea: You’re fucking crazy.
Morris: (shaking his head, mumbles) Whatever is the world coming to?
Andrea: (mumbles) Exactly.
Next stop: Saturday, December 23rd, 6:00pm
lindaghill.com 
December 27, 2017 at 7:59 pm
Jake: (sipping at an empty Big Gulp cup) You really Santa?
Andrea: And who the freaking fuck are you?
Jake: (pheaux-shocked; he drops the Big Gulp and mimes horror) Language!
Andrea: Fuck you, tell me what to do–you mockin’ me?
Jake: Not any more than you’re mocking real speech. Seriously, your dialogue’s atrocious. What, were you written by a college student?
Andrea: What you talking about, freak?
Jake: Are you really Santa?
Morris: Yes.
Jake: Like, for real?
Morris: Of course.
Jake: And you ride the B Route?
Morris: Yeah. Sure. What’s wrong with that?
Jake: I mean. If you were really Santa Claus, couldn’t you just “magic” yourself to all the shops? I mean, heck, why not just “magic” all your supplies? What’s the point of–I’m assuming–flying down from the North Pole, hopping on the B Route, buying supplies, hopping back on the B, and flying back home. Seems like too many steps to me, unless–
Morris: Unless I’m trying to change a woman’s life for the better by refilling her Christmas Spirit.
Jake: Unless you’re not Santa.
Morris: You know what? You’re an asshole.
Andrea: Fuck you, man.
Morris: Yeah. Fuck you. Get off the bus.
Andrea: Get out our blog post.
Morris: Get off our blog.
Jake: Alright. Okay. Okay. I’m sorry.
Andrea: Get out of here.
Jake leaves.
Morris: What a jerk.
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December 27, 2017 at 8:23 pm
Hahahaha! That was very entertaining. Thank you. 🙂
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December 23, 2017 at 12:53 am
Great story. Happy holidays!
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December 25, 2017 at 8:17 am
Thanks! You too! 😀
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