Life in progress

Category Archives: Funny


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Just Jot It Jan 17 – Complaint

Let’s see, what haven’t I complained about this year yet?

We had a snow day again today–actually, it was a freezing rain day–but I’ve already complained about those. Seems like a Tuesday thing.

Alex was so upset about not going to school today, he came into my room this morning and started smacking me because of the weather. Then, fifteen minutes later, I picked up the cat to stop him from going outside and he turned around and scratched me. And to top all that off, I was sitting on the couch about fifteen minutes after that, and I sneezed on the dog whilst reaching for the tissue box, so the dog pounced on me because I made him jump.

It’s been a rough day. But not my first this year. I’m sure I must have complained about one of those already, so I can’t do that again.

What else, let’s see… I didn’t go out today. I need to get out more. …aaand I’ve already complained about that.

Next!

I haven’t run out of wine yet, so I can’t complain about that. Oh, wait! I ran out of coffee!!! …but I found some more in the cupboard that I must have bought when it was on sale.

Nope! Sorry. Can’t think of anything new. I guess I’m going to just have to be happy, damn it!

jjj-2017

Thanks very much to our very own Willow for today’s prompt, “complaint.” You can visit Willow and read her own JusJoJan post here: https://willowdot21.wordpress.com/2017/01/17/just-jot-it-jauaryday-17-complaint/

And a very special thanks once again to Shan for hosting Just Jot It January for me! Let’s all give her a round of applause!! And make sure you visit and follow her at her blog here, where you’ll find her latest JusJoJan post: http://shanjeniahslovelychaos.com/lovely-chaos-blog/2017/1/16/i-am-penetrable-mindfulmonday-and-jusjojan-day-16-shanjeniahs-lovely-chaos

Don’t forget to check out all the other posts here, and see how you can join in too! https://lindaghill.com/2017/01/17/jusjojan-daily-prompt-jan-17th17/

 

 


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One-Liner Wednesday & #JusJoJan 11/17 Prompt – Shovel Buddy

I think they may just have something here, marketing a shovel that looks happy to get your snow cleared:
shovel-buddy1
even Winston is set to go!
img_20170110_121053
However once the snow gets too deep, Shovel Buddy doesn’t look as enthusiastic:
img_20170110_160655
and Winston agrees.

"To hell with this, I'm going back in."

“To hell with this, I’m going back in.”

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The rules for Just Jot It January are as follows:

1. It’s never too late to join in! Here, we run on the honour system; the “jot it” part of JusJoJan means that anything you jot down, anywhere (it doesn’t have to be a post, it can even be a grocery list) counts as a “Jot.” If it makes it to your blog that day, great! If it waits a week to get from a sticky note to your screen, no problem!

2. The prompts will be posted every day at 2am my time (GMT -5). You don’t have to follow the prompt word, but this will be where you leave your link for others to see. Make sure you link your post to the correct day’s prompt. There will be a post like this every day except Wednesday, when the prompt is simply my One-Liner Wednesday, and Saturday, when you’ll find the prompt on my usual Friday Reminder post for Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS).

2a. Since today is Wednesday, I challenge you to make your JusJoJan post a one-liner. If you don’t care to, or if you’ve already written your post, no problem. Remember, with One-Liner Wednesday you can write anything – it’s only a prompt to write one line, not necessarily to keep to the same theme as mine. The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

(i) Make it one sentence.

(ii) Make it either funny or inspirational.

(iii) Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

(iv) Have fun!

(v) Use our One-Liner Wednesday badge!

#1linerWeds badge by nearlywes.com

#1linerWeds badge by nearlywes.com

3. As long as your blog is on WordPress, you’ll be able to link via pingback. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL from the daily prompt post, and paste it anywhere in your post. Check to make sure your link shows up where you want it to, and go back occasionally to see other bloggers’ entries – the more you visit others, the more they’ll visit you! If you’re participating from another blogging host, just drop a link into the comment section. Note: The newest pingbacks and comments will be at the top.

4. Tag your post JusJoJan and/or #JusJoJan.

5. Write anything! Any length will do! It can even be a photo or a drawing – you’re going to title it, right? There’s your jot!

6. The prompts are here both to remind you and to inspire you to write. However, you don’t have to use the prompt word of the day. You can link any kind of jot back here. Even your shopping list. Note: If it’s 18+ content, please say so in a comment with your link.

7. If you’d like to, use the JusJoJan badge (above) in your post so that others can find your post more easily.

8. Have fun!

If you’d like to look ahead to see the upcoming prompt words, click this link: https://lindaghill.com/2016/12/31/just-jot-it-january-2017-rules/ You can always write your post ahead of time and schedule it to come out on the appropriate day.

jjj-2017


by 26 Comments

Just Jot It Jan 10 – Danger

Yesterday was the first day back to school for Alex, aaaaand… today’s a snow day. And I’m in danger of losing my mind.

Surprisingly, it’s not in the way you’d think. Yes, I’m quite pissed off at the weather, but for some reason my emotions are leading me toward the crazier, more jump-around-and-be-silly bent. Maybe it’s a precursor to when I go postal later. Or maybe this is how I finally implode into a pile of mushy Mominess.

Is it too early for wine?

jjj-2017

Thanks so much to my friend Matthew for the prompt of the day. Please give him a visit and read his latest post here: https://singularfiction.wordpress.com/2017/01/09/polishing-that-draft/

And thank you once again to Dan the magnificent, who has helped me for the past three days with Just Jot It January. I’m sure without him I’d have already imploded. You can visit Dan here: https://nofacilities.com/

Did you know you can join us in the Just Jot It January challenge any time? Click the following link to find out how, and to read all the other amazing posts! https://lindaghill.com/2017/01/10/jusjojan-daily-prompt-jan-10th17/


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One-Liner Wednesday & #JusJoJan 4/17 Prompt – Pro Tip

When choosing a ring-tone for your ex, pick your favourite song. When you don’t want to answer, you’ll be happy to just listen, and if your ex ever finds out, you can say you chose that song because of how “special” he or she is.

Note: This pro tip also works for your workplace and collection agencies.

_________________________________________________________________________

The rules for Just Jot It January are as follows:

1. It’s never too late to join in! Here, we run on the honour system; the “jot it” part of JusJoJan means that anything you jot down, anywhere (it doesn’t have to be a post, it can even be a grocery list) counts as a “Jot.” If it makes it to your blog that day, great! If it waits a week to get from a sticky note to your screen, no problem!

2. The prompts will be posted every day at 2am my time (GMT -5). You don’t have to follow the prompt word, but this will be where you leave your link for others to see. Make sure you link your post to the correct day’s prompt. There will be a post like this every day except Wednesday, when the prompt is simply my One-Liner Wednesday, and Saturday, when you’ll find the prompt on my usual Friday Reminder post for Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS).

2a. Since today is Wednesday, I challenge you to make your JusJoJan post a one-liner. If you don’t care to, or if you’ve already written your post, no problem. Remember, with One-Liner Wednesday you can write anything – it’s only a prompt to write one line, not necessarily to keep to the same theme as mine. The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

(i) Make it one sentence.

(ii) Make it either funny or inspirational.

(iii) Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

(iv) Have fun!

(v) Use our One-Liner Wednesday badge!

#1linerWeds badge by nearlywes.com

#1linerWeds badge by nearlywes.com

3. As long as your blog is on WordPress, you’ll be able to link via pingback. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL from the daily prompt post, and paste it anywhere in your post. Check to make sure your link shows up where you want it to, and go back occasionally to see other bloggers’ entries – the more you visit others, the more they’ll visit you! If you’re participating from another blogging host, just drop a link into the comment section. Note: The newest pingbacks and comments will be at the top.

4. Tag your post JusJoJan and/or #JusJoJan.

5. Write anything! Any length will do! It can even be a photo or a drawing – you’re going to title it, right? There’s your jot!

6. The prompts are here both to remind you and to inspire you to write. However, you don’t have to use the prompt word of the day. You can link any kind of jot back here. Even your shopping list. Note: If it’s 18+ content, please say so in a comment with your link.

7. If you’d like to, use the JusJoJan badge (above) in your post so that others can find your post more easily.

8. Have fun!

If you’d like to look ahead to see the upcoming prompt words, click this link: https://lindaghill.com/2016/12/31/just-jot-it-january-2017-rules/ You can always write your post ahead of time and schedule it to come out on the appropriate day.

jjj-2017

 

 

 


by 29 Comments

One-Liner Wednesday – One of Those Days

There are days when I feel there’s nothing I can’t do, and there are days when I feel I can do nothing. Today is one of those.

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If you would like to participate, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do,
you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our very cool badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

#1linerWeds badge by nearlywes.com

#1linerWeds badge by nearlywes.com


by 38 Comments

One-Liner Wednesday – Hiding? Or Trapped?

How do you know when you have an elephant hiding in your fridge?

…
…
Footprints in the butter.

Or there might be a note…

help-me

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If you would like to participate, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do,
you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our very cool badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!


by 25 Comments

One-Liner Wednesday – Big Brother

Winston and Alex

Winston and Alex (click to enlarge)

“Have you seen what the little human is watching on this laptop thing?” Winston, reporting back on his big brother’s viewing habits.

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If you would like to participate, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do,
you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our very cool badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

#1linerWeds badge by nearlywes.com

#1linerWeds badge by nearlywes.com

P.S. Don’t forget to vote for my cover on Author Shout Cover Wars today! http://authorshout.com/cover-wars/

img_1918


by 23 Comments

One-Liner Wednesday – The Answer is Right In Front of You

happens

The minute it happens, you will know.

The answer to your question is in the statement.

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If you would like to participate, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do,
you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our very cool badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

#1linerWeds badge by nearlywes.com

#1linerWeds badge by nearlywes.com


by 50 Comments

#SoCS – ‘Tis the season

Shopping. I hate it. So it’s no wonder this is my least favourite time of year. And it’s prolonged by the fact that my kids were born in September, October and November, my best friend in January and my mother in February.

Don’t get me wrong – I love the giving part. I just can’t stand having to decide what everyone else might want. And then there’s that other dreaded question – what would I like for Christmas or my birthday? (Which is in January, the day before my best friend’s.) Um… let’s see… a car? A new house? Just pay off my bills? Oh, okay. Socks will do. (No, seriously. I always need socks. Maybe I subconsciously named this whole prompt “SoCS” in order to give people hints on what to buy me for Christmas.)

I always leave my Christmas shopping to the last minute. My excuse is I don’t want to buy something and then the recipient gets it in the interim, and then I’ll have to take it back. AND come up with another idea. So I wait until everything I can think of has been bought by everyone who got their shopping done early and then I wander around aimlessly until, finally, I buy everyone a mug. Or socks. (Maybe in hopes that I’ll get them back? I don’t know…) The dog is NOT going to like his present this year if I can’t find anything better than socks. But I will take pictures before he eats them if that’s what he ends up with.

Alex wants to put the tree up this weekend. There’s another thing I dread. Untangling the lights and finding out which ones work, because I never manage to throw out the ones that don’t the year before. Hanging up all the old (some broken) ornaments from when the kids were small. Seriously, I’d like to throw a lot of them out and just keep the good ones. But the kids like them, so we end up with a tree that looks like the floor of a toddler’s room after they’ve trashed it. If the kids ever move out, I’ll buy all new decorations. Or decorate my tree with socks.

Ha! Who am I kidding. I’ll keep the lot of them and sob over them… even the broken ones.

socsbadge2016-17

This socky post was brought to you by SoCS, or Stream of Consciousness Saturday if you like. You can join in the fun, or just read more posts when you click here: https://lindaghill.com/2016/12/02/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-dec-316/


by 12 Comments

New Random Update

Redundancies. I’m studying them in my new-but-almost-finished Stylistic Editing course. I’ve decided to make the decision to get them all out of my system in this post I’m writing right now.

Edit: I’ve decided to edit all the redundancies from the remainder of this post because it’s been bothering me since I published it yesterday.

Sadly, James Justin, the scam artist nice man from Windows didn’t call me back. I had some great suggestions on what to say/do to him; you can read the hilarity in the comments here: https://lindaghill.com/2016/11/26/okay-i-need-your-help/ if you haven’t already. Since I told him my power was off when he called the first time, I was going to inform him that I never turn my computer off so I had no idea how to turn it on. This scenario is getting funnier by the day, since if he does call now, I can say, “THANK GOD YOU CALLED! I HAVEN’T HAD A COMPUTER SINCE SATURDAY!!” Of course it will take 15 minutes to boot, during which time I’ll have lots of opportunity to take advantage of the awesome suggestions on the other post. Then, after I go through all the steps he meticulously explains in order for him to hack my computer and steal all my money, I’ll ask, “What’s an ‘internet’?” Brilliant, no?

My One-Liner Wednesday today had more to do with real life than I wish it had. I was passing out last night when I should have been scheduling the post, then I woke up at 7:10 this morning – an hour and a half late – so I had to drive the kid to school before I could get around to the prompt. Needless to say, it’s been a rough one. However, this is a good opportunity to let you know that if I’m ever AWOL, you check my Twitter feed in the right-hand column, just over there —> somewhere. If possible, I’ll leave a note to let you know what’s happened to me.

I’m almost finished the final edit of my first book in the series, The Great Dagmaru. The actual title for Book 1 is yet to be determined. Book 2 is written and I’m three-quarters of the way through writing Book 3. Unfortunately my plan to get it published this year will not be met. I’m hoping to do so in February.

Between the craziness of the above and spending the day at the hospital in Kingston for a consultation, I’ve been shamefully negligent in responding to comments.  I hope to get back to you all soon!