Life in progress

Category Archives: Opinion


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#SoCS – Meme + Memory

Sitting at the dinner table yesterday with my 22-year-old son, I mentioned the spider meme ( https://lindaghill.com/2016/10/12/one-liner-wednesday-i-thought-we-were-roommates/ ) I came across months ago that I found very funny, and he laughed at me. When I asked why, he said I was too old to be saying words like “meme.” So today I decided to look up the origin of the word.

Turns out it was first coined by Richard Dawkins in his book, “The Selfish Gene” in 1976, but he shortened it from the Ancient Greek word, mimeme, meaning “imitated thing.” (Wikipedia link: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Dawkins#Fathering_the_meme ) HA! I can now say to my son. Though if I’m too old to say the word, how old does that make me? Still feeling a little weird about that.

Getting older is weird though. We have memories which give us the wisdom not to repeat our mistakes (with any luck) and yet our memory, or our capacity to remember, decreases with the shrinking of our brains. As much as I don’t like this, it’s inevitable. I either accept it or I fight it – fighting it takes so much more energy.

Having said that, I can fight it to some extent by continuing to learn and challenge myself. I wonder, often, if people who refuse to change their mindsets, form new opinions, or think they already know everything worth knowing lose their memories faster. I had an aunt who was very set in her ways. When she made a decision, she stuck with it no matter what. It might have been that she just hated making decisions so she got them over and done with as quickly as possible. But her decisions also were very predictable, because she never changed her preferences. She was stuck in a certain time, probably her childhood or early adulthood. I’m not sure I was born when she stopped trying new things. I always knew her as completely focused on the way things should be.

And, of course, the memories she shared never changed. The stories we all hear from our older family members are inevitably told as though they’ve never been told before. The polite thing to do is sound surprised, no matter how many times we’ve heard them. I wonder if people who are closed-minded have a narrower memory. Something my ever-learning mind will likely look into one day.

Now that I’ve veered totally off-course from my original intent for this post, I’ll have to go back and change the title. Coming up with titles for posts is hard, isn’t it?

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Stream of Consciousness is for everyone! Click the link to see how you can join in today: https://lindaghill.com/2016/11/11/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-nov-1216/

 


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For You, For Us, For Humanity. Please Share

On this, November 11th, the day we remember the people who have given their lives  for their countries, I find the disparity between the ultimate in self-sacrifice and the continuing reports of disrespect and lack of empathy discouraging. I had a discussion on Facebook this morning with a man who told me that his daughter-in-law had been verbally accosted in a store while holding her 18-month-old child; there are so very many reports such as this and even worse coming in, it almost makes me want to hide. But I won’t, because there is something I can do.

For all the people who lack empathy in the world, I believe there are more who understand that we all have our struggles. And whether we deem them bigger than ours or not, a struggle is a struggle. An exhausted single mother washing her own dishes in an effort to control something, a rich man wanting to protect his children from bullying, the only true perspective is in the circumstances of the individual.

Let us show that there are more of us who care. That there are greater numbers of those who would rather give than receive. I challenge you today and every day to show love and kindness to a stranger. Find a way to go out of your way to help. Even a smile could make a difference in someone’s life, but especially now. Especially today, when we face the very real imbalance between selflessness and hate.

Please share this. We may not have the power to fix the world, but we possess the ability to communicate. And with this amazing means, we can help make the world a better place to live. Let this go viral. At this point I don’t even care if you copy and paste these words and pretend you wrote them yourself. What is important is that we can make a difference for the good of humanity.

For you, and for all of us.


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Anxiety in Children

I thought it would be better by now, but it’s just getting worse. My son, Alex, as most of you know, is Deaf, and he hates masks. Anyone dressed in a costume is an extreme cause of stress for him, from the Easter Bunny, to Santa, to his school mascot. I believe it’s mostly because he can’t see their facial expressions, and thus can’t determine whether or not they are friendly or threatening. Whatever it is, Hallowe’en is the worst time of year.

This morning, getting him to go to school to spend the day with his friends was difficult, to say the least. He doesn’t seem to understand that the people he knows are inside the costumes. He’s sixteen years old physically, but at a mental age of six or seven. It’s not likely to get any better from here.

My concern is that I’m perpetuating the problem. Today I drove him to school so I could be there to reassure him everything was okay. He was nervous (he’s been having anxiety attacks every night before bed for the past week) even though he was able to explain to me himself that masks and scary costumes were not permitted at school. So okay, he needs support. I think there’s a fine line between coddling him and reassuring him when his fears are legitimate. But should I be the one supporting him at this point in his life?

I’m not going to be around forever. As he becomes an adult, there will be a time when he can no longer run to Mommy when there’s a problem. I believe he needs to start, at some point, (soon?) to rely on society to feel safe.

I’m at a loss. Any suggestions are welcome.


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Song-Lyric Sunday – Cities In Dust, The Mortal (Cover)

The theme for this week’s Song Lyric Sunday, a prompt from the lovely Helen Espinosa, (find her post here and join in today! https://helenespinosa.wordpress.com/2016/10/30/song-lyric-sunday-the-devil-in-i-by-slipknot/ ) is “scary.” The song I’ve chosen isn’t really scary, as such, but it’s about as Goth as you can get.

Originally written and recorded by Siouxsie and the Banshees in 1986, Cities In Dust may arguably be one of the most popular Goth songs of all time. Still haven’t heard it? Well here’s your chance.

I’m so excited to be able to share with you The Mortal’s cover of the song. Sakurai Atsushi, the vocalist, translated the verses into Japanese for his version of it. In my opinion, the arrangement of the song is even better than the original. Add to that the fact that I WAS ACTUALLY AT THE CONCERT in the video:

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My name is on the ticket!

and it’s even more awesome. The video was filmed at the NHK Hall in Tokyo, in November, 2015.

Here’s the video (subbed in English), and below are the lyrics.

Courtesy of A-Z Lyrics:

Cities In Dust

Water was running, children were running
You were running out of time
Under the mountain, a golden fountain
Were you praying at the Lares’ shrine?
But oh, your city lies in dust, my friend
But oh, your city lies in dust, my friend

We found you hiding, we found you lying
Choking on the dirt and sand
Your former glories and all the stories
Dragged and washed with eager hands
But oh, your city lies in dust, my friend
But oh, your city lies in dust, my friend
Your city lies in dust

Water was running, children were running
We found you hiding, we found you lying
Water was running, children were running
We found you hiding, we found you lying
Your city lies in dust, my friend
But oh, your city lies in dust, my friend

Hot and burning in your nostrils
Pouring down your gaping mouth
Your molten bodies, blanket of cinders
Caught in the throes
And oh, your city lies in dust, my friend
Oh, your city lies in dust, my friend
Oh, your city lies in dust, my friend
Oh, your city lies in dust, my friend
Your city lies in dust, my friend
Oh, your city lies in dust, my friend…

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#SoCS – Screen

“Experience is the screen through which we see the world.” ~ Linda G. Hill

I just came up with that. Someone else probably has as well, but just in case I’m not subconsciously plagiarizing it, I’ll leave it up there all by itself.

It’s always been true, I think. The whole nature vs. nurture thing may be something we’ll never all agree on – I believe there’s a balance there somewhere. There’s no doubt our experiences shape us, whether to turn us into what we’ve seen or give us the determination to be the opposite. Either way, our experiences colour how we perceive things, how we judge things to be true or false, comforting or scary, acceptable or not.

If the above statement has always been true, isn’t it more literally true now? When almost all we see of the world is through a physical screen, compounded by opinions that read as facts, and facts that are difficult to believe, it’s no wonder we’re often confused. Or maybe I just speak for myself.

With the world on the brink of change (if my screen is to be believed), we are witnessing history, close up and from afar at the same time. Will we always have this medium to express our thoughts and connect with one another? Loss of this is what I fear the most.

Note: I looked up my “quote” – this is the closest I came to it: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/483575-we-don-t-see-the-world-as-it-is-we-see So I’m sticking quotation marks around it and calling it mine. I’ll await the claim of whomever beat me to it.

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This post is part of Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click the following link to join in: https://lindaghill.com/2016/10/14/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-oct-1516/


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#SoCS – Awkward

Don’t you hate awkward exchanges between yourself and a stranger? They talk to you and the conversation finishes but you’re not sure how to walk away? I’ve had a couple of those this weekend. It’s been an exhausting one, mentally and emotionally. I’ve cried, I’ve laughed, I’ve learned, I’ve read my work out loud (something I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to do), and I’ve met some people who’ve inspired me. In all, I’d say it has been a good time. But now I’m about ready to shut down.

I had an awful conversation by text with my ex. If you know my pseudonym, you can find my rant on that blog. The rant helped, but the conversation helped to drain me. I think now I’ll go look for something to just zone out with. I’ll write more about my weekend later, if I have a chance.

Thanks again to Joey for hosting this week. Please, everyone, stand and applaud. She won’t think it’s awkward AT ALL. 😀

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This post is brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday: https://lindaghill.com/2016/09/30/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-oct-116/ Click the link to join in!


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Kingston WritersFest

It’s the time of year again for the Kingston Writer’s Festival! I bought tickets for seven events this year, one of which was last night at the Grand Theatre.

I had the pleasure to attend an interview with Annie Proulx, of Brokeback Mountain and The Shipping News fame, and Emma Donoghue, who, most famously so far, wrote both the novel and screenplay for Room. Both lovely ladies talked about and read from their newest releases, Barkskins, (Proulx) and The Wonder, (Donoghue), and I must say both books sound fascinating.

The best part of the evening, for me as an author, was when they talked about writing. I nodded my head when Ms. Donoghue said that if she were to describe where “home” is for her, it would be her laptop. Both authors agreed that when writing a novel, they live there inside it. It’s true for me as well. Emma also told a funny story about when she was writing Room, how she used her young son to figure out the logistics of escaping a rolled-up rug. I did the same, using my son to help me figure out the intricacies of a certain magic trick in “The Great Dagmaru.”

It was wonderful to be able to relate to two famous authors on a professional level – as professional as it can be to use your offspring as a prop, that is. And, of course, to be in the presence of greatness.

Most of the events I’ve signed up for to come are more for the sake of learning. A few are on the subject of writing non-fiction, in anticipation of putting together my memoir on parenting a Deaf child. I hope to update you all on how things are going throughout the weekend.


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Meet a Book Reviewer

I’m writing this quick post to introduce you all to Yecheilyah Ysrayl, a book review blogger, author, and all-round nice gal here on WordPress. It’s not just because she reviewed my novelette, All Good Stories, and gave it 5 stars, I’m writing about her because she gives great (and helpful) reviews. In a market so full, it’s hard to choose what to read, isn’t it? We really need reviews these days that go beyond the minimalistic, “I liked it,” to know what we’re investing our money in. Because money doesn’t grow on trees. Neither do books anymore, for that matter. (Sorry for the cheesy joke, I’ve been watching too much Stephen Colbert.)

If you’d like to check out Yecheilyah’s reviews, you can find a great example by clicking here. (Spoiler alert: it’s mine. It’s a really fantastic review!)

And even more importantly, if you’d like her to review YOUR book, you can register by clicking here.

So go and meet Yecheilyah. You’ll be happy you did!

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Find All Good Stories on
Amazon.com (U.S.A.) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01JQWMQAE
Amazon.ca (Canada) https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B01JQWMQAE
Amazon.co.uk (United Kingdom) https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B01JQWMQAE
Amazon.com.au (Australia) https://www.amazon.com.au/dp/B01JQWMQAE
and on Amazon, in English, almost everywhere else in the world, as well as
Kobo https://store.kobobooks.com/en-ca/ebook/all-good-stories


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Angriest, a #SoCS Rant (with swear words and everything)

There are a few things that annoy me about people, but what gets me angriest is when people get annoyed at my kids. This rant is brought on by a trip to the grocery store earlier today and a woman behind us in line. There isn’t much room once you’ve paid for your groceries and you’re packing your own bags. Alex, my Deaf son, was helping me – I was standing at the end of the belt and he was moving things closer to me while standing in the lane where we came out after paying. There was a woman there with a cart who had just paid for her groceries. All she had was a cart full of cases of pop (soda, for those of you in the U.S.). When I turned, after she had raised her voice (I didn’t know she was there) she was saying to Alex that she just needed to get out, that she didn’t have to pack anything, she would just very much appreciate it if we’d excuse her.

Normally an “excuse me” doesn’t require that much explanation, so it occurred to me that she’d probably been saying it to Alex for a while. He had his back turned to her, so he didn’t know she was there. As she walked away, she looked at me and said, “Thank you very much for moving out of the way.” Waaay over the top, even for a Canadian. So I said, “Sorry he didn’t move right away, he’s Deaf.” Or I tried to say that, but she cut me off: “No, no, no, no, I really appreciate it!”

Fuck you, sarcastic bitch.

I want to say I wish people wouldn’t judge, but I realize I’m judging her. Maybe she’d been having a really hard day? But does she need to take it out on us?

I always say that you can make someone’s day with a smile, no matter who they are. Even if they’re a stranger. You can also ruin someone’s day by being sarcastic and jumping to conclusions. Or rather jumping to conclusions and then being sarcastic.  Or maybe I’m just overreacting because I want to protect my son.

One way or another, be nice out there. And be patient.

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This post is brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Check out the rules and join in here: https://lindaghill.com/2016/09/16/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-sept-1716/


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A #SoCS post about SoCS

When I started Stream of Consciousness Saturday, two and a half years ago, I did it because I wanted to write something on the weekends without having to think about it too much. For most people, the weekdays are the busiest and weekends are for relaxing. My situation is the opposite, having the kids home all day. So I’d sit and wrack my brain for a “good idea” of what to write and usually just get stressed while I watched my views plummet. (I’ve always paid attention to numbers, so the views on my blog were a natural obsession for me.)

The whole thing started at the mall, actually. I was sitting in the food court, eating my lunch alone, and wanted to write something. Anything. So I took out my trusty notebook and began. I came home later and transcribed it verbatim on my blog. It was a week or two later that I came up with the idea to let other people in on the fun. And it has been fun, hasn’t it? (This is starting to sound doomed – it’s not.) (Also, I’m going to end another paragraph with brackets.)

I think the whole love affair I have with stream of consciousness writing stems from the way I write fiction best. I’m a pantser, which means I don’t plot. I write by the seat of my pants. It’s a lot like stream of consciousness, because you never know where it’s going. The difference is, when writing fiction you’re in someone else’s head. Someone you have gotten to know by writing backstories and by living with them through their trials and tribulations. Their struggles and their joys. Once I know them well, they carry my mind along… much like my mind carries me along to write what I’m writing now. It’s so completely natural, and that’s what I enjoy about it the most when I read all of your SoCS posts. It’s a lovely, unfiltered glimpse that allows us all to really see how we connect with one another. Because we’re really all the same inside.

Hey! I managed to write a paragraph with no brackets! (So where was I?) (See what I did there?)

I suppose to go back to the beginning, I just wanted to say I still and will probably always appreciate the concept of stream of consciousness writing. It’s an escape inwards. Like an explosion of bodily fluids but without the mess. Fingertip sweat. I should probably shut up now.

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This post is brought to you by (if you haven’t figured it out by now) Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click the link and join in the fun today! https://lindaghill.com/2016/09/09/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-sept-1016/