Life in progress


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189. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language

Thursday, March 8th, 6:00pm
Melvin and Scott

 

Melvin: Holy shit, man, did you fart?

Scott: No …?

Melvin: No way man. It was you. I’d know your farts anywhere!

Scott: It wa’n’t me, man! It’s probably you!

Melvin: Wa’n’t me! I never stunk like that.

Scott: Bullshit, man. You fuckin’ reek like shit all the time.

Melvin: Nuh uh. Hey, maybe it was that old lady that walked by.

Scott: Prolly.

Melvin: Fuckin’ old ladies, man.

 

Next stop: Friday, March 9th, 4:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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183. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language

Friday, March 2nd, 7:00pm
Ethyl (and Jade)

 

Ethyl sits at the window. Jade takes the seat beside her.

Ethyl: (under her breath) Pfft.

Jade turns and smiles tentatively.

Ethyl: (under her breath) Slut.

Jade: I beg your pardon?

Ethyl: (under her breath) Tart.

Jade: If you’ve got something to say, say it.

Ethyl: You look like a whore.

Jade: How … dare you!

Ethyl: You’re off to get paid for a man’s pleasure, aren’t you? Look at the way you’re dressed.

Jade: It’s a skirt and blouse! I’m going to visit my mom.

Ethyl: Liar!

Jade: (stands) Lady, you need to keep your thoughts to yourself.

Ethyl: (smiles sweetly) Just kidding.

Jade: (sits and crosses her arms) Hmph.

Ethyl: (under her breath) Cocksucker.

 

Next stop: Saturday, March 3rd, 6:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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#SoCS & #JusJoJan 2018, the 13th – the conversation carried

I want to start this post by freely admitting that before I opened the tab to start writing it, I moved away from my copy of Fifty Shades Darker. Being that this is mostly a family-friendly blog, I didn’t want to be forced to cheat on the off-chance that I would actually come across a sentence that didn’t contain, “Oh my.”

Moving into a much more comfortable spot (in more ways than one), I looked around and found that my copy of On Fire was the closest thing to hand. I opened it to a random spot, which happened to be Alisha Costanzo’s story, “The Mark of the Phoenix.” I wish I could tell you what it’s about, but I haven’t had time to read it yet. It’s a lovely book, though; one of my own stories is in it. 😀

But I digress. The sixth, seventh, and eighth words at the top of page 266 are “the conversation carried.” There’s a comma in there in the original text, but it makes more sense to try to talk about the words without the comma to confuse things. My first thought was of sitting in a movie theatre, near someone who won’t shut up all the way through the movie. They have the ads on now to tell people to shut off their phones, but I’m guessing no one has come up with an effective ad to tell people to zip their lips. You’d think it would be common sense, but it’s more than some people seem to possess. It’s why I loved the drive-in … or one of the reasons. If you’d known me as a teenager, you’d likely know that I steamed up my share of car windows at the drive-in. …because I had them rolled up to keep the mosquitoes out, of course. Get your mind out of the gutter! And yeah, having a mosquito buzzing in your ear while you’re trying to watch a movie is about as bad as rude people talking in your ear. So where was I? Oh yeah. Mosquitoes don’t have conversations. Or do they? Maybe they do …

Conversations carry so much farther nowadays than they did back when drive-ins were a thing. Back when one had to either spend too much money on a phone call or wait weeks for the reply to a letter via snail mail. Does anyone actually write letters anymore? I’d like to. I wish I had the motivation. It would be cool to do as a promotional device for fans of, say, an author. Hmmm …

On Fire is on sale at Amazon. Click here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0784DSSVB

This random post is brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday and Just Jot it January. Click the link to find all the other awesome posts in the comment section! https://lindaghill.com/2018/01/12/the-friday-reminder-for-socs-jusjojan-daily-prompt-jan-13th-2018/


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90. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language

Wednesday, November 29th, 5:00pm
Monica (and Justin)

 

Monica sits in the window seat. Justin takes the seat across the aisle.

Justin: Hey, don’t I know you from somewhere?

Monica: Who, me? I don’t think so. I came here from out west.

Justin: Oh yeah? Whereabouts?

Monica: Calgary.

Justin: Calgary! You must know Jimmy Schrodinger!

Monica: Errr … no …?

Justin: How about Dave Brown?

Monica: I do know a Dave Brown, but …

Justin: Long blonde hair? Really skinny?

Monica: (shakes head) No. He has short black hair and he’s pretty big.

Justin: Weird. My name is Justin by the way. What’s yours?

Monica: (scoffs) Fuck you.

Justin: Well that’s nice. Are all people from Calgary like you?

Monica: Ask Jimmy Whatever, asshole.

 

Next stop: Thursday, November 30th, 7:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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Angriest, a #SoCS Rant (with swear words and everything)

There are a few things that annoy me about people, but what gets me angriest is when people get annoyed at my kids. This rant is brought on by a trip to the grocery store earlier today and a woman behind us in line. There isn’t much room once you’ve paid for your groceries and you’re packing your own bags. Alex, my Deaf son, was helping me – I was standing at the end of the belt and he was moving things closer to me while standing in the lane where we came out after paying. There was a woman there with a cart who had just paid for her groceries. All she had was a cart full of cases of pop (soda, for those of you in the U.S.). When I turned, after she had raised her voice (I didn’t know she was there) she was saying to Alex that she just needed to get out, that she didn’t have to pack anything, she would just very much appreciate it if we’d excuse her.

Normally an “excuse me” doesn’t require that much explanation, so it occurred to me that she’d probably been saying it to Alex for a while. He had his back turned to her, so he didn’t know she was there. As she walked away, she looked at me and said, “Thank you very much for moving out of the way.” Waaay over the top, even for a Canadian. So I said, “Sorry he didn’t move right away, he’s Deaf.” Or I tried to say that, but she cut me off: “No, no, no, no, I really appreciate it!”

Fuck you, sarcastic bitch.

I want to say I wish people wouldn’t judge, but I realize I’m judging her. Maybe she’d been having a really hard day? But does she need to take it out on us?

I always say that you can make someone’s day with a smile, no matter who they are. Even if they’re a stranger. You can also ruin someone’s day by being sarcastic and jumping to conclusions. Or rather jumping to conclusions and then being sarcastic.  Or maybe I’m just overreacting because I want to protect my son.

One way or another, be nice out there. And be patient.

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This post is brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Check out the rules and join in here: https://lindaghill.com/2016/09/16/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-sept-1716/