Life in progress

Category Archives: Parenting


by 37 Comments

The Advocate

I’m not sure if this is going to come off as a tired rant, a tirade, or an attempt to show others that they’re not alone, but here we go anyway.

Advocating for one’s family is a ball-buster. Bureaucracy makes it so that the people working at the level the public deals with on a daily basis in the schools, and all the way up to the federal government, are in a position to simply throw up their hands and say, “Sorry, this is the way it is.” Which makes it necessary for us advocates to go above their heads. But it’s not as easy as just making a phone call. Oh no. There are “proper channels” we must go through. Forms to fill out and send either by snail mail or fax machines we have to drive around town to find and then spend money on.  And then there’s the wait. The wait that is so damned long we forget whether we do indeed have to just wait or follow up. Follow up? Oh yes, start at the bottom again to get the right phone/fax/post office box number.

And while all that’s going on, something else has come up. It’s a lot of work and it’s stressful! Even if we do manage to talk to someone on the phone we have to go into “stand and fight” mode before we even start. Because nothing is easy and no one at the other end is going to give in. If we’re lucky (and I use that term loosely) we get transfered to the next higher up on the food chain so that we can go through our case again. And then what? Normally it’s wait and see. Or, “We’ll mail you the forms to fill out.” Again.

What I have on the go includes (but is not limited to) getting an aid to help my 20 year old Autistic son in class so he can graduate high school this year; getting the funding I’m entitled to for my other son’s eyeglasses; finding out what the hell is going on with the holter (heart) monitor his cardiologist ordered months ago; sorting which hoops I have to jump through for the nurse at his school who doesn’t want him to eat by mouth this year, this after a lengthy process (with a two year waiting list) of having a swallow study done, followed by a report which was discussed at a meeting with the specialists and the above mentioned nurse to explain that he could eat by mouth; finding out what happened to the money my mother was supposed to get back from the condo corporation after we sold her unit… The list goes on and on. And it’s all wrapped up in bureaucratic bullcrap.

Luckily I’m a stay-at-home mom, so I don’t do anything all day anyway… 🙄

I’m sure I’m not alone in this. In fact I’m sure there are others out there who have it even worse than I do. I have to wonder if there’s a better way to do things. Don’t you?


by 24 Comments

#SoCS – Expectations

Is it possible to write stream of consciousness style when there’s someone screaming in your ear, stealing away your focus? I’m about to find out.

“Never expect anything and you’ll never be disappointed.” it’s a phrase I live by. I had hoped – half expected – to get this weekend away, but my ex came down with some kind of a bug so here I am with a disgruntled kid who doesn’t want me to pay any attention to anything but him. I had a back-up plan – his older brother – but he’s sick too.

It’s funny. I spend so much energy attempting not to promise the kids anything until I’m positive it’s going to happen but I don’t always put it into practice myself. But it’s really the same thing, isn’t it? I allow them to hope by saying maybe, or wait and see, but I don’t allow them to expect anything, and so if it doesn’t happen, they’re not too disappointed. It’s good advice, no matter whether you’re doing it yourself or doing it for someone else. Yet I don’t know if I’m actually teaching them anything…

It’s particularly important for someone like my son who is Autistic not to have unexpected events happen. Or for plans to go awry. Although I find as he gets older (he’ll be 20 next month) he’s getting better with change – more able to accept it. Still, there are certain things that can not, in his mind, be tolerated. God forbid anything ever happens to his computer.

I like surprises. Good ones at least, and most of the bad ones I’m able to roll with. Then again, I try not to expect too much.

This full-circle ramble is brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click the link and join in today! https://lindaghill.com/2015/10/02/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-oct-315/

SoCS badge 2015


by 11 Comments

#SoCS – Eating and Other Minutiae

You know you’re tired when:

I had my toast on my plate on the kitchen table along with the tub of margarine (open) and jam (open-can’t remember what kind but it has three fruits in it), and since I was talking to my friend John about something completely unrelated to getting my toast ready, I put the jam on before the margarine.

Wow, that was not as exciting a story as I thought it would be.

I had a dream the other morning that I was at the concert I’m going to in Tokyo in November and I was stuck at the back of the hall and there were no lights on the stage (which was tucked into the corner of the room) so I missed the entire show. I think that qualifies as a nightmare, don’t you?

So I’m going to Kingston today and staying over night to get a break. The Kingston Writer’s Fest is on this weekend and I’m hoping to get tickets to an event tomorrow – if I do, I’ll try to write about the experience next week. I’m also hoping to get together for coffee this afternoon with our gracious badge-maker and host of the blog, “My Leaky Boat.” It’s gonna be fun!

Now I’m off to wash all my sheets and blankets – the cat peed on my bed sometime yesterday. Luckily it’s a nice day out, so it should all dry on the line.

See you on the flipside!

This post has been brought to you via Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click the link and join in today! https://lindaghill.com/2015/09/25/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-sept-2615/

SoCS badge 2015


by 16 Comments

SoCS – My Roots

I often wonder where my ideas come from. My stories seem to come out of the ether, as do the characters in my fictional works. Sometimes I’m inspired by something tangible, like a picture, a song, or another story or even a line I’ve read – sometimes it’s even a passing thought, like “what if?” But no matter where it comes from or what I do, it ends up twisted. And I swear to God, it’s not on purpose. It happens. My fingers take me places I can’t, and don’t, imagine… kinda. It’s hard to explain, because of course it’s coming from my imagination. But at the same time it seems to be coming from elsewhere, like a voice whispering in my ear.

So now that you think I’m nuts…

I have to wonder how much of it is genetic. My father was a creative guy. He made up stories, he played the guitar, his wit was extremely quick. (I’m sure that’s where my eldest son gets his wit from, though his dad (my ex) is a funny guy too.) I wish my father had lived long enough to tell me more of his inner thoughts. No father in his right mind would tell his adolescent daughter about the darker side of his thoughts. It would be fascinating though, to understand whether there’s anything to these twists that are more from my background and less from the ether.

Unless, of course, my father is the one whispering in my ear.

This second creepy SoCS post of mine this week comes to you via this post: https://lindaghill.com/2015/09/18/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-sept-1915/ Join in the fun! It’s not all creepy – I promise!

SoCS badge 2015


by 20 Comments

SoCS – Distemper

Distemper, datemper… which temper do you want? You know, sometimes you just want to edit. But you can’t. So here we go.

I’ve been sitting here for the past fifteen minutes trying to come up with a word with “temp” in it that doesn’t mean it will soon go away: temporary, CONtemporary (new now, old tomorrow), tempus fugit (time flies), temperature (when does that ever stay consistent?) (okay, if you live in the desert maybe it pretty much does), template. Template! It’s something you use so that you can recreate the same thing over and over – without changing it!

Now what?

I suppose I can still talk about how things change, but that’s so depressing, isn’t it? Unless I’m sad, then I want things to change for the better. Contentment is so rare though, isn’t it? When I am content I try my best to stay in the moment, to remember details, and to enjoy it to the fullest. Contentment scares me though. I have to say I’m pretty happy with the way my life is at the moment. All three of my kids live at home, and they’re all relatively healthy (Alex has a lingering cough, but it’s nothing life-threatening) and they’re all relatively happy as well, and busy with their lives. It all makes me wonder what’s going to happen next. I try not to speculate. Again, stay in the moment. Just stay in the moment, Linda. Enjoy it. Even when I’m being kept awake at 2 am by a coughing kid… Yeah.

Sometimes enjoying my contentment is more of a challenge than others.

I have a hard time staying seated. When I’m writing or editing I have to get up at least every half an hour or so. I sometimes walk into the kitchen, see that there’s really nothing to munch on (because I’ve been smart enough not to buy anything to munch on) and go back to the computer empty-handed. That’s a good thing. I could so easily gain a hundred pounds without even trying if I gave in to all the temptations. Hey, there’s another word that’s not temporary… or is it? I suppose if temptations were constant they’d grind us down so much that they would no longer be temptations but reality instead. So yeah, temporary.

I’m going to temporarily leave reality now… (which means temporary unconsciousness… stream of unconsciousness Saturday… SoUS… French for suck… this really sucks, doesn’t it? Hahahahahahahaha!)

This ramble has been brought to you by SoCS: https://lindaghill.com/2015/09/11/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-sept-1215/ Join in earlier than I do next week and have some fun!

SoCS badge 2015


by 27 Comments

One-Liner Wednesday – The First Lesson in Relationships

Realizing you’re taking your grumpiness out undeservedly on your loved ones is the hard part. Apologizing is easy.

_________________________________________________________________________________________

Anyone who would like to try it out, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds!

4. Have fun!


by 17 Comments

The Young and the Rested

I was inspired by the Daily Prompt here: https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/the-young-and-the-rested/ not as much by the actual prompt —

“When was the last time you felt truly rejuvenated and energized? What made you feel that way?”

–but by the title of it. The Young and the Rested.

The fact is, I’ve been at home with the young’uns for the last two weeks of the summer without much of a break. Consider my challenges: Sunday dawned bright and early and Alex, my youngest, wanted to go on a bus ride with his brother. First he had to feed, a process which takes about two hours via feeding pump. So we were sitting around the table, Alex and I and my BFF John, playing a rousing game of Life (the board game) while he fed, when Alex decided it was time for his brother to wake up. I said no, they couldn’t leave for another hour, let him sleep a bit more. Unplug me from my pump, Alex demanded. I don’t want to eat anymore, I want to go now. This was not an option; he turned the pump off anyway. I told him that if he wanted to continue to play his game he had to feed. No way, he said. So I walked away.

He proceeded to follow me around the house, digging his fingers into me to get my attention whilst screaming. Fine, I said, stop screaming and poking me or go to your room.

Okay, I’ll go to my room, he said. With the pump off (still) he went to his room. After a while I told him he could come out if he would turn on his pump. No way, he said. I want to go on the bus, to which I replied, You’re not going on the bus until your feed is finished.

The argument began at 9:30 am. It finished when I finally force-fed him by syringe at 1pm. The consequence, no bus.

This is a typical day for me at home with Alex. He gets something into his head that he wants to do and he will absolutely not consider the consequences of his actions. He’s an adolescent still going through his terrible twos. It takes him hours to give in – and I’m consistent! And as patient as anyone I have ever met. Of course there is the language barrier – he is Deaf and I am hearing. Although my sign language is limited, I still have to believe that after almost 15 years of living together I can at least get my point across on the most basic level.

He’s also sick with that awful summer cold that’s going around, which is really where all this ties in with the prompt. Last night he woke up coughing at 1:40 am. I gave him something that I thought might help (doctor prescribed codeine) but it didn’t. At 4 am I finally gave in and let him watch a movie in bed. So neither of us are rested… and I’m old.

When was the last time I felt truly rejuvenated and energized? The early nineties. Before I started having kids. Parenting is such fun, isn’t it?


by 16 Comments

One-Liner Wednesday – I’m Something All Right

If we can say there’s no rest for the wicked, then at two in the morning when my child gets me out of bed I can safely say something weary this way comes. ~ Quote courtesy of my brain without sleep.

_________________________________________________________________________________________

Anyone who would like to try it out, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds!

4. Have fun!


by 34 Comments

There are Two Morals to this Story

It all started last night – two fruit flies sat on the edge of a ledge in my kitchen. Side by side. So close that I could kill them both with one slap. I wound up for the hit (they were big fruit flies, okay?) and I… missed. The fruit flies that is. What I hit was the fruit fly trap (that’s not working). It fell off the shelf knocking a wine glass into the sink where it broke. Damnit! I thought. I smashed a wine glass for nothing.

But that’s not where it ended.

This morning I was getting Alex ready for camp. He followed me into the kitchen and started complaining that his foot hurt. I didn’t get a chance to look at it; someone knocked at the door. While I dealt with that, Alex began to scream. He didn’t come out of the kitchen and the man at the door (the postman) is Deaf, so I ignored Alex and finished up with the postman. When I got back into the kitchen there was blood everywhere. It took me a while to figure out where it was coming from – turns out there was a cut–a hole actually–on the bottom of his foot. Yes, the fruit flies strike again.

So while I was discussing with Alex whether or not he would go to camp, Chris, my Autistic son came downstairs and began to insist I take Alex out of the house. He had plans to spend time in the living room (rather than the computer room where he locks himself whenever his little brother is home). When Chris has plans, they’re not easily changed. He ranted. He yelled. He swore. He threatened. He banged doors and hit walls. And then he went for a walk. Luckily by the time he came back he’d calmed himself – he even apologised and gave me a hug. I still couldn’t help imagine what might have happened if he’d been hit by a car or something while he was out. It’s the writer in me… and I’ve always had a bit of a morbid imagination. Anyway, I could just see it.

Officer: What happened, Ma’am?

Me: Well you see, it all began with an attempted murder… of two fruit flies.

The morals of the story? Karma’s truly a bitch. And never underestimate the significance of a fruit fly.


by 9 Comments

SoCS – Division

It’s been a busy day. So busy, in fact, that I’m getting this post in just under the wire. My attention has been widely divided today between sick family members (nothing life threatening though) and needy ones. Alex was, as usual, the most needy. I went on a nice bus ride with him today between thunderstorms which he hates so much he has to hide under my arm when he sees lightning outside. And then Chris wanted to go and see Antman, which I didn’t even know existed until he told me he wanted to go to it. While he was at the movies I devised a way to sit for a couple of hours to work on my editing.

To devise… the present tense of the word must be division, mustn’t it? Or is it devision. Spell check doesn’t like that one. But yeah, to have to devised a plan has to be to have made a devision. Or a division.

Do you ever look at a word for so long that it no longer makes any sense? When it happens to me, I tend to canoodle new words into my vocabulary. I’m not even sure I just used the word “canoodle” correctly, but it sounds good and this is stream of consciousness writing and I’m not allowed to go back and edit it…

*waves goodbye to my last paragraph as it drifts off into the wavy sea of internet land*

Bed is good. I think I’ll go there.

Alex

Alex

This post is brought to you by the letters V, I, and S, and SoCS: https://lindaghill.com/2015/07/24/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-july-2515/

Badge by: Doobster at Mindful Digressions

Badge by: Doobster at Mindful Digressions