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The MMR Vaccination Debate – a Parental Perspective

As the mother of an Autistic child, I can’t help but put my two cents worth in on the recent uprising of controversy surrounding the outbreak of measles and the risk of administering the measles, mumps and rubella vaccination. I do believe I have a rather uncommon perspective on the matter. Unique? Maybe not. Nevertheless, here it is.

When my first son (who is completely “normal”) was one year old we went in for his MMR shot and the doctor suggested that I be immunized at the same time. Much to my regret, I did; I found out a few weeks later that I had been two weeks pregnant with my second son when I had the shot. When my second, Chris, was born everything seemed fine. He was developing according to his milestones and even beyond them. He spoke a few words and played normally. Then, at one year of age he had his MMR. He didn’t speak another word until he was four and a half. He was diagnosed at the age of four with Autism.

It wasn’t until after his diagnosis that I heard about the correlation between the MMR vaccine and Autism; for me it all fell into place. What else could it be? I had one perfectly healthy child and another who wasn’t and there are cognizance issues in the history of neither mine nor their father’s families. Then a study was done. It was “proven” that there is no medical evidence that the MMR shot has caused Autism in anyone. I remain skeptical to this day.

BUT.

When Chris was five years old I had another child with a host of different problems. Alex was born with Noonan Syndrome. In the 1960’s Dr. Jacqueline Noonan discovered a set of characteristics when, put together, proved to be a congenital disorder. My baby’s most life-threatening symptoms were those of his heart: an atrial septal defect, hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, and the pulmonary stenosis that was bound to end his life within a year if we didn’t have it corrected with open heart surgery. We were told he had a 50/50 chance of surviving the operation. We went through with it when he was a mere two months old, and yes, it nearly killed him. When the surgeon came into the room and told us that he had just resuscitated our son with open-heart massage and that if his heart stopped again they’d just let him go peacefully we were both frightened and devastated.

Here is what gives me my uncommon perspective on the MMR controversy. I had Alex immunized when he was a year old. Measles, mumps and rubella are all life-threatening illnesses. Having the choice between a healthy Autistic child (which I have) and a dead child (which I almost had) there was no contemplation on my part, even given the suspicion I have that the MMR shots both I had whilst pregnant, and Chris had at the age of one, caused his Autism.

Alex was rendered Deaf during the course of his surgery due to a prolonged period without oxygen. He is not Autistic. I wouldn’t hesitate to have him vaccinated again if it was called for.


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JusJoJan 27 – How Parenting is Like the Weather

Long ago I read a story–it’s probably a famous one, but I’ll relate it here in brief–about how the sun and the wind entered into a competition to make a man take off his coat. The wind, of course, tried to blow it off, but the harder the wind blew, the tighter the man held his coat around him. The wind eventually gave up and then the sun came out. The man, becoming hot, took off his coat. The moral of the story is that sometimes coaxing is better than trying to force someone to do something.

The story came to mind today, as it often does on a bitterly windy day, when I try to bury myself in my scarf. For some reason the thought led to parenting.

My motto has long been, “Pick your battles.” If it’s not that important, meaning no one is going to get seriously injured or be more than ten minutes late for something, I tend to either let the issue go or do my best to be persuasive rather than forceful. The practice has improved my powers of persuasion to the point that I’m getting pretty good at it. Failing that, I’ve learned to be patient. To take a deep breath and remind myself that it’s not the end of the world if Alex completely empties a drawer of perfectly folded clothes to do it again himself, or insists on cleaning his own feeding tube when I know damned well he’s going to ask for the help he at first refuses because it can’t reach where it has to hang.

But I’m only human. There are times when I feel I must stuff him in the car against his will, or restrain him to keep him from falling out his second storey bedroom window. Part of these necessities come down to the fact that I’m not completely fluent in sign language – part of it comes from his own behavioural issues and the fact that he’s mentally well below his age level but physically entering puberty. This puts him in the range of adolescence mixed with the terrible twos.

Still. It’s better to be sunny than windy.

JJJ 2015

Just Jot It January is nearly over – link your post today and get your participant’s badge at the end of the month! https://lindaghill.com/2015/01/01/just-jot-it-january-pingback-post-and-rules/


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JusJoJan 26 – It’s the Little Things

While there are large things in life that cause stress, like selling your mother’s condo whilst trying to maintain your own home, keep your family reasonably comfortable and happy and hanging on to your sanity (yes, I’m making this about you, because if I don’t I may realize what seventh circle of purgatory I’ve landed myself in), sometimes it’s the little things which finally make you snap.

Like when you take your kid for a haircut and the barber grazes the back of his neck with the trimmer and oh my Lord it’s the end of the world. He gets home, strips off his shirt and wraps himself in a fleece blanket that he refuses to take off even when he goes to bed that night, waking himself up at 2:47 (and you with him) because he’s so tangled up in coverings and the next day you find yourself applying Polysporin to a pink-tinged area that (point to it again? I can’t find it.) is so minute but he still refuses to wear a shirt over.

And then! And then! later when he’s almost forgotten about the agony he’s in over his haircut and he’s helping your mother wash the dishes (he’s washing, she’s drying) and he’s all done and putting the Tupperware bucket upside down on top of the clean dishes in the dish rack and your mother is taking it off to get to the dishes that HAVE to be dried and your kid is putting it back on and she’s taking it off (because by this time your mother’s OCD is battling to the death with your kid’s OCD) and he’s putting it back on and screaming and she’s taking it off and yelling at him in a language he can’t even hear (because he’s Deaf) let alone understand and all you want to do is run away from home…

…because it’s the little things that finally do you in…

JJJ 2015

This crazy slice of YOUR life was brought to you in conjunction with none other than Just Jot It January. Click on the link and join in today – only 6 days left! https://lindaghill.com/2015/01/01/just-jot-it-january-pingback-post-and-rules/

 


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Passion

Note: The following is something I posted yesterday as a Guest on HarsH ReaLiTy. Apologies if you’re seeing this in duplicate.

I went to Japan for five minutes and thirty-six seconds. I’m not talking about a virtual trip on the internet. I’m not talking about astral projection. I’m talking about an eleven day trip which included 25 hours of flying time from Toronto to Tokyo and back for the sake of a five minute and thirty-six second long song.

I fell in love with it the first time I heard it. It moved me to tears and I knew deep inside that I HAD to hear it and see it performed live. I was that passionate about it, about the man who wrote it and sings it – about the deep meaning in the lyrics and just the way he sings it and how utterly beautiful it is… So I made it happen. I couldn’t not.

Before you write me off as insane, please consider…

Merriam-Webster’s definition of Passion, ganked off the internet:

pas·sion
noun \ˈpa-shən\

: a strong feeling of enthusiasm or excitement for something or about doing something

: a strong feeling (such as anger) that causes you to act in a dangerous way

: a strong sexual or romantic feeling for someone

Passion is something we humans share. It’s responsible for much of the world’s most beautiful art in all its forms; it is the cause of some of the most heinous crimes. It gives us the ability to love deeply and to hate with seemingly every fibre of our being. It’s something that our children have also. And how scary can that potentially be?

You can say to a ten-year-old, “Son, there are things you will be passionate about when you grow older. You may feel like killing someone one day. Don’t,” but what’s the use? Because in the heat of passion we lose all reason. Logic goes off into the stratosphere and all that is left inside of us is pure emotion.

Passion is one of the things I believe we can only teach our children by example. For instance, if we talk about killing the guy in the car that cut us off, they will learn that passion can turn us against one another. If we follow our passion and turn it into a career, we will teach our children to follow their dreams.

And so I come back to my adventure – my trip to Japan. Aside from personally needing to make the trip, I feel in doing so I showed my children that if they want something badly enough, they can make it happen, no matter how unlikely. And no matter how insignificant it might seem to someone else and no matter how they may be judged for going for it; just do it.

The song? It doesn’t really matter. But here’s another one by the same band. It is appropriately called “Passion.”

The lyrics, in English, can be found by clicking here. But if you read them, don’t do the stuff he sings about – just sayin’ 😉

If you’d like to read about the absolutely incredible experience I had at the concert, click here. The post includes a picture of me, taken by the lead guitarist of the band from the stage during the concert!

Thanks very much for reading,
Linda


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JusJoJan 13 – On the Buses, part deux

Just a short jot today. One of my youngest son’s favourite past times, for reasons known only to him, is riding on the city bus. And so almost weekly we go on a rather useless trip in the car to the bus station, board a bus and for $8.40 take a return trip to the mall – a trip that if I were to drive my car would cost around 1/10th of that. But whatever. It occasionally gives me ideas for my “Second Seat on the Right” series (which you can find on my fiction blog), it amuses Alex, and once in a while I get an interesting picture.

I wrote a while back about the politeness of the people in my town and that even the graffiti is “nice.” Here’s the latest:

Much love

Much love

I swear I didn’t write (nor jot) this myself.

This post is part of Just Jot It January. Click here and add your own jottings today! https://lindaghill.com/2015/01/01/just-jot-it-january-pingback-post-and-rules/

JJJ 2015


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JusJoJan 11 – Just Random

Remember last week when I tripped over the suitcase in the dark? I have the weirdest injury from that. There’s a spot on the outside of my knee that’s numb except when I touch the front of my knee. If I touch it lightly it feels as though someone is rubbing their fingernail down the numb spot. If I forget about it and kneel on it, it hurts like hell. Nerve damage anyone?

I spent twenty minutes this afternoon looking for an excuse to have a glass of red wine. I finally found one. I shared it on my Facebook page, which, if you’re not following you should be. Here, I’ll make it easy for you to find it. https://www.facebook.com/lindaghill.fiction Cheers!

I’m absolutely dying to get to my notes from Japan and share them with the world. Alex is better today again, (yesterday was horrible but that seems to have passed) so with any luck he’ll be back at school tomorrow. 😀 I’m also hoping that the urge I’ve been feeling today to be more creatively sociable will remain with me. I want to start interacting more on Twitter and Facebook. It’ll be a challenge, but I think I’m up to it.

I have to admit I’m getting a little antsy over my novel’s beta readers. The only feedback I’ve had so far is that the first 20 or so pages weren’t that interesting. I know I can improve them. What I don’t know is if anyone got past them… *bites nails*

We haven’t had much snow here but it’s freakin’ cold. Here’s a picture of me in a 20km/hr, -26°C head wind:

CAM00546

In other news, we have a temporary cat. Actually, two of them. They go with the temporary cave dweller in my basement, also known as my eldest son. The good news is, the more sociable of the cats is keeping Alex busy. I’ll get pictures soon. Right now I believe Alex is trying to pry the cat out of a box…

Gotta go.

JJJ 2015Join in! https://lindaghill.com/2015/01/01/just-jot-it-january-pingback-post-and-rules/ It’s never too late!

(meow, smash, ahhh!)

 


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JusJoJan Day 11-20 Prompt

And now for something not completely different… I was originally going to make the three prompts for Just Jot It January 2015 Reading, Writing, and ‘Rithmatic, however, Writing has been covered in many of the prompts that fell under the Reading category which makes it seem a little–get ready for another “r” word–redundant. So for the second prompt I’ll skip straight on to ‘Rithmatic and make the third prompt something truly different.

Here are some ideas on what you can do with the prompt, “‘Rithmatic”:

1. Write something on adding, subtracting, multiplying, dividing, fractions… you get the idea.

2. Choose a number to write about. Any number.

3. Got a magic 8 ball at home? Roll it and see what comes up.

4. Don’t use the prompt at all! It’s not mandatory – it’s only if you get stuck. Alternatively, use the prompt every day for 10 days. It’s up to you!

Your next prompt will be posted on January 20th, to cover the dates from the 21st to the 30th.

I hope to be able to read more of your upcoming JusJoJan posts, but it seems Alex might still not be attending school next week at the rate he’s going, so it may be hit and miss. So I’m counting on you. Please make sure you check back to the prompt page and see who has posted – it’s a great way to build your blogging community and reciprocate. And don’t forget the most important part – have fun!!

This post is part of JusJoJan: https://lindaghill.com/2015/01/01/just-jot-it-january-pingback-post-and-rules/ Anyone can join in!


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SoCS – Poles and Double Negatives

Maybe I was dreaming of my prompt this morning but when I dreamed this morning it was of the poles changing direction. I dreamed of the end of the world. The water in my house didn’t work, the sewers were running backwards as was a natural spring in my house that reversed and became muddy and the electricity went out. Several times I think I woke a little (because Alex was coughing) but I drifted back each time into the dream, knowing I was dreaming but unable to stop it. I don’t remember if I was awake to imagine the end of the world but I stood with my children and told them I loved them as the world imploded…

And so then I was thinking I should tell Alex’s dad that he’s still sick but I may send him to school on Monday regardless since he doesn’t seem contagious, which led me to think of the word “irregardless” which shouldn’t be a word. Should it? Spell check likes it. But it makes no sense. To “irregard,” one would think, would be a negative meaning “not to regard” and so putting a “less” on the end turns “irregardless” into a double negative meaning to regard. So sending Alex to school regarding his cough would be senseless… (Yes, Doobster, I looked up the Webster’s definition of “irregardless” but the looking up of it was ruining the flow of my writing which is why I didn’t copy and paste it.)

And so this is an account, really, of my morning so far. Not really stream of consciousness thought (though it was at the time) but I have written this unedited and as it came back to me, which is kind of a double negative in and of itself.

The good news is, if you have made it to the end of this post, at least the world hasn’t ended yet. Hooray!

This post is part of SoCS. Join in today! https://lindaghill.com/2015/01/09/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-january-1015/

Badge by: Doobster at Mindful Digressions

Badge by: Doobster at Mindful Digressions


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JusJoJan 4 – Glass half full/half empty: Sometimes it’s just about the glass

Ah, how infinite is our wisdom when we’re tired? That really is the question. It’s the reason I left the suitcase laying in the middle of the living room floor and it’s why there was no glass.

Last night after I finished writing my post, I started to get myself ready for bed so that when my son went to bed I could go as well. I considered having a glass of wine, but decided against it for two reasons – one, there was too much left in the bottle for the three or four ounces I usually take upstairs with me but not enough to leave the rest in the bottle, and two, because I was really too tired to stay up and drink it anyway. Likewise with my decision to take neither my laptop nor my tablet to bed with me: I really just needed sleep.

Chris came out to say goodnight to me and went off to bed, so I turned off the light, and the laptop and promptly, in my rush to get to bed, forgot that there was a suitcase laying in the middle of the floor. I tripped, I stumbled, I spent what felt like a full 20 seconds trying to save myself until I realized I was going down. And I did. On my knees and elbows. The pain was so intense, especially from my already sore shoulder joint which I’m almost sure I knocked right out of its socket since I have barely any muscle left to protect it, that I lay there for a few minutes hoping not to throw up. Finally Chris came back downstairs and called to my eldest son who was in the basement and he helped me get back up.

Had I had the glass, the laptop, or the tablet in my hands – I don’t even want to imagine the mess. Had I not tried to save myself I might have hit my head on the bannister. As it was I landed six inches away.

So, is the glass half full or half empty? Thankfully there was no glass. Next time there will be no suitcase.

This post is part of Just Jot It January. Click on the link and join in – it’s never too late to start! https://lindaghill.com/2015/01/01/just-jot-it-january-pingback-post-and-rules/

JJJ 2015

 

 


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It’s a SoCS/JusJoJan 3 Twofer

Twofer the price of one, that is. I think I got about two hours of sleep last night with Alex’s coughing, and I’ve had no more than two minutes to myself at any given moment all day. Looking after a sick kid is very demanding on the attention. He’s sleeping peacefully at the moment and so far my two minutes have extended all the way to about twenty.

Still, all day I’ve been thinking about what I could write for SoCS today, given my own prompt, but nothing really stuck out as a good word that started with ‘t.’ Concentration has been a rare thing though, although I have managed to get a lot of blogs read during my minutes between being asked to do this or that, or pay attention, or simply rub his back – not easy to type whilst rubbing someone’s back. So I’ve been here but I haven’t.

I’m seriously ready to drop off to sleep any minute now. Just waiting for the other teenager to go to bed. *sigh*

I have quite a few blog posts lined up in my head for the coming weeks. I still have dozens of pictures to share, and I kept a journal while I was gone as well, though I have to re-read it to see if it’s exciting enough to copy out – perhaps I can spruce it up a little without straying from the facts.

Lots to do, but much of it depends on the kids going back to school next week. It’s supposed to rain all day tomorrow and then on Monday the temperature is supposed to drop to -10C. I hope the rain dries up in the meantime, otherwise we’re going to have a repeat of last year. No fun at all. I shall certainly try not to fall and almost kill myself this year on my paper route.

I’m tired just thinking about it. …who am I trying to kid? I’m just tired. And that would be my whine for the evening.

Oooh, wine! *runs to the kitchen*

This post is part of Just Jot It January: https://lindaghill.com/2015/01/01/just-jot-it-january-pingback-post-and-rules/

JJJ 2015

And Stream of Consciousness Saturday: https://lindaghill.com/2015/01/02/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-january-315/

Badge by: Doobster at Mindful Digressions

Badge by: Doobster at Mindful Digressions

Join in to both now!