Life in progress

Tag Archives: Humor


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#SoCS – I Can’t Bare It

I know, I know. The right phrase is “I can’t bear it.” But it can be amusing at times what comes out of the mistaken spelling. “Bare with me,” is another. Quite inappropriate. But I try not to laugh. I’m not one to criticize people’s grammar, and it actually annoys me when people feel the need to correct every single mistake, especially when there are so many in a sentence that it’s obvious the person is, at the very least, trying their best to say something when they’re not used to writing. Or English is their second language. I’d be delighted not to have to look up the correct spelling every time I try to write in French or Japanese.

Because I just got off the phone with my dear friend James Justin from Microsoft (he’s been calling me all week, but I asked him specifically to call me this Monday coming. I think he’s starting to get annoyed that his little scam keeps getting put off). He told me today that we were going to see what’s behind my licensing issue this time. Before it was why my computer keeps freezing. I wonder what it’ll be by Monday. Anyhoo, I’m now trying to figure out if there’s any way I can get the police involved, since he’s supposed to call at 10am Monday precisely. Most times he’s called it has come up on my phone as a “Private Number,” but Tuesday, I think it was, he didn’t hide the ID. The number was 516-795-2411. I think James Justin might get fired over that oversight. Anyway, I’m going to look into it. Apparently, according to the Google search I did, the number is from New York.

It’s the time of year when I’m starting to think about whether or not to host Just Jot it January again. I had so much fun with it last year, especially with the prompts I had from all of you. I’m not sure if I’ll have enough time to keep up with it this year though. I’ve thought about getting co-hosts this year. Anyone interested? I think I know how it could work, but I’d have to nail down the details.

I’ve barely followed the prompt this week…

OH! I did want to mention the anthology I’m in is coming out this week. December 15th. I think it’s going to be a great book. I’m part of the publisher’s group on Facebook, and it seems to me I’m one of the least educated and least published of all the authors. There are university professors, lawyers, teachers… and little old me. Don’t forget to look for the After the Happily Ever After anthology!

And hey, if you’re interested in my fiction, buy my book too! 😀 Thanks!

All Good Stories

This post is brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click the following link and join in today!

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS Dec. 10/16


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#SoCS – ‘Tis the season

Shopping. I hate it. So it’s no wonder this is my least favourite time of year. And it’s prolonged by the fact that my kids were born in September, October and November, my best friend in January and my mother in February.

Don’t get me wrong – I love the giving part. I just can’t stand having to decide what everyone else might want. And then there’s that other dreaded question – what would I like for Christmas or my birthday? (Which is in January, the day before my best friend’s.) Um… let’s see… a car? A new house? Just pay off my bills? Oh, okay. Socks will do. (No, seriously. I always need socks. Maybe I subconsciously named this whole prompt “SoCS” in order to give people hints on what to buy me for Christmas.)

I always leave my Christmas shopping to the last minute. My excuse is I don’t want to buy something and then the recipient gets it in the interim, and then I’ll have to take it back. AND come up with another idea. So I wait until everything I can think of has been bought by everyone who got their shopping done early and then I wander around aimlessly until, finally, I buy everyone a mug. Or socks. (Maybe in hopes that I’ll get them back? I don’t know…) The dog is NOT going to like his present this year if I can’t find anything better than socks. But I will take pictures before he eats them if that’s what he ends up with.

Alex wants to put the tree up this weekend. There’s another thing I dread. Untangling the lights and finding out which ones work, because I never manage to throw out the ones that don’t the year before. Hanging up all the old (some broken) ornaments from when the kids were small. Seriously, I’d like to throw a lot of them out and just keep the good ones. But the kids like them, so we end up with a tree that looks like the floor of a toddler’s room after they’ve trashed it. If the kids ever move out, I’ll buy all new decorations. Or decorate my tree with socks.

Ha! Who am I kidding. I’ll keep the lot of them and sob over them… even the broken ones.

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This socky post was brought to you by SoCS, or Stream of Consciousness Saturday if you like. You can join in the fun, or just read more posts when you click here: https://lindaghill.com/2016/12/02/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-dec-316/


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New Random Update

Redundancies. I’m studying them in my new-but-almost-finished Stylistic Editing course. I’ve decided to make the decision to get them all out of my system in this post I’m writing right now.

Edit: I’ve decided to edit all the redundancies from the remainder of this post because it’s been bothering me since I published it yesterday.

Sadly, James Justin, the scam artist nice man from Windows didn’t call me back. I had some great suggestions on what to say/do to him; you can read the hilarity in the comments here: https://lindaghill.com/2016/11/26/okay-i-need-your-help/ if you haven’t already. Since I told him my power was off when he called the first time, I was going to inform him that I never turn my computer off so I had no idea how to turn it on. This scenario is getting funnier by the day, since if he does call now, I can say, “THANK GOD YOU CALLED! I HAVEN’T HAD A COMPUTER SINCE SATURDAY!!” Of course it will take 15 minutes to boot, during which time I’ll have lots of opportunity to take advantage of the awesome suggestions on the other post. Then, after I go through all the steps he meticulously explains in order for him to hack my computer and steal all my money, I’ll ask, “What’s an ‘internet’?” Brilliant, no?

My One-Liner Wednesday today had more to do with real life than I wish it had. I was passing out last night when I should have been scheduling the post, then I woke up at 7:10 this morning – an hour and a half late – so I had to drive the kid to school before I could get around to the prompt. Needless to say, it’s been a rough one. However, this is a good opportunity to let you know that if I’m ever AWOL, you check my Twitter feed in the right-hand column, just over there —> somewhere. If possible, I’ll leave a note to let you know what’s happened to me.

I’m almost finished the final edit of my first book in the series, The Great Dagmaru. The actual title for Book 1 is yet to be determined. Book 2 is written and I’m three-quarters of the way through writing Book 3. Unfortunately my plan to get it published this year will not be met. I’m hoping to do so in February.

Between the craziness of the above and spending the day at the hospital in Kingston for a consultation, I’ve been shamefully negligent in responding to comments.  I hope to get back to you all soon!

 


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One-Liner Wednesday – Words to live by

When you’re having a bad day, remember not to take it out on the first bitch who gets in your way: she might be having a bad day, too.

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If you would like to participate, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do,
you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our very cool badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

#1linerWeds badge by nearlywes.com

#1linerWeds badge by nearlywes.com


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Okay, I need your help

This has the potential to be fun. I just had a nice man call me from Microsoft. He introduced himself as “James,” a lovely East Indian name to be sure, to let me know my computer is sometimes “not responsive” because of a serious problem with Windows. James can fix it for me, but I have to be in front of my computer.

I explained to him that, unfortunately, I don’t have any electricity right now (a blatant lie) but he said that’s no problem, he can call me back later and we can fix this thing! He confirmed his name, “Justin,” and said he’d call tonight.

SO! How can I have the most fun with “James Justin” tonight? Suggestions, please!!


by 44 Comments

One-Liner Wednesday – …but wait!

There's still hope!!

There’s still hope!!

Someone really didn’t think this through.

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Anyone who would like to participate, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do,
you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our very cool badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

#1linerWeds badge by nearlywes.com

#1linerWeds badge by nearlywes.com


by 48 Comments

#SoCS – Happiness

Yes, I lack the perfect house. My clothes are all years and years old, my furniture doesn’t match, and there’s a funny smell in one of my cupboards. But we’re all happy. Me, the kids, the dog, the cats, the fly flying around, laughing at me when I try to kill it… all of us. We have a warm place to live (now that the furnace is fixed–it was touch-and-go a few days ago), we have food in the fridge (and apparently rotting in one of the cupboards), and we have electricity with which to watch TV and connect on the internet (Hi!!).

And we have stuff to look forward to, too. Tomorrow is the Santa Claus parade here in town, and Alex is very much looking forward to participating in it, on his school’s float. But there’s a catch, of course. The float is themed on the Grinch and he’s terrified of the Grinch. We may be in the parade, or we may be running, screaming from the parade. Something for me to look forward to since it’s supposed to rain. Then there will be the joy of Christmas shopping to look forward to. For the first time in three years I’ll be doing my shopping in Canada. At home. This time last year I was on a plane to Tokyo. So hard to believe. But I have proof:

Mt. Fuji, just below the engine.

Mt. Fuji, just below the engine.

This year I just didn’t have the money. In fact, I’m probably still paying for that trip. Maybe I’ll post about it, finally, for the next ten days, which was how long I was there. Yeah. Happily, I took notes.

But now life is so much more simple. With my old clothes, my mismatched furniture and my funny smell, my dog who’s not a puppy anymore and three kids who are old enough to drive, I’ve proven that I don’t need much. Only love.

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This post is part of Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click the link to find more posts in the comments, and to join in! https://lindaghill.com/2016/11/18/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-nov-1916/

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by 40 Comments

One-Liner Wednesday – Words and Grace

Walking along the trail a few days ago, I passed a woman who said to me, “It’s hard being graceful, isn’t it?”
I smiled, feeling an oaf. Had I the quick wit to do so immediately, I would have replied, “Some of us are graceful on the outside; some express grace through our words.”

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_____________________________________________________________________________

Anyone who would like to participate, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do,
you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our very cool badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

#1linerWeds badge by nearlywes.com

#1linerWeds badge by nearlywes.com


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3 Things I Learned from Self-Publishing – A Guest Post by Linda G. Hill

I guest-posted over at Harsh Reality. Please come over and have a read! 😀 Thanks!


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One-Liner Wednesday – Umm… Run?

New blood donors needed! Fish and Game Club

New blood donors needed!
Fish and Game Club

I’m game! …wait, what happened to the old donors?!?

Note: I drove past this sign, turned around, parked as close as I could, and walked to it to take the picture. Some opportunities you just can’t pass up.

_____________________________________________________________________________

Anyone who would like to participate, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do,
you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our very cool badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!