Life in progress

Tag Archives: humour


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#SoCS – That Arrangement

The actual line, to put my post into context, is, “I wonder what Nina will think of that arrangement,” out of my own book, The Magician’s Blood. It was the closest book to me when I decided to write my SoCS post.

The line made me think about all the things we don’t have control of. Things that circumstances, or maybe even the universe, arranges for us. It’s scary to feel like we’re not in control of our lives, of our situation.

I find the control I have over the little things in life helps quell that fear. Even if it’s only an illusion, knowing that I can decide what to do with my time at least some of the time makes me feel like I’m in charge. What I do with that time isn’t always good or productive …

Is procrastination a lack of control? I suppose it is. It’s certainly a lack of discipline.

I need to take control of my procrastination.

Make it disappear.

Go away, procrastination! I’m sick of having no control over you!

There. We’ll see if that works.

(Note to self: read this post every day.)

SoCS badge by Pamela, at https://achronicalofhope.com/

This self-chastising post is brought to you (and me) by Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click the link and join in. Do it now! https://lindaghill.com/2019/06/07/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-june-8-19/


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#SoCS – Cozy Mosey

I’m just gonna mosey on over to my laptop like I didn’t promise last week to hit it early, and write an ol’ blog post. You know, I could just change the prompt to Stream of Consciousness Sunday. Would anyone notice?

Nah.

I went to great lengths to get some writing done today. I sat in the back seat of my car with my computer–no Internet access–all cozy-like while a thunderstorm raged outside, and I still managed to procrastinate a bit as I tried to type. I managed a little under 800 words, bringing my third book of my series up to 72,600 words so far. I figure I’ve got about 18K left to go to get to the end of the story.

I’ve been procrastinating a lot this week. I meant to post the mid-month reminder for the Escapist Coloring Club but I didn’t get around to it. May is also the month I should have posted the contest for the new One-Liner Wednesday badge. I’m seriously, honestly going to miss our monkey friend. But I suppose it’s only fair to give the picture back to Cheryl and let someone else have a chance. I won’t complain AT ALL if she decides to enter the same badge back into the contest, though. (hint, hint)

I shall do that this week. As for the Coloring Club thing, may as well wait for June 1st, eh?

I don’t mind putting it off. In fact that’s what I’m best at these days.

But only when it’s my own stuff I’m working at.

I need to start treating myself as if I was my own client. Then I’d get everything done. On time.

SoCS badge by Pamela, at https://achronicalofhope.com/

This post is brought to you by Stream of Consciousness SATURDAY. If you’d like to join in, just click the following link. You’ll find all the other posts in the comment section! https://lindaghill.wordpress.com/2019/05/24/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-may-25-19/


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#SoCS – A new word

Procrastinatingly. That’s how I’ve been doing everything today. What’s that? It’s tomorrow already? Case in point.

I really need to start writing for my own prompts on the day they’re supposed to be written. I promise to make a concerted effort next week. There. Now I’ve said it, I have to do it.

When I haven’t been actually doing something I was supposed to be doing today yesterday, I’ve been contemplating existentialism in narration. And wondering if all narration in stories isn’t just that–a character self-realizing existence. Am I explaining myself very well? Probably not.

And no, I’m not stoned, but I kinda feel like the “Dude”s in my Second Seat series.

Dude, do you think that character knows he’s in a book?

Woah! Dude!

Yeah, kinda like that.

So, um, that’s a glimpse into my brain. Now aren’t you sorry you asked? Wait, you didn’t ask?

Oops.

SoCS badge by Pamela, at https://achronicalofhope.com/

This crisis post is brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday, the later version. Click the following link to find all the earlier-version posts in the comments and join in! It’s fun! https://lindaghill.com/2019/05/17/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-may-18-19/


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One-Liner Wednesday – Can I borrow that?

When I see other authors thanking their significant others for helping out with the housework and looking after the kids, it crosses my mind to ask if I can borrow their partners so I can finish my book.

Then I realize that’s not a good way to make friends.

 

If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our lovely badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!


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#SoCS – Strainer Inherited

Oh hi!

It’s me again.

I’m starting to feel like the chaser. You know, the part that comes after the main bit. The P.S. at the end of the SoCS day.

Dessert.

Speaking of dessert, I’ve been stealing the two-bite brownies I bought for Mother’s Day. They have pink, blue, and white butter icing and sprinkles on top. They call them Unicorn two-bite brownies and they’re delicious. They go well with red wine …

Can I make a confession? Promise you won’t tell anyone?

I eat my two-bite brownies in three bites.

I’m such a rebel.

Oooh, I just had a sip of wine. The fumes went up into my sinuses. Does that mean it’s good?

Anyway, where was I?

My pasta strainer. The one I inherited. It has to be at least 45 years old–my mother had it forever. I bought one myself when I moved in by myself years ago, but I never really liked the new one. The holes were both too small and they weren’t close enough to the edges of the base of the bowl, so I’d end up with wet noodles every time I tried to drain them.

So when my mother moved in to the retirement home, instead of getting rid of the strainer with everything else, I kept it. It used to have three little legs on it, but they all fell off. But I still love it. It’s my Charlie Brown Christmas tree of strainers. It’s sad, but it has a lot of heart. And it works, which is probably the most important thing.

Know what else is important? Breakfast in bed tomorrow morning. That’s what I’ve been promised.

Gonna be interesting.

Maybe I’d better leave some of those brownies …

SoCS badge by Pamela, at https://achronicalofhope.com/

This yummy, dessert-y post is brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click the following link to find all the other posts in the comment section and join in. Become the dessert-dessert! It’s fun! https://lindaghill.com/2019/05/10/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-may-11-19/


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#SoCS – Rain

If it rained cats and dogs, would they fight on the way down?

If it rained men, how long would the line-ups be in emergency waiting rooms for people needing casts?

Would we run out of plaster?

I’ve always loved the sound of rain (real rain, not living, breathing rain). I felt safe sleeping in my attic room until the winds started increasing and tornadoes became more frequent in my area. Now I have a huge tree that worries me. If it fell the wrong way … Let’s just say I’m considering asking the city to take it down. Even though its shade keeps my house cool in the summer, I’m not sure it’s worth the risk.

But the gentle rain, when it hits the roof over my head is soothing. I can hear squirrels when they run across my roof–that’s how close it is.

I’m rambling.

It’s late.

This post is brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click the following link to find all the other participants’ posts in the comment section and see how you, too, can join in. It’s fun! https://lindaghill.com/2019/05/03/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-may-4-19/


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#SoCS – Expletive

I uttered an expletive tonight.

When I poured myself a rare beer

In a beer glass.

It had the perfect head upon it

And my mouth was verily watering

After a day of work, and visiting the hospital

And more work

(And a bit of learning thrown in for good measure.)

And so I lifted my beer glass from the kitchen counter

My beer, cold

The glass not yet forming condensation

And I got my glass about a foot off the counter and toward myself

Readying to carry it back to the living room

To my laptop

To write this post …

And the bottom dropped cleanly off the glass

Not a shard

Not a splinter to be found

A smooth cut straight off the bottom

As though it had been cut by a master craftsman

(One who obviously hates me)

And so not a drop

Was left in my glass

And now the dog is suffering with beer farts

(Or should I say I am suffering with the dog’s beer farts?)

And I am one glass

(and one beer)

Short of a six pack.

I suppose it could have been worse …

The glass could have lasted until it was hovering over my laptop …

I’ll need suggestions for “Y” words for Monday’s less-than-above-board A-Z post. One word per person, please, and keep it clean. Note that the oldest comments are at the bottom.

SoCS badge by Pamela, at https://achronicalofhope.com/

This s***ty post is part of Stream of Consciousness Saturday! Click the following link to find all the awesome posts in the comments, and join in … It’s fun! https://lindaghill.com/2019/04/26/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-april-27-19/


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Über-Unkempt Upheaval

Ah, am I ever über–unkempt. (See the cool accent-y things I put in there? I’m fancy with my words at least.)

Having Alex home from school does that to me. He was extra-demanding today. This is what I get for having a weekend off, apparently.

Can’t decide if it’s a man-cold or if he actually needs the hospital.

I’ll keep an eye on him.

It’s all caused more of an upheaval in my schedule.

My amazing timetable in which I do all the things on time is now untimely.

Timeless.

Stricken.

It’s a stricken schedule.

Strike that.

It’s just mush. Yes, it’s a mushy puddle of timetable.

An icky itinerary.

A gooey guide to my bedraggled bookings.

It’s unkempt! That’s what it is!

Yeah, I’ll get caught up. Coz that’s what I do.

Thank you to the three lovely ladies who gave me today’s words. You can find out who they are by clicking the links under “über,” “unkempt,” and “upheaval.”

I’ll need suggestions for “V” words for tomorrow’s less-than-above-board A-Z post. One word per person, please, and keep it clean. Note that the oldest comments are at the bottom.


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A Twitchy Troika of Truffles

I’m totally twitchy today. Alex was home–he’s really sick. I hope it’s just a cold since he doesn’t have a fever, but he can’t stop coughing. He’s in bed trying to sleep now and he’s still at it. I won’t bother even trying to get him up to catch the school troika … I mean the school bus tomorrow.

So, why am I twitchy? There were SO many awesome things I was going to accomplish this week! I have a deal going on on Kobo … here’s a screen shot:

and here’s the link if you want to pick up my book for free: https://www.kobo.com/ca/en/p/free-ebooks

I was planning to advertise this every which way ’til Sunday. Literally–the deal’s on until Sunday. But I have Alex at home.

Oh, and that appointment I had to get my mother’s staples out of her head this morning? Dragged her all the way to the doctor’s office and found out the retirement home had taken them out a week ago. So we went there for nothing.

Why, oh why can’t anything go smoothly this year?

Because seriously, if they would, I’d stop complaining in your ears. :/

Where are the truffles? I need chocolate!

I also need suggestions for “U” words for tomorrow’s illegal A-Z post. One word per person, please, and keep it clean. Note that the oldest comments are at the bottom.

Thank you to today’s accomplices, whose links you’ll find under the words “twitchy,” “troika,” and “truffles.”


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Sweep it under the rug

I’m writing this off the top of my head tonight because (surprise!) I’m once again very tired. I’ll call this Stream of Consciousness Smonday. Totally a word.

I’ve swept a couple of things under the rug in the past couple of days, one of which was my promise to ask for “S” words. Sorry about that. My intentions were good, but my body was weak. And still is.

The good news? I’m caught up with my work to where I hoped to be by this time today. The bad news? I think I might be coming down with a cold. Alex has one. I hope he’ll go to school tomorrow, but it’s not looking good. And I have to take my mother to an appointment in the morning to get the staples out of her head from where she fell two weeks ago and split it open.

So back to real life it is. No more sweeping stuff under the rug.

In real life, I don’t even have a rug, so there you go. 😛

I need suggestions for “T” words for tomorrow’s illegal A-Z post. There’s actually a method to my madness: if anyone asks, it’s you guys’ fault for encouraging me! HaHa! One word per person, please, and keep it clean. Note that the oldest comments are at the bottom. Thanks!