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Category Archives: advice


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#SoCS and Just Jot It Jan 28 – Distraction

Hello? Can I come out now? Is the world sane in here? I really should know better than to spend the day reading Facebook. It seems the craziness is getting crazier out there, and I feel kinda helpless to do anything, you know? I would…

I was on Anne Rice’s FB page today. She was saying pretty much the same thing I was thinking – too distracted to work. My answer to her in the comments was that it’s we writers (yes, I actually had the balls to put myself in her category) need to write to give people the escape they need. Especially in times like these. Writers give the world not only books, but movies, shows, articles… truth and lies and fantasies through which to travel outside of reality, if for only a little while.

I read somewhere yesterday that we are in a state of low-level stress. In a place where anything could happen at any given moment. We’re on our toes so much more than ever before, for most of us. At least for such a prolonged period.

But here I am bringing the crazy here. I want to forget about it for a while. Get lost in a book that has no fighting. (Guess A Game of Thrones is out.) I need a romance novel, something light, something that will take my mind off it all. I may even be forced into watching TV for a change. Or a movie. Yeah, a movie. Time to put Netflix to good use.

I’m going to hang around and read some blogs first… 🙂 Hope you’ve all had a good day, my friends.

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This post is part of Stream of Consciousness Saturday and…

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Just Jot It January! Click the link to join in and read some awesome posts! https://lindaghill.com/2017/01/27/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-and-jusjojan-jan-2817/


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Just Jot It Jan 27 – Incomplete

The word “incomplete” has been running around in my head all day. Somewhere at the back, where it hasn’t been in the way much. I’ve been trying to figure out what, in my life, is complete. The final conclusion is nothing. But why?

Well, if I really think about it (in the front of my head), if something is complete, I usually set it aside. And sometimes I forget it. This is a good thing, of course, if the complete thing is not a thing I wanted to keep anyway. So what of the things I do wish to hold onto?

I wouldn’t want a relationship to be complete, because what would be the challenge after that? Things that aren’t challenging become boring. Take games, for example. An unchallenging game, like playing Crazy Eights against myself, would quickly turn into a game of 52-card pickup. For me at least. That’s why they invented Solitaire. I’m convinced of it.

And even worse, who would want someone else to complete them? Oh yeah, the end of Jerry Maguire is romantic and all. But just imagine it. Being completed. You wouldn’t need to get up in the morning.

“Honey, breakfast is on the table!”

“Not coming down today, Sweetheart.”

“But, I made pancakes! And coffee!”

“Nope! I’m done. You did me!”

That would be awful! I’m so glad I’m incomplete.

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Many thanks go to Cyn for our prompt today, “incomplete.” You can check out her latest post here: https://cynk.wordpress.com/2017/01/27/fitness-friday-secret-identity/ Go say hi!

And Just Jot It January is still a fun challenge, even if the month is almost complete. Why? ‘Coz you can join in any time! Click here for details and to read all the awesome posts: https://lindaghill.com/2017/01/27/jusjojan-daily-prompt-jan-27th17/


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Just Jot It Jan 20 – Transcendence

Worry. What good does it do us? And yet we all do it. It’s what keeps us up at night, and makes us walk into rooms with no idea what we are there for. Because it causes us stress – the kind that separates our minds from what we should be focusing on.

From Pinterest

From Pinterest

I believe happiness can be found in the lack of seeking it. So I strive to be content with what I have. But I think true contentedness can only be found through the ability to transcend worry. To worry is to imagine the worst for the future. If this is true, then the answer is to live in the present. Not only to fully appreciate what I have right here and now — relatively clean air to breathe, simply that I am alive — but to fully concentrate on what I am doing at any given moment. In that moment, there can be no worry.

I have to strive to stop looking ahead to what might be. And love what is now.

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Thank you to Deborah of Notes Tied on the Sagebrush for our prompt word today, “Transcendent.” Please give her a visit and read her latest post here: https://notestiedonthesagebrush.com/2017/01/19/transcendent/

And don’t forget to check out the JusJoJan prompt here, to read all the other posts and to join in! https://lindaghill.com/2017/01/20/jusjojan-daily-prompt-jan-20th17/


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Writing Through the Uncertainty

I’ve heard plenty of writers say they do their best work when they’re going through loss and hardship. There’s something cathartic, after all, in getting it all out there. Putting pain on paper seems to distance us from it, at least a little. Writing can put things in perspective and let us see our thoughts more clearly.

And then there is 2016. A year of upheaval at levels many of us have never experienced. Yet one might say that most of what has happened isn’t quite personal enough. Things like the deaths of so many beloved celebrities, and a 70-year-old toddler getting closer by the day to running the White House, affect us but they don’t. I realize there are many out there who have experienced the rise of Trump as a personal change in their lives, however I can only speak from the sidelines in Canada on this. Despite the distance, I’m still quivering in fear.

Will the upheaval end with the new year? Probably not. It feels somewhat delusional to believe the number 2017 is mystical enough to somehow make the aging celebrities we all love and cherish immortal.

All this up-in-the-air-ness makes it hard for me to write. I’ve spent the last couple of days trying to figure out why, and all I can come up with is that I have no idea what I’m looking forward to. When I’m grieving, I have an idea. Though depressing, I at least know the person or thing I’m grieving for is gone. Would I trade this uncertainty for the absoluteness of grief? No way. But I still have to find a way to proceed with things as they are.

So, I look back on what made me begin writing in the first place. Just as reading is an escape for so many millions of people, writing is mine. When I’m in a world of my own creation, I’m not here. True, I’m not always certain where my characters are going, but I can live with that. Their adventures, even if disastrous, will not change my life for the worse.

I also feel I must write for all those millions (I should be so lucky to have that many people read me, so let’s say a few of those millions) who need the escape I provide. And lastly, I need to write to know that I’m not alone. And to let others who feel the way I do that they’re not alone.

I need to get back to writing daily. Writing on this blog, that is. I’ve never really stopped; I’m three days away from writing a post for every day of this year on my fiction blog. It’s all that has kept me sane at times.

My new beginning will be Just Jot It January. If I can keep up with that, at least I’ll have the first 31 days of the new year covered. Even if I can’t put my own head-salad into perspective, maybe I can help other people escape theirs for a few minutes a day.

Who’s with me?


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One-Liner Wednesday – Hiding? Or Trapped?

How do you know when you have an elephant hiding in your fridge?

…
…
Footprints in the butter.

Or there might be a note…

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If you would like to participate, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do,
you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our very cool badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!


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The Elephant on the Cover

I can’t stay quiet any longer. There’s an elephant in the Cover Wars room that needs to be addressed.

The wonderful people at Author Shout who host the Cover Wars contest have pitted me against a good friend. Two good friends, in fact. One wrote a book of poetry and the other designed her cover. The first is the lovely Judy E. Martin, of Rhymes of the Times fame, and the second is Chris Graham, aka The Story-Reading Ape.

If I wasn’t competing this week, I would totally be supporting Judy and Chris every step of the way. But alas, this can’t be so. War is war, after all, and one must stick up for oneself.

Having said all that, the main point of Cover Wars, for me anyway, is exposure for my novelette, All Good Stories. I’m sure Judy is thinking the same thing. So while you’re there today voting for my cover ( 😀 ), please also check out Judy’s. Each cover, when clicked, will take you to the book’s Amazon page. Why don’t you click on over and buy Judy’s book?! I haven’t read it yet, but if I know Judy, it’s awesome! Here’s the link to Author Shout, Cover Wars for the vote:  http://authorshout.com/cover-wars/ You can cast your vote once every 24 hours.

This is my beautiful cover, (drawn with love by the ever-talented Belinda Borradaile) for you to vote on:
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And here’s Judy’s! You can click on it here to go directly to its Amazon page, too.

RotT eBook Cover JPG

Thanks so much!


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One-Liner Wednesday – Words to live by

When you’re having a bad day, remember not to take it out on the first bitch who gets in your way: she might be having a bad day, too.

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_____________________________________________________________________________

If you would like to participate, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do,
you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our very cool badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

#1linerWeds badge by nearlywes.com

#1linerWeds badge by nearlywes.com


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How to Live When You Want to Save the World

I’m at a loss. The constant flood of news stories coming in through my Facebook feed about discrimination, hate, fear, war and people fleeing from it, protests that go nowhere, threats to freedom and civil liberties–the list goes on and on–are keeping me from living my own life. It distracts me from all the things I should be doing for myself and my family. I’m not functioning because I’m worried, both about my own future, my kids’ future, and that of the ones I can’t help.

Yes, I can hear it already. Poor me, sitting on my privileged white heterosexual ass in a nice warm house, wringing my hands but doing nothing. It’s true. I don’t feel as though I do enough, yet what can I do when I’m shut in my house up here in Canada? I want to help. I want that more than anything. It’s why I’m so obsessed with what’s going on. So far I’ve shared, I’ve given my opinions and I’ve tried to make sense of what’s going on. I’ve tried to help others put it in perspective. To encourage them to do what they can. I write because my words are the best weapon I have. I give consolation when I’m able, but to what effect? It all inevitably falls flat because I am not living it.

On the contrary, I’m not looking to be absolved for having a good life and I don’t want anyone to tell me it’s okay, that I can just go on with my life and not think about what’s going on in the world. I know I need to look after myself. I’m just not sure how to go about it.

I don’t think I’m alone in this. I’m sure there are others out there who live with this worry, and this survivor’s guilt and sense of helplessness. How do you cope when there’s nothing you can physically do? How do you separate yourself from it all, to do what you must to live your own life? We don’t help anyone, least of all ourselves, when all we do is sit at home and read the reports and wring our hands.

I fear this is the way it will be for the rest of my life. I can’t save the world, and I certainly can’t shut it off and ignore it. Perhaps I need to take a break from it though. At least long enough to care for my own family.

But I’ll never stop asking why peace is too much to ask for.


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Anxiety in Children

I thought it would be better by now, but it’s just getting worse. My son, Alex, as most of you know, is Deaf, and he hates masks. Anyone dressed in a costume is an extreme cause of stress for him, from the Easter Bunny, to Santa, to his school mascot. I believe it’s mostly because he can’t see their facial expressions, and thus can’t determine whether or not they are friendly or threatening. Whatever it is, Hallowe’en is the worst time of year.

This morning, getting him to go to school to spend the day with his friends was difficult, to say the least. He doesn’t seem to understand that the people he knows are inside the costumes. He’s sixteen years old physically, but at a mental age of six or seven. It’s not likely to get any better from here.

My concern is that I’m perpetuating the problem. Today I drove him to school so I could be there to reassure him everything was okay. He was nervous (he’s been having anxiety attacks every night before bed for the past week) even though he was able to explain to me himself that masks and scary costumes were not permitted at school. So okay, he needs support. I think there’s a fine line between coddling him and reassuring him when his fears are legitimate. But should I be the one supporting him at this point in his life?

I’m not going to be around forever. As he becomes an adult, there will be a time when he can no longer run to Mommy when there’s a problem. I believe he needs to start, at some point, (soon?) to rely on society to feel safe.

I’m at a loss. Any suggestions are welcome.


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Angriest, a #SoCS Rant (with swear words and everything)

There are a few things that annoy me about people, but what gets me angriest is when people get annoyed at my kids. This rant is brought on by a trip to the grocery store earlier today and a woman behind us in line. There isn’t much room once you’ve paid for your groceries and you’re packing your own bags. Alex, my Deaf son, was helping me – I was standing at the end of the belt and he was moving things closer to me while standing in the lane where we came out after paying. There was a woman there with a cart who had just paid for her groceries. All she had was a cart full of cases of pop (soda, for those of you in the U.S.). When I turned, after she had raised her voice (I didn’t know she was there) she was saying to Alex that she just needed to get out, that she didn’t have to pack anything, she would just very much appreciate it if we’d excuse her.

Normally an “excuse me” doesn’t require that much explanation, so it occurred to me that she’d probably been saying it to Alex for a while. He had his back turned to her, so he didn’t know she was there. As she walked away, she looked at me and said, “Thank you very much for moving out of the way.” Waaay over the top, even for a Canadian. So I said, “Sorry he didn’t move right away, he’s Deaf.” Or I tried to say that, but she cut me off: “No, no, no, no, I really appreciate it!”

Fuck you, sarcastic bitch.

I want to say I wish people wouldn’t judge, but I realize I’m judging her. Maybe she’d been having a really hard day? But does she need to take it out on us?

I always say that you can make someone’s day with a smile, no matter who they are. Even if they’re a stranger. You can also ruin someone’s day by being sarcastic and jumping to conclusions. Or rather jumping to conclusions and then being sarcastic.  Or maybe I’m just overreacting because I want to protect my son.

One way or another, be nice out there. And be patient.

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This post is brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Check out the rules and join in here: https://lindaghill.com/2016/09/16/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-sept-1716/