Life in progress

Category Archives: fiction


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301. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Thursday, June 28th, 3:00pm
Tiffany and Vera

 

Tiffany: My God, I’m like, so glad school’s over, you know?

Vera: I know! Did you hear about Professor Plum? He was all over Scarlet.

Tiffany: No way!

Vera: (nods exaggeratedly and pops gum) Uh huh. I heard they were in the cafeteria? And she was, like, tied to one of the tables with a rope and he was covering her in mustard.

Tiffany: Ew!! Isn’t he, like, married to Mrs. Peacock?

Vera: Pfft. Yeah, but he’s been screwing around with Mrs. White for years. And you know what else I heard?

Tiffany: What?

Vera: Lissy told me Casper caught him in kitchen … with Mr. Green!

Tiffany: No way! He’s also gay? I had no clue!

 

Next stop: Friday, June 29th, 7:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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300. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Wednesday, June 27th, 7:00pm
Rupert (and the rest of the passengers on the bus)

 

Rupert sits alone by the window. He stands and addresses the other passengers.

Rupert: And in closing, I’d like to thank my director, my producer, my mother, and all you little people who volunteered your time to further my cause. I can promise you all that the end of the world by means of worm infestation is no longer an issue, and you may all go on with your lives knowing that I, Rupert, have done my utmost to ensure your continued safety against zombies and aliens alike. A light dinner will be served in the cargo hold of this bus at 7:30pm. Thank you again, and good night.

The rest of the passengers on the bus applaud politely.

 

Next stop: Thursday, June 28th, 3:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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299. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Tuesday, June 26th, 5:00pm
Meredith (and Vijay)

 

Meredith sits at the window. Vijay takes the seat beside her.

Meredith: Do I look fat in this?

Vijay: I beg your pardon?

Meredith: Fat. Do I look fat in this dress?

Vijay: I am sorry, I cannot comment on your dress or your body. My wife would not like it.

Meredith: (looks around) Is your wife here?

Vijay: No, she is not.

Meredith: I won’t tell her if you don’t. Now. Do I look fat in this?

Vijay: I still cannot comment.

Meredith: Why not?

Vijay: Because I am afraid I will say the wrong thing and then you will be angry at me.

Meredith: You think I look fat, don’t you.

Vijay: I did not say that.

Meredith: You do! How dare you!

Vijay: In my defense madam, I did not say anything.

Meredith: You didn’t have to! I should have known better than to ask a man.

Vijay: This is very true.

 

Next stop: Wednesday, June 27th, 7:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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298. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Monday, June 25th, 4:00pm
Marty (and Zerg, the Undefeatable)

 

Marty sits at the window. Zerg, the Undefeatable takes the seat beside him.

Marty: Watch out.

Zerg, the Undefeatable: Sorry. This costume is a bit big.

Marty: A bit big? Man, couldn’t you have gotten changed when you got where ever it is you’re going?

Zerg, the Undefeatable: Not really. It took three hours to get into this thing.

Marty: Who are you supposed to be, anyways?

Zerg, the Undefeatable: I’m Zerg. The Undefeatable.

Marty kicks him in the shins.

Zerg, the Undefeatable: Ouch! What was that for?

Marty: Just checking.

 

Next stop: Tuesday, June 26th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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297. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language.

Sunday, June 24th, 11:00am
Sean (and Drommen)

 

Sean sits at the window. Drommen takes the seat beside him.

Drommen: Where’s Jessica?

Sean: I don’t know who you’re talking about.

Drommen: Okay Hillary. Whatever you call her, where is she?

Sean: I don’t know.

Drommen: (grabs Sean by the collar) Look, asshole, if you fuck her up I’m …

Sean: (smiles) Gonna what, show me your dick? You should be in jail.

Drommen: (releases him) You’re one to talk. What have you been giving her?

Sean: Drugs. Whatever. She’s better off with me than she is with you. You just make her miserable. At least I show her a good time.

Drommen: She was so messed up yesterday, she couldn’t see straight. Stay out of her life. Because if I find out you’ve hurt her or allowed her to hurt herself, you’re going to wind up hurt.

Sean: It’s you she’s killing herself for, man.

Drommen: She needs help. If you care about her at all you’ll get her some.

Sean: What, like you helped her?

Drommen: (grabs him again and thinks about it for a moment, then lets go) You’re not worth it.

Drommen changes seats.

 

Next stop: Monday, June 25, 4:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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296. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language.

Saturday, June 23rd, 7:00pm
Hillary (and Drommen)

 

Hillary sits at the window. Drommen takes the seat beside her.

Hillary: (slurring drunkenly) Fuck do you want?

Drommen: Have you been with that Sean guy?

Hillary: What’s it to you? What do you care?

Drommen: I do. You’re not taking care of yourself. And Sean certainly isn’t taking care of you.

Hillary: He’s takin’ better care of me than you have. Dick.

Drommen: I’m taking you home.

Hillary: I’m not going home. Don’t you have a date to go to or somethin’?

Drommen: I do. But you’re more important.

Hillary: Fuck off.

Drommen stares at her for a moment.

Hillary: Sean’ll look after me. An’ if you try to take me home, I’ll scream.

Drommen: Have it your way.

Drommen changes seats.

 

Next stop: Sunday, June 24th, 11:00am

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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295. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Friday, June 22nd, 5:00pm
Juliette (and Drommen)

 

Juliette sits at the window. Drommen takes the seat beside her.

Juliette: Please be gentle.

Drommen: I beg your pardon, Madame?

Juliette: Well, you see, this is my first time on a bus, and you are the first man to sit beside me.

Drommen: Ah. Common bus etiquette demands that I at least introduce myself. I’m Jake.

Juliette: (smiles and extends gloved hand) I’m Juliette. It’s very nice to meet you, Jake.

Drommen: (takes her hand and kisses the back of it) My pleasure entirely.

Juliette: I’ve heard so many horror stories about taking the bus. I’m happy to find they’ve proven unfounded.

Drommen: I’m sure whatever you’ve heard is total nonsense. I try to come on the bus as often as I can, and there are few worse than myself.

Juliette: Well then. If you are just about as bad as it gets, I shall cease to worry.

Drommen: Quite right. I was going to ask you … would you mind if I …

Juliette: Yes?

Drommen: … change seats with you? I have a long way to go.

Juliette: Not at all.

 

Next stop: Saturday, June 23rd, 7:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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294. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Thursday, June 21st, 7:00pm
Kyra (and Sean)

 

Kyra sits at the window. Sean takes the seat beside her.

Kyra: Oh God, not you again.

Sean: Yep. Me again.

Kyra: Well at least I won’t have to worry about seeing you for a while. I’m flying down to see my gramma in Florida.

Sean: Hope you’re in good shape.

Kyra: What for?

Sean: Ever been on a plane before?

Kyra: Nope. First time.

Sean: ‘Coz you’ve gotta flap your arms or the plane won’t take off.

Kyra: Bullshit.

Sean: Seriously. If everyone doesn’t flap their arms, the plane won’t leave the ground. All part of cost cutting and energy environmental crap. It was on the news.

Kyra stares at him.

Sean: Ask anyone.

Kyra turns away, squeezing her arm muscles discretely as she looks out the window.

 

Next stop: Friday, June 22nd, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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293. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Wednesday, June 20th, 5:00pm
Melina (and Zoey)

 

Melina sits at the window. Zoey takes the seat beside her.

Melina: Wait, what year is it?

Zoey: Errr … 2018 …?

Melina: You’re not sure either, eh?

 

Next stop: Thursday, June 21st, 7:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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292. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Tuesday, June 19th, 5:00pm
Sherman (and Phil)

 

Sherman sits at the window. Phil takes the seat beside him.

Sherman: Back on the bus, are you?

Phil: (frowns) Yes.

Sherman: Have a change of heart about that new car of yours?

Phil: Actually, I took what you said to heart and traded my car in for an electric one.

Sherman: It’s not the bus, but it’s a step in the right direction towards being environmentally friendly.

Phil: Pfft. Yeah. Except I forgot to plug it in.

 

Next stop: Wednesday, June 20th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.