Life in progress

Category Archives: Funny


by 25 Comments

One-Liner Wednesday – Big Brother

Winston and Alex

Winston and Alex (click to enlarge)

“Have you seen what the little human is watching on this laptop thing?” Winston, reporting back on his big brother’s viewing habits.

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If you would like to participate, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do,
you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our very cool badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

#1linerWeds badge by nearlywes.com

#1linerWeds badge by nearlywes.com

P.S. Don’t forget to vote for my cover on Author Shout Cover Wars today! http://authorshout.com/cover-wars/

img_1918


by 23 Comments

One-Liner Wednesday – The Answer is Right In Front of You

happens

The minute it happens, you will know.

The answer to your question is in the statement.

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If you would like to participate, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do,
you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our very cool badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

#1linerWeds badge by nearlywes.com

#1linerWeds badge by nearlywes.com


by 50 Comments

#SoCS – ‘Tis the season

Shopping. I hate it. So it’s no wonder this is my least favourite time of year. And it’s prolonged by the fact that my kids were born in September, October and November, my best friend in January and my mother in February.

Don’t get me wrong – I love the giving part. I just can’t stand having to decide what everyone else might want. And then there’s that other dreaded question – what would I like for Christmas or my birthday? (Which is in January, the day before my best friend’s.) Um… let’s see… a car? A new house? Just pay off my bills? Oh, okay. Socks will do. (No, seriously. I always need socks. Maybe I subconsciously named this whole prompt “SoCS” in order to give people hints on what to buy me for Christmas.)

I always leave my Christmas shopping to the last minute. My excuse is I don’t want to buy something and then the recipient gets it in the interim, and then I’ll have to take it back. AND come up with another idea. So I wait until everything I can think of has been bought by everyone who got their shopping done early and then I wander around aimlessly until, finally, I buy everyone a mug. Or socks. (Maybe in hopes that I’ll get them back? I don’t know…) The dog is NOT going to like his present this year if I can’t find anything better than socks. But I will take pictures before he eats them if that’s what he ends up with.

Alex wants to put the tree up this weekend. There’s another thing I dread. Untangling the lights and finding out which ones work, because I never manage to throw out the ones that don’t the year before. Hanging up all the old (some broken) ornaments from when the kids were small. Seriously, I’d like to throw a lot of them out and just keep the good ones. But the kids like them, so we end up with a tree that looks like the floor of a toddler’s room after they’ve trashed it. If the kids ever move out, I’ll buy all new decorations. Or decorate my tree with socks.

Ha! Who am I kidding. I’ll keep the lot of them and sob over them… even the broken ones.

socsbadge2016-17

This socky post was brought to you by SoCS, or Stream of Consciousness Saturday if you like. You can join in the fun, or just read more posts when you click here: https://lindaghill.com/2016/12/02/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-dec-316/


by 12 Comments

New Random Update

Redundancies. I’m studying them in my new-but-almost-finished Stylistic Editing course. I’ve decided to make the decision to get them all out of my system in this post I’m writing right now.

Edit: I’ve decided to edit all the redundancies from the remainder of this post because it’s been bothering me since I published it yesterday.

Sadly, James Justin, the scam artist nice man from Windows didn’t call me back. I had some great suggestions on what to say/do to him; you can read the hilarity in the comments here: https://lindaghill.com/2016/11/26/okay-i-need-your-help/ if you haven’t already. Since I told him my power was off when he called the first time, I was going to inform him that I never turn my computer off so I had no idea how to turn it on. This scenario is getting funnier by the day, since if he does call now, I can say, “THANK GOD YOU CALLED! I HAVEN’T HAD A COMPUTER SINCE SATURDAY!!” Of course it will take 15 minutes to boot, during which time I’ll have lots of opportunity to take advantage of the awesome suggestions on the other post. Then, after I go through all the steps he meticulously explains in order for him to hack my computer and steal all my money, I’ll ask, “What’s an ‘internet’?” Brilliant, no?

My One-Liner Wednesday today had more to do with real life than I wish it had. I was passing out last night when I should have been scheduling the post, then I woke up at 7:10 this morning – an hour and a half late – so I had to drive the kid to school before I could get around to the prompt. Needless to say, it’s been a rough one. However, this is a good opportunity to let you know that if I’m ever AWOL, you check my Twitter feed in the right-hand column, just over there —> somewhere. If possible, I’ll leave a note to let you know what’s happened to me.

I’m almost finished the final edit of my first book in the series, The Great Dagmaru. The actual title for Book 1 is yet to be determined. Book 2 is written and I’m three-quarters of the way through writing Book 3. Unfortunately my plan to get it published this year will not be met. I’m hoping to do so in February.

Between the craziness of the above and spending the day at the hospital in Kingston for a consultation, I’ve been shamefully negligent in responding to comments.  I hope to get back to you all soon!

 


by 33 Comments

Okay, I need your help

This has the potential to be fun. I just had a nice man call me from Microsoft. He introduced himself as “James,” a lovely East Indian name to be sure, to let me know my computer is sometimes “not responsive” because of a serious problem with Windows. James can fix it for me, but I have to be in front of my computer.

I explained to him that, unfortunately, I don’t have any electricity right now (a blatant lie) but he said that’s no problem, he can call me back later and we can fix this thing! He confirmed his name, “Justin,” and said he’d call tonight.

SO! How can I have the most fun with “James Justin” tonight? Suggestions, please!!


by 44 Comments

One-Liner Wednesday – …but wait!

There's still hope!!

There’s still hope!!

Someone really didn’t think this through.

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Anyone who would like to participate, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do,
you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our very cool badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

#1linerWeds badge by nearlywes.com

#1linerWeds badge by nearlywes.com


by 55 Comments

One-Liner Wednesday – Umm… Run?

New blood donors needed! Fish and Game Club

New blood donors needed!
Fish and Game Club

I’m game! …wait, what happened to the old donors?!?

Note: I drove past this sign, turned around, parked as close as I could, and walked to it to take the picture. Some opportunities you just can’t pass up.

_____________________________________________________________________________

Anyone who would like to participate, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do,
you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our very cool badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!


by 18 Comments

#SoCS – In Desperation

Last night I had a dream–scratch that, a nightmare–that Donald Trump was my doctor.
Highlights:
-where did you buy your license to practice?
-no, I don’t need a pelvic exam today, thanks
-the question I had but didn’t want to ask: if you become president, won’t you have to move to the U.S. and give up your practice?
After the appointment he walked me out to my car and planted a kiss on my lips to say goodbye. Needless to say, this one’s going to haunt me for a while.
Bleh.

I’ve been battling a headache all day. The above quote is copied and pasted from my personal Facebook page – and yes, it’s a true story. I’m blaming the headache on that. Or the weather or something.

In desperation to find an excuse: okay, it’s not really desperation. But I’ve been contemplating all the stress in my life and all I have to do (read: all the things I’ve put upon myself) and much of it, I think, is due to desperation.

I haven’t had an income, other than my paper route and I’m not even doing that anymore, in the last sixteen years. Desperate as I am for a career, I’m taking editing courses. Hoping to get some freelance jobs, though maybe not until the new year. I’m desperately trying to finish the editing on my other novel, so I can get that published. I’m desperate for the sanity to be able to do all these things… so I’m planning to do NaNoWriMo this year. Yes, just what I need – to force myself to write 1,667 words a day for a month.

Writing it out, I can see much of my desperation is due to money, or lack thereof. But not necessarily just now. I need to secure my future. If my kids ever decide to move out and I lose the money I receive from the government to look after them, with their disabilities, I’ll have nothing at this rate.

I really didn’t want to make this a rant, nor a pity party. Maybe I should have asked ol’ Donnie for some money to keep quiet about our doctor/patient relationship when I had the chance.

socsbadge2016-17

This super scary nightmare post is part of Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click the following link to see how you, too, can join in the fun! https://lindaghill.com/2016/10/28/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-oct-2916/


by 36 Comments

One-Liner Wednesday – I Thought We Were Roommates!

I got such a kick out of this, and it’s stayed with me so long, that I had to share it with all of you. You’re welcome.

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Anyone who would like to participate, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do,
you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our very cool badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

#1linerWeds badge by nearlywes.com

#1linerWeds badge by nearlywes.com


by 32 Comments

One-Liner Wednesday – The Temptation of a Masochist

Blunt Hair Studio, Kingston

Blunt Hair Studio, Kingston

I was sorely tempted to go into Blunt Hair Studio last weekend, just to see if they’d say, “Holy shit, you went out in public looking like that? For God’s sake sit down and let us do something with your hair!”

_____________________________________________________________________________

Anyone who would like to participate, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do,
you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our very cool badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

#1linerWeds badge by nearlywes.com

#1linerWeds badge by nearlywes.com