Life in progress

Category Archives: Life


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A Rant about Memes

Facebook is littered with them – memes which state that if you care about something you must prove it by re-posting a picture with a bunch of often grammatically incorrect sentences or misspelled words. Things like, “If you want cancer to cured, re-post this in the next twenty seconds,” or “Share if you think animals have rights too.” Of course I want a cure for cancer to be found, and I certainly can’t stand to hear about animals being mistreated, but I never re-post these things – I don’t feel that I need to prove the way I feel to anyone.

But the one that really gets me are the “children with special needs need to be treated like anyone else” memes.

Like this one:

1517440_10205983584770964_93714871328423065_nNo. No, no, no, no, no. I won’t re-post this on Facebook. (Yes, I know it’s going to show up in my feed when I publish this blog post, but at least it’ll have an explanation with it.)

Do I want people to be aware that kids with special needs need to be treated just like everyone else? Yes. Do I want to be guilted into posting this because it shows I have “a strong heart”? No. Do I sound ungrateful right now? Maybe.

I don’t feel that I need a strong heart in order to love my two kids with special needs, and I don’t think anyone else requires a particularly strong heart to care about them. They just need to be observant and kind. Treating any human being with kindness is a simple matter of compassion and at least an attempt to understand. No one has to prove themselves as far as I’m concerned, unless actually confronted with a situation in which they can provide a smile or at least refrain from saying or doing something nasty.

I mean seriously, how far does one of these Facebook memes go? If someone is confronted with an uncomfortable situation in a public place where an Autistic adult walks up to them and begins to talk about his or her imaginary friend, does the poster of the meme remember they posted it and take it to heart? No. The last thing on someone’s mind in this situation is Facebook.

Rather than posting a meme, learn something. Take the time to think about what you’d do. Read articles written by the parents of a special needs child and take their advice. Being guilted into posting on Facebook is useless unless you know what it means.

Ungrateful rant finished.


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One-Liner Wednesday – Don’t “Like” Until You Get It

When reading an ebook on my phone, it’s easier to see the screen when I prop it up on something.

thestand

 

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Anyone who would like to try it out, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday, if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Make it either funny or inspirational.

Have fun!


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Tokyo, Japan – Part 1

A few things I learned about traveling in and around the Tokyo area by train: if you go onto google maps before you head out, you can find out how many stops it is between you and your destination, how many minutes it will take, whether or not you’ll have to transfer from one line to another, and best of all, google maps actually tells you how much it will cost, which is essential information for using the ticket machines. Also, inside the trains there are screens to tell you where the next stop will be with numbers beside the names. I assumed they were stop numbers, but I soon figured out (when they kept changing) that it was the time to the next stop. Very handy in a packed train car when one needs to plan an escape route around all the other passengers. If you visit Japan, you’ll thank me for this.

I left Kamakura with a measure of sadness. I’d grown to love the little town and having never been to Tokyo before, I didn’t have much of an idea of what to expect. I have to say, I was pleasantly surprised with the area in which I chose to stay.

Odaiba is a quiet part of Tokyo compared to the other places I eventually visited. It’s off to the east of the city and a great place to stay if you’re planning to go to Disneyland, though I didn’t get close to the place. I stayed at the Sunroute Ariake Hotel.

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Under $100Cdn/night, it was very clean and there’s a Lawson (convenience store) right in the hotel, so I didn’t have to go out to get something to eat, nor did I have to eat in the restaurant, which was a little pricey to be dining in at every meal. It was also only a two minute walk from the Kokusai-tenjijou (I always find the longest named-place to have to locate) train station, and it was easy to find! so I didn’t have to lug my cases far. The reason I stayed there was the proximity of the venue in which Buck-Tick was playing – I wanted to be able to walk back to my hotel after the concert. It turned out to be a nice 15 minute stroll.

The morning after I arrived I walked over to Zepp Tokyo to see how best to get there. The one thing google maps is not always good for is guiding one in the right direction for walking. It was hard to tell from the map whether or not they were sending me on a stroll down the train tracks. As it turned out, the fastest way there was a humongous foot bridge.

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No cars – bonus

 

When I arrived there the crews were working on emptying trucks of equipment.

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The trucks were at the back, which is where the street is

 

I was surprised to see dozens of girls wandering around pulling small suitcases. With not a hotel in sight I wondered what they could have been doing. I found out later.

I went for breakfast and decided to head in the direction of Diver City Mall. Then I saw this guy.

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Here’s a rare selfie of me beside his foot. He’s pretty tall.

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I wasn’t really sad – the sun was in my eyes

I walked around the mall for an hour or two – there was a band appearing live outside for a small concert and meet-and-greet and thousands of rabid fangirls screaming their heads off to wade through when I came out. But I was heading out to meet Susie, the lovely lady whose Etsy shop is NOW OPEN! (click here) and who was kind enough to buy my concert ticket.

While we had a quick chat, I found out what the deal was with all the young ladies and their suitcases. Not a bag was left to be found but instead, hundreds of heavily made up costumed cosplayers, just there to get together and walk around. The area, being Palette Town which is apparently famous, has apart from Zepp Tokyo this,

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Giant Wheel

and this,

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Mega Web – lotsa cars

as two of its main attractions.

By the time Susie and I said goodbye I was good and tired, so I headed back to the hotel. The next day was dedicated to getting ready for the concert.

To be continued.


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SoCS – Attachments

Attachments can come in many forms. We can become attached to things; keepsakes, favourite things, things that we watch and enjoy listening to, there are too many things to mention. But I think the most unhealthy and possibly dangerous things we can become attached to are ideas.

When I sat down to write this I had to write this: http://lindaghillfiction.com/2015/02/14/fandom-form-letter-tongue-in-cheek/ first. I’m not sure if somewhere between the popularity of the tabloid and the mainstream inundation we have of celebrity news there has become an increase in the obsession people have for their favourite stars; I worry about the state of many people’s ideas of who these celebrities actually are, particularly young girls.

From the time of Puppy Love I’ve known what it is to “fall in love” with a singer. I’ve since recognized that it wasn’t actually love but infatuation. At the time I would pounce on anything Donny Osmond and soak it up. I’d stay home instead of going out with my friends in order to catch a single glimpse on TV. So what has changed?

The internet, for one. Being so much easier for people to find things–pictures, videos, interviews–of their favourite stars – is it feeding the obsession even more? The constant need for these stars to keep themselves in the limelight and give up more of their personal lives can’t be helping. And there breeds the dangerous, obsessive, possessive ideas in young girls’ (and even adults) minds that simply won’t go away. “He’s meant to be mine.” “We have a special connection.” It can seriously interfere with the healthy growth of a person. I know people who refuse real life relationships because they are waiting for their star to meet them and sweep them off their feet. And the pure inundation of media feeds it.

It’s not an isolated phenomenon. It’s widespread. It’s growing. And I wonder if there’s anything we can do about it. Somehow I doubt it.

I have to wonder too how the stars themselves cope with it. Fandom is nice, but the obsessive letters they must get have to be disconcerting. The paparazzi have proven dangerous and intrusive. It’s a wonder to me that anyone would want to be famous. But then I suppose they have their own attachments.

 

Badge by: Doobster at Mindful Digressions

Badge by: Doobster at Mindful Digressions

This post is part of SoCS: https://lindaghill.com/2015/02/13/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-february-1415/ Join in the fun today!!


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One-Liner Wednesday – Snowin’ Like a Bugger, eh?

I think you have to have spent a lifetime in a climate such as the one we have in Southern Ontario, Canada, in order to be able to say with a straight face,

likeabugger

“It’s snowin’ like a bugger, but at least it’s not cold out!” and mean it.

snowbank

This is two day’s worth of snow.

__________________________________________________________________________________________

Anyone who would like to try it out, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday, if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Make it either funny or inspirational.

Have fun!


by 37 Comments

Ruin Porn – It’s a Thing

I’ve always loved looking at abandoned buildings. I remember going on long car trips with my parents and sitting in the back seat watching the scenery go by; nothing caught my attention quite like an old house with its windows boarded up and ivy threatening to consume it whole, or a broken down barn, its walls leaning off its stone foundation as though a good wind could transport it to Oz. Such sceneries inspired me to wonder who lived there, and what ultimately caused them to walk away. Even better were the houses with the front door left open. Traveling by at 60mph my nose would be pressed up against the glass, hoping for a glimpse of peeling wallpaper inside. Did it burn? Perhaps the dog got out and they ran after it, never to return.

I think for me its mostly about the history I can’t read about in a book. I can walk around somewhere like Canterbury Cathedral and think more about all the shoes that wore the floor into ruts than I pay attention to the plaques, telling me which king or queen was entombed where. That’s what imagination is for, after all. Pure inspiration.

And so yes, for these reasons I enjoy looking at photos of abandoned buildings, taken by photographers who love to go into such places. I’d seen the term “ruin porn” a few times around the internet, but it wasn’t until I discovered photographer Seph Lawless, just yesterday in fact, that I decided to look up the term and see exactly what it means.

According to Wikipedia and another article – The Psychology of Ruin Porn I found, the term “ruin porn” refers to the concept that there are photographers out there who take pictures of abandoned places without documenting the wheres, whys and hows in which the places became dilapidated, thus exploiting them much like pornography exploits its subjects. I beg to differ. And yet, can I?

The third (and final) definition in Merriam Webster’s free online dictionary – and the only one not mentioning sex specifically, is this:

3: the depiction of acts in a sensational manner so as to arouse a quick intense emotional reaction

There is definitely something to this in regards to “ruin porn.” In seeing a picture of belongings left behind in the aftermath of disaster, strong feelings indeed are provoked. There’s nothing quite like an abandoned teddy bear left in the mud to bring a tear to the eye. We tend to sympathize inasmuch as what if it happened to us? But what of an empty, abandoned house? Must we know everything about its previous owners and what kind of devastation, whether financial or physical, caused them to leave in order to sympathize with them? Is taking a picture of the structure exploiting their misery in the same way the pornographer exploits his or her human subjects, for the sake of money and lust?

It’s a tough call.

I won’t stop looking at ruin photography; it still inspires stories within me. Does that make me a pornographer? Or is this all just another case of oversensitivity?

I’d sincerely love to know your thoughts.


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The MMR Vaccination Debate – a Parental Perspective

As the mother of an Autistic child, I can’t help but put my two cents worth in on the recent uprising of controversy surrounding the outbreak of measles and the risk of administering the measles, mumps and rubella vaccination. I do believe I have a rather uncommon perspective on the matter. Unique? Maybe not. Nevertheless, here it is.

When my first son (who is completely “normal”) was one year old we went in for his MMR shot and the doctor suggested that I be immunized at the same time. Much to my regret, I did; I found out a few weeks later that I had been two weeks pregnant with my second son when I had the shot. When my second, Chris, was born everything seemed fine. He was developing according to his milestones and even beyond them. He spoke a few words and played normally. Then, at one year of age he had his MMR. He didn’t speak another word until he was four and a half. He was diagnosed at the age of four with Autism.

It wasn’t until after his diagnosis that I heard about the correlation between the MMR vaccine and Autism; for me it all fell into place. What else could it be? I had one perfectly healthy child and another who wasn’t and there are cognizance issues in the history of neither mine nor their father’s families. Then a study was done. It was “proven” that there is no medical evidence that the MMR shot has caused Autism in anyone. I remain skeptical to this day.

BUT.

When Chris was five years old I had another child with a host of different problems. Alex was born with Noonan Syndrome. In the 1960’s Dr. Jacqueline Noonan discovered a set of characteristics when, put together, proved to be a congenital disorder. My baby’s most life-threatening symptoms were those of his heart: an atrial septal defect, hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, and the pulmonary stenosis that was bound to end his life within a year if we didn’t have it corrected with open heart surgery. We were told he had a 50/50 chance of surviving the operation. We went through with it when he was a mere two months old, and yes, it nearly killed him. When the surgeon came into the room and told us that he had just resuscitated our son with open-heart massage and that if his heart stopped again they’d just let him go peacefully we were both frightened and devastated.

Here is what gives me my uncommon perspective on the MMR controversy. I had Alex immunized when he was a year old. Measles, mumps and rubella are all life-threatening illnesses. Having the choice between a healthy Autistic child (which I have) and a dead child (which I almost had) there was no contemplation on my part, even given the suspicion I have that the MMR shots both I had whilst pregnant, and Chris had at the age of one, caused his Autism.

Alex was rendered Deaf during the course of his surgery due to a prolonged period without oxygen. He is not Autistic. I wouldn’t hesitate to have him vaccinated again if it was called for.


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SoCS – Opposing Feelings

I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s much easier to lean towards negative emotions when I’m sick than positive ones. Frustration, fed-upness, anger, even depression make themselves known more readily than calm and contentedness. And yet it’s in my nature to be positive. So I’m even more at odds with myself. Balance is lost – tipped in the wrong direction for me – and so everything is “off.”

My eyes seem to be better today. I won’t spend as much time as I usually do online; I’m afraid my eyesight troubles will come back. But I’m finally getting Alex’s cold now. The sore throat… no, not even. Just tickly. I’m trying not to start coughing lest I not be able to stop.

One thing I am happy about – I got tickets to see Rush in concert in Montreal in June. That’ll be fun. Something to look forward to – and I shouldn’t still be sick by then. Maybe even my shoulder will be better.

See what I mean?

I do suppose it makes sense, to concentrate on the negative when you’re sick. If it doesn’t hurt, you don’t think about it. Until I mention it, for instance, you’re probably not thinking about your teeth. So why should it be any different with emotions? In order to realize I’m content, I must think about the fact. If I’m angry, I know it. If I’m ecstatic, I’m probably concentrating more on what is making me so than the actual feeling. It’s all about mindfulness.

How do you feel? And how often do you feel what you feel?

Badge by: Doobster at Mindful Digressions

Badge by: Doobster at Mindful Digressions

This post is part of SoCS: https://lindaghill.com/2015/02/06/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-february-715/

Love Is In Da Blog

And Love Is In Da Blog: https://justfoolingaroundwithbee.wordpress.com/2015/02/01/love-is-in-da-blog-february-ping-back-post-rules-week-1/

Join in both today!


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I give up

Ever feel like if it’s not one thing, it’s another?

With my stomach upset still lingering but steadily going away I figured, great! I’m gonna be okay! Even my shoulder is feeling better – maybe the day I spent just sleeping did it some good after all! So I’m just coasting along with barely a health concern in the world and BOOM! My eyes are gone again.

The doctor couldn’t figure out what might be wrong, the optometrist didn’t have a clue… I thought it might have been lack of hydration, and that seemed to work for a while. Lutein supplements didn’t help – the optometrist told me not to bother so I went off them and saw (literally and figuratively) no difference. So what can it be?

As I type this I’m sitting with my laptop as close to my face as is reasonable, I’m wearing my reading glasses, and I’m still having to squint hard enough to leave permanent dents in my forehead in order not to see double. When I do relax my eyes it feels like there’s air blowing in them. Maybe they’re still dry, even though I’ve drunk about 3 litres of water today. Who knows? I’ve even tried convincing myself that it’s all in my head. My eyes don’t buy it.

So I give up. After I’m finished typing this I’m turning the computer off, the lights off, and the music up. I hate not being able to read and it’s even worse that I’m sitting here, it’s lovely and quiet and it’s the perfect opportunity to edit… but what can I do?

I’ll persevere through the SoCS prompt tomorrow, but if my eyes don’t get better (and sometimes they miraculously do overnight, so again, who knows?) then I might not be around much until they do.

Please wish me luck.


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Congratulations, Ms. Hill, It’s a Rotator Cuff

We all knew it, didn’t we? I finally found a doctor who was brave enough to stop looking at the x-rays and ultrasounds and take the time to poke, prod and generally make me uncomfortable enough to make a diagnosis on my shoulder pain. I have a rotator cuff injury! *gasp* Two out of four quadrants are affected. Damned if I can remember which ones they are, but the point is, now that I know what’s really wrong I can do what actually felt natural – exercise – to try to fix the problem.

In the last twenty-four hours I’ve come to realize that it’s not really my shoulder that’s bothering me much; it’s all the muscles I’ve let go in the attempt to allow my shoulder to heal. So while I know I can’t push too hard, I can concentrate on exactly what hurts and stop if it’s my shoulder and keep going, albeit gently, if it’s not.

Whoopie!

I’ve also come to realize that being sick can be a good thing. I have some sort of stomach flu that kept me flat on my back for all of Sunday – I slept about 30 hours between Saturday night and Monday morning – but I’m feeling at least awake now and quite happy to be so. Which is why being sick is good. It feels great when it stops!

In all, things are looking up. 🙂