Life in progress

Category Archives: Parenting


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#SoCS – Meme + Memory

Sitting at the dinner table yesterday with my 22-year-old son, I mentioned the spider meme ( https://lindaghill.com/2016/10/12/one-liner-wednesday-i-thought-we-were-roommates/ ) I came across months ago that I found very funny, and he laughed at me. When I asked why, he said I was too old to be saying words like “meme.” So today I decided to look up the origin of the word.

Turns out it was first coined by Richard Dawkins in his book, “The Selfish Gene” in 1976, but he shortened it from the Ancient Greek word, mimeme, meaning “imitated thing.” (Wikipedia link: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Dawkins#Fathering_the_meme ) HA! I can now say to my son. Though if I’m too old to say the word, how old does that make me? Still feeling a little weird about that.

Getting older is weird though. We have memories which give us the wisdom not to repeat our mistakes (with any luck) and yet our memory, or our capacity to remember, decreases with the shrinking of our brains. As much as I don’t like this, it’s inevitable. I either accept it or I fight it – fighting it takes so much more energy.

Having said that, I can fight it to some extent by continuing to learn and challenge myself. I wonder, often, if people who refuse to change their mindsets, form new opinions, or think they already know everything worth knowing lose their memories faster. I had an aunt who was very set in her ways. When she made a decision, she stuck with it no matter what. It might have been that she just hated making decisions so she got them over and done with as quickly as possible. But her decisions also were very predictable, because she never changed her preferences. She was stuck in a certain time, probably her childhood or early adulthood. I’m not sure I was born when she stopped trying new things. I always knew her as completely focused on the way things should be.

And, of course, the memories she shared never changed. The stories we all hear from our older family members are inevitably told as though they’ve never been told before. The polite thing to do is sound surprised, no matter how many times we’ve heard them. I wonder if people who are closed-minded have a narrower memory. Something my ever-learning mind will likely look into one day.

Now that I’ve veered totally off-course from my original intent for this post, I’ll have to go back and change the title. Coming up with titles for posts is hard, isn’t it?

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Stream of Consciousness is for everyone! Click the link to see how you can join in today: https://lindaghill.com/2016/11/11/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-nov-1216/

 


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Anxiety in Children

I thought it would be better by now, but it’s just getting worse. My son, Alex, as most of you know, is Deaf, and he hates masks. Anyone dressed in a costume is an extreme cause of stress for him, from the Easter Bunny, to Santa, to his school mascot. I believe it’s mostly because he can’t see their facial expressions, and thus can’t determine whether or not they are friendly or threatening. Whatever it is, Hallowe’en is the worst time of year.

This morning, getting him to go to school to spend the day with his friends was difficult, to say the least. He doesn’t seem to understand that the people he knows are inside the costumes. He’s sixteen years old physically, but at a mental age of six or seven. It’s not likely to get any better from here.

My concern is that I’m perpetuating the problem. Today I drove him to school so I could be there to reassure him everything was okay. He was nervous (he’s been having anxiety attacks every night before bed for the past week) even though he was able to explain to me himself that masks and scary costumes were not permitted at school. So okay, he needs support. I think there’s a fine line between coddling him and reassuring him when his fears are legitimate. But should I be the one supporting him at this point in his life?

I’m not going to be around forever. As he becomes an adult, there will be a time when he can no longer run to Mommy when there’s a problem. I believe he needs to start, at some point, (soon?) to rely on society to feel safe.

I’m at a loss. Any suggestions are welcome.


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One-Liner Wednesday – Birthdays

The boy and his puppy both have a birthday this week.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

One is 16, the other turns one today. Happy birthdays, Alex and Winston. 🙂

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Anyone who would like to participate, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do,
you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our very cool badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

#1linerWeds badge by nearlywes.com

#1linerWeds badge by nearlywes.com


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One-Liner Wednesday – Wait, the fridge doesn’t have spell-check?!

Found upon waking one morning last week:

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My grocery shopping skillz are up to par: spicey KD (Kraft Dinner) is awesome.

It took me a long time to find fridge-magnet letters, now it looks like I need a red pen for drawing squiggly lines.

 

 _____________________________________________________________________________

Anyone who would like to participate, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do,
you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our very cool badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

#1linerWeds badge by nearlywes.com

#1linerWeds badge by nearlywes.com


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#SoCS – Bussing

If a busser bussing tables runs into you in a restaurant, is it like getting hit by a bus? I’ve always wondered why they call it “bussing.” And why does my spell-check not like the word? Does it like “busing” better? Yes, it does. When I finish this post, I’ll check to see if it’s a Canadian spelling. Spell-check also doesn’t like “colour,” after all.

I never took a bus to school. It was only half a mile to walk, so they let me walk. Even when I was five and six, I was walking to school by myself. There weren’t many crazies about. But I do remember sitting on the curb on the way home from school one day with a friend, and we were throwing stones under cars as they went by. One woman stopped and yelled at us, even though we didn’t actually hit her car. By then we were getting good at clearing the wheels before the car got past. We stopped after the lady yelled at us… until the next day. I think I eventually got bored with it.

What I did do when I was little was make up stories in my head. All the time. That is something I still haven’t gotten bored with.

My kids have always taken the bus to school. When we lived in Gatineau, Quebec, the school board payed a student $5/day to sit with my Autistic son, Chris, on the bus. The first year a student we didn’t know did it, but after that they let his brother do it. Years later, I still have all that money sitting in a bank account for him, for when/if he decides to go to college.

I’m actually appalled at the fact that they no longer have an aide on the bus my Deaf son, Alex, takes to and from school. The bus driver doesn’t know sign language, and the kids, by the time June comes, are up to all kinds of antics. I should probably advocate for an aide.

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This post is brought (not by bus) to you as a response to Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click the link for the prompt and join in today! https://lindaghill.com/2016/09/23/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-sept-2416/


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Angriest, a #SoCS Rant (with swear words and everything)

There are a few things that annoy me about people, but what gets me angriest is when people get annoyed at my kids. This rant is brought on by a trip to the grocery store earlier today and a woman behind us in line. There isn’t much room once you’ve paid for your groceries and you’re packing your own bags. Alex, my Deaf son, was helping me – I was standing at the end of the belt and he was moving things closer to me while standing in the lane where we came out after paying. There was a woman there with a cart who had just paid for her groceries. All she had was a cart full of cases of pop (soda, for those of you in the U.S.). When I turned, after she had raised her voice (I didn’t know she was there) she was saying to Alex that she just needed to get out, that she didn’t have to pack anything, she would just very much appreciate it if we’d excuse her.

Normally an “excuse me” doesn’t require that much explanation, so it occurred to me that she’d probably been saying it to Alex for a while. He had his back turned to her, so he didn’t know she was there. As she walked away, she looked at me and said, “Thank you very much for moving out of the way.” Waaay over the top, even for a Canadian. So I said, “Sorry he didn’t move right away, he’s Deaf.” Or I tried to say that, but she cut me off: “No, no, no, no, I really appreciate it!”

Fuck you, sarcastic bitch.

I want to say I wish people wouldn’t judge, but I realize I’m judging her. Maybe she’d been having a really hard day? But does she need to take it out on us?

I always say that you can make someone’s day with a smile, no matter who they are. Even if they’re a stranger. You can also ruin someone’s day by being sarcastic and jumping to conclusions. Or rather jumping to conclusions and then being sarcastic.  Or maybe I’m just overreacting because I want to protect my son.

One way or another, be nice out there. And be patient.

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This post is brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Check out the rules and join in here: https://lindaghill.com/2016/09/16/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-sept-1716/


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#SoCS – Your Servant

Ah, the things we do for our kids. I drove to Ottawa today for our (my son, Chris, and I) other annual museum pilgrimage. This one is a tour of four different museums – today was the History museum (in Gatineau, where above-mentioned son was born) and the War museum. It’s doubtful I’d ever have visited either of them on my own, but now, after having been to each at least half a dozen times, they feel like home. I seem to discover something new each year – the War museum never fails to humble.

The back of Canada's Parliament buildings from across the river

The back of Canada’s Parliament buildings from across the river

Canadian Museum of History

Canadian Museum of History

Now I’m sitting in my own room, having procured a suite at the St. Paul University residence with two separate bedrooms and a kitchen for under $100. Not bad, eh? Apparently I snore, so my poor son doesn’t like to sleep in the same room as me. (Yes, this is how you know this is stream of consciousness. Normally I wouldn’t admit to such a thing, but no editing…)

Tomorrow we’ll visit the Agriculture and Food Museum (oooh, that might be nice) in lieu of the Science museum we usually go to but can’t because it’s closed. Then it will be on to the Nature museum. Another one I’ve been to, actually more times than the others, because I went there once on a field trip as well. Chris has probably been to them all a dozen times. But he’s Autistic, so he enjoys the repetition.

We got lost when we were looking for the hotel/residence. The street address doesn’t show up from the street – it’s tucked in behind the university and there is loads of construction as well. Chris began to freak out, so I went to one of the local businesses and asked where the place was. He keeps telling me he wants to come to Japan with me. I found today to be a perfect time to explain to him that I get lost often. In Canada, where I speak the language (and can even get by in French), it’s easy to ask for directions. In Japan… I walk around a lot, looking for things myself, even when I’m lost. I can’t imagine what it would be like, as anxious as I sometimes get when I can’t find where I’m supposed to go, having an Autistic 21 year old going through a conniption with me.

So yeah, that probably won’t happen. But the things we do for our kids.

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This has been a perfect example of not using the prompt other than in the title of a post for Stream of Consciousness Saturday. But that’s fair! Because the title prompted what came next. Feel free to follow this and all the other (lax) rules you’ll find here, for SoCS: https://lindaghill.com/2016/08/26/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-august-2716/


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One-Liner Wednesday – Ask Not

dog barkss

Ask not for whom the dog barks. It barks for thee.

Alex and Winston

Alex and Winston

_____________________________________________________________________________

Anyone who would like to participate, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do,
you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our very cool badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

#1linerWeds badge by nearlywes.com

#1linerWeds badge by nearlywes.com


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#SoCS – What I’d Do For Some Cash

I’m not going to lie – I published (and will publish again) my book for cash. Considering the only job I’ve had in the last fifteen years is a paper route, what else am I to do? But publishing, and to make cash isn’t why I write. I do that for me and because I can’t not write down the things that are constantly coming into my head. So much of the stuff I see and hear in life, the stuff I feel too, inspires me.

And, of course, the stuff I see other people feel. I’ve wondered why I write romance. I don’t read a lot of it. I’ll often read books about relationships, but I don’t devour Avon’s publications like many do. I think I’ve come up with why I write it though. Psychology and love. Feelings. For me, writing about love is a passion borne of countless fantasies, inspired by some of the greatest love stories ever told. I’ll never write a bodice-ripper, nor anything shallow. I could, but I won’t. Because for me there has to be something deep about a story. Something… something disturbing. Something that will pull on my heartstrings, or make me laugh or cry or cringe. And yeah, sometimes the things I write make me cringe. But I only write them if they are “true.”

In the meantime, there’s the other stuff I do not-for-cash. Being a mother. I think the only reason we stay-at-home moms don’t get paid is because not even the 1% could afford us. Take my today for instance: I’ve dealt with a behaviorally challenged teenager who has beat up the dog, pounded my cell phone on the kitchen table, broken one of his movies, hit me, and then sat on my lap for cuddles when he found out he couldn’t go for a ride on the city bus. I drove the other kid to a movie and back, played “Uno” ’til I was seeing double, and changed a bed because the dog peed on it. And how much money did I make for all this? Same as I have for the last fifteen years.

Nothing.

How much cash do I deserve?

All of it.

Ha!

But then I don’t ask for much.

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This humble post is brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click here to find out more: https://lindaghill.com/2016/08/12/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-august-1316/


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#SoCS – The Artful Dodger

When I came up with this week’s prompt, my outlook on “art” was so very plain. I was thinking, you know, art, music, writing… the “arts.” But now that I’m writing this post I’m realizing that everyone has an art that they’re good at. I might be an okay writer, and you might be a proficient draw-er, but how about all the other things we can be artful with?

The art of manipulation is one that comes to mind. Very big in the news these days – politics in particular. And how about the art of wine-making? That art is currently my friend. But hey, I only bottle it. My friend Al is the expert.

Some people turn their bodies into art.

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Hell, some people do it daily before they’ll walk out the door.

I’ve never been one for make-up. I’ll put some on once in a blue moon… actually, there are more blue moons that have happened in my lifetime than there are occasions when I’ve put on make-up. I’m a little awestruck at how some women find the time to do it on a regular basis. Like women (or parents in general) who have the time to work outside the home and then come home and take care of their families.

We finally did the lemonade stand today (speaking of parenting). There was no art put into the lemonade itself. It came out of a carton. But Alex did make up some nice signs. Three of them said “Lemonade 25¢” and the one we put up down the street said “Lemonade $25.” Needless to say, we didn’t get a lot of traffic from that direction.  Having said that, one man actually gave us $10 for 3 glasses, so we were close!

Apart from that it’s been a rough day. The dog has found a way under the fence into the neighbour’s yard, so I can’t let him into my back yard anymore. At least not until I can get some extra boards nailed up. Luckily he didn’t decide to take a dip in their inground swimming pool.

Escaping is an art, isn’t it? Yeah, let’s go with that to get me back on track before I end the post.

SoCS badge 2015

This post is part of Stream of Consciousness Saturday: https://lindaghill.com/2016/07/29/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-july-3016/ Click the link to see how you can join in! 😀