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Tag Archives: absolutely not A to Z Challenge 2019


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Oops! No oestrogen for the octogenarian!

Okay, so nobody wants to think about an octogenarian‘s oestrogen. But if I can make a title out of the three words I’m given for my absolutely-not-the-A-Z-Challenge post, it seems I’m compelled to do it. Oops!

Speaking of octogenarians, I didn’t talk to my mother on the phone yesterday, though she called at least 30 times. She has a flip-phone. It’s a new one–they’re manufactured for people like my mum who need something simple to use. Only it turns out, she still can’t figure it out sometimes.

You see, she can open the phone, she can find the numbers she has saved, and she can call. But the moment she hits the enter button to connect the call, an option pops up on the screen that says “Cancel.” For some reason, she cannot resist pushing it when she sees it. So my phone keeps ringing once and stopping, or if I’m really quick, I can pick it up and listen to her hang up on me.

Seriously, the next thing I know I’m going to start getting calls from her, asking if my fridge is running.

What can I say about oestrogen?

You like that spelling?

It’s British for estrogen, in case you hadn’t figured it out.

I like it. Every time I see it, I want to start singing it: “O-estrogen, o-estrogen …” to the tune of “Oh Christmas Tree.”

And now you’ll never hear that song quite the same again.

Oops!

Thanks to the three lovely ladies who gave me my three “O” words for today’s not-A-Z post. You’ll find their links under the words “octogenarian,” “oestrogen,” and “oops.”

Tomorrow’s “P” day! Any suggestions for “P” words for my not the A-Z Challenge post? I’ll take the first three. Note, the comments on my blog are newest on top. One word per person, and please keep ’em clean.

Thank you!


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Nostalgia’s got Nothin’ on the Narwhal

Okay, so I wrote the title and I’ve got nothing. I just didn’t want to delete the title, because I like it.

Who’s to say what a narwhal can remember? Are they capable of a nostalgic moment?

When I was just a little narwhal with a nose-spike only yea long, I used to swim upstream to school, both ways!

(Get it? School? … Fine, narwhals are mammals. Sue me.)

We know elephants are supposed to have good memories.

How about rhinos?

Are rhinos just land-narwhals?

We may never know.

Thanks to the three lovely ladies who gave me my three “N” words for today’s not-A-Z post. You’ll find their links under the words “nothing,” “narwhal,” and “nostalgic.”

I’m in need of suggestions for “O” day, for my absolutely not the A-Z Challenge post tomorrow. One word per person, and please keep ’em clean.

Thank you!


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Miraculous Marzipan Maven

I am no marzipan maven. In fact, I used to take the marzipan off of my Battenberg cake before I ate it. My mum used to buy them every week when I was young. Back when we had a Marks & Spencer in the mall. I haven’t seen one–an M&S in Canada, nor a Battenberg cake–in decades.

Not that that’s at all miraculous when you think about all the stores that are going out of business. We still have our Toys ‘R’ Us here, but Payless is pretty much gone if not completely.

Does M&S still exist in England?

I dread the day when all we have left is Amazon.

Thanks to the three lovely bloggers who gave me my three “M” words for today’s not-A-Z post. You’ll find their links under the words “marzipan,” “maven,” and “miraculous.”

I’m in need of suggestions for “N” day, for my absolutely not the A-Z Challenge post tomorrow. One word per person, and please keep ’em clean.

Ta!


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#SoCS – Slip of the lip

I let the lip slip, it seems. Once again, I’m late for my own party.

So I’ll just slip in here, in the back door rather than the grand entrance I really actually never make, and I’ll mingle with the crowd until everyone thinks I’ve always been here.

I know this makes no sense in regards to writing a blog post, but let’s pretend, shall we?

An appetizer? Why thank you.

I hadn’t realized I’d had this little affair catered. With wandering waiters dressed in crisp uniforms and everything!

Cocktail shrimp, anyone?

And a glass of champagne to loosen the lips and make all the guests happy.

And less likely to notice that I was late.

Do you ever feel like you’re just on the cusp of something? I overhear someone ask.

Well, now that you mention it, I do. But I haven’t a clue what it might be. Other than it’s bound to be pleasing. It’s just one of those feelings.

I do too, I say, but they look at me as if I’ve intruded so I walk away, wondering how my own party got so far out of hand.

Ah well. I suppose that’s what I get.

I can’t even enjoy a shindig in my own head.

Unless …

Let’s listen to music! I exclaim over the din of the crowd, and everyone cheers when I put on something everyone likes. Because I can do that at my imaginary party.

And everyone dances. I’m the toast of the party.

The SoCS party.

At least in my head.

 

SoCS badge by Pamela, at https://achronicalofhope.com/

 

This totally off the top of my head post is brought to you by the letter “L,” and by Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click the following link to find all the participating posts, and join in! It’s fun! https://lindaghill.com/2019/04/12/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-april-13-19/

I’m taking suggestions here for “M” words for Monday’s post. I’ll take the first three, one per person, and please make them safe for work. thank you!

 


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Kangaroo adds Kilos

I titled this post “Kangaroo adds Kilos” but that’s not strictly true: it’s the formula that adds the kilos. But only when the Kangaroo is working properly, which it hasn’t been.

Confused yet?

Yeah, thought so.

Kangaroo is the brand of feeding pump I use for Alex. Ours hasn’t been very reliable lately. Which isn’t to say there’s anything wrong with Kangaroo brand pumps, but ours was donated to us, and I have no idea how old it is. It’s probably old. We’ve had it for more than two years.

Want a visual? Here ya go: https://www.cardinalhealth.com/en/product-solutions/medical/patient-recovery/patient-care/enteral-feeding/kangaroo-joey-enteral-feeding-pump.html

And honestly, the only other problem we’ve had with it up until recently is the kitty. Every once in a while he’ll decide to eat the tubing to get at the formula inside. It sucks when we spring a leak the size of a kitty fang, so we have to keep an eye on him.

He’s not as innocent as he looks.

Thanks to the three lovely bloggers who gave me my three “K” words for today’s not-what-you-expected, not-A-Z post. You’ll find their links under the words “Kangaroo,” “kilos,” and “kitty.”

I don’t need suggestions today, but look for my request for them on my SoCS post tomorrow for Monday’s absolutely not the A-Z Challenge post.


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Justifying the Juxtaposition of my Balls

By now it’s no secret how busy I am. I’m juggling so many balls at a time, I can barely keep track of them.

Do I drop ’em every once in a while?

Rarely.

I’m not a very good juggler, but somehow I almost always manage to catch ’em before they reach the floor.

The real struggle, though? Is when I have to use one to justify the other.

I can’t do this because I’ve got to do that right now, or that won’t get done before I drop the ball.

Organizing the juxtaposition of my balls is almost as hard as keeping them in the air.

And yeah, sometimes I have to bullshit my way through it all, in order to keep my sanity.

Because, you know what? I’m not perfect.

But the alternative is having a whole mess of balls on the floor. And if there’s one thing that’s worse than juggling?

It’s cleaning up balls.

Thanks to the three lovely ladies who gave me my three “J” words for today’s oversharing not-A-Z post. You’ll find their links under the words “juxtaposition,” “juggling,” and “justify.”

This will be the last time this week that I’ll look for suggestions, since the “L” word will be Saturday’s SoCS prompt. So, “K” words? Anyone? One per person, and keep ’em clean if you please. I’ll accept the first three I get … remember, the oldest comments are at the bottom of all the comments on my posts.


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I’d’ve’n’t had insane issues, if …

I’d’ve’nt (I would have not) had the insane issue of being too tired to write this post if I’d been able to sleep last night.

And the night before.

I’d’ve’nt had the insane issue of being alone to look after my mum (who’s okay, by the way–thanks for all the good wishes) if I hadn’t been an only child.

But there was nothing I could do about that.

I’d’ve’nt had the insane issue of wanting to learn everything now, if I hadn’t been me.

But I am.

I’d’ve’nt had the insane issue of having to keep remembering how to spell “I’d’ve’nt” every second line if I hadn’t asked for a suggestion for an “I” word.

But I did. (Thanks again.)

I’d’ve’nt had the insane issue of wondering if “I’d’ve’nt” shouldn’t be spelled “I’d’ve’n’t” if I hadn’t been an editor.

But that’s one of the things I HAVE learned.

And it’s bugging me.

Because there’s no red squiggly line under I’d’ve’n’t.

So someone out there agrees with me.

I’d’ve’n’t had the insane issue of figuring out how to end this post if I hadn’t started it.

…

That’ll do.

Thanks to the three people who gave me my three “I” words for today’s “n’t A – Z” post. You’ll find two blogs and one Twitter account under the three links for “I’d’ve’nt,” “issue,” and “insane.”

Looking for “J” words … anyone got a “J” word for me? One per person, keep it clean if you please. I’ll accept the first three I get … remember, the oldest comments are at the bottom of all the comments on my posts.


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Mother Hen

It’s hard to not act like a mother hen some days, especially when you’re a mother and you’re responsible for your own mother.

She’s back in the hospital again. My mother, that is. She fell today when she was outside having a cigarette, and she cut her head open. Smoking is dangerous to your health, I tell you!

She’s had six staples in the back of her head and a CT scan to say that’s all that’s wrong with her this time. Unlike last time when she fell and broke her neck. At least it wasn’t that horrendous.

Now, I’m just waiting for my eldest son to come home from work at 11:30 pm so I can go pick up my mum and drive her back to the retirement home.

Oh, to have harmony in my life.

Thanks so much to the three ladies who gave me today’s “H” words. You’ll find their links under the words “hen,” “horrendous,” and “harmony.”

I could use some “I” words for tomorrow’s illegal A to Z post. One word per person in the comments, and please keep them safe for work. Also note when you’re looking in the comments to see if I already have my three words that the oldest comments are at the bottom of the page.

Thanks!


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A Great Gregarious Gift

I knew the regular meaning of the word gregarious–outgoing, social–but I thought I’d look it up to see if there was anything else. And wouldn’t you know it, there was another definition to be found! From Merriam-Webster online:

a: of a plant : growing in a cluster or a colony
b: living in contiguous nests but not forming a true colony —used especially of wasps and bees
“b” is the sort of great gift I often find in the hedge at the front of my house. My best friend, John, has been stung after finding such a gregarious gift.
Hey, does that bow look suspiciously like insect wings? I wouldn’t open it if I were you! Might be a gargantuan wasp!

Thanks so much to the three ladies who gave me today’s “G” words. You’ll find their links under the words “gregarious,” “great,” and “gift.”

Care to give me some “H” words for tomorrow’s “absolutely-not-the-A-Z-Challenge-because-I-didn’t-sign-up-for-it-and-doing-it-anyway-would-be-wrong” post? One word per person in the comments, and keep ’em clean.

Ta!


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#SoCS – Flipping Fabulous

All day, while I’ve been sitting on the couch with my laptop, editing a book, I’ve considered writing my SoCS post about books. About fabricating stories.

The day passed.

I didn’t finish my edit as I’d hoped to.

It was Sunday already by the time I decided to switch off the editing project and start on my SoCS post. So to start, I thought I’d make up my “F” badge for my “absolutely NOT A to Z” post.

And I tried to draw books.

Then I discovered that books aren’t that easy to draw in Paint 3D. They’re so difficult, in fact, that I had to write “BOOK” on my drawing of a book, so everyone would know what it was.

Flipping fabulous, I thought.

So I opened a bottle of wine. Which I am now drinking to celebrate a full day of work that I didn’t get finished, and a pathetic excuse for a picture of a book.

And this, ladies and gentleman, is why I write ’em and edit ’em and don’t draw ’em. Or at the very least, why I get paid to write ’em and edit ’em, but I don’t get paid to draw ’em.

Unless you REEEALLY want to throw me some cash.

But not coins … they hurt when they ping off the noggin’.

I should mention here that I’m open for suggestions for “G” words for Monday’s post. Leave them in the comments, if you please. I’ll take the first three–one per person, must be polite. The words, not the people. But polite people are good, too.

Last words of advice: never drink and blog.

SoCS badge by Pamela, at https://achronicalofhope.com/

Okay, you can drink and blog if you want to.

This post is brought to you by the letter “F,” and by Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click the following link to find all the participating posts, and join in! It’s *hic* fun! https://lindaghill.com/2019/04/05/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-april-6-19/

NOTE: This post is NOT a passive-aggressive plea for validation of my mad Paint skillz. It’s just my thoughts as I thunk ’em. … Holy Shamoly! “Thunk” didn’t get a squiggly red line under it!! I’m totally using that word from now on. Or maybe it’s just out of context …

Nope! Looked it up.

thunk

\ ˈthəŋk  \

Definition of thunk

 (Entry 1 of 3)

dialectal past tense and past participle of THINK

Okay, I’m finishing this post now. And I’m turning my editor brain off. Honest.