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#JusJoJan 2018, the 12th – Aggravate

Things are going from bad to worse with my mother, and smoking is once again the culprit. For those of you who missed it, I wrote a post in November (click here for that post) about my mother’s tendency to fall and break bones when she went outside for a cigarette at the retirement residence where she lives. Before I discovered that she was falling because she was sitting on the seat of her walker and taking the brakes off before she stood up, the nurses took her smokes away from her, which necessitated that she ask for one so someone would know she was going out. She got a walker without a seat, and she got her cigarettes back. It was all fine and dandy until last week.

They caught her smoking in her room. They took her cigarettes away, and this time they’re not giving them back. She can still smoke any time she wants, she just has to get one on her way out the door. Not a big deal, right? Not if you don’t know my mother.

When she was caught, she apparently didn’t know she was doing anything wrong. The nurse that called me said she walked into my mum’s room and asked politely for her cigarettes. My mother handed them over willingly. Her senile dementia is, of course, the reason it is now a problem.

Now, she:

  1. Has forgotten that she smoked in her room.
  2. Says they’re accusing her of smoking in her room because they can smell smoke on her jacket.
  3. Says they shouldn’t have gone into her room when she wasn’t there and taken her cigarettes.
  4. Says the nurse who said she was smoking in her room is a liar.
  5. Phones me 10 times a day to ask me if I have something to do with the fact that her cigarettes are with the nurses.
  6. Phones me 10 times a day to ask me where her cigarettes are.
  7. Complains to the nurses 20 times a day that she should be able to have her cigarettes back because she doesn’t smoke in her room.
  8. Complains to the management that the nurses are lying and she wants her cigarettes back.

All this finally came to a head two days ago when the management called me, clearly aggravated, to say that when someone with dementia gets to the point that their forgetfulness causes them anxiety, it’s necessary to start considering a nursing home.

Perhaps there’s someone out there who can verify that this is a fact, perhaps they’re just getting tired of answering the same questions 20 times a day. All I know is if my mother goes into a nursing home, there will be no more smoking, and she’s only going to go downhill that much faster.

I don’t know what to do. Explaining things to her–even if she understands, which she usually doesn’t–has no lasting effect. I feel like putting her into a home is tantamount to condemning her.

Aren’t I cheerful today?

The above paragraphs of moroseness are brought to you by Just Jot it January, and in particular, prompted by the word “aggravate,” provided by Fandango! Thank you so much, Fandango! You can find Fandango’s JusJoJan post by clicking right here. Please go and say hi! To participate in the prompt, please visit this post, where you’ll find the rules and you can leave your link in the comments.


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One-Liner Wednesday & #JusJoJan Daily Prompt – January 10th, 2018

It’s the age-old battle of mother and child, yet since I became an editor, it has taken on a new tone:

(The first photo, in fridge magnets, is written “Mom! Stop editing my life” and in the second image, is written “Fred! Stop editing my fridge.)

 

Here are the general rules to follow for Just Jot it January:

1. Just Jot It January starts January 1st, but it’s never too late to join in! Here, we run on the honour system; the “jot it” part of JusJoJan means that anything you jot down, anywhere (it doesn’t have to be a post, it can even be a grocery list) counts as a “Jot.” If it makes it to your blog that day, great! If it waits a week to get from a sticky note to your screen, no problem!

2. I’ll post the daily prompts at 2am my time (GMT -5), every day except for Saturday’s Stream of Consciousness (SoCS) prompt–you’ll find that one on Friday morning at 9:30am. That daily post (i.e. this one) will be where you leave your link for others to find in the comment section. There will be a prompt for every day except Wednesday, when the prompt is simply my One-Liner Wednesday.

2a. Since today is Wednesday, I challenge you to make your JusJoJan post a one-liner. If you don’t care to, or if you’ve already written your post, no problem. Remember, with One-Liner Wednesday you can write anything – it’s only a prompt to write one line, not necessarily to keep to the same theme as mine. The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

(i) Make it one sentence.

(ii) Make it either funny or inspirational.

(iii) Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

(iv) Enjoy yourself!

(v) Use our One-Liner Wednesday badge.

3. As long as your blog is on WordPress, you’ll be able to link via pingback. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL from the daily prompt post, and paste it anywhere in your post. Check to make sure your link shows up where you want it to, and go back occasionally to see other bloggers’ entries – the more you visit others, the more they’ll visit you! If you’re participating from another blogging host, just drop a link into the comment section. Note: The newest pingbacks and comments will appear at the top.

4. Tag your post JusJoJan and/or #JusJoJan.

5. Write anything! Any length will do! It can even be a photo or a drawing – you’re going to title it, right? There’s your jot!

6. The prompts are here both to remind you and to inspire you to write. However, you don’t have to use the prompt word of the day. You can link any kind of jot back here. Note: If it’s 18+ content, please say so in a comment with your link or close to your pingback.

7. If you’d like to, use the JusJoJan badge so that others can find your post more easily.

8. Have fun!

To find the full list of daily prompts from now until the end of the month, click this link: https://lindaghill.com/2017/12/27/what-is-just-jot-it-january-2018-rules/ and scroll down to the bottom of the post.


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#JusJoJan 2018, the 7th – Indelible

I don’t remember if it was in response to a comment or just his general opinion, but I once wrote a letter to the husband of a friend, explaining why I had tattoos. This was years ago now, so I also can’t recall what, exactly, was in the letter, but apparently the writing of it made an indelible impression on me.

I can, however, tell you what made me get my tattoos. My first was a rose on my ankle, which reminded me of my father. Roses were his favourite flower. The dragon on my chest is close to an image I was obsessed with as a young teen. I drew it everywhere. My butterfly on the back of my neck was for the emergence of my life as a mother. I’ve had two more since I wrote the letter, but those three are the ones I have the most connection with. The memories that required me to have an indelible mark placed upon me, so that I’d never forget.

Strangely, I find my tattoos comforting. They are a guarantee that as long as I can still see, I’ll know that I had a life worth writing the story of on my skin.

This rather introspective post was brought to you by Just Jot it January, and in particular, prompted by the word “indelible,” provided by Ruth! Thank you so much, Ruth! You can find Ruth’s JusJoJan post by clicking right here. Please go and say hi! To participate in the prompt, please visit this post, where you’ll find the rules and you can leave your link in the comments.


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One-Liner Wednesday – Not a Fan of Christmas

For his third Christmas on earth, Winston decides this holiday isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

You’re not seriously planning to put this thing on my head.

This whole Christmas deal sucks.

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If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our very cool badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

#1linerWeds badge by Dan Antion

 


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#SoCS – Yul log?

You’ll forgive me, won’t you? For missing my own prompt again? Though technically it is Sunday, it’s still Saturday to me because I haven’t gone to bed yet. It’s very very late Saturday night … so late, it’s Sunday morning. 😛

I’ll have to forgive myself, actually, for making the mistake of trying to find a picture of Yul Brynner tied up so that I could say Yul tied … because what I got instead was to be treated to a photo of a young Yul Brynner with no clothes on. Full frontal. So for my efforts to find a festive Yul tied, I ended up with a Yul log … errr … okay, a Yul average-size stick? Umm … did you know Yul Brynner was a brunette? Neither did I, until today.

So, where was I? Oh yes. I was busy today. I think I’ve finished my Christmas shopping, apart from the food. And most of that is done, too. Turkey’s thawing, veggies are bought, as are the potatoes and all the other stuff … yes, the stuff-ing too. So I’ll be able to mow down on a nice drumstick on Christmas … aaaand, I just got a flashback of good ol’ Yul. NO, I am not buying a Yule log for dessert this year!

Oh dear, can you tell I’m tired? No, I’m not drunk. But I do have to put the white wine in the fridge – thanks for reminding me.

And on that note, I’ll wish everyone a lovely Christmas, a happy Hanukkah, and a wonderful holiday all ’round.

Now you can go Google Yul Brynner naked.

Cheers!

This silly post is brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click the link to find all the other entries in the comments! https://lindaghill.com/2017/12/22/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-dec-23-17/


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One-Liner Wednesday – So, how was your evening?

This pretty much sums up my yesterday evening:

How was yours?

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If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our very cool badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

#1linerWeds badge by Dan Antion


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#SoCS – Liquid Love

Ah, the end of a busy day. I’m sitting here with a glass of liquid love–the first bottle of wine I’ve opened in a long time. It’s red. Cabernet Franc, my favourite.

I started writing this post at 11:55pm, so it’s going to be a Stream of Consciousness Sunday for me. I come by it honestly, though. I’ve only been kid-free for an hour, and it’s been an hour of me-time.  So what have I been doing all day? Let me tell you.

I took Alex to see the movie Wonder, and it was, indeed, wonderful. It’s the first time he’s ever sat through a movie without asking to go home part-way through. He related to it–he related to the main character, Auggie. To Auggie’s many hospitalizations, and to his being set apart from kids who should, by rights, be his peers. Although Alex has his Deaf friends and teachers at school who treat him like just another kid, I suppose he’s the polar opposite of Auggie, being treated well outside of school. To the kids in our neighbourhood, Alex is the outcast. If this makes no sense, I apologize. See the movie. Know this is real life, for us.

Anyway, Alex thoroughly enjoyed the movie and so did I. After we came home, and after our ritual (yes, ritual, because my autistic son, Chris, wouldn’t go a weekend without it) McDonald’s feast, we put up our Christmas tree. I have to say I’m loving the new lights we have this year. I can change the colour to suit my mood. As we put the tree up–Alex, his eldest brother and his fiancé, and I–we discussed the difference in the classic white being the calm, sane side of our family (HA!) versus the coloured chaos, which is more the norm in our house.

The lights are more off-white–more warm than this. I’ll try to post a more accurate picture on Instagram.

 

I’m out of liquid love in my glass. One more, methinks, and then off to bed. In the morning it will be another liquid love, less of the liquor kind and more to do with caffeine. Mmmm…

Cheers.

This post is part of Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click on the link to find all the other amazing posts in the comments, and join in next week! https://lindaghill.com/2017/12/08/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-dec-9-17/


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Elder Abuse

Abuse of the elderly–seems like the definition of that would be easy. Don’t abuse them physically or verbally, don’t take advantage of them, and have patience for their failing memories. Simple, right? Apparently not.

Going back a few months, you might remember my mention of my mother not being well. She lives in a retirement home just up the street from where I live, apart from the six weeks she spent in the hospital from last June until August. She fell and broke her neck. I’m not exaggerating–she actually fractured the vertebrae at the top of her spine. It didn’t for a minute stop her from walking, but I was cautioned that if she turned her head a certain way, she might finish herself off. Since she couldn’t be trusted to keep her neck brace on, she was confined to a hospital bed.

Since then, she’s been told that when she goes out for a cigarette (because she can’t smoke inside, naturally), she has to take good care to keep her walker with her and watch where she’s going. Fast forward to last week.

She fell, yet again, this time breaking her ribs. Will she stop smoking and stay inside? Of course not. She’s been smoking since she was fourteen years old. Seventy-four years ago.

I started off by giving her cigarettes to the nursing staff, in hopes that she’d have someone to go out with. This, of course, was far beyond my better judgement to take them away altogether because of the risk of pneumonia with broken ribs. That worked for a while, until she started to complain to both myself and the staff that we were treating her like a twelve-year-old.

So, she got them back. And guess what? She’s fallen two more times, hitting her head both times.

So I’m stuck. She can’t remember from one minute to the next that going outside is a life-or-death situation. When I explain it to her, she says all right, she’ll wait for a nurse to go out with her. Less than two minutes later she’s asking why there are no cigarettes in her room. What do I do? What is the worse abuse? Denying her what is arguably the one pleasure she has in life to save her life, or letting her kill herself because she doesn’t remember?

Abuse of the elderly. It feels inevitable.


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#SoCS – Moments in Arms

It didn’t start until I got to the point (or my kids did, rather) that they didn’t need to be held anymore. When my babies were babies, I have to admit I enjoyed being able to put them down. I couldn’t get anything done–they wanted to be held all the time. But then …

As they started to become independent, I cherished those moments when they’d let me hold them. When they were getting bigger–big enough that I knew they’d soon be too big to hold or cuddle in my lap. Or held in my arms.

Time doesn’t stop. Growth happens, and nothing waits until we’re ready to have it happen to us. It’s a skill, I think, to appreciate what we have while we have it. It takes practice to enjoy the moment. To be aware of where we are at any given moment. Because we’re always looking forward or backward. Gotta do this or that, and God, how I regret doing that, or I wish I could go back …

Now, when I have the opportunity to hold my children–two of whom are adults–though those moments are brief, I find myself looking back to when they were small.

I need to take my own advice.

This tired post is brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Check out the other posts here: https://lindaghill.com/2017/11/10/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-nov-11-17/


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#SoCS – Allspice

Thyme and time again, every week, it seems, I post a prompt with a bit of an idea in my head of what I’m going to write, but when I finally sit down, it’s something else. This week, I’m writing rather gingerly (in a way), because I’m trying to do it around all the other things I should be doing for tomorrow’s birthday party dinner.

I invited friends and family to cumin join us, and have already bought cards for myself and my mother to give to Alex (a cardamom), but I still have to go buy a few presents. And wrap them. Which of course will make them all parsley. (That made me laugh.)

Although he doesn’t eat (my son is tube-fed), Alex likes to choose what everyone else wants, and if it’s something that tastes good to him, he’ll have some. For tomorrow, he’s requested “big chicken,” which means a whole barbecued chicken from the grocery store. And a Spiderman cake for dessert, which I really should order soon. Mustardiness rule my life all the time? I need to follow my own sage advice: don’t procrastinate! I need to sumac myself upside the head with it once in a while.

Whatever happens, I’m sure tomorrow’s dinner will be peppered with love, free of a salt (ouch, that was a stretch), and anise day all around. In fact, it may just be a macing. And dinner itself is sure to be savory.

Fall is when it gets chili outside.

This post is brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click the link and join in! https://lindaghill.com/2017/10/20/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-oct-2117/