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254. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language

Saturday, May 12th, 8:00pm
Hillary (and Sean)

 

Hillary sits at the window. Sean takes the seat beside her.

Hillary: What do you want?

Sean: It’s not what I want. It’s what I got to offer. (pulls a baggie part way out of his pocket)

Hillary: Yeah, what’s the catch? Do I gotta sleep with you?

Sean: You don’t got to. You can if you want.

Hillary: May as well. What do I got to lose?

Sean: Your self-respect?

Hillary stares at him.

Sean: (laughing) Yeah I know. I’m a joker.

Hillary: You know what? You’re right. Go find someone else to fuck up.

Sean: Now now, don’t get all grumpy on me. I heard lover boy dumped you. You ain’t got a lot of choices.

Hillary: (shakes head) Right. I’m a fuckin’ loser. Get away before I infect you with my loser self.

Sean: (getting up) It’s your loss.

 

Next stop: Sunday, May 13th, 2:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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251. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Wednesday, May 9th, 5:00pm
Drommen and Francine

 

Drommen: Are you sure you’re going to be okay?

Francine: Jake, I’ll be fine. The doctor gave me the go-ahead.

Drommen: But isn’t it a little drastic, you moving out?

Francine: I’ll be okay.

Drommen snorts.

Francine: And besides, I’ve cramped your style enough already.

Drommen: Pfft. What style?

Francine: How about that girl you like? Hillary, or Jessica or whatever her name is?

Drommen: Jessica. She doesn’t want anything to do with me. Thinks I’m a pervert.

Francine: So convince her you’re not. I know you’re a decent guy.

Drommen: (regards her silently for a moment) You don’t know me as well as you think you do, sis.

Francine: Sure I do.

 

Next stop: Thursday, May 10th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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223. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Wednesday, April 11th, 5:00pm
Hillary (and Drommen)

 

Hillary sits at the window. Drommen stops in the aisle beside her.

Hillary: (looking up at him) You gonna sit?

Drommen: Is that an invitation?

Hillary shrugs. Drommen sits.

Drommen: How have you been keeping?

Hillary: Okay I guess. I got hit on by another guy on the bus the other day.

Drommen: Not another flasher, I hope.

Hillary: What do you care?

Drommen: (sighs) I do care about you.

Hillary: So you wanna get together then?

Drommen: Change of heart?

Hillary: (shrugs) You’re better then Sean. He’s an asshole.

Drommen: (pats her knee) Know what? You can find someone better than me too. (moves to get up)

Hillary: (grabs his sleeve) Wait! I didn’t mean it that way.

Drommen: Yes you did. And so do I.

Drommen changes seats.

 

Next stop: Thursday, April 12th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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203. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language

Thursday, March 22nd, 5:00pm
Hillary (and Sean)

 

Hillary sits at the window. Sean takes the seat beside her.

Sean: Still pissed?

Hillary: What do you think?

Sean: Here. (hands her a piece of paper) I made you a drawing to cheer you up.

Hillary: (staring at the paper) What is it?

Sean: It’s a guy.

Hillary: With the head of a cow? And where’s his right hand?

Sean: Inside his coat. It’s your lover boy.

Hillary frowns.

Sean: I call it “Beef Strokinoff.”

Hillary: (throws the paper at him and pushes him) Asshole!

Sean falls out of his seat, laughing, and moves to the back of the bus.

 

Next stop: Friday, March 23rd, 9:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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200. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language

Monday, March 19th, 5:00pm
Drommen (and Hillary)

 

Drommen sits at the window. Hillary boards the bus and tries to walk past him.

Drommen: (reaching out to grab her lightly by the sleeve) Hey.

Hillary: I got nothing to say to you.

Drommen: Look, I’m sorry about the other day.

Hillary: Sure you are.

Drommen: I didn’t want my sister to know. She’s not well. Will you sit, please?

Hillary: (sits beside him, arms crossed) That wasn’t very nice you know.

Drommen: I know. I apologize.

Hillary: So what happened when you got arrested?

Drommen: I’ve got to go to court. But it’s a case of mistaken identity. I haven’t done anything wrong.

Hillary: Not what I heard.

Drommen: (sighs) Okay fine. I might have propositioned a few people but I’ve never been rude about it. I take “no” for an answer.

Hillary: Why do you do it at all then?

Drommen: (shrugs) Shits and giggles I guess.

Hillary: Can you stop?

Drommen: Not if I don’t have to.

Hillary: Then you won’t mind taking “no” for an answer with me, neither. “No” I won’t sit and talk to you no more.

Hillary changes seats.

 

Next stop: Tuesday, March 20th, 10:00am

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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197. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language

Friday, March 16th, 9:00pm
Hillary (and Sean)

 

Hillary sits at the window. Sean takes the seat beside her.

Sean: Hey.

Hillary: What?

Sean: I just said hey. Who pissed in your Rice Krispies this morning?

Hillary snorts.

Sean: You and lover boy break up?

Hillary: I’m not talking about him.

Sean: Ohhh, trouble in Paradi–

Hillary: (cuts him off) Wanna get fucked up?

Sean: Sure.

Hillary: Good. I got the dope. Just promise me you’re not gonna talk about that fuckhead, and you might get more then just dope.

Sean pretends to zip his lips shut.

Hillary: (regards him silently for a moment) I think I like you this way.

Sean: You know me. Anything for a blow job.

Hillary: (turns to the window) Never mind.

 

Next stop: Saturday, March 17th, 10:00am

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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196. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language

Thursday, March 15th, 5:00pm
Drommen and Francine (and Hillary)

 

Drommen: Let’s just get you home okay? You look like you’re about to collapse. I don’t know why they let you out so soon …

Francine: I’m okay.

Drommen: (puts his arm around her) No you’re n– (looks up to see Hillary board the bus) Oh God.

Hillary: (approaches) Jake! You’re out!

Drommen: (widening his eyes and shaking his head minutely) Jessica, hi. This is my sister, Francine.

Francine: (looks up and smiles thinly) Hi. Jake’s mentioned you. Nice to meet you.

Hillary: Hi. (turns to Drommen) So, how was–

Drommen: (cutting her off) Francine’s not feeling well. Can we talk another time?

Hillary: Sssure … I just wanted to say I’m glad you got out of j–

Drommen: FUCK! off now, please.

Hillary, looking as though she’s about to cry, walks to the back of the bus.

Francine: Why were you so rude? I thought you liked her.

Drommen: I do. Just … never mind. Let’s get you home, okay?

 

Next stop: Friday, March 16th, 9:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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195. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Wednesday, March 14th, 8:00pm
Grub (and Hillary and everyone else on the bus)

 

Grub sits at the window. Hillary takes the seat beside him.

Grub: Hey.

Hillary: Hey.

Grub: I love you, man.

Grub reaches out to touch her. She moves to the seat behind.

Grub: (stands and turns) I love you, man!

Grub: (lifts hands) I love all of you!

Grub gets kicked off the bus.

 

Next stop: Thursday, March 15th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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186. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Monday, March 5th, 6:00pm
Hillary (and Drommen)

 

Hillary sits at the window. Drommen takes the seat beside her.

Hillary: Hey.

Drommen: Hi there. Sorry I couldn’t make it the other night. My sister needed me.

Hillary: That’s okay.

Drommen: Are you busy tonight?

Hillary: (sits up straight) No.

Drommen: Still got that weed?

Hillary: (smiles) Yeah.

Drommen: I’d invite you back to my place, but we’d be alone. I’ll understand if you’re not comfortable with that.

Hillary: No! No that’s fine. Sooo … what does it do to you anyway? (bats eyelashes) You said you’d tell me when I’m nineteen …

Drommen: (grins) I could show you right now if you’d like.

A man steps up and taps Drommen on the shoulder.

Man: That’s enough, Sir. I’m going to have to ask you to come with us.

Drommen: … but I was just going to …

Man: Ma’am, is this the man you were telling us about?

Hillary: No! It’s another guy!

Man: You don’t have to be afraid to tell me. If this is him …

Hillary: It’s not! It’s another guy who kinda looks like him. The other guy has a mole!

Drommen: Look, if I could just show you what I was …

Man: There’s no need for that, Sir. If you’d just come peaceably.

Hillary: No! Don’t take him! He’s not the one!

Man: You’re not the only one to identify him. I’m sorry.

Hillary: Jake–

Drommen: It’s okay. You have other things to worry about. I’ll see you later.

The undercover cop leads Drommen to the door.

Hillary: (calling to Drommen) I’ll be waiting for you, Jake!

 

Next stop: Tuesday, March 6th, 7:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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184. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language

Saturday, March 3rd, 6:00pm
Hillary (and Sean)

 

Hillary sits at the window. Sean takes the seat beside her.

Sean: So how’d it go with your lover boy the other night?

Hillary: I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Sean: He said no, didn’t he.

Hillary: I still don’t know what you’re talking about.

Sean: Did he show you his “thing”? (chuckles)

Hillary turns to the window, ignoring him.

Sean: I hear he likes showing it off.

Hillary continues to ignore him.

Sean: What’s his stupid name again?

Hillary: (snapping at him) It’s Jake, and it’s none of your business!

Sean: He said no. I knew it!

Hillary: Go fuck yourself.

Sean: I think you’re the one who needs the fu…

Hillary: FUCK OFF!

Sean: Oooh, touchy! All right. Fine. I’ll back off. (looks to the front of the bus) Hey, look who’s getting on!

Hillary: (sits up straight and sees a mother and daughter: strangers, boarding the bus) Fuck off. (she pushes him out of the seat as he doubles up laughing) Asshole.

Sean walks to the back of the bus chortling.

Hillary: Asshole!

 

Next stop: Sunday, March 4th, 1:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.