Life in progress

Tag Archives: humour


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One-Liner Wednesday – Waking on the weekend

It was interesting enough waking up to my eldest son’s cat on Saturday morning, since he (the cat) is supposed to stay in the basement,


but it was even more interesting to find out Alex was riding him (the cat).

If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our lovely badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!


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#SoCS – Critical Thinking

I don’t like criticizing people. Okay, maybe I do criticize members of my family and my best friend once in a while (shut up, John), but people I don’t know very well–people who might take my criticism the wrong way–I don’t like to criticize. Why not? Because I don’t want them to think I’m judging them. I like to think of myself as non-judgmental. Really, I don’t judge.

So what did I do? I chose editing as a career. Possibly one of the most critic-heavy jobs one can do. I criticize people’s writing for a living.

Maybe it’s being critical without being judgmental that’s the biggest challenge for me. And I do love a challenge. What I do NOT do is judge people’s writing. I don’t judge people on their ability to write a certain way, or on their lack of knowing the difference between “discrete” and “discreet,” for instance.

Look at it this way:

I can tell you your fly is open without judging you. That might be seen as criticizing your ability to remember to do your fly up, but still, I don’t judge you for it. I assume it was a mistake and that you’re not trying to flash me. My biggest reason for telling you is so you’ll do it up before someone comes along and laughs at you for it, less discreetly than I did.

The difference between that and editing? After all, ideally, I edit before someone indiscreetly points and at you and judges you for not knowing the difference between “discrete” and “discreet.”

The difference is, you don’t have to spend thousands of hours learning how to notice someone’s fly is down. You just have to have a good eye. Or a bad eye. Don’t judge me!!

SoCS badge by Pamela, at https://achronicalofhope.com/

This very late, very non-judgmental post is brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Sunday Saturday. Click the following link to find all the other critics posts for this week. It’s fun! https://lindaghill.com/2019/02/22/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-feb-23-19/


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One-Liner Wednesday – I need to get out more

You know you don’t get out of the house often when your kid comes home from school and frowns, confused, asking you why you got dressed today.

(True story.)

If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our lovely badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!


by 15 Comments

#SoCS – Yawning

You know what makes me yawn? Waiting rooms. Sure, it’s been better since the invention of e-books and e-book apps for phones–I always have a book to read now–but generally, sitting in a waiting room is the worst. Especially at the hospital, where it’s usually a loooong wait. I don’t think I’ve ever fallen asleep (or almost fallen asleep even) in a dentist waiting room. I’m too damned nervous there.

…aaaand, I just yawned.

How many other people who did this prompt yawned while they were writing their posts? I’m genuinely interested.

Because just thinking about it makes you do it.

I’ve noticed my dog yawns when he’s being bothered and is trying not to bite someone. It’s like he’s opening his mouth and showing his teeth without being menacing. I’ve never known a dog to do that before.

I’ve been tired all day. Which is weird, because I actually got eight hours of sleep last night.

Maybe I’ve just been thinking too much about this post all day.

I seriously have to come up with a more exciting topic next week.

SoCS badge by Pamela, at https://achronicalofhope.com/

This rather late post is brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click on the following link to read all the other posts and join in the fun! https://lindaghill.com/2019/02/15/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-feb-16-19/


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One-Liner Wednesday – Good or bad?

Nothing saves water better than a water heater that turns off after five minutes when you’re in the shower.

(Motivational poster made for free at canva.com.)


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#SoCS – Awkwardly

Verily, I say I really get myself into some messes. Like, I don’t think about what my own Saturday posts are going to look like. If you’re looking at this post and thinking, “Why the hell would I hire an editor who starts a sentence with an adverb … especially one like ‘verily,'” know that the prompt made me do it!

Yes, it’s my prompt.

I blame it on lack of coffee.

So, would you look at that! It’s Saturday already! The plan at this point is to take Alex to a movie today–either “The Kid Who Would Be King” or “A Dog’s Way Home.” I’m waiting for Alex to decide. I don’t particularly want to see either of them, but you do these sorts of things for your kids. Especially when they let you sleep in ’til 9:30. Aside from when they woke you up just to tell you they’re awake. It was still dark. I have no idea what time it was, but I told him to leave me alone and go downstairs, which he did.

Maybe he’ll sleep through the movie. I might too. We’ll have popcorn, so we’ll be sure to look “into it.”

At the moment I’m dying for my second cup of coffee. The dog is curled up in a ball on the loveseat beside me

and the kid is watching something that’s got him screaming and clapping. His laptop is turned the other way, so I don’t know what it is.

And me? I’m sitting here typing out whatever emerges from my under-caffeinated brain.

Awkwardly.

SoCS badge by Pamela, at https://achronicalofhope.com/

This thirsty post is brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click the link to find all the other awesome posts in the comment section, and join in! It’s fun! https://lindaghill.com/2019/02/08/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-feb-9-19/


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Day 2

Day 2 is much like Day 1, Day 1 being yesterday, the day of ice.

Except Day 2 doesn’t involve ice falling from the sky. Now, ice is on the ground. Still keeping Alex from going to school.

Alex, who is at the moment gleefully jumping up and down in unison with the contestants on “The Price is Right.” Screaming as if he was just called up onto the stage.

We took down the Christmas tree yesterday. It didn’t help. Cross superstition off the list of causes for this year’s luck.

In other news, my mother has been diagnosed with hypo delirium. She may recover. Good news, though: her lungs are better. So the pneumonia is gone.

Yet, I am stuck at home. Unable to visit the hospital. Unable to escape the screams, joyful as they are.


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One-Liner Wednesday – In Sync

Scenario:

My best friend, John, is standing at the front door waiting to drive my eldest son to work. Eldest son is putting his boots on. Second son is watching TV, reading aloud everything he sees, as he does.

Second son: Spongebob. Ninja Turtles. Reboot.

John and I almost at the same time: That’s what your brother is doing.

If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our lovely badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

#1linerWeds badge by Cheryl, at https://dreamingreality646941880.wordpress.com/

 


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The Road to Blogging

… is paved with good intentions.

It seems no matter how good my intentions this year, nothing seems to work out.

Case in point: today I spent a good two hours solid looking for a song they’ve been playing often on the radio to use for Bee’s Love Is In Da Blog prompt. I had the lyrics in my head, but stupidly, I decided to look for the name of the song–on Youtube, no less–rather than just Google the lyrics I had. By the end of the two hours, I couldn’t even remember the lyrics because I’d listened to so many songs that weren’t the one I was searching for.

So I put the radio on.

All day.

They didn’t play it.

Unless of course they did when I was visiting my mother in the hospital. Yes, she’s still there. I hoped to track down her doctor to find out the results of the CT scan she had done on her lungs on Sunday, to perhaps see why she’s getting worse instead of better.

No luck finding the doctor.

They told me to come back tomorrow morning.

Which isn’t likely going to happen.

Because we’re expecting freezing rain for 17 hours straight. Which means Alex won’t be going to school again. But hey, maybe instead of talking to the doctor and doing the work I was supposed to do, I can take down the Christmas tree.

That’s probably responsible for all the awesome luck I’m having this year.

Because superstition.

And if that doesn’t work and I don’t show up with the One-Liner Wednesday prompt, you’ll know the ice took down my power lines.

…

The road to blogging IS paved with good intentions, after all.


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#SoCS – Affirmative

Yes, I can affirm that today has been a challenging one with the child who is no longer a child but acts like one. I can state that unequivocally.

But is that the way the word “affirm” is really supposed to be used? An affirmation–the word affirmative–means yes. So to state something negative (like saying it’s been a bad day), would be a confirmation, wouldn’t it? Because, like, pros and cons. So is there such a thing as a proffirmation?

Gah! That makes my brain hurt.

Or is it a proclamation? Which would be the opposite of a conclamation. Haha.

I like making up words.

I do like affirming that I CAN do stuff. There are days when that’s easier than others. I can sometimes wake up in the morning and, for no apparent reason, feel like I can do anything.

Then there are days when I just want to throw in the towel because I can’t seem to do anything right.

And I have no idea why either of those things happen.

Except when I get a negative comment or review on my work and then I spend five minutes saying fuck it, I can’t write. What made me think I ever could?

I’m glad it only lasts five minutes. Most of the time.

So yeah, I’m hoping Alex will be able to go to school for a full week next week. I’m sure his behaviours are at least in part due to the fact that he’s getting bored staying home. I think he’s only been to school seven days so far this year.

But with this crazy weather …

Last week it was cold enough the balls off a snowman (the snowballs–get yer mind outta the gutter), and tomorrow we’re supposed to get freezing rain. Monday? Rain.

I may just take Alex to school on skates.

SoCS badge by Pamela, at https://achronicalofhope.com/

This very late, very random, very made-up post was brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click the following link to see how you, too, can join in the fun. And read the other participants’ posts while you’re there! You’ll find all the links in the comments. https://lindaghill.com/2019/02/01/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-feb-2-19/