Life in progress

Tag Archives: humour


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NanoPoblano Day 18 – …okay, not really. But there’s coffee!

Saying it’s been a rough couple of days is an understatement of mammoth proportions. But the time’s finally here: I’m packed (almost) and just about ready to wake up to a day of traveling. By this time tomorrow night I’ll be a little more than half-way across the Pacific Ocean on my way to sunny (or actually, according to the forecast probably rainy) Tokyo. I’ve mapped out my route from the train station to the hotel this time, so no more wandering the streets until my legs threaten to fall off.

Since I won’t be around for a while, I thought I’d post this tonight. It’s something you can all discuss amongst yourselves in the comments. The subject is coffee. Who doesn’t love coffee? (That’s not what I want to discuss, but if you have to… just try not to get into any fights, okay? Some of us are pretty passionate about our caffeinated beverages.)

What I’m really interested in is how you all go about ordering coffee. In Japan you ask for “kohi” (pronounced almost like coffee) but I was warned that if I don’t want something I can suspend a spoon in, I should always request an “American kohi.” So there’s that.

Last time I was in London, I ordered a coffee and they asked me if I wanted it “black” or “white.” … coffee’s black, right? So I ordered black. The look I got when I asked for cream could have backed up a parked truck. I was told off that I should have ordered it “white” in the first place. Lesson learned.

Here in Canada on the other hand, we ask more for what we want IN our coffee than we actually order coffee. If you walk into a Tim Horton’s and ask for a “double-double,” they’ll give you a cup of steamy deliciousness with two shots of cream and two spoonsfull of sugar. There’s no question that what you want is coffee – everyone wants coffee! Right? Right. Of course Starbucks is a different story altogether. No matter what country you’re in, if you don’t brush up on your Italian at the door you can expect a tutorial before you empty your wallet.

What about where you live? Or where you’ve traveled to? Talk about it with each other and I’ll read all your anecdotes the next time I go online… IN JAPAN!!

See you on the flipside!

NanoPoblano’s a blast even if you cheat – check it out!

nanopoblano2015dark


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NanoPoblano Day 11 – A Bucket of Sludge

If exhaustion was a bucket, mine would be filled with the sludge from the bottom of Loch Ness, where the monster has been pooping for centuries.

If exhaustion was Lego, mine would be a minefield on the floor between me and the bed and not a shoe in sight.

If exhaustion was light, mine would have the intensity of the sun. The sun four feet away from my living room window and me without my sunglasses.

If exhaustion was a beverage, mine would be lemon juice. A pure, squeezed, warm bottomless cup.

If exhaustion was a calculator, mine would be the internet. Google, in particular.

If exhaustion was a blog post, maybe this would actually make sense.

Did I mention I’m tired? I’ll catch up on all the one-liners and comments tomorrow. G’night, WordPress friends. 🙂

nanopoblano2015dark

This less-than-energetic post is brought to you by the good folks at NanoPoblano. Click and enjoy!


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Cat Pictures – #SoCS

Have you ever seen so many cat pictures in your life as you’ve seen since Facebook came into being?

What?

What?

Of course not. They seem to be the world’s favourite animal now. When I was growing up I loved horses; I still do, I suppose. But they’re not all I think about the way I did before I had kids. I suppose my kids are my new horses… Yeah, stream of consciousness.

I still notice many little girls are saying horses are their favourite animal. But let’s face it, horses are something you’ve got to get off Facebook to spend time with, unlike cats. Horses don’t sit on your keyboard when you’re trying to type, so that’s a plus. And you can’t ride a cat. At least not a house cat. You could ride a lion, and you’d have something to hold onto. A mane. Hey, horses have manes. Did you know horses and cats have something in common? They both lay their ears back when they’re mad. They’ll both bite when you get them upset enough… but horses don’t scratch. They both need their nails trimmed though.

This is getting out of hand. Catapult me outta here.

This post is part of Stream of Consciousness Saturday. You can join in too!

SoCS badge 2015


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NanoPoblano Day 6 – It’s not just for kicks!

It’s a bit of a no-brainer – we all need the internet. Right? I mean, it’s a basic necessity, right there near the bottom of the pyramid that is Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. So what if we’re in Japan and, say, our WiFi doesn’t work in our hotel room? This was my Japanese lesson for today, so it will also be yours.

WiFi o shigoto o shimasen* (Wifi o shee-go-to o shee-mass-en) -keep in mind the “o” is always long.

Translation: Wifi doesn’t work. This phrase will obviously be accompanied by much red-faced hair-pulling jumping up and down, whilst gently cradling your laptop in one arm. I’ll leave you for a while to picture this…

…
…

So as I was saying, if such a thing occurs, and you manage to get your point across, chances are the person manning the front desk (assuming they don’t call the police on the crazy lady/man with the portable computer) will hand you your very own modem to plug in in your room, giving you the best WiFi you’ve probably ever experienced.

Conclusion: This phrase is definitely worth learning.

*I’m learning Japanese – if this is wrong PLEASE let me know. I don’t want to pull my hair out (or worse) for nothing.

nanopoblano2015dark

This essential post has been brought to you in conjunction with Nano Poblano. Try it, for a healthy diet!


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NanoPoblano Day 5 – It’s not Alaska

It’s the fifth day of the nifty challenge, Nano Poblano, and we’re back on track with our next Japanese lesson. Today there will be greetings. But not just any greetings; today we will practice saying “Good morning.” Translated: “Ohayou gozaimasu.”

I’m going to do this kind of like one would play charades, in that we’ll start with the second word, only because I’m not sure quite what it means but it keeps showing up in polite conversation. “Gozaimasu” (go-za-i-mass) is also stuck on the end of “Thank you very much,” so it’s gotta be important, right? So with that out of the way…

The first word in the Japanese phrase for “Good morning” is “Ohayou” (o-ha-yo). It’s pronounced like “Ohio” in the good old U. S. of A. Ohayou gozaimasu is used obviously before lunchtime and can be uttered to anyone you wish to be friendly with or just in passing on the street.

Conclusion: if you can leave off the aforementioned politeness factor, all you have to do is remember which state you need to state, and you’re laughing. Note: I had actually thought of saying “Cincinnati” to people in the morning, but they may not get the joke.

nanopoblano2015dark

This farcical yet incredibly factual post is brought to you by Nano Poblano.


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NanoPoblano Day 4 – Day of Failure

Blogger’s guilt. This should be a thing. A recognized condition to describe how we writers in blogland feel when we want to write something but we just can’t.

Take, for instance, the matter of theme. This can range from the entire basis for which our sites exist, or it can be as small as something we decided in a fit of inspiration that our Nano Poblano challenge would revolve around. Yes, you guessed it. Today I fail. There will be no Japanese lesson today. I simply haven’t the heart, the brain, nor various other body parts for it. It’s been a rough day, full of doctor’s appointments at which I folded in the face of a red-eyed frightened child who didn’t want to get his flu shot, and a car parked in a parking lot miles from home, causing me to have to walk with the aforementioned child.

But tomorrow will be better! Perhaps we’ll talk about the joys of ordering coffee, not only in Japan but worldwide! Or maybe I’ll expound on the treat that is saying “I’m sorry.” Stay tuned! It’ll be fun! As everything should be when your life is in progress. Right?

Right?

Right.

nanopoblano2015dark

This strange confession/cheerleading session is brought to you by NanoPoblano. Find all the links here!


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One-Liner Wednesday – Goosebums

Every time I go down to the lake for a walk, I end up with goosebums.

CAM01000

Geese

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…diving for food

 

 

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Anyone who would like to try it out, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Have fun!


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NanoPoblano Day 3 – Where am I?

Getting lost in Japan, as you know if you’ve been reading this blog for a while, is one of my favourite things to do. Knowing this even before I went there last December, I learned what I thought was a helpful phrase:

Koko desu ka? (ko-ko dess ka)

Where am I? Or, directly translated, means “where is here?” Since it is assumed when speaking in Japanese that you’re speaking about yourself, the “I” is not necessary. Makes sense so far, right? HA! I have had more strange looks asking this question than I got that time I told someone “I have woman” in French.* Ask a Japanese person “Koko desu ka?” and you will invariably be blessed with a facial expression that says, “Is this a trick question?” Perhaps it’s because people there don’t walk around carrying maps, though I seriously doubt it considering how difficult it is to find anything. Actually, the Japanese love maps. Probably because they can’t find anything.

Conclusion: Carry a GPS.

*In French, if you’re hungry, you say “J’ai faim” which directly translated means “I have hunger.” If you pronounce the word “faim” as “femme,” which means “woman,” people will look in your backpack.

Nano Poblano is fun! Check out some more posts at Rarasaur’s blog!


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NanoPoblano Day 2 – Gotta go!!

Today’s Japanese lesson involves something that affects all of humankind. Nay, all animated being-kind. It is a need unsurpassed since the dawn of time. No, not coffee. Though coffee is essential! Don’t get me wrong.

No, this requirement outweighs all other requirements.  From mere brewing to utter urgency, it is a force to be reckoned with. It is… the need to go to the toilet. And it is a must to learn in any language native to where you’re traveling. So let us consider the phrase in Japanese, “Where is the washroom?”

Say it with me:

O-tearai wa, doko desu ka?

Directly translated it means, “The toilet, where is it?” As you can see, the word for toilet has a lot of vowels in it. In Japanese, we pronounce each one individually. So, “O” always sounds like an O in the alphabet; “te” has a soft “e” sound, as does “a,” and “i” always sounds like “ee.” I give you: O-te-a-ra-ee. Try it. Try it again. Now imagine you’re bursting at the seams and try it again. It makes the rest; “do-ko dess ka” seem like a leisurely stroll in the park, doesn’t it?

Conclusion – cross your legs and eyes and whine. Someone will point you in the right direction. It’s a human thing, after all.

 

 nanopoblano2015dark

This post has been part of Nano Poblano, found here: https://rarasaur.wordpress.com/nanopoblano-2015/#comment-53592 You can also type “Nanopoblano” into the search tabs in your reader to read more entries.


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One-Liner Wednesday – It’s a faux pas

Ha!

From Q107 Toronto on Facebook

From Q107 Toronto on Facebook

“I hate when people think they can just waltz into my room when what I’m listening to is clearly in 4/4.”

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Anyone who would like to try it out, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Have fun!