Life in progress

Tag Archives: humour


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The Push

I sometimes wonder why I push myself so hard. My determination to write a post every day here on WordPress; my aspiration to finish my novel; my involvement in The Community Storyboard, HarsH ReaLiTy, and A Good Blog is Hard to Find; my ambition to read more, and write book reviews; my wish to help out friends by critiquing their unpublished works… the list itself is overwhelming. Most days I barely notice the work piling up. I love being busy with writing and the pursuits that involve it.

But, Spring Break. Yes, it’s that time of year again. While I’ve had much of today to do the things I needed to get done, I know it’s only a matter of time before Alex gets bored keeping himself busy. And just because the kids are home doesn’t mean the shopping doesn’t still need to be done – a task which requires me to leave my Autistic son by himself – and my paper route, and then there’s my mother’s appointments because I’m the only one who can take her… again, overwhelming.

I think everyone gets to this point occasionally. It’s the stage where we just have to start saying no, and not give in. While it’s exciting, and best of all not boring, there’s a limit at which one shuts down and curls up in a little ball with a straw and a bottle of one’s favourite Merlot.

So if I up and disappear at some point this week you’ll know why. And if I do manage to keep it all together AND keep my blog going without consuming a bottle of wine per day, well, give me a cape and call me supermom.

Just don’t push me off the side of a building to see if I’ll fly. I push myself too hard already.


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The Very Best Blog Post Ever

Have you ever felt so full of inspiration and ideas that you thought if you could just have a moment of peace and quiet you could write the best blog post that’s ever been written? Just five hundred words which beams of sunshine would radiate upon, and people all over the world would stand up, with their arms raised and exclaim YES! Choirs of children would sing and violins and harps would play and bears and fish would hold hands and never would there be a moment of strife in the universe ever again!

Yep, me too.

Facebook photo

Facebook photo


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Creativity

How can we all be more creative? How can we be inspired?

I came across this really great Youtube video today. It’s John Cleese, talking about where our creativity comes from and, not surprisingly, humour.

I can’t stress how fantastic this video is. If you’ve ever been stuck on what to write and how to go about finding the tools within yourself to spark your creativity, you MUST watch this.


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Giggling Bob – The Story of a Possessed Toy

For sale: One laughing ball

No, that’s not right. But I don’t know the actual name of the toy. Was it a “Laughing Bob”? The label is long worn off.

For sale: One Giggling Bob ball. Good for ages 1-4.

That’ll do. Sure, I feel bad selling it off to someone else. But I don’t know how else to get rid of it.

When I first bought it for the kids – I’m sure it worked fine in the store – I got it home and I couldn’t get it to work. According to the instructions, all you had to do was bang it and it was supposed to giggle. The kids loved the crazy high pitched laugh. I figured it would drive me nuts, but what the hell. Anything for the kids, right?

I tried changing the batteries. Nothing. Banged the hell out of it… no laughing (or giggling) Bob.

The first time I heard it go off, about a week later, it was 3:14 am. I got up to see if the kids had wandered out of bed, but they were fast asleep. And there was this stupid ball, laying in the middle of the living room floor. I just shook my head and went back to bed.

Next morning I kicked it. It didn’t make a sound. Maybe I dreamed it, I thought. Ha!

About a month after that, we were packing to move. One of the kids threw the ball into a box. I said we should just toss it in the garbage, but the kids liked it. They’d been using it to play catch, even though it wouldn’t make a sound. I said fine.

3:14 the next morning… Yeah. Giggling Bob was at it again. This time I got up and threw it in a garbage bag.

Garbage day was four days later.

Have you ever taken the trash to the curb and had it laugh at you? I’d have tossed it with no problem, except the kids (who I was taking to the bus stop at the time) caught me red-handed. Since the toy was in a trash bag with a pile of carpeting, and not with anything disgusting, back Giggling Bob went into the house.

Well, moving day came and went. Giggling Bob made it into a random box that, four years later remains unpacked. And I swear to God, if I am woken up at 3:14 again…

One Giggling Bob ball. Good for ages 1-4. Free to a good home.

That’s better.

Note: This story is semi-fictional, only in that I haven’t tried to sell the possessed ball yet. Yet.


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whereswilly.com – The $20 Blog Post

“Do you have change for a twenty?”

That’s how it started – with those words.

“I think so,” I replied, juggling gloves and newspapers to dig into my pocket. I pulled out a couple of receipts and a five dollar bill and then went into the other pocket. Just as I was about to give up, I found a ten.

“Yes!” I exclaimed.

All right, maybe I wasn’t quite that excited. I was just collecting for my paper route after all.

It was while I was walking back down my customer’s driveway, my gloves still tucked under my arm, that I saw the writing on the $20 bill.

“Yes!” I exclaimed, for real this time. “It’s a blog post!”

This is what I saw.

whereswilly

I couldn’t wait to get home to check it out.

When I googled whereswilly, I saw a Wikipedia entry for it, so I decided to go there first — in case it was some kind of hacking thing. It turns out it wasn’t.

According to Wiki, the “Willy” refers to Sir Wilfred Laurier, past Prime Minister of Canada. There are apparently close to 4,000,000 bills in circulation with this message, and you can, in fact, register on the website to see where the bill has been AND be emailed to find out where it goes. It’s based on a “Where’s George” site in the U.S., to track currency there, and has been used by researchers to track the movement of pandemics, such as SARS.

Isn’t that interesting?

I’m only the second person who has tracked this particular $20, but I’m looking forward to seeing where it goes. According to the website, I can do this with any bill, any time.

You can check out the Wiki page here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Where%27s_Willy%3F

Have you heard of this before? Have you ever come across a bill with a website written on it? Do you want to start one? It’s so cool!


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The Ice is Laughing at Me

First it was the ice storm. Remember that? Back in December, just before Christmas I slipped on the ice and hit my head on a concrete step. Result: concussion. Thank goodness I had the lovely villainous Navigator1965 to cover for me.

Then there were the frost quakes. They were fun.

And let’s not forget the icicles, that led to the destruction of my eavestroughs.

And now? To add insult to injury, the ice is laughing at me:
CAM00236

Can you see the big grin? Just in case, I drew eyebrows, eyes, a mustache and a goatee on him:

laughing

Have I mentioned lately that I’m sick of winter?


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Not Listening

somebody

For all you parents out there who think their young kids take advantage, consider this:

A Deaf child who doesn’t want to go to bed, really can act like he’s not listening if he refuses to look at you…


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Stream of Consciousness Saturday Fe22/14

The wind blows where ever it wants to blow. It’s warming up outside and so the gusts are fierce. It’s days like today when branches weakened from the weight of snow and ice come down on roofs and cars (two things I’ve been having problems with of late). Times like this I listen to the creaking of the trees around my house and I want to say to the wind:

Wind, dude, stop blowin’ already. Get outta my trees. C’mon man. Ye’r makin’ me nervous, dude.

But you can’t reason with the wind. It blows where ever it wants.

Like ice. It forms when it snows, and then the snow melts and the water sits there until it freezes into sheets of slippery pavement that have me flailing as I deliver my newspapers. Like the wind, I want to say to the ice:

Ice! Stop being so damn slippery!

But you can’t reason with the ice. It keeps on being slick. So much so that I thought this morning, as I slid around the block not moving my feet because the wind was blowing me on this ice, maybe this combo ain’t so bad after all.

Dude.


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Shhh! Don’t Tell My Mom

The last thing I want to do is worry my mother, so I’m keeping this quiet. I can tell all of you though, because she doesn’t read my blog.

I think her car is trying to kill me.

I went out in it today to pick up some groceries, for myself as well as for her. As I came up to a stop sign I put my foot on the brake and the engine started to rev. The more I pushed the brake, the faster the engine went – and the faster the car went. Luckily there was nothing coming (and there were no cops around) because I blasted through that stop sign.

Since then I’ve started putting it into neutral when I want to stop. That’ll teach it.

But in the meantime, would someone please tell it I was only going to buy her cookies?


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Newspapers Hire Editors

Apparently the editors at the newspaper I deliver have a head-start on the holiday. They’re already drunk.

drunk editors

(click to enlarge)

 

P.S. Family Day is Monday February 17th.