Life in progress

Tag Archives: life


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The Push

I sometimes wonder why I push myself so hard. My determination to write a post every day here on WordPress; my aspiration to finish my novel; my involvement in The Community Storyboard, HarsH ReaLiTy, and A Good Blog is Hard to Find; my ambition to read more, and write book reviews; my wish to help out friends by critiquing their unpublished works… the list itself is overwhelming. Most days I barely notice the work piling up. I love being busy with writing and the pursuits that involve it.

But, Spring Break. Yes, it’s that time of year again. While I’ve had much of today to do the things I needed to get done, I know it’s only a matter of time before Alex gets bored keeping himself busy. And just because the kids are home doesn’t mean the shopping doesn’t still need to be done – a task which requires me to leave my Autistic son by himself – and my paper route, and then there’s my mother’s appointments because I’m the only one who can take her… again, overwhelming.

I think everyone gets to this point occasionally. It’s the stage where we just have to start saying no, and not give in. While it’s exciting, and best of all not boring, there’s a limit at which one shuts down and curls up in a little ball with a straw and a bottle of one’s favourite Merlot.

So if I up and disappear at some point this week you’ll know why. And if I do manage to keep it all together AND keep my blog going without consuming a bottle of wine per day, well, give me a cape and call me supermom.

Just don’t push me off the side of a building to see if I’ll fly. I push myself too hard already.


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Possessions

I’ve never been one to have much affection for the things I own. Apart from old photos, I have very few things that can’t be replaced – and if I took the time to scan all those photos I could add those to the list of replaceable items as well. Yes, my laptop is valuable, but only inasmuch as what is on its hard drive. If I lost it but was able to retrieve everything off it, meh. I could buy another.

There is one thing however that I can’t replace. It’s the one thing that, if someone asked me, “If your house was on fire, what, other than your family would you save?” that would be it. It’s a CD. It’s not the music on it, nor is it the case which makes it my most prized possession. In the cover booklet there is a signature by the artist, that reads, “To Linda, with love…”

And I’ve misplaced it: the whole CD, case and booklet.

I’ve spent much of a very frustrating day searching, to no avail. Whilst doing so, I’ve tried convincing myself that it doesn’t matter if, somehow, it ended up in a bag that was put out for garbage without proper inspection. After all, I still have the memories of the event which led up to my having it autographed. That I went all the way to Japan, to a concert–never met the artist, but my booklet did–and came back home with this coveted piece of memorabilia in my hot little hands.

After all, what really matters? It’s only a piece of paper, albeit one that I’ll mourn the loss of, if it never turns up. But I can always hold the memory close to my heart.

I’ll keep trying to convince myself, anyway.


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Soul

What does a soul weigh?

What are the tiny particles that make up our art, our way of putting words together–our music?

Are the objects to our eyes which are beautiful to be counted in the heft of our being?

When we die, are we but shells? That which we were only in flesh and bone and sinew?

How do we measure what pleases us; what makes us laugh and cry?

Does all that disappear? Or can it be counted?

Is there a number which can represent all that we are?

What does our soul weigh?

It is infinite.

DSC00010


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Writing, But Not Writing

You have to love it when your utility company sends the most gorgeous man on the planet over to your house to upgrade your internet speed. Needless to say, as my day has progressed it has gotten better.

I’m currently procrastinating over picking up my manuscript. Oohh, a muffin!

Despite what I said yesterday – wait, was it yesterday? I’ll go check. No, it was Thursday, in this blog post. Anyway, despite what I said in Thursday’s post, procrastinating when it means completely putting off something is detrimental. Allowing my mind to wander whilst doing something mindless, as a break from hard work is nothing like what I’m doing now.

It brings to mind an excellent article that my new blogging friend, Angie, shared with me in my comments. In it, she cites the well proven fact that sometimes we procrastinate for fear of failure. What if we finish what we’re doing (such as writing a manuscript) just to have it rejected? It’s silly, really, to think that way. Why begin something in the first place if you’re never going to finish it?

I wrote the novel I’m editing as a NaNoWriMo project in 2011. When I started it, I was writing it for myself. I needed a distraction from the chaos that was my life at the time. Had I not written it, I probably wouldn’t be here right now – I’m sure I’d be in a padded cell, plucking my arm hairs out one at a time and tying them into the rope which would become my escape – one way or another. By the time I finished my manuscript, I knew I wanted to share it with the world. And so, editing began… and continues. It’s a huge project and is going to take many more hours of work before I’ll even allow it into the hands of beta readers.

So why am I typing a WordPress post instead of working on the manuscript I can’t wait to get out? I’m up for suggestions.

You can find Angie’s article here: http://familyanswersfast.wordpress.com/tag/procrastination/ Fascinating stuff.

Off to work. Really. And I’m not going to stare off into space and think about that telephone installation guy AT ALL.


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SoCS (Stream of Consciousness Saturday) – An Amount

When one has nothing to write, where does one start? Is it with a single word? Or a sentence?

I like to start with a statement, or a question. Once I have that first sentence however, I can either fly like an eagle or sink like a stone, the latter of which I feel as though I’m doing now. But I’ll plow on, because this whole SoCS thing was my idea to start with, and so I’d better show the world that it CAN be done, even when I’m not in the mood to write.

It’s 10am on the Saturday of my day off and the day is already screwed up. The person who delivers the newspaper to me, so I can take them to the individual houses of the people who subscribe to them only showed up this morning with half my papers. They’re supposed to be delivered to the customer by 9am. So I got up from my potential lovely lay-in for nothing. It’s freezing drizzle outside right now, I haven’t had a coffee yet and I have to stay in all afternoon to wait for my internet service provider to come over to fix something (proactively) that’s not broken. Hopefully I’ll get some editing done in there.

So now that I’ve spent my Saturday bitching about my Saturday. I think I’ll end there, put a cap on this, and say, what a waste of blank screen this was.

Can’t win ’em all I guess. At least I wrote something, right?

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Please join in! To see the prompt for this week for “Stream of Consciousness Saturday” click here: https://lindaghill.wordpress.com/2014/03/07/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-march-814/

The rules:

1. Your post must be stream of consciousness writing, meaning no editing, (typos can be fixed) and minimal planning on what you’re going to write.

2. Your post can be as long or as short as you want it to be. One sentence – one thousand words. Fact, fiction, poetry – it doesn’t matter. Just let the words carry you along until you’re ready to stop.

3. There will be a prompt every week. I will post the prompt here on my blog on Friday, along with a reminder for you to join in. The prompt will be one random thing, but it will not be a subject. For instance, I will not say “Write about dogs”; the prompt will be more like, “Make your first sentence a question,” or “Begin with the word ‘The’.”

4. Ping back! It’s important, so that I and other people will come and read your post! The way to ping back, is to just copy and paste the URL of my post somewhere on your post. Then your URL will show up in my comments, for everyone to see. For example, in your post you can copy and past the following: “This post is part of SoCS: (https://lindaghill.wordpress.com/2014/03/01/socs-stream-of-consiousness-saturday-the-rules/)” Also, you can come here and link your post in the comments. The most recent comments will be found at the top.

5. Read at least one other person’s blog who has pinged back their post. If you’re the first person to ping back, you can check back later, or go to the previous week, by following my category, “Stream of Consciousness Saturday,” which you’ll find right below the “Like” button on my post.

6. Copy and paste the rules (if you’d like to) in your post. The more people who join in, the more new bloggers you’ll meet and the bigger your community will get!

7. Have fun!


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Preservation

Winter is being such a bitch this year, particularly on my roof. Granted there are many people in the neighbourhood who have it worse: it seems on every street there are houses missing so much of their eavestroughs that I can see their rafters from the street. And trust me, no one wants their rafters showing.

In an effort to not be one of them, I’ve tried a couple of different methods to relieve my roof of the eight inches of ice that is threatening to pull down what’s left of my eavestroughs. Chipping at it didn’t work – it’s far too solid. So I figured, why not throw some salt up there? As soon as we have a nice day, maybe it’ll melt from the top rather than the bottom as it has done for the past couple of weeks, causing the residual water to come in around my window frames – inside the house.

The salt, however, seems to be rather picky when it comes to the roof. It melts the ice just fine on the sidewalk.

After putting almost a full ten pounds of salt on my roof, what do I have?

This, first of all:

:weird 3\

It would seem the salt has created some interesting formations out of my icicles.

What else?

Everything dripping off my roof is crystalised. I have white splattered all over my exterior walls, I have white steps at the front of my house, and best of all, I have a saltwater cascade dripping down my windows and onto my hardwood floors. And still, I have eight inches of ice on my roof.

The good news? The mold that I’m positive is growing on the other side of my drywall will be well preserved.


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Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS) Start with a Verb

Kicking and screaming is how they’re going to have to pry my cell phone out of my cold dead hand.

Okay, not really. But seriously, I’m not sure I could live without my cell phone. But it’s not only me, either.

Consider this: When I was young (a teenager) I used to go out with my friends. (Of course.) I’d have a curfew and my mother would be sitting in the kitchen waiting for me to come home. She made sure I had a dime in case I needed to call. I’m sure she must have sat by the phone as well.

Now (these days), when my son went out (he’s moved out now) I’d not have to sit by the phone – it would be in my pocket. He didn’t need a dime – he had a cell. I knew that at any given moment he could call me without needing to look for a payphone.

How did our parents survive back then? I’d be worried poo-less!

I can’t imagine having to go through all that waiting, and wondering, and worrying about my kids. I don’t worry as much about my own safety now either.

I suppose it prepared my mother for when I went to Japan by myself – I didn’t have a cell phone then. But in Japan I felt very safe.

Anyway, I’m starting to ramble. That’s what SoCS is all about though.

What do you think? Could you live without a cell phone? Would you let your kids out of the house at night without one?

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See the rules of Stream of Consciousness Saturday here: https://lindaghill.wordpress.com/2014/03/01/socs-stream-of-consiousness-saturday-the-rules/ and come and join in the fun!! 😀


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Ahhhh

My day is winding down; I have just enough wine in me that I’m not sleepy. Contentedness folds over me like a warm blanket.

The sound is down on Mickey Mouse, because my son is Deaf–gone are the days of having to listen to a certain purple dinosaur, for whom I feel absolutely no love, and who I suspect doesn’t love me either. There are walls and windows between myself and my family, and the frigid winter air. My tummy is full of a simple dinner of pasta and canned tomatoes, with mozzerella cheese melted on top… What more could I ask for?

I love nights like this. It’s like comfort food for an exhausted soul.

Tell me, what is your perfect evening with family?


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Giggling Bob – The Story of a Possessed Toy

For sale: One laughing ball

No, that’s not right. But I don’t know the actual name of the toy. Was it a “Laughing Bob”? The label is long worn off.

For sale: One Giggling Bob ball. Good for ages 1-4.

That’ll do. Sure, I feel bad selling it off to someone else. But I don’t know how else to get rid of it.

When I first bought it for the kids – I’m sure it worked fine in the store – I got it home and I couldn’t get it to work. According to the instructions, all you had to do was bang it and it was supposed to giggle. The kids loved the crazy high pitched laugh. I figured it would drive me nuts, but what the hell. Anything for the kids, right?

I tried changing the batteries. Nothing. Banged the hell out of it… no laughing (or giggling) Bob.

The first time I heard it go off, about a week later, it was 3:14 am. I got up to see if the kids had wandered out of bed, but they were fast asleep. And there was this stupid ball, laying in the middle of the living room floor. I just shook my head and went back to bed.

Next morning I kicked it. It didn’t make a sound. Maybe I dreamed it, I thought. Ha!

About a month after that, we were packing to move. One of the kids threw the ball into a box. I said we should just toss it in the garbage, but the kids liked it. They’d been using it to play catch, even though it wouldn’t make a sound. I said fine.

3:14 the next morning… Yeah. Giggling Bob was at it again. This time I got up and threw it in a garbage bag.

Garbage day was four days later.

Have you ever taken the trash to the curb and had it laugh at you? I’d have tossed it with no problem, except the kids (who I was taking to the bus stop at the time) caught me red-handed. Since the toy was in a trash bag with a pile of carpeting, and not with anything disgusting, back Giggling Bob went into the house.

Well, moving day came and went. Giggling Bob made it into a random box that, four years later remains unpacked. And I swear to God, if I am woken up at 3:14 again…

One Giggling Bob ball. Good for ages 1-4. Free to a good home.

That’s better.

Note: This story is semi-fictional, only in that I haven’t tried to sell the possessed ball yet. Yet.


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whereswilly.com – The $20 Blog Post

“Do you have change for a twenty?”

That’s how it started – with those words.

“I think so,” I replied, juggling gloves and newspapers to dig into my pocket. I pulled out a couple of receipts and a five dollar bill and then went into the other pocket. Just as I was about to give up, I found a ten.

“Yes!” I exclaimed.

All right, maybe I wasn’t quite that excited. I was just collecting for my paper route after all.

It was while I was walking back down my customer’s driveway, my gloves still tucked under my arm, that I saw the writing on the $20 bill.

“Yes!” I exclaimed, for real this time. “It’s a blog post!”

This is what I saw.

whereswilly

I couldn’t wait to get home to check it out.

When I googled whereswilly, I saw a Wikipedia entry for it, so I decided to go there first — in case it was some kind of hacking thing. It turns out it wasn’t.

According to Wiki, the “Willy” refers to Sir Wilfred Laurier, past Prime Minister of Canada. There are apparently close to 4,000,000 bills in circulation with this message, and you can, in fact, register on the website to see where the bill has been AND be emailed to find out where it goes. It’s based on a “Where’s George” site in the U.S., to track currency there, and has been used by researchers to track the movement of pandemics, such as SARS.

Isn’t that interesting?

I’m only the second person who has tracked this particular $20, but I’m looking forward to seeing where it goes. According to the website, I can do this with any bill, any time.

You can check out the Wiki page here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Where%27s_Willy%3F

Have you heard of this before? Have you ever come across a bill with a website written on it? Do you want to start one? It’s so cool!