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341. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Tuesday, August 7th, 5:00 7:00pm
Maurice (and Stuart)

 

Maurice sits at the window. Stuart takes the seat beside him.

Maurice: Hey, buddy! Long time no see!

Stuart: Yep. Been out of town for a while. Lost my apartment after I lost my job.

Maurice: Oh no! How did that happen?

Stuart: Damned cat.

Maurice: The cat made you lose your job and your apartment?

Stuart: Yep. It got this really weird skin rash. I spent a week looking after it because the old lady I lived with was allergic to the cream it needed rubbed on its skin.

Maurice: So you lost your job ’cause you took a week off?

Stuart: Yep.

Maurice: And I guess then you couldn’t afford the apartment.

Stuart: Oh, no. I could still afford it. But the old lady discovered that breed of cats that don’t have hair and decided the original cat got its skin disease because it was lonely. Twenty-six of the little buggers later, there was no room left for me.

Maurice: How is the old lady affording the place by herself?

Stuart: She taught the cats a bunch of tricks. She’s got a circus going in the living room. Charges a bundle to let people watch.

Maurice: Sounds like living with that old lady’s always been a bit of a circus.

Stuart: You got that right.

 

Next stop: Wednesday, August 8th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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216. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Wednesday, April 4th, 4:00 7:00pm

Maurice (and Stuart)

 

(Maurice sits at the window. Stuart takes the seat beside him.)

Maurice: Well, hello there.

Stuart: Don’t ask.

Maurice: Okay then.

Stuart: Okay, fine. I’m late because of a power outage.

Maurice: That’s understandable. At least it didn’t have anything to do with the cat this time.

Stuart: You would think so, wouldn’t you.

Maurice: But … you sent the cat to the pound.

Stuart: The cat came back.

Maurice: The very next day?

Stuart: Yep. The old lady went and picked it up.

Maurice: How did she know where it was?

Stuart: She says it sent for her in a dream. That the cat’s her familiar or something.

Maurice: Wow. So how did the cat have anything to do with the power outage?

Stuart: (shakes his head) You’re going to think this is crazy.

Maurice: Try me.

Stuart: The old lady says the cat conjured the wind storm that felled the tree branch that knocked out the power. And get this: all because it wanted me to talk about it.

Maurice: You’re right. That’s crazy. …wait, you don’t believe it, do you?

Stuart: Have you got a better explanation for this weather?

Maurice: Nope.

Stuart: There you go then.

 

Next stop: Thursday, April 5th, 4:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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182. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Thursday, March 1st, 4:00pm 6:00pm
Maurice and Stuart

 

Maurice sits at the window. Stuart takes the seat beside him.

Maurice: Hey there, buddy. You know, this being late thing is going to get you in trouble.

Stuart: Yeah, I know. But I’ve got a good excuse this time.

Maurice: Oh yeah?

Stuart: Yep. The apartment got flooded.

Maurice: Oh no. Did you lose a lot of stuff?

Stuart: Not only that, the old lady I live with almost drowned, trying to save the dog.

Maurice: Can’t the dog swim?

Stuart: Yeah, but the dog was trying to save the cat.

Maurice: That was decent of him.

Stuart: You’d think so. But it was the damned cat’s fault that the flood happened in the first place. It somehow managed to get under the sink and it chewed right through one of those flexible pipes.

Maurice: Oh man. So how is everyone now?

Stuart: Old lady’s at the hospital, dog’s at the vet, and the cat … (Stuart opens is jacket and a bald head pokes out)

Maurice: Oh my God, that thing is ugly! You can’t take that to work.

Stuart: I’m not. I’m taking it to the pound.

Maurice: Probably for the best.

 

Next stop: Friday, March 2nd, 7:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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176. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Friday, February 23rd, 7:00 10:10pm
Maurice and Stuart

 

Maurice sits at the window. Stuart takes the seat beside him.

Maurice: Hey! What happened to you? You’re really late tonight.

Stuart: (nods) You remember that old lady who lives with me?

Maurice: Yeah. Is she okay?

Stuart: Oh yeah. We got into a rousing game of Monopoly.

Maurice: I don’t think I’ve ever heard the words “rousing” and “Monopoly” used in the same sentence before.

Stuart: You haven’t met this lady. It all came down to her having hotels on Park Place and Boardwalk, and me with hotels on everything else, and she still won.

Maurice: Wow. The odds are incredible.

Stuart: Not really. Just as I was about to win, the dog and the cat flew across the board, chasing each other, and we lost everything. Had to start over again.

Maurice: Seriously? You must have already been playing for a while if you had all those properties. No wonder you’re late.

Stuart: Oh, no. That’s not why I’m late. The cat got out as I was walking out the door. I had to chase it around the neighbourhood.

Maurice: Oh man. How did you catch it?

Stuart: It got wet.

Maurice: Outside? In this weather?

Stuart: Kid saw me chasing it and squirted the thing with a squirt gun, thinking it was a rat.

Maurice: That’s right. It’s bald on account of the old lady’s allergies. But that doesn’t explain how you caught it.

Stuart: Sure it does. It brushed up against a fence post and got stuck. I’ve spent the last two hours figuring out how to heat up a fence post to get the cat off it.

Maurice: (looking confused) So, how does that have anything to do with the Monopoly game?

Stuart: (shrugs) It doesn’t.

 

Next stop: Saturday, February 24th, 7:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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159. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Tuesday, February 6th, 3:00 2:00pm
Maurice and Stuart

 

(Stuart sits at the window. Maurice takes the seat beside him.)

Maurice: Hey! You’re early for once.

Stuart: Yep. Gotta go buy a new rug before work.

Maurice: Cat peed on it one too many times?

Stuart: Nope. Dog bled all over it.

Maurice: You’ve got a dog now?

Stuart: Not only that. You remember the old lady whose dog I accidentally killed?

Maurice: The one whose next dog ran away, and who’s deathly allergic to cats?

Stuart: That’s right. She’s living with me now too.

Maurice: But … why? And how is she living with you if you’ve got a cat?

Stuart: As for why, she spent so long in the hospital that she missed paying her rent and got kicked out. So I offered to take her in.

Maurice: And the cat?

Stuart: Shaved it.

Maurice: The cat mustn’t have enjoyed that.

Stuart: Nope. It looks like a giant bald squirrel.

Maurice: So what happened to the dog? You said it bled all over your rug.

Stuart: Well yeah. The dog took one look at the cat after we shaved it and thought it was a squirrel. Dog tried to eat the cat, cat scratched the dog.

Maurice: Wow. That must have been one hell of a scratch to make the dog bleed like that.

Stuart: Well, yeah. Because we shaved the dog too.

Maurice: The old lady’s not allergic to dogs though. She had one before.

Stuart: Nope. I am.

Maurice: The two of you are a match made in heaven.

 

Next stop: Wednesday, February 7th, 7:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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89. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Tuesday, November 28th, 6:00pm 10:00pm
Stuart (and Maurice)

 

Stuart sits at the window. Maurice takes the seat beside him.

Maurice: Fancy meeting you here!

Stuart: (shakes his head) I’m lucky to be here, I tell you.

Maurice: Oh oh. What’s up?

Stuart: Well, I was supposed to have caught the six o’clock today, but I slept in.

Maurice: All the way to six in the evening?

Stuart: (nods) Uh huh. Had one wicked headache this afternoon, so I went to lay down. Then I started having this nightmare. I couldn’t breathe!

Maurice: It was only a nightmare though, right?

Stuart: Nope. Damned cat was laying on my face. So I pushed it off, as you do, and it mustn’t have liked that very much.

Maurice: No?

Stuart: Nuh uh. It jumped out in front of me as I was walking to the bathroom, I fell over: cracked my head on the door jam.

Maurice: No way!

Stuart: Yep. Just woke up.

Maurice: Wait, didn’t you say you slept in?

Stuart: Yep. Cat peed on the rug again. Slept in cat piss for oh (looks at watch) a good couple hours.

 

 

Next stop: Wednesday, November 29th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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84. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Thursday, November 23rd, 5:00pm 9:00pm
Maurice (and Stuart)

 

Maurice sits at the window. Stuart takes the seat beside him.

Maurice: Finally! What the hell happened to you?

Stuart: Oh man, you wouldn’t believe the day I’ve had. First, I missed the five o’clock bus, then I was running to catch a cab and I tripped and landed on top of this old woman walking her dog.

Maurice: My God! Is the woman okay?

Stuart: Yeah, but it was her dog leash I tripped over. Strangled the poor thing half to death. So then I felt so bad, I had to take her dog to the vet, and … it died.

Maurice: No way!

Stuart: Yep.

Maurice: So what did you do?

Stuart: The only thing I could do. I bought the old lady a new dog.

Maurice: She must have been pleased.

Stuart: Nope. Dog ran away. Turns out when I tripped over the leash, I tore it. Leash broke, dog ran away.

Maurice: Holy hell. So then what?

Stuart: We settled on a cat.

Maurice: Sounds like a solution.

Stuart stares at Maurice.

Maurice: No … What happened to the cat?

Stuart: Nothing. Turns out the old woman’s deathly allergic to them.

Maurice: She didn’t …

Stuart: Nooo. No, no, no. But she’s in the hospital.

Maurice: So, where are you off to now?

Stuart: Buy a litter box. Damned cat peed all over my rug.

 

Next stop: Friday, November 24th, 9:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.